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Kelsi 🍯💌

@dearkelsi.bsky.social
76 followers 81 following 101 posts

swagnotlag on twitter. irl lawyer & fantasy devil's advocate ➡️ etsy.me/4e81guP 😈

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Kelsi 🍯💌 @dearkelsi.bsky.social · 06/05/2025
Every day people in r/writing say some shit like “using tropes makes your prose bad” what are you talking aboutttt
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Kelsi 🍯💌 @dearkelsi.bsky.social · 05/05/2025
Korean spa tomorrow thank GOD
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Kelsi 🍯💌 @dearkelsi.bsky.social · 21/04/2025
Reached a milestone at work where people are regularly asking me questions I don’t know the answer to… like idk can you ask me something easier 😭
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Kelsi 🍯💌 @dearkelsi.bsky.social · 16/04/2025
Today’s #WIPSnips from my scifi/crime story. My space pirate MC grapples with losing everything 😩 my girl has never healthily processed an emotion in her life #writesky
“God fucking damn it!”

	Her head pounded nightmarishly, and she found herself looking for a drink she knew she hadn’t made for herself. Specter drew in a harsh breath, raking a hand down her face. It came away wet, and she worried for a moment that she was bleeding, before recognizing the less familiar taste of salt on her lips instead of the coppery tang of blood.

	“Fuck!”

She hit the console one more time in the hopes that it would make her feel better.

It didn’t.
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Kelsi 🍯💌 @dearkelsi.bsky.social · 15/04/2025
Hiii it’s been a while 🫣 #WIPSnips for today from my scifi/crime story. My space pirate MC and deuteragonist dealing with Specter’s recently-mutinied crew, who are under the effects of an alien drug 🧪 #writesky
Nessa gasped, taking a step back. Blocking them at the entrance was an Eros user so massive as to stymie the others from even reaching them, all of the individual drones too small to climb past this mountain of a man. His shoulders were curled in on himself, as if his own body was self-conscious of the muscles it had cultivated. Pillar-like legs stumbled towards them in swaying steps, only crouching to reach them through the makeshift lab’s doorframe.

“Cap-tain,” he rumbled, Specter’s title spilling out of his gaping maw as if it were two words.

“Klein, you treacherous pig-fucker,” Specter growled, unfettered by fear or common sense. She drew her printed pistol, quick-firing two shots towards his head.
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Reposted by Kelsi 🍯💌
Jooli 💐 @jooliart.bsky.social · 08/04/2025
lalala joy and whimsy #animalcrossing #nintendogamecube
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Kelsi 🍯💌 @dearkelsi.bsky.social · 05/04/2025
Finally did my taxes
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Kelsi 🍯💌 @dearkelsi.bsky.social · 02/04/2025
🚶🏼‍♀️
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Kelsi 🍯💌 @dearkelsi.bsky.social · 02/04/2025
Today’s #WIPSnips from my scifi/crime story! My space pirate MC “convincing” some passengers/captives to go out on a rescue mission #writesky
Specter helped Amira and Nessa get into their spacesuits, unfamiliar as they were with the Judgment’s specialized equipment. The scene was uncharacteristically domestic; Specter looked like a harried mother trying to get her kids ready for school, albeit with substantially more uncouth language.

When she finished pulling taut on the cord cinching in Amira’s waist, she turned to him, “You’re next.”
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Kelsi 🍯💌 @dearkelsi.bsky.social · 31/03/2025
Birthday tomorrow…….
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Kelsi 🍯💌 @dearkelsi.bsky.social · 31/03/2025
Happy last day of March! From my scifi/crime story: some last words of comfort for a man coming down from a terrible trip, who knows he’s about to be thrown out an airlock 😰🫡 #WIPSnips #writesky
“You can rest here until you feel better,” Specter offered, not unkindly.

“Wouldn’t you rather I suffer?” Machiavello asked, and the question was so indulgently self-pitying that she couldn’t stop a bark of laughter from escaping her. He wrinkled his nose in a scowl, clearly feeling his anguish was not being properly appreciated.

