Reposted by @fads2.f4-=+Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 21/01/2025Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was odd. 2111 11
Reposted by @fads2.f4-=+Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 21/01/2025In communist China, government tell you what can and can't say. In capitalist America, government decide what corporation tell you what you can and can't say. 0177 17
Reposted by @fads2.f4-=+Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 21/01/2025My boss calls me a “the computer” because I fall asleep when unattended after 15 minutes. 081 8
Reposted by @fads2.f4-=+Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 21/01/2025Why does America not use the metric system? Because they have a foot fetish. 091 9
Reposted by @fads2.f4-=+Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 20/01/2025What sound does a clock in America make? None, because there is no more Tik Tok! 052 5
Reposted by @fads2.f4-=+Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 20/01/2025Son: "Dad, what's a forklift?" Dad: "Food, usually." 062 6
Reposted by @fads2.f4-=+Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 20/01/2025I dated a French girl that insisted on pegging me with a baguette It was a huge pain in my ass 051 5
Reposted by @fads2.f4-=+Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 20/01/2025After 20 years of marriage, my wife still thinks I'm a stud Sometimes I'll walk by and hear her whisper to herself "what a dick" 092 9
Reposted by @fads2.f4-=+Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 20/01/2025What search engine does Mario use? YAHOO! 061 6
Reposted by @fads2.f4-=+Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 20/01/2025With ticktock banned and pornhub doing age verification… I’m concerned the red state public education system is going to collapse 1175 17
Reposted by @fads2.f4-=+Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 19/01/2025I wanted to be a hand model but got turned around for not having the face for it. Where can a guy get a decent handjob that doesn't require headshots? 152 5
Reposted by @fads2.f4-=+Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 19/01/2025I was annoyed when the Queen of England died Not because she died but because she spoiled the ending of the TV Series “The Crown”. 051 5
Reposted by @fads2.f4-=+Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 19/01/2025Why does Hamlet take so long in the bathroom? He can't decide whether to pee or not to pee. 0143 14
Reposted by @fads2.f4-=+Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 19/01/2025I visited my friend at his new house. He told me to make myself at home So I threw him out. I hate having visitors 092 9
Reposted by @fads2.f4-=+Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 19/01/2025Okay everyone, wish me luck. I have a meeting at the bank later and if all goes well, I'll be out of debt... I'm so excited I can barely put on my ski mask. 2184 18
Reposted by @fads2.f4-=+Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 19/01/2025Angry wife Angry wife: I should have married the devil. He would have made a better husband than you. Hubby: you would’ve been arrested. Incest is illegal. 142 4
Reposted by @fads2.f4-=+Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 19/01/2025I went to visit my childhood home, but the people who lived there wouldn’t let me in. My parents are the worst. 0184 18
Reposted by @fads2.f4-=+Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 19/01/2025My grandpa told me he got to see the Titanic and warned everyone not to get onboard because he knew it was going to sink. He warned them over and over… … until the moment they kicked him out of the movie theater. yeah 0163 16
Reposted by @fads2.f4-=+Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 19/01/20251 week ago, I decided to quit my porn addiction The bad news is, im not even close to beating it yet The good news is, im not even close to beating it yet 062 6
Reposted by @fads2.f4-=+Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 19/01/2025I went to friend's funeral yesterday and spoke on the families behalf. I only said one word, "Bargain!" I was told later by his loved ones that it meant a great deal. 2124 12
Reposted by @fads2.f4-=+Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 19/01/2025My girlfriend’s dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. It just made her more upset. She screamed at me and said, ” What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?’ 092 9
Reposted by @fads2.f4-=+Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 18/01/2025I was taking shit when suddenly someone knock at door. 🗿 No toilet paper. 😰 032 3
Reposted by @fads2.f4-=+Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 18/01/2025What do you call a sick streamer? An influenza 196 9
Reposted by @fads2.f4-=+Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 18/01/2025Wife: I love you. Husband: Is that you or the wine talking? Wife: It’s me talking. To the wine. 0175 17
Reposted by @fads2.f4-=+Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 18/01/2025My Cambodian wife of five years has finally decided to take my last name. It was Phun while it lasted. 193 9
