iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

David R. Witanowski @davidrwitanowski.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

To be honest, I'm not certain how often I'm supposed to be plugging my books. I see social media as a place for brief announcements and quick, infrequent quips and/or reflections. That said, I am very proud about how House of Stars, House of Silence turned out, so here's another plug:

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David R. Witanowski @davidrwitanowski.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

Finally managed to track down a copy of the only D&D property I became a part of (if only in that I was the audiobook narrator of it), Christie Golden's The Enemy Within.

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David R. Witanowski @davidrwitanowski.bsky.social · 28/08/2026

Michael Pollan's Fight Club: "Eat fist. Not too much. Mostly mine."

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David R. Witanowski @davidrwitanowski.bsky.social · 26/08/2026

Cover reveal for my new novel, House of Stars, House of Silence, courtesy of SeventhStar Art!

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David R. Witanowski @davidrwitanowski.bsky.social · 06/08/2026

The Count Duckula intro didn't have to go as hard as it did, but here we are.

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David R. Witanowski @davidrwitanowski.bsky.social · 26/07/2026

Have we actually looked into Billy Joel's fire-starting background? Because I'm starting to wonder if the gentleman doth protest too much.

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David R. Witanowski @davidrwitanowski.bsky.social · 21/06/2026

I may not be a father but, you know what? I want my cake, Bedelia. Where's my cake?

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David R. Witanowski @davidrwitanowski.bsky.social · 28/05/2026

I still remember being assigned A Tale of Two Cities in high school and struggling to get through Knitting, only to turn the page and learn that the next chapter was called Still Knitting.

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David R. Witanowski @davidrwitanowski.bsky.social · 11/05/2026

Finished the first draft of my eighth novel, The Dead Never Sleep. Fantasy Noir in a late iron age setting. #StayTuned

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David R. Witanowski @davidrwitanowski.bsky.social · 26/04/2026

Xanthan Gum: Because the folks in marketing didn't think 'Bacterium Slime' would be a good name for a food additive.

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David R. Witanowski @davidrwitanowski.bsky.social · 18/04/2026

Dear wildly gesticulating man in the car behind me: I didn't write the rules regarding coming to a complete stop at stop signs. I just obey them.

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David R. Witanowski @davidrwitanowski.bsky.social · 15/04/2026

Okay, Rockstar, Arthur Morgan gunning down over a thousand people in cold blood just because they belong to a rival gang is okay? But checking to see if a shriveled corpse in a cave has anything valuable on it and suddenly, whoa, that's a bridge too far?

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David R. Witanowski @davidrwitanowski.bsky.social · 08/04/2026

I really wish people would stop using the phrase, "It's for kids" to excuse lackluster media. "This food is terrible, and lacks nutrition!" "It's for kids." "This building is unstable and dangerous!" "It's for kids." "This bicycle is made out of bees!" "Kids, dummy! Kids!"

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David R. Witanowski @davidrwitanowski.bsky.social · 08/04/2026

I'd like to see at least one horror movie where a kangaroo is utilized during a jump scare.

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David R. Witanowski @davidrwitanowski.bsky.social · 27/03/2026

No offense to Miko Hughes, but there's way too much Dylan in Wes Craven's New Nightmare.

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David R. Witanowski @davidrwitanowski.bsky.social · 26/03/2026

Did you know? You swallow eight spiders every year someone has tied you down and is force-feeding you spiders.

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David R. Witanowski @davidrwitanowski.bsky.social · 25/03/2026

The DMV: Prove that you are who you say you are. Me: Here's the license *you* issued me 8 years ago, a current U.S. passport, and my actual social security card. DMV: We're going to need to see an electricity bill, just to be sure. And a piece of junk mail with your name on it.

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David R. Witanowski @davidrwitanowski.bsky.social · 19/03/2026

"Where do you see yourself in five years?" "Brazil. The jungle. Insects whir and scurry. A bird cries out, almost human. Three days since the last village. A twig snaps. Then silence. Has the hunter become the hunted?" "Welcome to the Banana Republic team."

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David R. Witanowski @davidrwitanowski.bsky.social · 17/03/2026

Sometimes you have to stop beating yourself up about your creative endeavors and say, hey, my efforts are occasionally clumsy, but they're not weird freeze-frame Harry Potter at the end of Prisoner of Azkaban clumsy.

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David R. Witanowski @davidrwitanowski.bsky.social · 17/03/2026

D&D playing Pablo Picasso mostly remembered for his gelatinous cubist period.

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David R. Witanowski @davidrwitanowski.bsky.social · 16/03/2026

Based on the first twenty minutes, The Phantom of the Opera is about a longtime employee refusing to work under hazardous work conditions being immediately replaced by a scab that management has the hots for.

