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Legend of Haunted Zarban @derekzarban.bsky.social · 13h

Even the 356 was ridiculously underpowered. McQueen probably got the slightly beefier one, but most only had 60 hp!

Legend of Haunted Zarban @derekzarban.bsky.social · 13h

This account considers anyone that uses the spelling "through", as opposed to the highly accepted new & more accurate spelling "thru", THE ENEMY! President Derek J Zarban

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Legend of Haunted Zarban @derekzarban.bsky.social · 14h

They've also reduced the amount of chicken in their crispy chicken salad enough that people are noticing. #DairyQueen

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Legend of Haunted Zarban @derekzarban.bsky.social · 18h

The FBI engaged with this kid for two years & still failed to deradicalize him.

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Legend of Haunted Zarban @derekzarban.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

...or do you specifically mean a really horny version of it?

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Legend of Haunted Zarban @derekzarban.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

You mean "Happy Birthday"? The song everyone sings to everyone on their birthday?

Egyptian Minister of Antiquities Zahi Hawass and good friend Omar Sharif sang "Happy Birthday" to each other.

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Legend of Haunted Zarban @derekzarban.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

Mine included "has pretty large hands", which I'm sure I wrote in a product review, so I'm pretty sure she must have actually written "I have a flat butt" in a product review also.

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Legend of Haunted Zarban @derekzarban.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

Washing with baking soda really does remove food coloring. Thanks, YouTube.🫲

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Legend of Haunted Zarban @derekzarban.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

mission commander: You're gonna need a whole lot of googly eyes. Are you ready? me: I've never been more ready.

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Legend of Haunted Zarban @derekzarban.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

Teranv. Comfortable wearing. Now $1.98 on Temu.

AI product image from Temu showing a wristwatch with an extra strap at an impossible angle.

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Legend of Haunted Zarban @derekzarban.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

Why is gmail so bad? Aside from a lousy search function, you have to find the thread & dig into it to see all the messages & then dig FURTHER to view a given whole message you didn't even know existed.

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Legend of Haunted Zarban @derekzarban.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

Sending Hastert’s obit to Trump with “this could be us, but you playin”.

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Legend of Haunted Zarban @derekzarban.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

Reading mac & cheese directions: SIX CUPS of water? I don't know if I HAVE that much water!

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Legend of Haunted Zarban @derekzarban.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

they called me to sub at the pharmacy today. i have no idea what im doing. pills all over the floor. swallowed som by accident. felinwoozy

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Legend of Haunted Zarban @derekzarban.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

The budget for this sort of thing should be measured in cop years. It looks like this was $11.5M, which is like 5 cops for 7 years (when you figure insurance, pension, & equipment on top of wages & overtime). And with 139 homeless off the streets, Denver will probably need 5 fewer cops.

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Legend of Haunted Zarban @derekzarban.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

I regret to inform you that my small town has switched from playing an all-1970s mix on all the downtown speakers all day to playing a mix of the 70s & today.

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Legend of Haunted Zarban @derekzarban.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

"Great catch. That wasn't true, and you're right to call me on it," is the absolute funniest thing a computer could say. Why do people bother with a machine that makes things up & confidently reports them as fact??

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Legend of Haunted Zarban @derekzarban.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

The solution, as with all men society can't trust but who haven't been convicted of a crime, is for all frat boys to wear body cameras.

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Legend of Haunted Zarban @derekzarban.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

I had my dog neutered before puberty so he could still sing the high notes.

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Legend of Haunted Zarban @derekzarban.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

While Dems are decidedly better at the economy, this compares debt to deficit, which isn't valid.

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Legend of Haunted Zarban @derekzarban.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

The incredible thing is that Nicholson and Freeman are both still alive.

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Legend of Haunted Zarban @derekzarban.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Dynamite: Nobel, 1866. Basically nitroglycerine & clay. Triggered by fire, force, & electricity. Becomes unstable. Mainly mining. Usually red sticks. TNT: Häussermann, 1891 (was yellow dye, 1863). Triggered mainly by blasting cap. Very stable. Mainly warfare. Usually yellow blocks.

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Legend of Haunted Zarban @derekzarban.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Feminize a band name: The Righteous Brassieres

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Reposted by Legend of Haunted Zarban

An American Trey Stokes In London @treystokes.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

Feminize a band name: Cervix-a-Lot

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Legend of Haunted Zarban @derekzarban.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Know this: I don't care who you are. I will reserve judgment about you until I read the "Personal Life" section of your Wikipedia page.

