iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Darkness Hayz @darknesshayz.bsky.social · 05/04/2026

I’m gonna take my brother out on a sibling date, a week after next, treat him to the new Mario movie, than let him loose in the arcade part of Hollywood Bowl. Treat him to a sibling date to remember.

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Darkness Hayz @darknesshayz.bsky.social · 11/03/2026

It’s been a year since I e posted on Twitter. I have gone on it, just to read tweets from a dear friend who died. Do I feel better for it - yes. I don’t post, I just lurk 🙈

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Darkness Hayz @darknesshayz.bsky.social · 11/03/2026

I wish at end of the year Apple Music would tell you the most listened to language…. I know mine would be English, but Finnish would come in second…. As I’m addicted to this banger of a track (I have it on repeat tbh)

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Darkness Hayz @darknesshayz.bsky.social · 09/03/2026

I don’t normally do AI, I don’t like it. However, I was messing around with a music element of it, and wanted to know what one of my poems sounded like if I had a band. Let’s say it sounded awesome. Than I deleted the app as I don’t want AI in my life more than what is nessacary.

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Darkness Hayz @darknesshayz.bsky.social · 27/02/2026

I can’t say im disappointed. I am. But it’s okay, honestly it’s fine. As long as I don’t cry and keep it to myself.

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Darkness Hayz @darknesshayz.bsky.social · 27/02/2026

Unlocked my phone and looked at old iCloud Photos….. I miss that woman in the photos. It was like viewing someone else’s life that isn’t yours.

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Darkness Hayz @darknesshayz.bsky.social · 26/02/2026

A few weeks ago I rang the end of treatment bell for the second time. I wish the first time in 2024 was enough.

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Darkness Hayz @darknesshayz.bsky.social · 23/02/2026

I love how me and my dad’s late night texts go from Women’s football to Finland to Michael Sheen. No wonder my mind is random 😂

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Darkness Hayz @darknesshayz.bsky.social · 23/02/2026

Radom fact from when I was a teenager. My Welsh teacher in school, used to teach Ioan Gruffudd before she moved to the old girls school I was in, and when she saw he was in Titanic (as well as she felt so proud to have taught him and she couldn’t wait to see what he’d achieve.

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Darkness Hayz @darknesshayz.bsky.social · 22/02/2026

My parrot doesn’t like Donald Trump. He goes right into a caique rant, and you own a birb than you know what does rants sounds like. So I learnt this over the weekend. F my caique don’t like you, I don’t like you and animas are good judges of character.

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Darkness Hayz @darknesshayz.bsky.social · 15/02/2026

I love taking photos of Mr. Flibble.

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Darkness Hayz @darknesshayz.bsky.social · 15/02/2026

That feeling when you realise you never mattered to them, the way they did for you. I wish you all the best though. I loved you like a sister, even though you were my step sister (even though our parents go divorced). I guess I need to move forward, and come to terms with this.

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Darkness Hayz @darknesshayz.bsky.social · 06/02/2026

Broke down in tears in the review meeting. They want me to speak to someone about how to deal with emotions around my terminal diagnosis. I’m trying to keep myself together, but it’s so hard.

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Darkness Hayz @darknesshayz.bsky.social · 06/02/2026

Oh I need to speak to the mental health team tomorrow. How do I tell them im scared of the inevitable? Terminal cancer fucking sucks. It’s really messing with my head and emotions.

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Darkness Hayz @darknesshayz.bsky.social · 02/02/2026

Mum *watching Silent Witness on iPlayer*: “he [Jake] looks good in a polo neck” Me: “yeah, Jub….. oh wait wrong show, that’s FBI” Like how could I get two characters from two different shows, in two different continents mixed up? #SilentWitness #FBI

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Darkness Hayz @darknesshayz.bsky.social · 02/02/2026

I’ve been watching a lot of vertical dramas. Damn some are heartbreaking. One had my sobbing, as it felt like a part hit home too much for me. It was a good vertical and I did enjoy it (sobbing an all). Just when I’m at hospital verticals have became my safe haven.

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Darkness Hayz @darknesshayz.bsky.social · 16/01/2026

I’ve sent my uncle something from The Traitors store…. A letter saying “by order of the traitors you have been murdered”, and haven’t put whom it’s from, so he has to work out who it was….. Totally traitors style. #traitors

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Darkness Hayz @darknesshayz.bsky.social · 11/01/2026

10 years ago I last saw you. 8 years ago, I didn’t even get to say a final goodbye. I treated you coldly on Christmas Day 2016, I never thought Tay would be the last time we’d see each other. I beat myself up over this a lot, I know you’d not want me to feel like that, but I do.

