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@doe06.bsky.social
9 followers 0 following 204 posts

putting shadoe through a meat grinder my vent alt — view at own discretion

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🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
might need to go to the counselor just to talk about my education and what to do with myself considering dropping out but idk what's the smartest move (not only financially but psychologically as well)
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🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
i need to stop having drunk breakdowns in the baddie's bed while she's trying to sleep, i'm the worst
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🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
i've been helping the volunteers lately and even though in-real-time translation is extremely difficult and stressful, it's still so much less emotionally taxing than working in customer support lmao
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🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
i had to pay a fine for no ticket on the train because i got stuck on the train car and couldn't buy a ticket :( i would have paid less for an uber back and i wouldn't have to walk an hour i need more commissions i can't afford that
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🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
a. friend brought it up and. i might have bpd
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🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
she's been completely ignoring me since yesterday and we were gonna go out tomorrow so now i don't know what i'm supposed to do
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🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
impulsively gave myself a haircut and lowkey i look crazy but i'm so brave and normal about it
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🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
having an ed-induced meltdown in a baddie's bed while she's asleep right next to me but she can't know i'm relapsing bc then she'll realize she's the only thing i've had to eat the past two days
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🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
so sick of being criticized 24/7
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🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
excited to get my schedule for this semester but also miserable bc that means I'll have less time to make out with beautiful hot tgirls
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🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
so the girl i've been hanging out with (my gf? idk, we talked about it and she calls me that, but idk how that sits with me) says that she thinks i might be repressing the fact i'm nonbinary but like whatever i don't wanna deal with that rn
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🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
actually, i'm still pissed off about this why does me sleeping with trans women suddenly mean i'm bi? how does it make me any less of a lesbian? you're just a terf and your opinion means nothing to me
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🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
made myself sad really want a top surgery now but it's probably never gonna happen
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🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 10/08/2026
i'm honestly so sick of people questioning my sexuality just bc i see trans women as women? lmao
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🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 07/08/2026
i miss her
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🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 03/08/2026
got straight up giddy bc she wants to go stargaze together when she's back in a week...
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🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 01/08/2026
so like, i messed up big time, bc i got super drunk and had a pretty severe mental breakdown in front of her, and now she keeps saying i should go to therapy
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🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 21/07/2026
not my heart literally skipping a beat when i see her come online and read my message i'm such a loser
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🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 20/07/2026
i've been crying all night bc of my tokophobia
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🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 10/07/2026
i realized i'm less likely to dissociate when i'm in control, when my own pleasure isn't the focus and i can make my partner feel good i want to write yuri 💙🖤 like this (i already have but from 🖤's pov so i didn't really go into much detail about it)
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🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 10/07/2026
she messaged me first 🥺
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🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 09/07/2026
i've been crying so much lately, but i've also been really happy lately, i don't know what's going on
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🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 08/07/2026
i've overdone it with going out and drinking every day and i caught a cold...
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🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 06/07/2026
i think my anxiety has gotten so much worse over the last week i have so much fun when i go out and then i'm back home and i'm on the verge of a panic attack trying to message her to see her again
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🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 05/07/2026
actually living my best life rn
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🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 04/07/2026
jesus what a night
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🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 02/07/2026
i'm following my strict diet again and i didn't realize i started eating less over time and my stomach has shrunk those portion sizes make me feel so full... i hate this feeling, it makes me feel disgusting and fat which is ironic considering that eating more is what makes me lose weight
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🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 29/06/2026
I'm going back to my therapist tomorrow... i'm nervous
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🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 26/06/2026
i probably seem like i'm being dramatic, but i'm genuinely distressed by the heatwaves on sunday it's going to hit 40 degrees and i mean it when i say i have no idea what i'll do my room is too unbearable to be in on 30 degrees days will i have to sleep in the bathroom?
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🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 25/06/2026
i wish dressing nicely didn't feel like cosplaying an attractive person
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🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 25/06/2026
today's gonna be tough, bdays are always nostalgic and often depressing to me, and i have an exam to boot (but i studied a lot... i should be fine)
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🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 25/06/2026
for someone with such a low self-esteem, i sure have a huge ego
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🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 19/06/2026
growing up with an ED is tricky, bc then, for the rest of your life, if you start considering a meal for any reason (stomachache, laziness, no time), you start second guessing yourself like "is it just my ED trying to get me to fast through my subconscious"?
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🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 17/06/2026
never trust how you feel about your life or body during exam month and/or before your period
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🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 16/06/2026
i really want to write that one short fic where 🖤 thinks 🤍 has an ed, but i'm worried i'll trigger myself into a relapse
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🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 16/06/2026
i'm running on fumes already, i don't know if i can do it
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🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 10/06/2026
i just realized i can't seem to write anything without including at least a brief instance of dissociation/zoning out
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🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 09/06/2026
i'm going to drink so much on my birthday
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🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 09/06/2026
i don't want to show openly that i'm struggling with the gift because it'd be rude but honestly, it just turned out longer than i had planned again so i'm worried i'll end up having to submit it without proof-reading bc i simply don't have the time i'm really stressed they won't like it
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🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 09/06/2026
today (9th): MA project presentation 10th: german exam (written) 11th: research with human participants exam 12th: MA project presentation 2 15th: eye-tracking exam 16th: MA project methodology plan submission deadline 17th: MA project presentation 3 also 17th: 💙🖤 exchange submission deadline
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🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 08/06/2026
AITA for telling my classmate that his jokes about me being old aren't funny to anyone but him
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🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 06/06/2026
i love music a lot, it's one of the reasons i'm living for, but it's painful that i have no talent for music at all i look up to my friends who are in a band so much i don't think i'll ever be able to express it
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🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 06/06/2026
i want to be someone who parties more, and i know im going to regret not letting myself have more fun when i'm older
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🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 02/06/2026
hate it when my scale tells me my bmi is healthy like girl i sure do Not feel healthy, i did feel healthy when it was much lower though
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🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 01/06/2026
too often i forget gay men are still men
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🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 31/05/2026
maybe the reason my 'fitness goals' never worked out is bc i have too high of expectations for myself i have to stop comparing myself to others and remember that i have many limitations because of my back problems
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🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 29/05/2026
being friends with kind people has really helped me become kinder myself there's a lot that goes into being kind, because it requires you to show vulnerability, show that you care about other people i've always cared but never showed it because of the fear of being vulnerable im becoming kinder now
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🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 28/05/2026
i might actually have ADHD (or whatever other symptoms disorder that makes it so caffeine as a stimulant can boost focus) bc i've cut down on the amount of energy drinks i have just to drink more water and i've been having the WORST brain fog, forgetting things all the time which is unusual for me
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🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 25/05/2026
i'm gonna throw up
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🔪🩸 @doe06.bsky.social · 22/05/2026
i'm so nervous for my presentation that i feel like i'm gonna pass out but i try to stay strong with the thought that no matter how badly i do i'm still gonna get a beer with the others after classes
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