Dolorous Ted @dolorousted.bsky.social · 04/10/2026Showing the kids some of that good shit that got me hooked on movies 020
Dolorous Ted @dolorousted.bsky.social · 06/07/2026I ate goat for the first time, it was spicy and delicious. Because a family from India immigrated to my town and opened a restaurant, blessing us with their food and hospitality. And all the xenophobic simpletons in their MAGA hats that populate this area like lice can die bored for all I care. 150
Dolorous Ted @dolorousted.bsky.social · 01/07/2026“Conventional wisdom said a man who’s torso was twisted 180 degrees from his lower half couldn’t even play soccer, let alone football, and yet by the end of the tournament…” 150
Dolorous Ted @dolorousted.bsky.social · 12/06/2026“This old maternity dress I've got is going in the garbage The clothes I'm wearing from now on won't take up so much yardage Miniskirts, hot pants, and a few little fancy frills Yeah, I'm making up for all those years since I've got the pill!” 020
Dolorous Ted @dolorousted.bsky.social · 25/05/2026George Floyd was murdered by cops six years ago today. 060
Dolorous Ted @dolorousted.bsky.social · 23/05/2026TIL the Swedish word for “speed” is “fart”. 2203305600
Dolorous Ted @dolorousted.bsky.social · 20/05/2026If I had a midlife crisis it might not be obvious at first… but there would be signs… 040
Dolorous Ted @dolorousted.bsky.social · 14/04/2026Today was dumber than shit but at least it’s a nice night 140
Dolorous Ted @dolorousted.bsky.social · 14/04/2026If you see this, post something you saved because it’s funny 050
Dolorous Ted @dolorousted.bsky.social · 12/04/2026Oh, hey me from 20 years ago. You should grow a beard. 040
Dolorous Ted @dolorousted.bsky.social · 28/12/2025Eoin Higgins’ new book is impossible for me to put down (metaphorically speaking, I’m audiobooking). If you dislike people like Matt Taibbi and Glen Greenwald this is for you. If you don’t know why you shouldn’t like people like Matt Taibbi and Glen Greenwald, this book is especially for you. 020
Dolorous Ted @dolorousted.bsky.social · 11/10/2025When your bestie cops to snagging your guitar when you weren’t looking… but then brings it back with a sexy new neck 🥲🫶🤘 170
Dolorous Ted @dolorousted.bsky.social · 09/10/2025“the girlfriend of one of the founders of Antifa” 050
Dolorous Ted @dolorousted.bsky.social · 23/08/2025Taken backstage immediately after an old woman in a rascal scooter thanked me for giving her joy 361
Dolorous Ted @dolorousted.bsky.social · 03/06/2025And with the arrival of this belt buckle, my onstage getup is complete. (Taking promo pics next week, mmmmaybe I’ll share…) 030
Dolorous Ted @dolorousted.bsky.social · 11/05/2025Spotted in the wild: the lesser Midwestern moron man 040
Dolorous Ted @dolorousted.bsky.social · 26/04/2025In case you’re wondering what I’m up to tonight… 010
