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Darknato ™

@darkoki.bsky.social
305 followers 2.6K following 231 posts

Nature, travel, science, coffee, human rights, biomedical scientist, haematology, product management, marketing, AI, data analysis. But mostly sarcastic comments.

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Darknato ™ @darkoki.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
My health data told me I was burning 3,100 kcal a day. Spoiler: I wasn't. Turns out, my AI pipeline was adding two watches together. I wrote about how I accidentally created the 3,100-calorie man.
darkokirincicdossantos.substack.com
The 3,100 Calorie Man
My pipeline computed a resting metabolic rate no 67 kg man has ever had. Nothing had malfunctioned. I had summed two devices that each report a whole day.
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Darknato ™ @darkoki.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
People still peopling at the gate like it’s their first day on Earth. Boarding starts, and suddenly everyone forgets how queues, numbers, luggage, and basic human civilisation work.
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Darknato ™ @darkoki.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Went for a late evening walk to clear my head. It was dark, cold and completely unnecessary. Naturally, I found a mushroom. At this point, I think they’re waiting for me. 🍄
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Darknato ™ @darkoki.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
A few months ago, I went for walks to clear my head and improve my health. Now I go for walks to monitor the mushroom situation. Personal growth is mysterious. 🍄
bright orange mushroom peeking out from a leaf covered forest floor. some green leaves of green blackberries in the background. mushroom protruding through the soil, still not above the level as it is pulling leaves with it.
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Darknato ™ @darkoki.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
A few months ago, analysing my health data meant chopping up a huge Apple Health export so Claude could digest it. Then Cowork let me use the whole file. Then freddy let Claude query the data directly. My analysis evolved with the tools.
darkokirincicdossantos.substack.com
Start Here
I decided not to turn fifty obese. Then I made every mistake available.
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Darknato ™ @darkoki.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
And just like that, my number of Substack subscribers grew by 100%. I genuinely wasn’t expecting this kind of growth. There are now two of you. The media may call this momentum. I call it statistically significant.
darkokirincicdossantos.substack.com
The Case for Two Apple Watches
I thought I was tracking my resting energy. Twenty per cent of my days were incomplete.
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Darknato ™ @darkoki.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
- Apparently even the forest has a sense of humour. - The woodland really needs to calm down with the symbolism. - I came here for fresh air, not a botanical d#ck joke. (am I allowed to say d-word on here?)
phallic shaped mushroom with dark brown head. body of the mushroom is lighter with brown specs. grows on autumn leafy forest floor. perfect d#ck joke shape of mushroom.
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Darknato ™ @darkoki.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
At this point, I’m not really going for walks anymore. I’m conducting extremely important field research into why mushrooms keep appearing in increasingly ridiculous shapes. Today’s findings: absolutely no idea. But look at this little bastard. 🍄
unusual cup-like bunch of mushrooms on forest floor. mushrooms are light brown almost cream colour, irregular cup like shaped and organised in two bunches. there is around 15 mushrooms in those two bunches together. forest floor is dead leaves and branches.
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Darknato ™ @darkoki.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Went for a walk and found an orange mushroom sticking its little tentacles out of the ground. Either the forest is growing mushrooms or something underneath is finally trying to escape. I chose not to ask questions. 🍄
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Darknato ™ @darkoki.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
I went for a walk and found a tiny mushroom hiding beneath the leaves. For a moment, I genuinely wondered if I’d wandered into a fairy tale and disturbed someone’s cottage. Nature has excellent special effects. 🍄✨
White mushroom with whiteish specs on a forest ground, surrounded by brown autumn leaves. a spec of light appearing on the left.
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Darknato ™ @darkoki.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
I could be shamelessly promoting my Substack. But apparently my new lifestyle means I take more walks, and autumn walks mean mushrooms. So instead: OMG LOOK AT THIS LITTLE GUY. 🍄 This is my content strategy now.
image of a small stubby mushroom on a woodland floor covered with moss and occasional dry brown leaf. mushroom has a brown cap and a tiny bite mark left by an insect (or a fairy)
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Darknato ™ @darkoki.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Manual journalling? No thanks. If it can’t be measured, quantified, graphed, compared, and unnecessarily overanalysed, did it even happen? My feelings will need a spreadsheet.
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Darknato ™ @darkoki.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Found a mushroom so beautiful I couldn’t possibly eat it. So naturally, I licked it a little. Nature is basically a series of decisions I should not be trusted to make.
Red mushroom with white specs in the centre. It is well known poisonous amanita mushroom, growing on the forest floor, with some leaves and plants in the background.
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Darknato ™ @darkoki.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
“I don’t want to diet because I’ll slow down my metabolism, and then my body won’t function properly.” Good news: you can track your metabolism now, so you no longer have to manage it based on vibes and 2012 Facebook wisdom. Read how to track your slowing down metabolism here:
darkokirincicdossantos.substack.com
The Case for Two Apple Watches
I thought I was tracking my resting energy. Twenty per cent of my days were incomplete.