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Darkness Hayz @darknesshayz.bsky.social · 22/12/2025

My baby bro has been watching The Boys, me and elder bro Christopher was talking about it. Now it’s got to be a good show if three of us watch it.

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Darkness Hayz @darknesshayz.bsky.social · 22/12/2025

Radio Rock Lite (Finnish station) is playing some great tracks, some I had forgotten about. But nothing is more satisfying than hearing The Rasmus or Poets of the Fall being played 🥰. Plus, I’ve discovered some new bands (well not new to most, new to me).

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Darkness Hayz @darknesshayz.bsky.social · 19/12/2025

So, I had a phone call today, that made me doubt if I had my blood transfusion on Tuesday which I did. They wanted to book me in because I on their system I haven’t had it yet. I said to the guy “I remember going as I saw Santa, Minnie and Mickey. I didn’t imagine that”. Which I did.

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Darkness Hayz @darknesshayz.bsky.social · 19/12/2025

Poets of the Fall with @vampirebloom.bsky.social next year in September. I am looking forward it so much. Feels ages since we saw them last time. Code name 🙈🙈🙈 Hel-Don-Ham.

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Darkness Hayz @darknesshayz.bsky.social · 19/12/2025

@cocotheparrot.bsky.social thank you for the card. It made me smile 🥰. Sending lots of love and light to you all 💜

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Darkness Hayz @darknesshayz.bsky.social · 16/12/2025

When Lauri came on stage with the Welsh flag I gave him, made my life. Than when he wrapped it around him for Not Like the Other Girls I burst into tears. It was an emotional moment, especially if you know how much the song means to me.

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Darkness Hayz @darknesshayz.bsky.social · 16/12/2025

Having a blood transfusion in about 12 hours. I would like to thank the person for giving this lil Welsh stranger the greatest of gift for Christmas. Peace, love and light to you and your family. I’ll never know whom you are, but I will never forget what you given me.

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Darkness Hayz @darknesshayz.bsky.social · 14/11/2025

Cancer consultant said he’ll look into me donating my body for medical research. I said to him “I can’t donate blood, or organs. The NHS has done so much for me my whole life, and I want to give something back”…. I’ve had a long hard think about this. It’s something I want to do.

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Darkness Hayz @darknesshayz.bsky.social · 12/11/2025

I just got emotional. I sent dad a message about Euro 2028 and how we should go to the opening game in Wales. Than a taught hit me, why am I planning for something in advance when I don’t know if I’ll be here. As my long term prognosis is poor #fuckyoucancer

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Darkness Hayz @darknesshayz.bsky.social · 07/10/2025

Writing a note to my soon to be ex consultant, is very emotional. I i dot want to say goodbye, I’m not ready. Yes, I do get attached to people emotionally. It’s just he was honest of this shity storm of cancer and that moment I just knew. I’m gonna miss seeing him.

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Darkness Hayz @darknesshayz.bsky.social · 17/09/2025

Family and non bloody family, I owe you so much love. Making my Finland trip happen, you are all making a younger me dreams come true. Especially @vampirebloom.bsky.social, my mum and my dad (as well as others).. thank you and I love you.

true.id

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Darkness Hayz @darknesshayz.bsky.social · 11/09/2025

Fuck with my family, I’ll fuck with you. A family member is in an awkward situation, and I dunno how to deal with it. The police needs to be involved, but family member doesn’t want to get the police involved, and I dunno where the go from there.

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Darkness Hayz @darknesshayz.bsky.social · 08/09/2025

So up to date news regarding my new biopsy result, the MRI result, and the sad news of my cancer returning.

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Darkness Hayz @darknesshayz.bsky.social · 08/09/2025

I never knew that my town had such a really dark past. I was only looking at my family tree, intrigued what dads street was called back in 1888, and than I uncovered a dark past of the town I live in. It’s really blown my mind 🤯

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Darkness Hayz @darknesshayz.bsky.social · 02/09/2025

When you’re up late and you and your dad just have a random conversion….. If I can make him smile than it’s worthy of a good job. DX is Destination X that we’d watch each week and really enjoyed.

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Darkness Hayz @darknesshayz.bsky.social · 28/08/2025

When The Rasmus’ song Sky hits you in a different way to before. Especially after yesterday’s news I had, that I’m still trying to process.

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Darkness Hayz @darknesshayz.bsky.social · 17/08/2025

It was my birthday yesterday, I had a great day. My life has been a wild ride so far. Up and downs. The one thing I regret, is a choice I made in 2002. A choice I will life with until my dying days. Though the what ifs, trouble my mind on daily basis.