Reposted by @fads2.f4-=+Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 18/01/2025My wife said that if I post another joke on this sub she would smash my head on the keyboard. Of course, I didn’t listen so here we wivpusvvhodpsh sph. Lha hoslbs lb slb sho phs lhd ddbl 0144 14
Reposted by @fads2.f4-=+Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 18/01/2025When a kid burned down his house, his father watched, put an arm around his wife, and said, “That’s arson.” 0102 10
Reposted by @fads2.f4-=+Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 18/01/2025My wife gave me an ultimatum. It's either her, or my addiction to sweets. The decision was a piece of cake. 092 9
Reposted by @fads2.f4-=+Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 18/01/2025A man at the sperm bank is complaining that he’s having trouble The manager looks at his coworker and says “get a load of this guy.” 061 6
Reposted by @fads2.f4-=+Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 18/01/2025My wife has sleeping issues. She wakes up at 2-3am every night and can’t go back to sleep. I told her to wake me up for sex when that happens…she suddenly doesn’t have a sleeping problem any more. 051 5
Reposted by @fads2.f4-=+Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 18/01/2025I saw a man who lost his penis ejaculating... He came out of nowhere 042 4
Reposted by @fads2.f4-=+Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 18/01/2025I told my daughter, "go to bed, the cows are sleeping in the field." She asked, "what's that got to do with anything?" I said, "that means it's pasture bedtime." 0184 18
Reposted by @fads2.f4-=+Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 18/01/2025I’m luckier than most married guys—my wife initiates every time we have sex! I initiate all the times we don’t. 071 7
Reposted by @fads2.f4-=+Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 18/01/2025What do you call an amature circumcision A rip off 3102 10
Reposted by @fads2.f4-=+Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 17/01/2025A friend suggested that I should see a doctor about my chronic procrastinating. Maybe I'll call for an appointment next month. 191 9
Reposted by @fads2.f4-=+Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 17/01/2025I can say with absolute certainty that my grammar is wonderful. My grampar's great, too. 022 2
Reposted by @fads2.f4-=+Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 17/01/2025An interesting fact about bees. Most bees are allergic to pollen. When they are exposed to pollen the develop hives! 171 7
Reposted by @fads2.f4-=+Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 17/01/2025Folks my age remember Bill Clinton playing the sax on the Arsenio Hall show. But how come no one talks about what a good dancer his VP was? We wouldn't have the Internet as we know it today if not for the Al Gore rhythm. 063 6
Reposted by @fads2.f4-=+Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 17/01/2025A genie offers a balkan man one wish, but his neighbour will get double of whatever he wishes for himself. The man wishes for one of his kidneys to fail. 161 6
Reposted by @fads2.f4-=+Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 17/01/2025Why don't cannibals cook instant noodles? They prefer raw men 061 6
Reposted by @fads2.f4-=+Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 17/01/2025Had sex with a navy girl Told her thank you for your cervix. (True story) 191 9
Reposted by @fads2.f4-=+Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 17/01/2025My wife calls me her sex machine all the time. Well technically she says "you're a fucking tool" but I get what she means. 0151 15
Reposted by @fads2.f4-=+Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 16/01/2025Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they would be called bagels. 1113 11
Reposted by @fads2.f4-=+Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 16/01/2025What did the drummer name his 3 daughters? Anna 1, Anna 2 , Anna 3 091 9
Reposted by @fads2.f4-=+Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 16/01/2025I asked the ER doctor if I could do my own stitches. She said... "Suture self." 2153 15
Reposted by @fads2.f4-=+Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 15/01/2025If a backseat driver became a car part, what would he be called? The car-berator 061 6
Reposted by @fads2.f4-=+Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 15/01/2025I’m starting up a new company specialising in vajazzles It’s called “All That Clitoris Gold” 031 3
Reposted by @fads2.f4-=+Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 15/01/2025What is a vampire's favorite beer? Bloodweiser. 081 8
Reposted by @fads2.f4-=+Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 15/01/2025Many women say that men only think with their penises Well I have a message for all those women - feel free to blow my mind! 041 4
Reposted by @fads2.f4-=+Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 15/01/2025What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle? Attire. 1122 12
