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Reposted by man they fucked up my dog

HLVRλI quote bot @hlvraiquotesbot.bsky.social · 1h

How is— What do you mean, acceptable losses? We don't need two people in here! WHAT IS HE DOING???

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Reposted by man they fucked up my dog

xix. the sun @stillinthedark.bsky.social · 1h

I'm undefeatable, I'm thriving! 'Cause I know a thing or two when it comes to being KILLED.

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man they fucked up my dog @doggydumbass.bsky.social · 10h

got it, ma'am! now, uh. after you, then?

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man they fucked up my dog @doggydumbass.bsky.social · 11h

*dopey little salute.* yes, m. . what should i call you, actually? don't wanna assume.

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man they fucked up my dog @doggydumbass.bsky.social · 11h

*clearly picturing Devious things with a big stupid grin on his face.* sure.

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man they fucked up my dog @doggydumbass.bsky.social · 11h

oooh. nice. . still though, do i need insurance-

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man they fucked up my dog @doggydumbass.bsky.social · 11h

.. you think anything would happen if we swapped heads?

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man they fucked up my dog @doggydumbass.bsky.social · 11h

. what does this mean. did you like. get the sex joke, or do i need insurance for this.

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man they fucked up my dog @doggydumbass.bsky.social · 11h

dunno what that is, maybe gimme a demonstration? *canis you cannot keep speaking like this to people you JUST met.*

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man they fucked up my dog @doggydumbass.bsky.social · 11h

oh, uh. it ain't comin' back outta there. dissolved, probably. also tasted weird, but it also. wasn't food, so that makes sense.

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man they fucked up my dog @doggydumbass.bsky.social · 11h

... alright hold on, i got it. *the head is held to the stump it came from, where it nearly instantly melds back into place.* there. no injury, just doin' a bit. *he didn't even move the bandage,,*

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man they fucked up my dog @doggydumbass.bsky.social · 11h

*the head plays dead for a second, before its one eye slowly opens to peek at. whoever the fuck just put a bandage on its stump.* .. see, if you weren't so fuckin' cute, i'd bite you for that.

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man they fucked up my dog @doggydumbass.bsky.social · 11h

*glancing back and forth on the tl for a second.* . lemme just *gorily tearing his own fucking head off*

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man they fucked up my dog @doggydumbass.bsky.social · 13h

can't believe i posted my dick again and nobody even cared

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man they fucked up my dog @doggydumbass.bsky.social · 13h

i could be a mountain sized lady. if i felt like it.

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man they fucked up my dog @doggydumbass.bsky.social · 13h

i called you exactly that five hours ago do you hate me

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man they fucked up my dog @doggydumbass.bsky.social · 13h

oh, i uh. usually have somethin' down there, i just put it away when 'm out in public! *explained like this is normal and logical.* it'd be kinda awkward if i had it out, it'd be at eye level with half the people i know.

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man they fucked up my dog @doggydumbass.bsky.social · 13h

i love when people wanna hurt me real bad

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man they fucked up my dog @doggydumbass.bsky.social · 13h

i figured! people are curious about mine alll the time. *why the fuck is he like this.* when you're pretty, it. just kinda happens.

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man they fucked up my dog @doggydumbass.bsky.social · 14h

*the assorted scars and injuries across his body change entirely every time she blinks. they're also all purple.* is there like. a reason we shouldn't be?

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man they fucked up my dog @doggydumbass.bsky.social · 14h

*blank dopey smile. does he know. like in general.*

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man they fucked up my dog @doggydumbass.bsky.social · 14h