“Don’t be so Catholic about it,” she suggested, “I’ll come get you when it’s time.”
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Kelsi 🍯💌 @dearkelsi.bsky.social · 26/03/2025
Today’s #WIPSnips from my scifi/crime story 🖇️💥 I highly recommend everyone write at least one grumpy old man character because they always have the most fun dialogue lol #writesky
“We figured out the problem,” Weissman cracked the engine room door open just enough to peer out at them, as though he’d installed a door chain when no one was looking. “The debris we hit knocked off one of the Orion-drive’s stabilizers. Honestly, the fact that you kludged an Orion-drive to some pre-war schlock already meant we were flying held together by chewing gum, paper clips, and nukes. We’re lucky we didn’t blow ourselves up.”

Specter scowled, her arms crossed in front of her chest, “There’s nothing wrong with the Judgment. Plenty of ships have added an Orion-drive ad hoc.”

“Those ships aren’t piloted by a fucking maniac.”
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Kelsi 🍯💌 @dearkelsi.bsky.social · 25/03/2025
Potential cw for a panic attack (that is not handled well 😬 poor Amira) A #WIPSnips from my scifi/crime story 🫁 #writesky
And they were still out of benzos.

“Amira,” Nessa forced her voice into something vaguely low and soothing, placing a gentle hand over Amira’s own. Amira tightened her grip in response, and Nessa couldn’t help wincing at the pressure on the delicate cartilage of her knee. “You need to calm down, take deep breaths—”

As if in direct contradiction to her orders, Amira began to worsen, stealing each breath into her lungs with a desperate fervor. Her already pallid skin broke out in sweat, looking as though she were in the throes of Eros withdrawal.

“Warning: high oxygen intake,” the ship’s computer mocked.
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Kelsi 🍯💌 @dearkelsi.bsky.social · 20/03/2025
Concert I wanted to go to but didn’t buy tickets for is tonight
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Kelsi 🍯💌 @dearkelsi.bsky.social · 19/03/2025
Today’s #WIPSnips is “ego,” which I have a lot of in my science fiction/crime story 😅 A bit of a longer one today, from my drug lord villain’s POV. Poor Machiavello. Drugs are great for controlling people, producing competent workers is another story #writesky
“You asked for updates, and I have an update,” St. James muttered, his eyes glassy and unfocused. Machiavello wondered if he was stupid enough to have gotten high, if the man had stormed off and taken Eros to soothe his own ego after the lashing Specter had given him. “Her communicator was found discarded in a recycler on the inner ring. And—”

“Yes?” he prompted.

“I’m not feeling well,” St. James mumbled, almost to himself, “Some of Zohar’s men are feeling it too, weird sensations—”

“I don’t really give a shit how you’re feeling,” Machiavello snapped, pointing his finger at the screen. St. James was lucky they weren’t speaking face to face, he would’ve had Amira haul the man up by his pretentious, overly decorated lapels. “You’re a cop, aren’t you? Do your fucking job and find this missing person. Or do you only know how to accept bribes?”
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Microplastics Sommelier @leastactionhero.bsky.social · 27/06/2024
einstein sent this to curie in 1911 when she was being harassed by tabloids. it contains everything you’d want in such a letter: (1) your haters are trash (2) you’re a baller, a true queen (3) i have determined the statistical law of motion of the diatomic molecule in planck’s radiation field 🧪⚛️
Prague, 23 November 1911
Highly esteemed Mrs. Curie,
Do not laugh at me for writing you without having anything sensible to say.
But I am so enraged by the base manner in which the public is presently daring to concern itself with you!? that I absolutely must give vent to this feeling. However, I am convinced that you consistently despise this rabble, whether it obsequiously lavishes respect on you or whether it attempts to satiate its lust for sensationalism!
I am impelled to tell you how much I have come to admire your intellect, your drive, and your honesty, and that I consider myself lucky to have made your personal acquaintance in Brussels. Anyone who does not number among these reptiles is certainly happy, now as before, that we have such personages among us as you, and Langevin(3) too, real people with whom one feels privileged to be in contact. If the rabble continues to occupy itself with you, then simply don't read that hogwash, but rather leave it to the reptile for whom i
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Kelsi 🍯💌 @dearkelsi.bsky.social · 15/03/2025
Watching a child at the farmers market throwing a tantrum over how much he loves bread… should be clarified that he has a bread roll in his hand & occasionally stops screaming to take a bite
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Kelsi 🍯💌 @dearkelsi.bsky.social · 13/03/2025
Do you guys want to see the menu for my Ides of March dinner party 🫣🔪
Gustus

