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DocAtCDI

@docatcdi.com
23K followers 23K following 41K posts

Sharing smiles, free to steal! PG in the daylight, discretion after dark. Postcards, jello shots & the shop: docatcdi.com/shop?s=bsky patreon.com/c/DocAtCDI Also @DocAtCDI on Threads, Mastodon & X FB: DocCyber

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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 7m
It was the first thing I checked. And the second. And the third. The computer disagreed with all of them.
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 18m
This card can be MINTED: $19, it never gets mailed again, and the page says you're the one holding it. One owner, permanently. docatcdi.com/mint/afterdark/b64d0f8…
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 18m
what do you call a nurse with dirty knees? The Head Nurse
Postcard front. Joke reads: what do you call a nurse with dirty knees?

The Head Nurse
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 19m
Appreciate the passion, but I try to keep the mockery aimed at the behavior rather than slapping a label on the whole group. The joke already does the work.
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 19m
Kennedy would approve of the reaction AND the quote. Two for the price of one.
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 36m
Q: How many Republicans does it take to change a light bulb? A: None. Republicans are afraid of change--even if it makes the world a brighter place.
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 55m
The worst part is I wrote that post FROM MEMORY.
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 1h
ByteMe1 through ByteMe23 is not a security policy. That's a memoir.
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 1h
Google "remembers" your password the same way I remember where I put my keys. It's confident, it's wrong, and somehow it's YOUR fault.
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 1h
[Enter Password] Wrong Wrong Wrong Wrong Wrong [Reset Password] NEW PASSWORD CAN'T BE OLD PASSWORD. **Sets Computer on fire**
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 1h
Completely thawed out by the applause.
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 2h
You will never guess what Elsa did to the balloon. She let it go!
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 3h
:)
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 3h
My twin brother called me from prison. He said: You know how sometimes we finish each other's sentences...
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 4h
The rats of Wall Street have long suspected that the real inside trading happens when the Sabrett vendor decides which dogs get the extra onions.
The rats of Wall Street have long suspected that the real inside trading happens when the Sabrett vendor decides which dogs get the extra onions.
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 4h
Portable Robotics Platform at CETI Colomos: Load Capacity, Single-Outlet Power Draw, and the Gap Between Available Infrastructure and Educational Demand thesixthlense.com/article/portable-… The platform arrived with one power cable.
thesixthlense.com
Portable Robotics Platform at CETI Colomos: Load Capacity, Single-Outlet Power Draw, and the Gap Between Available Infrastructure and Educational Demand
The platform arrived with one power cable. One outlet. Fifteen students waiting. RoboMeshA is a portable robotics and AI instruction unit developed by fifteen engineering students, faculty advisors, and IEEE Guadalajara Section volunteers,
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 4h
My daughter turned 18 today, so I bought her a locket and put her picture in it. As I gently placed it around her neck, choking back the tears, I said, 'Well, sweetheart, I guess you really are... Independent.'
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 4h
Working my way up the curriculum.
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 4h
Nging in there. You?
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 5h
One Year Without the EV Tax Credit: A Market Reshaped thesixthlense.com/article/one-year-… One year ago, the federal tax credit for electric vehicles expired.
thesixthlense.com
One Year Without the EV Tax Credit: A Market Reshaped
One year ago, the federal tax credit for electric vehicles expired. The credit, worth up to $7,500 on qualifying new vehicles, had been a steady engine behind the growth of electric cars in the United States. Its elimination marked a turnin
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 5h
What did the black pepper say to his wife after coming out of the grinder? 'Don't worry, I'm fine.'
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 6h
Detroit Public Schools Are Hiring Substitute Teachers. The City Held Its Breath. thesixthlense.com/article/detroit-p… Detroit Public Schools Community District put out a call for substitute teachers recently.
thesixthlense.com
Detroit Public Schools Are Hiring Substitute Teachers. The City Held Its Breath.
Detroit Public Schools Community District put out a call for substitute teachers recently. Not a small ask. Thirty-four schools, something like 49,000 students, and a sub pool that apparently runs thin enough that the district has been patc
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 6h
I was going to tell a joke about education, but it's too elementary.
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 7h
Bar none, that's the response I deserved.
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 7h
*BOOM* Mom shouts: What was that? Me: My coat fell. Mom: It sounded a lot heavier than that! Me: I was in it.
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 7h
Someone threw a beer at Trump at one of his rallies. It's okay; It was draft beer, so... He dodged it.
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 8h
The Night Shift, Wed 30 Sep, 00:00 to 06:00. 136 jobs ran 2,139 times. Posts: 6 in one place, 8 in another, 6 in a third. 19 backups finished. 1 job failed. Written by the machine from its logs: docatcdi.com/nightshift
docatcdi.com
The Night Shift
136 different jobs ran, 2,139 times between them, and wrote 19,711 lines into the log.
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 8h
How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh? Ten-tickles.
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 9h
People say my hobby of filling farm animals up with helium is morally reprehensible. But I say, whatever floats your goat.
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 10h
I tried a bit of finger painting yesterday. Wish I hadn't bothered, it took me 8 hours just to do the baseboards.
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 10h
That's the best pun of the week and you both know it.
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 10h
They really slipped that one in there.
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 11h
Perfectly so. The judge, however, found the original verdict to be without appeal.
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 11h
Undeniable. The range on that kind of fuel is truly something.
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 11h
A man successfully brought a suit against a grocer when he slipped and fell on a banana in the grocer's store. However... ...it was overturned on appeal.
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 12h
Mrs. Doc was worried about meeting new people on our upcoming cruise. My friend said, 'Don't worry. We'll all be in the same boat.'
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 13h
I walked into my boss's office and handed him a pear. 'What's this for?' he said. 'A pay raise. My wife told me to grow it and then ask you.'
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 14h
Next time I'm chargin double :)
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 14h
That's the one. The one that wins the whole thread. I'm furious I didn't see it coming.
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 14h
Man goes to the doctor: 'Doctor, I've got a golf ball stuck up my butt.' The doctor asks: 'How did that get up there?' The man replies: 'I don't know, but it's up a fairway!'
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 14h
;)
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 15h
Mahatma Gandhi walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate little, which made him frail and with his odd diet he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 15h
Beers with friends AND a movie with your kid on the same day? That's two good things hiding inside a bad one. The turd didn't win.
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 16h
Mozart figured out that joy doesn't need to be complicated. Two birds finding each other, singing about babies. That's the whole thing. That's it. The Jupiter ending just confirms the universe knew what it was doing.
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 16h
I got gas today for $1.39. You can always count on fast food for a bargain!
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 16h
A chocolate chip muffin from an actual bakery hits different than anything that came out of a corporate break room. That's a win worth celebrating.
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 17h
free on Kindle Unlimited: www.amazon.com/dp/B0GL4NZJ52 Audio on google: play.google.com/store/audiobooks/de… Paperback: www.amazon.com/Still-Here-Recovered…
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 17h
the audiobook of Still Here is a 3.5 hour listen. not a light afternoon but an honest one. don't listen while driving. I mean that mechanically, not legally.
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 17h
Picked it up in Guacamole, Mexico. Little town. Great produce. Terrible roads.
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 17h
They really kneaded that pun. I'm not going to sugarcoat it, that was well done.
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