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Darkness Hayz @darknesshayz.bsky.social · 02/08/2025

I have a freaking Westlife song in my head…. It’s this song youtu.be/UK3um0k0vN8?... I haven’t listened to them, this song or even this album in a while, so not sure why it’s suddenly in my head.

youtu.be

Westlife - Moments (Official Audio)

YouTube video by westlifeVEVO

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Darkness Hayz @darknesshayz.bsky.social · 21/07/2025

Still can’t believe in under three months I’ll be in Finland. I’ve waited such a long time, since 1996. So, nearly 30 years, it’s been a long wait.

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Darkness Hayz @darknesshayz.bsky.social · 20/07/2025

Waiting for results suck. It’s been four weeks, and feels like it’s been a year. I’m not sure how I am going to cope if the results are bad. I’m focusing on my adventures with @vampirebloom.bsky.social, and that’s helping massively, and I can’t wait for that.

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Darkness Hayz @darknesshayz.bsky.social · 07/07/2025

So I’m doing my family tree, and read about what happened to my great grand uncle Richard in the war, it’s really said. Go to Private Richard Hayne. I’m so proud of him and also his fellow soldiers. You, sir will forever be remembered.

barrywarmuseum.co.uk

June 1917

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Darkness Hayz @darknesshayz.bsky.social · 16/06/2025

So, the latest MRI has shown a slight growth of a mass. They need to do another biopsy to assess what it is. I know deep down what it is, and I’m just reliving emotions from 2023 all over again. Im struggling to contain everything in front of family. I have a mask on where I play pretend 1/3

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Darkness Hayz @darknesshayz.bsky.social · 10/06/2025

Think I’m going to just emerse myself into some vertical dramas on ReelShort or some vertical app. I need to switch off and escape for a bit.

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Darkness Hayz @darknesshayz.bsky.social · 10/06/2025

I’m so anxious for Thursday and being called in to see the ENT consultant. It’s really unnerving me as he doesn’t do Thursday clinic, he’s in theatre on that day. So he’s fitting me in before he heads of the the OR. It’s sent my anxious worm into some kind of melt down.

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Reposted by Darkness Hayz

Kamala Harris @kamalaharris.com · 09/06/2025

My statement on what's unfolding in Los Angeles.

A statement from Kamala D. Harris:

Los Angeles is my home. And like so many Americans, I am appalled at what we are witnessing on the streets of our city. Deploying the National Guard is a dangerous escalation meant to provoke chaos. In addition to the recent ICE raids in Southern California and across our nation, it is part of the Trump Administration’s cruel, calculated agenda to spread panic and division.

This Administration’s actions are not about public safety —they’re about stoking fear. Fear of a community demanding dignity and due process.

Protest is a powerful tool — essential in the fight for justice. And as the LAPD, Mayor, and Governor have noted, demonstrations in defense of our immigrant neighbors have been overwhelmingly peaceful.

I continue to support the millions of Americans who are standing up to protect our most fundamental rights and freedoms.

480124193581

Darkness Hayz @darknesshayz.bsky.social · 08/06/2025

Looked at my ancestors records from 1921, and read about Lovasise. I got to othanhood and my heart just went 😭, when I read “mother dead”. That’s just so tragic. A six year old, losing her mum at that age 😭😭😭😭

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Darkness Hayz @darknesshayz.bsky.social · 08/06/2025

Emotional abuse comes in all forms. Toxic behaviour comes in all forms. Just a shame when it comes from family.

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Darkness Hayz @darknesshayz.bsky.social · 05/06/2025

The ENT consultant wants to see me next week and I’m having a major freak out here…. I am meant to see him in August, not two months before.

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Darkness Hayz @darknesshayz.bsky.social · 24/05/2025

Broke my ankle, with a high ankle fracture, a few weeks ago. I hate the recovery process, it’s going so slooooooooooo. I’ve had an operation on to add pins and plates - great fun. I have to wear a moon boot for the next three weeks. Can’t wait to put weight on foot again.

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Darkness Hayz @darknesshayz.bsky.social · 24/05/2025

I think my dad is discovering I know a lot about Finnish tennis players than I do British tennis players 🙈.

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Darkness Hayz @darknesshayz.bsky.social · 17/04/2025

I love it when I work hard on something, and than it gets chucked up in my face how I don’t do anything. One way to crush my self esteem, thanks for that.

media.tenor.com

a woman with purple hair says her confidence is shattered

ALT: a woman with purple hair says her confidence is shattered

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Darkness Hayz @darknesshayz.bsky.social · 10/04/2025

Would it be weird if I ask my ENT consultant to sign the photo of me and him? I want to frame it, because he played a massive part in my cancer journey, and I want to smile whenever I look at it, and be even more thankful everyday.

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