Bread and Circuses
…and cheese, and salami, and…

Cena
Caesar Salad
The big man himself.
Cicero’s Mediterranean Chickpea Salad
The name “Cicero” means “chickpea” in Latin, and was given to one of Cicero’s ancestors who
had a cleft in the tip of his nose resembling a chickpea. Plutarch wrote that Cicero was urged to
change his deprecatory name when he entered politics, but refused, saying that he would bring
the name Cicero glory.
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Veni Vidi Vegan Meatballs
I came, I saw, I conquered my plate.
Ciceroni and Mark Anchovy Pizza
Just kidding, cheese and veggie options.
Bellaria
Olive Oil Cake
The average Roman consumed 20 liters of olive oil each year.
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Potus
Mark Antony’s Open Bar
Cleopatra’s second boyfriend famously liked to party.
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Et tea, Brute?
A selection of caffeinated and non-caffeinated teas.
1 Plutarch, Cicero, 1.3-5.
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https://www.science.org/content/article/ancient-roman-vacationers-consumed-gobs-olive-oil-and-fish-volc
ano-victims-reveal
3 Plutarch, Life of Antony, 9.
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Kelsi 🍯💌 @dearkelsi.bsky.social · 12/03/2025
First #WIPSnips in way too long 😩 From my science fiction/crime story. One of my goals for Specter’s character was that she be able to control a scene even when she’s not in it lol #writesky
	“What’s the plan once we dock?” Rosenthal asked.

	Nessa and Amira exchanged an awkward look. It was some comfort to know that Amira was also embarrassed by how quickly they’d fallen in line with Specter’s orders, even as their quasi-captive. After a beat, Nessa answered, “I don’t know. I’ve been following Specter’s lead.”

	Weissman scoffed, the derisively phlegmy noise of an older man who had no qualms about voicing exactly what he thought, “Of course you have. That’s all anyone seems to know how to do, is follow Specter’s goddamn lead. The woman is a menace.”
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Kelsi 🍯💌 @dearkelsi.bsky.social · 04/03/2025
Love when you see a photo of an author for the first time and you’re like “yeah you look exactly like the type of person who would write that specific book”
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Kelsi 🍯💌 @dearkelsi.bsky.social · 26/02/2025
I altered the waist on a pair of jeans I have so now they actually fit me properly and I have to say… I’m unstoppable fr
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Reposted by Kelsi 🍯💌
Oregon 🕎🎲 @oregonthedm.bsky.social · 23/02/2025
Someone came out of the yarn room
Black cat with a yarn label around shoulders
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Kelsi 🍯💌 @dearkelsi.bsky.social · 22/02/2025
A short #WIPSnips today from my science fiction/crime story, from my villain’s POV 💸 I love writing this guy lol #writesky
Zohar wouldn’t meet his gaze. He kept turning the scotch glass over in his hand again and again, as if it would hold some answers for him. Or, as if he could filter what Machiavello was telling him through the glass and see the truth on the other side. He needed just a bit of a nudge, to be told what he wanted to hear.

“Zohar, I wouldn’t lie to you,” Machiavello lied, “Not when there’s money to be made for us both.”
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Kelsi 🍯💌 @dearkelsi.bsky.social · 19/02/2025
From my SF/crime story: local drug lord stimulates economy, provides jobs in today’s #WIPSnips #writesky
“Yes,” Machiavello confirmed easily, “I got into the synthetics market. Surprisingly profitable in a wartime economy. I was able to offer a lot of desperate people some reprieve. And if not, at least I was offering work,” he gestured lazily at his bodyguard in the corner of the room.

