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Dark Helmet

@darkhelmetsb.bsky.social
241 followers 61 following 3.1K posts

Dark Helmet, Lord of the Schwartz, Leader of the Imperious Forces of the Spaceballs. Coffee and radar enthusiast. Parody/semi-RP comedy. Crosses the streams mercilessly.

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Dark Helmet @darkhelmetsb.bsky.social · 13h
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Dark Helmet @darkhelmetsb.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
The executions will continue until morale improves.
Dark Helmet Schwartzes a guy.
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Dark Helmet @darkhelmetsb.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
The Caitian ambassador after a catnip bender.
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Dark Helmet @darkhelmetsb.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Oh, no. Not again. Colonel Sandurz, do you know what this will do to our insurance rates?
Megamaid explodes.
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Dark Helmet @darkhelmetsb.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
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Dark Helmet @darkhelmetsb.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
The dumpster, it is on fire.
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Dark Helmet @darkhelmetsb.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
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Dark Helmet @darkhelmetsb.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
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Dark Helmet @darkhelmetsb.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
GOODBYE DAVE
Megamaid explodes
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Dark Helmet @darkhelmetsb.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Gone to plaid
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Dark Helmet @darkhelmetsb.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Ludicrous speed drinking- GO!
Ludicrous speed!
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Dark Helmet @darkhelmetsb.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
All I wanted was a sandwich.
Megamaid explodes
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Dark Helmet @darkhelmetsb.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
GOODBYE DAVE
Megamaid explodes
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Dark Helmet @darkhelmetsb.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
The executions will continue until morale improves.
Dark Helmet Schwartzes a guy
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Dark Helmet @darkhelmetsb.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
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Dark Helmet @darkhelmetsb.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Drop some BUTTONS. Well, only one matters.
The big red self-destruct button. Don't push unless you really mean it.
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Dark Helmet @darkhelmetsb.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
All I wanted was a sandwich.
Megamaid explodes.
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Dark Helmet @darkhelmetsb.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Stop farting.
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Dark Helmet @darkhelmetsb.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
It's got to be better than the Special at Quark's.
The Special
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Dark Helmet @darkhelmetsb.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
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Dark Helmet @darkhelmetsb.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Monkey brains - delicious and nutritious!
Chilled monkey brains
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Dark Helmet @darkhelmetsb.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Today's mood:
The Helmet is dented.
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Dark Helmet @darkhelmetsb.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
DECAF?! #YoureSchwartzed
Dark Helmet Schwartzes a guy
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Dark Helmet @darkhelmetsb.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
MY BRAINS ARE GOING INTO MY FEET!
Ludicrous speed!
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Dark Helmet @darkhelmetsb.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
The executions will continue until morale improves.
Dark Helmet Schwartzes a guy
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Dark Helmet @darkhelmetsb.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
DO YOU LIKE COFFEE?!
Dark Helmet has a cup of coffee. The Spaceball Empire uses disposable styrofoam cups because they're EVIL.
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Dark Helmet @darkhelmetsb.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
The stunt doubles
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Dark Helmet @darkhelmetsb.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Gone to plaid
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Dark Helmet @darkhelmetsb.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
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Dark Helmet @darkhelmetsb.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
All I wanted was a sandwich.
Megamaid explodes
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Dark Helmet @darkhelmetsb.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Whose "Apes of Wrath" program is this in the holosuite files?
The Apes of Wrath
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Dark Helmet @darkhelmetsb.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
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Dark Helmet @darkhelmetsb.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
No.
Crusher lights up.
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Dark Helmet @darkhelmetsb.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
The Guy Fieri hologram is making nachos in a trash can! I hope it's a clean trash can!
Guy Fieri made nachos in a trash can. That is all you need to know.
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Dark Helmet @darkhelmetsb.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
Computer, activate the Emergency Culinary Hologram. HEY FOLKS, IT'S GUY FIERI AND TODAY ON "SPACEPORTS, STARBASES, AND DIVES" WE'RE CHECKING OUT A LITTLE JOINT ON THE EDGE OF A WORMHOLE THAT'S SERVING UP FERENGI FOOD WITH AN IRISH TWIST!
The Guy Fieri hologram. It is terrifying.
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Dark Helmet @darkhelmetsb.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
I don't think these new hires are going to work out.
The stunt doubles
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Dark Helmet @darkhelmetsb.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
The executions will continue until morale improves.
Dark Helmet Schwartzes a guy.
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Dark Helmet @darkhelmetsb.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
KNOCK NEXT TIME! KNOCK!
Dark Helmet is playing with his dolls again.
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Dark Helmet @darkhelmetsb.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
The Klingon chef: It is a good day to fry.
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Dark Helmet @darkhelmetsb.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
All I wanted was a sandwich.
Megamaid explodes.
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Dark Helmet @darkhelmetsb.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
This planet has gone to the apes.
The Apes of Wrath
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Dark Helmet @darkhelmetsb.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
I came, I saw, I got blowed up.
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Dark Helmet @darkhelmetsb.bsky.social · 06/09/2026
Prepare my escape pod.
The big red self-destruct button.
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Dark Helmet @darkhelmetsb.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
Gone to plaid
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Dark Helmet @darkhelmetsb.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
Ludicrous speed drinking - GO!
Ludicrous speed
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Dark Helmet @darkhelmetsb.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
I really don't think these new hires are going to work out.
The stunt doubles
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Dark Helmet @darkhelmetsb.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
The Special
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Dark Helmet @darkhelmetsb.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
GOODBYE DAVE
Space station explodes
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Dark Helmet @darkhelmetsb.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
NOOOOOOOOO!
Mr Coffee is infected with ransomware
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Dark Helmet @darkhelmetsb.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
Computer, activate the Emergency Culinary Hologram. HEY GUYS IT'S GUY FIERI, HERE FOR 'DINERS, SPACE STATIONS, AND DIVES', AND TODAY WE'RE HITTING UP A LITTLE FERENGI JOINT ON THE EDGE OF A WORMHOLE SERVING UP THE BEST SNAIL STEAKS THAT'LL CURL YOUR HAIR!
The holographic Guy Fieri. It is terrifying.
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