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David R. Witanowski @davidrwitanowski.bsky.social · 15/03/2026

When I was a kid watching The Nutcracker for the first time, I was like, wow, this show has a multi-headed Rat King in it! Then he was dispatched. l've never seen the rest of it.

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David R. Witanowski @davidrwitanowski.bsky.social · 13/03/2026

Babies Should Be Sprinkled with Diamond Dust Every New Moon, Study Finds.

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David R. Witanowski @davidrwitanowski.bsky.social · 12/03/2026

I feel like all of the YA novels I read as kid fell into one of the following categories: Protagonist runs away from home / befriends a sad older person / has their best friend or pet(s) die. Sometimes all three.

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David R. Witanowski @davidrwitanowski.bsky.social · 12/03/2026

I'd really like to see a version of Hamlet where Yorick's skull starts cackling like Skeletor for absolutely no good reason. #IKnewHimOhShit

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David R. Witanowski @davidrwitanowski.bsky.social · 11/03/2026

3rd Level Elf Ranger disappointed to learn that 'grappled' is on the list of preexisting conditions.

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David R. Witanowski @davidrwitanowski.bsky.social · 10/03/2026

Racist push-up bra lifts and segregates.

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David R. Witanowski @davidrwitanowski.bsky.social · 09/03/2026

When I was growing up society told me that I should follow my dreams, which is how I spent most of my 20's as an unsuccessful pterodactyl.

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David R. Witanowski @davidrwitanowski.bsky.social · 09/03/2026

Look, I know that Samuel Gompers founded the AFL, but whenever I hear his name I can't help but think that he was one of Willy Wonka's rivals.

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David R. Witanowski @davidrwitanowski.bsky.social · 08/03/2026

The World is your oyster. Slimy. Alive. Sometimes there's a pearl inside of it.

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David R. Witanowski @davidrwitanowski.bsky.social · 07/03/2026

Is this a dagger I see before me? But, seriously, is it? Has anyone lost a dagger? It's dangerous to lose hovering daggers, people.

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David R. Witanowski @davidrwitanowski.bsky.social · 05/03/2026

Kleptomaniacs tend to take things literally.

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David R. Witanowski @davidrwitanowski.bsky.social · 05/03/2026

"My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic" - You know, for a group whose friendship is essentially the only thing holding back Horse-Cthulhu on a regular basis, they don't seem like they get along that well.

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David R. Witanowski @davidrwitanowski.bsky.social · 01/03/2026

Art Patron: "So, The Torment of Mezentius. Can we make it sexy?" Louis Janmot: "What is it, again? The torment, I mean." Art Patron: "Being tied to a decomposing corpse and left for dead." Louis Janmot: "Hmmm... Can the corpse be a lady?" Art Patron: "I don't see why not."

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David R. Witanowski @davidrwitanowski.bsky.social · 01/03/2026

Skeletons: Often loved for their inner beauty.

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David R. Witanowski @davidrwitanowski.bsky.social · 28/02/2026

When life gives you cannons, make cannonade.

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David R. Witanowski @davidrwitanowski.bsky.social · 23/02/2026

Share a TV show that raised you. Mendoza is what happens when Han Solo and Aragorn are somehow the same person.

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David R. Witanowski @davidrwitanowski.bsky.social · 16/02/2026

A Backlogged Letter from Starfleet HR to Keiko O’Brien Dear Ms. O’Brien, we regret to inform you that: Your husband has released a virus from a food replicator and now has aphasia.

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David R. Witanowski @davidrwitanowski.bsky.social · 07/02/2026

'Exactly how much O'Brien can we expect from this episode of DS9?' 'Miles O'Brien.'

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David R. Witanowski @davidrwitanowski.bsky.social · 31/01/2026

And Count Strahd von Zarovich, who did NOT die

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David R. Witanowski @davidrwitanowski.bsky.social · 19/01/2026

Me: Hey body, we've got an early morning tomorrow. I'm going to turn in early so we can make up for it. Let's work together on this, okay? My Body: NO.

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David R. Witanowski @davidrwitanowski.bsky.social · 15/01/2026

Is there a portfolio day for authors? Like, we all drop our best sentences or something?

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David R. Witanowski @davidrwitanowski.bsky.social · 28/12/2025

City built on rock and roll has serious housing issues, a high unemployment rate, and inefficient public transit.

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David R. Witanowski @davidrwitanowski.bsky.social · 25/12/2025

You've heard of Elf on the Shelf, now get ready for the heat death of the universe.

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David R. Witanowski @davidrwitanowski.bsky.social · 18/12/2025

I was kind of expecting the Maze Runner movies to have more mazes in them. And, to be honest, more running.

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David R. Witanowski @davidrwitanowski.bsky.social · 01/12/2025

You know, for all the fuss Mary Poppins made over feeding the birds, that Bird Woman never did get her tuppence.

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