Dangerously, Specter had almost forgotten about Amira, sulking there next to the drapes. She was getting sloppy. Machiavello had a gift for making one feel like the most special person in the world; which, when he lured her into conversation like this, seemed to revolve entirely around him.

“How noble of you,” Specter offered.

If he sensed her sarcasm, he didn’t show it. “I try,” he said, holding a hand to his chest earnestly.
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Kelsi 🍯💌 @dearkelsi.bsky.social · 18/02/2025
Can’t stop thinking about yesterday when me and my friend pulled up at a red light & this 12-ish year old kid pulled up alongside us on his bike, popped a wheelie, and then turned his helmet to make sure we saw the “I ❤️ hot moms” sticker on his helmet lmfao 😭
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Kelsi 🍯💌 @dearkelsi.bsky.social · 15/02/2025
Me + my valentine 💌💘
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Kelsi 🍯💌 @dearkelsi.bsky.social · 14/02/2025
Happy Valentine’s Day! 💌🕊️💘 A less sweet #WIPSnips from my SF/crime story. Nessa has convinced Specter’s child spy to help her sneak into Specter’s office to look for clues re her father’s disappearance. Unfortunately for them, Specter came back early and knows something is off 🫣 #writesky
“Hiding in the bathroom, little pisher?” she asked, kicking Lyle’s discarded pile of blankets. They slid across the tiled floor, hitting the wall and folding in on themselves in a tangled heap.

Nessa screwed her eyes shut, afraid that the extra adrenaline from seeing Specter would cause her body to react and give away her location. She heard Specter climb up onto the toilet, her metallic boot soles clanging against the porcelain. The rusted hinge on the vent door creaked as she opened it.

“When I find you,” Specter called into it, her voice sweetly melodic, “I’m going to skin you alive and turn you into a new leather jacket.” Her words echoed through the vent, distorting into an eerie wail with each successive iteration.
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Kelsi 🍯💌 @dearkelsi.bsky.social · 12/02/2025
Just paid $600 for my bar license fees
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Kelsi 🍯💌 @dearkelsi.bsky.social · 11/02/2025
Potential emetophobia cw 😅 Today’s #WIPSnips is kind of a gross one, sorry. I imagine having a bad trip in space would make an already unpleasant experience even worse. #writesky
Distantly, as if from a memory, he could hear Specter yelling his name. Machiavello shook his head, and the features of the Judgment sharpened around him, coming into focus through his eyes. Everything was too bright. The sensation of travelling dozens of kilometers in seconds had his stomach churning. He rested his head in his hands, desperately resisting the wave of nausea threatening to overtake him.

“Oh, fuck no,” Specter shot him a mean side eye, “Get him one of the self-sealing bags from the emergency kit. If he pukes in here it will be floating around in the interior. I refuse to die choking on someone else’s vomit.”
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Kelsi 🍯💌 @dearkelsi.bsky.social · 08/02/2025
A #WIPSnips from my science fiction/crime story. A fun conversation between my space pirate MC and my villain, a drug lord trying to take over her territory 🥂 #writesky
He laughed, delighted by her frustration, and topped off her glass. “You don’t remember me, do you?”

Specter squinted at him in suspicion, pushing through the wine’s haze to place him in her memory. The intel that Zohar and Klein had fed her was suspect now that she knew they’d been bought. He could have been on the station at some point, perhaps, although she would have remembered a man like Machiavello. For a moment she worried he was a survivor from some ship she’d left for dead in open space, having clawed his way back from near-death to take from her everything she’d taken from him. She discarded the thought just as quickly. Machiavello didn’t want to destroy her, he wanted her capitulation.