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Darknato ™ @darkoki.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
People who box an invisible opponent at the gym: Mate, nobody is there. You’re shadowboxing so aggressively you’ve started looking like you’re fighting your own demons. Everyone else is just trying to finish their squats without getting involved.
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Darknato ™ @darkoki.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Look what I encountered on my walk in the woods. 🍄 I assume a fairy lives here. Or a very tiny landlord with questionable taste in real estate.
Tiny braun mushroom with white specs all over it. Mushroom is on the forest soil, next to yellow autumn tree leaves.
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Darknato ™ @darkoki.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
20.2% of my Apple Watch days were missing hours. Each charge cut a block out of the day and resting energy came out short, with no flag. I spent weeks explaining those dips as physiology. The explanation was a charging cable. darkokirincicdossantos.substack.com/p/the-case-f...
darkokirincicdossantos.substack.com
The Case for Two Apple Watches
I thought I was tracking my resting energy. Twenty per cent of my days were incomplete.
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Darknato ™ @darkoki.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
A heartfelt thank you to all my Substack subscriber, reader and follower. . Your support means the world to me. All one of you.
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Darknato ™ @darkoki.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Check your resting energy in the Apple Health app and switch to the monthly view. If your chart looks like the one below, this Substack is for you: The Case for Two Apple Watches substack.com/@darkokirinc...
substack.com
The Case for Two Apple Watches
I thought I was tracking my resting energy. Twenty per cent of my days were incomplete.
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Darknato ™ @darkoki.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Today is my monthly tradition: replying to all the LinkedIn cold messages I’ve ignored. Fortunately, AI can now politely say “no” to 37 strangers without me having to experience a single human emotion. Productivity. 🚀
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Darknato ™ @darkoki.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
Startup idea: LinkedOut. Same layout as LinkedIn, but nobody is thrilled to announce anything. Every post opens with "I am no longer at" and closes with the actual reason. "Excited for the next chapter" becomes "we were a family, which is how they explained the unpaid overtime”
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Darknato ™ @darkoki.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
“My values consistently conflict with what is required to succeed.” That may be the best way to describe why someone leaves a toxic environment. If the only way to advance is to behave in ways that violate your integrity, you are not failing to fit in. You are simply in the wrong organisation.
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Darknato ™ @darkoki.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
Apparently, there’s a serious risk that AI will kill humanity within the next 10 years. Based on some of the responses Claude has been giving me lately, I think humanity will get there first by laughing itself to death at the sheer stupidity. The machines may not need to destroy us after all. 😂
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Darknato ™ @darkoki.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
On my daily walk today, I seem to have taken a wrong turn and bumped into a fairy village. 🍄✨ Nobody was home, which is probably for the best. I wasn’t dressed appropriately for diplomatic relations with woodland creatures.
leafy forrest ground where whimsical mushrooms stick above the leaves. there is a bunch of over 30 mushrooms spread in the center of the photo, resembling a village where fairies live.
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Darknato ™ @darkoki.bsky.social · 06/09/2026
I correct AI more than AI corrects me.
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Darknato ™ @darkoki.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
Darko Kirincic Dos Santos darkokirincicdossantos.substack.com?r=5aa01w&utm...
darkokirincicdossantos.substack.com
Darko Kirincic Dos Santos | Substack
What I got wrong tracking my own health data, and how I found out. Click to read Darko Kirincic Dos Santos on Substack. Launched 12 minutes ago.
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Darknato ™ @darkoki.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
darkokirincicdossantos.substack.com
Start Here
I decided not to turn fifty obese. Then I made every mistake available.
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Darknato ™ @darkoki.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
Somewhere along the way, “open the app and do the thing” became: 🎮 earn XP 🏆 unlock badges 🔥 maintain your streak 👥 follow strangers ❤️ like their achievements 📣 join the community Sir, I just wanted to log my fucking workout.
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Darknato ™ @darkoki.bsky.social · 05/08/2026
Fashion law is actually very straightforward: Black shoes = black ankle socks. White/light shoes = white ankle socks. I'm not saying you'll get arrested otherwise... but why risk it?
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Darknato ™ @darkoki.bsky.social · 25/07/2026
Meta finally shipped a feature that’s good for my mental health. The moment Facebook forces me to watch a timed ad before I can keep scrolling, I close the app. Thanks for curing my doomscrolling addiction, one unskippable ad at a time.
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Darknato ™ @darkoki.bsky.social · 22/07/2026
I'm looking for the most interesting AI applications in laboratory haematology. Research papers, case studies, startups, product launches, workflow hacks, or "we actually deployed this" stories. Drop your links in the comments. Let's build a great reading list. 🩸🤖
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Darknato ™ @darkoki.bsky.social · 19/07/2026
I separated the plastic lid, recycled the bottle, and carried a reusable bag. Then I opened the news and saw oil depots burning and cities covered in smoke. My yoghurt pot is putting in an heroic shift.
