iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

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Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 21/01/2025

Orion's Belt isn't all that great. It's just a huge waist of space.

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Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 21/01/2025

I used to have a stepladder at my job, but it disappeared. Just like my real ladder.

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Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 21/01/2025

Have you guys heard the latest scandal that Musk misappropriated Tesla funds to pay for penis enlargement surgery? The press is calling it Elongate.

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Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 21/01/2025

In communist China, government tell you what can and can't say. In capitalist America, government decide what corporation tell you what you can and can't say.

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Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 21/01/2025

My boss calls me a “the computer” because I fall asleep when unattended after 15 minutes.

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Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 21/01/2025

Why is Dwayne Johnson the only man who can turn lesbians? Because Rock beats scissors

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Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 21/01/2025

Why does America not use the metric system? Because they have a foot fetish.

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Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 21/01/2025

So a pasta salesman walks up to a pimp and tries to trade product for sex. He says... "Penne for your thots?"

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Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 21/01/2025

When I was interviewed for a job, I was told I would start at $2,000 a month, and then after six months, I’d get $2,500 a month. I told her I would start in six months.

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Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 20/01/2025

Me and another cook were in a heated debate about how our new salad should be presented. We got fired for chopping it up.

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Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 20/01/2025

I asked my friend why he only wore his N95 in church. He said that his doctor had told him to wear his mask religiously.

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Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 20/01/2025

How did the burglar enter the house? He got intruda-window.

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Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 20/01/2025

My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape. I said… That would be a big step forward.

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Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 20/01/2025

I used to confuse orgasm and organic. But now the difference comes naturally.

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Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 20/01/2025

Relationships are like algebra. Sometimes I’ll look at the X and wonder Y.

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Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 20/01/2025

What has ears but never listens? A corn field…….

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Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 20/01/2025

The government decided to phase out coins in our currency today. This country just has no cents anymore.

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Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 20/01/2025

My doctor told me to put an end to drinking brake fluid I told him I can stop anytime

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Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 20/01/2025

What sound does a clock in America make? None, because there is no more Tik Tok!

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Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 20/01/2025

Son: "Dad, what's a forklift?" Dad: "Food, usually."

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Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 20/01/2025

Why did Mufasa die in the stampede? He was moving too slow, he needed to Mufasa

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Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 20/01/2025

Which NBA team has the lowest payroll? Milwaukee; they only pay 15 Bucks.

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Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 20/01/2025

I like TikTok how I like my coffee. Dark

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Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 20/01/2025

My prosthetic arm was stolen But the police found it at the second hand shop.

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Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 20/01/2025

I dated a French girl that insisted on pegging me with a baguette It was a huge pain in my ass

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Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 20/01/2025

Have you ever tried blind folded Archery? You don’t know what you’re missing.

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Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 20/01/2025

After 20 years of marriage, my wife still thinks I'm a stud Sometimes I'll walk by and hear her whisper to herself "what a dick"

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Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 20/01/2025

I hired two guys to stand in my living room and hold up my drapes. Their names are Kurt and Rod!

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Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 20/01/2025

What search engine does Mario use? YAHOO!

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Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 20/01/2025

With ticktock banned and pornhub doing age verification… I’m concerned the red state public education system is going to collapse

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Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 20/01/2025

How does a man satisfy his wife in bed? By sleeping on the sofa

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Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 20/01/2025

My friend had a surgery to transition from a man to a woman. I asked "of all the things they cut, what hurt the most?" "The salary", they said.

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Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 20/01/2025

Doctor said I have a low sperm count and that’s why my wife wasn’t getting pregnant Needless to say, the wife was not happy with all my short comings.

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Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 19/01/2025

Well, that didn't work out. And the thing is, she's the one who insisted I *"put a ring on it."*

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Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 19/01/2025

I told my parents to watch the kids. When I came back the baby was still chewing on the ouija board, so I guess it worked.

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Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 19/01/2025

Building castles and moats seems pointless. It's a waste of time and a fort.

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Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 19/01/2025

I wanted to be a hand model but got turned around for not having the face for it. Where can a guy get a decent handjob that doesn't require headshots?

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Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 19/01/2025

Sure, I'll be your puppet. No strings attached.

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Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 19/01/2025

I was annoyed when the Queen of England died Not because she died but because she spoiled the ending of the TV Series “The Crown”.

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Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 19/01/2025

Why does Hamlet take so long in the bathroom? He can't decide whether to pee or not to pee.

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Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 19/01/2025

I once had a job crushing cans, but quit shortly after I started It was soda pressing

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Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 19/01/2025

I visited my friend at his new house. He told me to make myself at home So I threw him out. I hate having visitors

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Divyaswor Makai @divyaswor.bsky.social · 19/01/2025

Okay everyone, wish me luck. I have a meeting at the bank later and if all goes well, I'll be out of debt... I'm so excited I can barely put on my ski mask.

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