He watched her intently as she struggled to remember, relishing her disadvantage. A perverse smile curled up the edges of his thin lips.
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Kelsi 🍯💌 @dearkelsi.bsky.social · 07/02/2025
I have a headache so consuming half a box of Girl Scout cookies in one sitting will probably help
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Kelsi 🍯💌 @dearkelsi.bsky.social · 06/02/2025
Today’s #WIPSnips from my science fiction/crime story. Feat. my space pirate MC and her child spy, which she doesn’t really know what to do with when he’s off the clock 😬
Specter had a penchant for Earthen nature documentaries, although Little Bastard didn’t think she’d ever been to Earth. Her fascination was almost xenophobic, disbelieving that one planet could possibly contain so much life just on its own. She frequently played them in the background while she reviewed ledgers, half-paying attention and occasionally scoffing without looking up. So long as he didn’t bother her, she let him watch from underneath her desk, crouching huddled at her feet.
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Kelsi 🍯💌 @dearkelsi.bsky.social · 06/02/2025
Stitches are OUT
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Kelsi 🍯💌 @dearkelsi.bsky.social · 06/02/2025
Finally getting my stitches from my gum graft out this morning after 6 DAYS
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Kelsi 🍯💌 @dearkelsi.bsky.social · 03/02/2025
From my science fiction/crime story. My deuteragonist is alone with an enemy-turned-ally of necessity. They might both be a little paranoid 🤔 #WIPSnips #writesky
Gravity increased even as they walked from one level to the next. Nessa could feel her thighs, once fit and healthy on Earth, grow ever weaker under the strain of Psyche’s fluctuating gravity.

Beside her, Amira continued steadily forward, her gun drawn. Her eyes flitted over every imagined shadow, the barrel of her pistol flicking out at every conceived noise. When they rounded a corner, Nessa hesitated, feigning the need to catch her breath. Amira gave her a cautious look, but crept onward at her weary thumbs up. Dread clawed its way from the pit of her stomach to her burning lungs as she watched Amira’s silhouette withdraw down the corridor. The absence of her pistol weighed heavily at her side.
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Kelsi 🍯💌 @dearkelsi.bsky.social · 02/02/2025
Today’s #WIPSnips is a fun one for me. From my science fiction/crime story, my primary antagonist’s mask finally shatters hehe #writesky
“I know,” he admitted plainly. The showmanship, the smoke and mirrors, the flair and panache were all gone now, stripped away to reveal the marrow of the man known as Machiavello. He looked smaller somehow, whittled down as he was. “I suppose we just can’t help ourselves.”
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Kelsi 🍯💌 @dearkelsi.bsky.social · 02/02/2025
Just watched Conclave… obsessed with that evil cardinal & his vape pen
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Kelsi 🍯💌 @dearkelsi.bsky.social · 30/01/2025
Coworker got a copy of this in the mail today and all of the attorneys on our team keep excitedly asking questions like “what does it say about pass-through indemnity rights? 😃” lol
A Manual of Style for Contract Drafting (Fifth Edition) by Kenneth A. Adams
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Kelsi 🍯💌 @dearkelsi.bsky.social · 30/01/2025
Really appreciate this one today because I realized I’m definitely overusing “down” 😰 Something new to work on! #WIPSnips #writesky
Specter growled, kicking one booted-foot against the door. As if mutinying against its captain, the Judgment’s security locks held firmly in place.

Nessa watched her go at it for some time, letting Specter take out her rage on the engineering room stronghold. After a few particularly vile curses aimed at Weissman, Feldman, and their respective parentages of questionable origin, her frustration gave way to fatigue. She slumped with Nessa on the floor of the ship, each of them held down by their magboots and a general air of hopelessness.
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Kelsi 🍯💌 @dearkelsi.bsky.social · 27/01/2025
Today’s #WIPSnips is a passage I wrestled with a lot, and I’m still not really happy with lol. Struggling to include necessary character background without infodumping 🤔 If anyone has any advice for how to do that well, I’d love to hear it! #writesky
She clicked her tongue in surprise, “A true fan, then.”

“Oh, yes.”

In her early twenties, she’d been a major player in the lunar racing circuit. Notorious for her bad attitude and willingness to take risks where more circumspect pilots wouldn’t, she’d cultivated a fanbase of rowdy shit-stirrers. Her revolving door of managers had been constantly refuting accusations that she condoned fighting at her races, which weren’t entirely meritless. Her whole shtick had been “go big or go home,” which encouraged fans to voice their opinions—loudly—and made bookies salivate whenever one of her races was on the calendar.

