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Darkest Timeline

@darkest-timeline.bsky.social
2.1K followers 891 following 14K posts

This is definitely the darkest timeline. Chronically online neurodivergent from PDX. Overeducated and opinionated. Lost Canadian.

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Darkest Timeline @darkest-timeline.bsky.social · 4h
Same. Heck. My autistic and intellectually disabled cousin existed in the 80s but didn't get the diagnosis until he was a teenager because his services were provided under "MR."
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Darkest Timeline @darkest-timeline.bsky.social · 4h
Exactly. Trump isn't actually offering anything at all.
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Darkest Timeline @darkest-timeline.bsky.social · 4h
No. Governments and companies are not the same thing, and Medicare isn't even set up as a government corporation or municipal company.
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Darkest Timeline @darkest-timeline.bsky.social · 17h
The oldest Gen X is 61
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Darkest Timeline @darkest-timeline.bsky.social · 17h
Having no city locations is a handy way to not have your prices compared.
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Darkest Timeline @darkest-timeline.bsky.social · 17h
So Medicare for all?
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Darkest Timeline @darkest-timeline.bsky.social · 18h
static.klipy.com
Michael Che on SNL: That's Pretty Racist
Alt: Michael Che on SNL: That's Pretty Racist
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Darkest Timeline @darkest-timeline.bsky.social · 18h
He got the exact same agreement we already have.
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Darkest Timeline @darkest-timeline.bsky.social · 18h
Starting and continuing a stupid war of choice is a great peace record.
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Darkest Timeline @darkest-timeline.bsky.social · 18h
Way to seem relatable, sir.
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Darkest Timeline @darkest-timeline.bsky.social · 21h
Yup. And hitting his legs with his hands as he walked may have been recommended by a physical therapist.
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Darkest Timeline @darkest-timeline.bsky.social · 21h
No notes on this headline.
newrepublic.com
JD Vance Tries to Be Funny and Comes Across Weird
The vice president made a crude and unfunny joke about Ohio Democrat Amy Acton, who is running for governor.
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Darkest Timeline @darkest-timeline.bsky.social · 21h
Has he tried *not* doing things that could get the ICC to go after you?
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Darkest Timeline @darkest-timeline.bsky.social · 21h
He's pretty much never met a rapist he didn't like.
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Darkest Timeline @darkest-timeline.bsky.social · 22h
It's gotta be this:
Exoskeleton for elderly daily use mobility aid
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Darkest Timeline @darkest-timeline.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
static.klipy.com
Fun Fact: Columbus Is In The Bad Place (The Good Place)
Alt: Fun Fact: Columbus Is In The Bad Place (The Good Place)
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Darkest Timeline @darkest-timeline.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
static.klipy.com
Fun Fact: Columbus Is In The Bad Place (The Good Place)
Alt: Fun Fact: Columbus Is In The Bad Place (The Good Place)
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Darkest Timeline @darkest-timeline.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
We don't. And nobody outside of NYC thinks it's about Italians.
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Darkest Timeline @darkest-timeline.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
And I still don't know the answer!
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Darkest Timeline @darkest-timeline.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
Why plug him back in?
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Darkest Timeline @darkest-timeline.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Marx famously had a lot of opinions about trans people playing sports. 🤡
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Darkest Timeline @darkest-timeline.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Wow.
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Darkest Timeline @darkest-timeline.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
I'm sorry.
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Darkest Timeline @darkest-timeline.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
His wife doesn't know how to pronounce words and doesn't call him sir. Natalie told him.
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Darkest Timeline @darkest-timeline.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Most likely two or more of those at once. She's definitely had work done, and I don't think your skeleton should be that visible.
The Dells
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Darkest Timeline @darkest-timeline.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
Gonna say. His wife is 85% plastic at this point.
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Darkest Timeline @darkest-timeline.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
Gargle harder.
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Darkest Timeline @darkest-timeline.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
Hot take - he didn't cheat last time. He told Trump he cheated to curry favor. He's got a history of lying about his technical capabilities. Not that Trump won't try sicking ICE on poll stations or seizing voting machines. He's desperate.
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Darkest Timeline @darkest-timeline.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
The members elect vote for a speaker before they're seated, so I'm pretty sure he doesn't have the power to do anything without a majority.
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Darkest Timeline @darkest-timeline.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
It's even worse in some outfits because she's also skeletal with disproportionate implants. Money is bad for people.
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Darkest Timeline @darkest-timeline.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
She does - but also completely human looking.
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Darkest Timeline @darkest-timeline.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
While standing in front of a fully intact downtown. She couldn't have found a piece of graffiti?
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Darkest Timeline @darkest-timeline.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
Only thing I don't like about my 2020 Mac is the lack of magsafe.
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Darkest Timeline @darkest-timeline.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
She was fine before!
Susan Dell
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Darkest Timeline @darkest-timeline.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
Our very normal president, folks.
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Darkest Timeline @darkest-timeline.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
Here's the before.
Susan Dell
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Darkest Timeline @darkest-timeline.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
What would even be the point of making a deal with him? He's breaking his own deal right now.
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Darkest Timeline @darkest-timeline.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
Canada is making a deal with the EU.
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Darkest Timeline @darkest-timeline.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
Susan Dell didn't get less creepy looking, I tell you what.
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Darkest Timeline @darkest-timeline.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
We pressured Biden to retire when he was in much better shape than Mitch. And he should have retired much earlier!
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Darkest Timeline @darkest-timeline.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
That's why I don't drive to Vancouver. 🤣
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Darkest Timeline @darkest-timeline.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Vancouver, Washington. It's 10 minutes from Portland. We don't have any Walmarts in Portland.
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Darkest Timeline @darkest-timeline.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
If you insist...
Walmart butter $3
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Darkest Timeline @darkest-timeline.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Literally first Google hit and for the biggest US grocery chain. I don't think that's so hard pressed.
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Darkest Timeline @darkest-timeline.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Local Kroger's (Fred Meyer)
Butter $4
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Darkest Timeline @darkest-timeline.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Yeah. It's AI that he's tacked a few of his usual rants on top of.
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Darkest Timeline @darkest-timeline.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Right? This started before COVID, too. OMG - there's a Good Mythical Morning review
youtu.be
Jim Bakker Bucket Taste Test
YouTube video by Good Mythical Morning
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Darkest Timeline @darkest-timeline.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
A testable hypothesis.
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Darkest Timeline @darkest-timeline.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
The doomsday bucket.
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Darkest Timeline @darkest-timeline.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
She should have.
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