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Reposted by Darknato ™
Brett Shaw @brettshaw.bsky.social · 19/07/2026
He is PERFECT ... #Jimothy
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Darknato ™ @darkoki.bsky.social · 18/07/2026
HELP needed from anyone who reads this: I just discovered Muted words and tags on bluesky (I know, my bad). For now I have blocked: Trump, Hegseth, POTUS and midterm. Please suggest other words that would keep me isolated from anything going on in America. Thank you
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Darknato ™ @darkoki.bsky.social · 16/07/2026
Four people from the same market research agency sent me the same message. I copy-pasted my reply. They came back, so I copy-pasted again. Doing the same thing and expecting a different result? That's called stupidity. The missing piece: a real project matching my expertise and budget.
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Darknato ™ @darkoki.bsky.social · 16/07/2026
I've stopped completing screening forms until market research agencies confirm three things: a real project, a match with my expertise, and a realistic budget. Fascinating how many "paid studies" vanish when the conversation moves from collecting profiles to paying for expertise.
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Darknato ™ @darkoki.bsky.social · 15/07/2026
A market research agency sends me an AI-written invite to "participate in research." I reply with an AI-written response too, plus my consulting rate. Funny enough, the genuine ones come back with a human-written reply. The others vanish into the algorithm.
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Darknato ™ @darkoki.bsky.social · 15/07/2026
This post aged beautifully. Bryan Johnson now has autoimmune gastritis. Turns out you can optimise sleep, VO₂max and skin age... but your immune system may still decide to freestyle. Imagine optimising everything for years, only for your immune system to go, "Thanks for the spreadsheet. Anyway..."
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Darknato ™ @darkoki.bsky.social · 14/07/2026
Claude APIs are the printer drivers of the AI era. Remember hunting the right driver, installing it, watching it randomly break... while Macs just printed? Now printers auto-detect themselves. Dear AI: you're supposedly the intelligent one. Figure out your own API and get on with it.
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Darknato ™ @darkoki.bsky.social · 10/07/2026
Why does every app have its own social network these days? I joined Hevy to log workouts. Instead, I learned BigBen from my gym deadlifts 220kg. He looks like he eats iron for breakfast, has enough testosterone for a village, and is a professional grunter. I just wanted to track squats.
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Darknato ™ @darkoki.bsky.social · 09/05/2026
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Darknato ™ @darkoki.bsky.social · 12/04/2026
Scientists built neurobots with nervous systems. Great. We finally gave perfectly functional nanobots the ability to get nervous… maybe even neurotic. Next step: robots overthinking emails, needing reassurance, and burning out by Wednesday. We didn’t upgrade machines. We introduced them to decline.
the-scientist.com
Neurobots: Biological Robots with A Simple Nervous System | The Scientist
A new study demonstrated that introducing neurons into Xenopus-derived biobots led to the self-organization of active neural circuits and complex behavior.
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Darknato ™ @darkoki.bsky.social · 27/03/2026
In my previous job, I had so many eye-service colleagues. Wish I’d known the term back then… could have saved myself a lot of polite nodding and quiet confusion. Better late than never 😂
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Darknato ™ @darkoki.bsky.social · 15/12/2025
Scientists:”This rare moth was extinct for 50 years.” Me, looking at the identical moths in my apartment every summer: ”You sure about that?” www.theguardian.com/environment/...
theguardian.com
Rare moth found in Norfolk village 50 years after becoming ‘extinct’ in Britain
Enthusiasts discovered Norfolk snout, thought to have died out in the UK in 1971, in their garden
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Darknato ™ @darkoki.bsky.social · 07/12/2025
Why is basic grammar on Facebook still a challenge? No space before punctuation, one space after punctuation, it’s not rocket science. Yet here we are… every. single. day.
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Darknato ™ @darkoki.bsky.social · 06/12/2025
Whoever started the trend of writing essays on facebook posts needs to stop. I’m not reading all that, and you’re ruining my smooth scrolling rhythm. My thumb did not sign up for cardio.
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Darknato ™ @darkoki.bsky.social · 08/07/2025
Went to see the doctor today. He said I need meds for at least 6 weeks. Asked me where I’m going. I said: Papua New Guinea, Philippines, Croatia, Indonesia, and Mexico. In that order. He just blinked. .
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Darknato ™ @darkoki.bsky.social · 08/07/2025
Apparently everyone on LinkedIn is thrilled and excited all the time. New job? Thrilled. Left old job? Excited. Took a nap? Beyond proud. I’ve never seen that much excitement in real life, except maybe from ChatGPT. Must be nice to live in a world of endless enthusiasm.
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Darknato ™ @darkoki.bsky.social · 29/06/2025
This work made me think for some time. And the question I have is: if violence leaves generational scars in our DNA, what are the markers of peace? And how do we reverse the scars? How do we measure that? So many questions. Your thoughts?
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Darknato ™ @darkoki.bsky.social · 29/06/2025
One day Bryan Johnson will die peacefully at a very average age, like a completely average man, but with the glowing skin of a sentient ring light and a face that says: “I’m still tracking my REM sleep, are you?” 😐 #longevity #lifegoals #oops
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