By the time the war broke out and racing was indefinitely suspended, she’d dropped to #2 on the Phobos-Deimos circuit, with no chance to make up her loss. Few people remembered a second place racer from twenty years ago, and she was more well-known for her other piloting exploits now, anyway.
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Kelsi 🍯💌 @dearkelsi.bsky.social · 25/01/2025
Today’s #WIPSnips involves my deuteragonist being less than thrilled to team up with my space pirate MC 😅 #writesky
“Our goals are the same: we kill Machiavello, then we go our separate ways. You don’t come for me, I won’t come for you. You have my word.”

	“Your word doesn’t mean much to me, to be honest,” Nessa sulked. The sensation of Specter’s knife at her throat was a few hours old at most. She could still feel it when she swallowed—that pointed edge puckering her flesh, daring her to try something stupid.
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Kelsi 🍯💌 @dearkelsi.bsky.social · 23/01/2025
Happy birthday! 🎂 I hope you feel better soon 🤧 First #WIPSnips in a while. I debated sharing since I don’t think this makes a ton of sense out of context, but enjoy some drunk girl in the club bathroom compliments 🥂 #writesky
Specter indulged the girl’s drunken encroachment into her personal space, letting Nessa teeter forward until their noses nearly touched. She admired Specter’s pupil-blown eye with the overfamiliarity found only in the heavily intoxicated, fawning over her with faint murmurs of girlish delight. A self-satisfied smile tugged at the corners of Specter’s lips. If Nessa Eliyahu realized who Specter was, she was doing a great job hiding it.

She wondered if that little bastard was around here somewhere, keeping a covert eye on Sheriff Eliyahu’s daughter like she’d ordered him to. He might have been too embarrassed to follow her into the women’s bathroom. If Nessa was out partying, she doubted the girl had noticed him trailing her. She made a mental note to demand a status update.
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Kelsi 🍯💌 @dearkelsi.bsky.social · 23/01/2025
If you went to college 1. what was your career goal when you started? 2. your initial major? 3. if you changed majors, what did you change to? 4. what do you do now? 1. Technical/grant writing 2. Professional Writing 3. Didn’t 😌 but then I went to law school lol 4. I’m a corporate lawyer 👩‍💼📜
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Kelsi 🍯💌 @dearkelsi.bsky.social · 17/01/2025
I haven’t posted any writing here in a while because I was focusing on finishing my first draft of my (still untitled) science fiction/crime story… v1 is finally complete omggg
Words: 94,975
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Kelsi 🍯💌 @dearkelsi.bsky.social · 03/01/2025
Currently in the diabolical grasp of those dark chocolate covered mini pretzels from Trader Joe’s
media.tenor.com
a close up of a person holding a microphone next to a cup .
ALT: a close up of a person holding a microphone next to a cup .
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Kelsi 🍯💌 @dearkelsi.bsky.social · 28/12/2024
Seeing Nosferatu in IMAX tonight
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Abigail Larson @abigaillarson.com · 26/07/2024
"A cruel love - strange love, that would have taken my life. Love will have its sacrifices. No sacrifice without blood."
A rough sketch based on the novel "Carmilla" featuring two young women in bed. One woman climbs over the other, lips brushing her neck. The scene is in shadow.
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Reposted by Kelsi 🍯💌
Chaucer Doth Tweet @levostregc.bsky.social · 21/12/2024
Ynterviewer: Kan you explayne thys gap yn your resume? Dante Alighieri: Yn the middle of thys journeye of lyfe Ich founde myselfe yn a shadowye woode, for...
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Kelsi 🍯💌 @dearkelsi.bsky.social · 24/12/2024
Forgot to turn my alarm off for this morning and woke up at 6:20am
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Kelsi 🍯💌 @dearkelsi.bsky.social · 17/12/2024
Bf is finally flying back from Australia tn 💓
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