Sign in

🔪🩸

@doe06.bsky.social
9 followers 0 following 204 posts

putting shadoe through a meat grinder my vent alt — view at own discretion

PostsRepliesMedia
🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
might need to go to the counselor just to talk about my education and what to do with myself considering dropping out but idk what's the smartest move (not only financially but psychologically as well)
010
🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
drinking less would probably help, but then i'm just gonna be too anxious to have fun
000
🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
i need to stop having drunk breakdowns in the baddie's bed while she's trying to sleep, i'm the worst
100
🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
I'm not exaggerating when i say that job traumatized me i can NOT make phone calls anymore
010
🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
i've been helping the volunteers lately and even though in-real-time translation is extremely difficult and stressful, it's still so much less emotionally taxing than working in customer support lmao
220
🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
i had to pay a fine for no ticket on the train because i got stuck on the train car and couldn't buy a ticket :( i would have paid less for an uber back and i wouldn't have to walk an hour i need more commissions i can't afford that
021
🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
a. friend brought it up and. i might have bpd
000
🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
but even if, her not letting me know the day before if it's still on is really hurtful i live far away from the city, so getting there is a huge long trip that i have to plan ahead every time and i don't even know the exact address of the event we were supposed to go to either
110
🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
she's been completely ignoring me since yesterday and we were gonna go out tomorrow so now i don't know what i'm supposed to do
110
🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
impulsively gave myself a haircut and lowkey i look crazy but i'm so brave and normal about it
101
🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
but whateverrrrrr
000
🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
having an ed-induced meltdown in a baddie's bed while she's asleep right next to me but she can't know i'm relapsing bc then she'll realize she's the only thing i've had to eat the past two days
110
🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
maybe i do need therapy lol
000
🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
can't move out though I'm an unemployed student with anxiety so severe i haven't been able to land a job in five years just thinking about that makes me hyperventilate
100
🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
she keeps saying i should go to therapy, but i stand by my word that i don't need therapy, i just need to move out (and maybe some anxiety drugs)
100
🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
so sick of being criticized 24/7
100
🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
but she's leaving the country in may 😭 i'm lowkey considering taking a gap year just bc of that
100
🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
excited to get my schedule for this semester but also miserable bc that means I'll have less time to make out with beautiful hot tgirls
110
🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
i'd been nonbinary for 10 years, even longer if you count my tboy phase, it's too complicated to live like that, i'm tired, i wanna live a simpler life
110
🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
so the girl i've been hanging out with (my gf? idk, we talked about it and she calls me that, but idk how that sits with me) says that she thinks i might be repressing the fact i'm nonbinary but like whatever i don't wanna deal with that rn
230
🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
🤝 us having a lesbian handshake
020
🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
actually, i'm still pissed off about this why does me sleeping with trans women suddenly mean i'm bi? how does it make me any less of a lesbian? you're just a terf and your opinion means nothing to me
281
🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
made myself sad really want a top surgery now but it's probably never gonna happen
010
🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 10/08/2026
i'm honestly so sick of people questioning my sexuality just bc i see trans women as women? lmao
130
🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 07/08/2026
it's selfish of me to want ro see her asap i know she needs time to rest but i still wanna see her
000
🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 07/08/2026
want her to be back already
100
🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 07/08/2026
i miss her
110
🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 03/08/2026
i'm such a fat fucking chud and a loser
000
🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 03/08/2026
got straight up giddy bc she wants to go stargaze together when she's back in a week...
120
🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 01/08/2026
and now she wants to talk about "us" again about what we are even though we already had this conversation... i don't want things to change between us
110
🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 01/08/2026
it was real bad, too i pretty much told her everything, all my issues and fears and traumas, i opened myself and lay completely bare in front of her it took me literal days to recover from it
110
🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 01/08/2026
i'm thankful that she even still likes me, i know we're both damaged and struggling, but it was the first time i ever broke down in front of another person and it was terrifying
110
🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 01/08/2026
so like, i messed up big time, bc i got super drunk and had a pretty severe mental breakdown in front of her, and now she keeps saying i should go to therapy
210
🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 21/07/2026
it's not a relationship because i don't DO relationships, but... i feel like this is a relationship in everything but the name and i don't know how to feel about it
110
🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 21/07/2026
i don't have feelings for her, we're just friends, we established it early on, but i know i'm gonna be a little heartbroken when she has to go back home after the foreign exchange program ends
110
🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 21/07/2026
not my heart literally skipping a beat when i see her come online and read my message i'm such a loser
120
🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 20/07/2026
it's always so tough for me when i get my period i get so depressed and anxious and my mental state just takes a nose dive because i'm reminded of my fertility it's so much
000
🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 20/07/2026
i've been crying all night bc of my tokophobia
100
🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 10/07/2026
i realized i'm less likely to dissociate when i'm in control, when my own pleasure isn't the focus and i can make my partner feel good i want to write yuri 💙🖤 like this (i already have but from 🖤's pov so i didn't really go into much detail about it)
010
🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 10/07/2026
i'm so used to always being the first texter that when someone does it first i get jumpscared lol she must really like me (<- after being told by her repeatedly that she does, and hooking up with her multiple times)
000
🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 10/07/2026
she messaged me first 🥺
100
🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 09/07/2026
i'm the happiest i've ever been when outside, but the most miserable when at home i want to not be sick so i can go out again and drink till i can't be sad anymore
000
🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 09/07/2026
i've been crying so much lately, but i've also been really happy lately, i don't know what's going on
100
🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 08/07/2026
i've overdone it with going out and drinking every day and i caught a cold...
000
🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 06/07/2026
i almost had a panic attack at the last party because i was already nervous about seeing her and i smoked some weed and it made me so paranoid thinking she actually hates me and is just putting up with me because off our mutual friends i don't know whats wrong with me i'm okay when i'm around her
000
🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 06/07/2026
i think my anxiety has gotten so much worse over the last week i have so much fun when i go out and then i'm back home and i'm on the verge of a panic attack trying to message her to see her again
100
🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 05/07/2026
actually living my best life rn
000
🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 04/07/2026
i wonder if terios also sees it this way maybe
000
🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 04/07/2026
guess it doesn't really matter whether it's good or bad i will dissociate through most of it anyway not that it's entirely a bad thing
100
🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 04/07/2026
jesus what a night
100