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Legend of Haunted Zarban @derekzarban.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Gave up trying to replace the keyboard on my Asus laptop. I got about 20 screws out (back, battery, & motherboard) & got cold feet. Guess I'll be using a USB keyboard until I'm ready to replace the laptop.🤷‍♂️

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Legend of Haunted Zarban @derekzarban.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Fake it till people point out you absolutely cannot and will not make it.

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Legend of Haunted Zarban @derekzarban.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Been working on some replacements for "rama lama ding dong". No advancement has been made in decades. - hunga dunga ling lang - lolly polly rang rung - sharka larka long dong

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Legend of Haunted Zarban @derekzarban.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

Any of those cops that are not bad apples could have arrested him while the Secret Service was busy deleting all their text messages that said stuff like "Hooray! Now he'll be president-for-life!"

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Legend of Haunted Zarban @derekzarban.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

And if it can happen there, it can happen in other places along the front line....

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Legend of Haunted Zarban @derekzarban.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

Weird that they didn't ask about violent overthrow by the people. I'm not saying I'd support violent overthrow by the people, just that it's weird that they didn't include the possibility that the people would rise up & drag him & his staff & cabinet out &, you know, overthrow them. Just seems odd t

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Legend of Haunted Zarban @derekzarban.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

Anni-Frid looks different without makeup. I mean, I know she was a brunette, but... Also, I thought Benny was taller....

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Legend of Haunted Zarban @derekzarban.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

I'd personally love to see him removed, but like many of the people who answered this survey, I'd be sad if he just died in his sleep. Sooo sad. Look at my sad face. 🥺 Oh, name a strip club in his honor.

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Legend of Haunted Zarban @derekzarban.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

Yeah, this has been my theory for a long time. We've known for ages that the part that does the talking just MAKES UP REASONS for a lot of our actions, because it doesn't have a good dialog with the part that does a lot of thinking & doing.

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Legend of Haunted Zarban @derekzarban.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

Can't we stop this thing where every news story post is just the same sentence four times??

"'Russian Houses' pose a threat" in the post, the image, the headline, and the lede.

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Legend of Haunted Zarban @derekzarban.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

”If you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with” is probably the second worst musical advice in history after “don’t fear the reaper”.

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Legend of Haunted Zarban @derekzarban.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

The Soggy Bottom Boys have announced that they will no longer be opening for Ed Sheeran.

George Clooney & others as the Soggy Bottom Boys in Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?

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Legend of Haunted Zarban @derekzarban.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

I'm not watching a vertical Tiktok post of a landscape video on my widescreen TV. JFC Bluesky sucks.

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Reposted by Legend of Haunted Zarban

James, lunatic armed with some really funky stuff @reelcastortroy.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

The architect who designed the addition 50 years ago is still working and had the original drawings in his archive. Did this. And now we're planning a whole series.

Architectural composite showing a historic red-brick rowhouse beside a hand-drawn street-elevation plan. The photograph shows the three-story facade, tall black-trimmed windows, gray doors, sidewalk planters, and a mature street tree, while the drawing extends the elevation with dimensions, roofline, windows, downspout, and construction notes.

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Legend of Haunted Zarban @derekzarban.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

It's wild that Hollywood has for years made happy claims of "no CGI" in stuff that clearly had a bunch of CGI bc they know audiences don't like CGI stunts & actors, but then they just pivoted to "And now we'll use AI all the time!", which is far worse.

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Legend of Haunted Zarban @derekzarban.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

I'm from Indiana, where I've been surrounded by their nonsense my whole life. I wasn't even disagreeing with you.

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Legend of Haunted Zarban @derekzarban.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

I run the place! They're so used to me saying "I've got that in my car" that it's a running joke. But it's usually something like bottled water or napkins.

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Legend of Haunted Zarban @derekzarban.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

Rank-&-file GOP interests: bigotry, anti-abortion, economics, national security. GOP politicians' interests: corporate welfare*, enriching themselves*, protecting their own*, bigotry, anti-abortion, economics. * not mentioned in public Pretty close alignment, as far as voters can tell.

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Legend of Haunted Zarban @derekzarban.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

I've now figured out how to carry two more double-sided bits, giving me four hex bits, 28 bits in total. 🧑‍🔧

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Legend of Haunted Zarban @derekzarban.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

Humiliating #EveryDayCarry moment. Volunteer at the history center needed a screwdriver, so I leaped to the rescue with my 711L and 24 Wiha bits only to find she needed a hex driver to take apart a flat-pack desk, & I don't carry a single hex bit. 😔 Had to go to the car for my hex driver set.

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