iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

DaoToaD @daotoad.bsky.social · 19h

Are you looking to marry one?

The cover of Kate Folk’s novel Sky Daddy. It’s about a woman who wants to marry a plane by crashing in it.

It’s very good. Read it.

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DaoToaD @daotoad.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

We were somewhere around Barstow, on the edge of the desert, when the drugs began to take hold…

Hellman’s official mascot Manny Mayonnaise.

The website says he’s 7 feet tall and has arms and legs.

He does, and they are yellow. Otherwise, he looks like an Aqua Teen Hunger Force reject.

https://www.hellmanns.com/us/en/inspiration/manny-mayo.html

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DaoToaD @daotoad.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

Horrible mayonnaise abuse to retch at.

An old magazine advertisement for best foods mayonnaise.

It feature three recipes for gelatin based salads that contain mayonnaise. They are all a bad pink color. One is shaped like a fish.

One of the recipes is titled “Shrimp Mold”.

Another vintage mayo ad. This one dates from the 40s and is called “Welcome Home Salad”. I assume this was meant to welcome returning soldiers. Imagine coming home from the horrors of war to be served canned pear halves slathered with cottage cheese and mayonnaise.

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DaoToaD @daotoad.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

Excellent piece. Even skimming a tiny bit off a pile of $2 billion provides tidy sum. Trump’s org is expert at dubious accounting schemes, so I expect his take to be more than tiny. By the magic of “typos are only visible after publication”, one got into the wild: “chart” instead of “cheat”.

Screenshot showing a typo that has someone being called “a convicted tax chart”.

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DaoToaD @daotoad.bsky.social · 26/08/2026

It could never happen. I would much rather see any del Toro film than a Bam Bam movie.

Still from Detective Pikachu. Pikachu, rendered with improbable looking CGI fur, is holding a magnifying glass and a deerstalker hat.

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DaoToaD @daotoad.bsky.social · 26/08/2026

Square hamburgers is the perfect unit of measurement. It can serve as a unit of area and volume. According to Google, each square hamburger is 16 square inches of area, but they are surprisingly thicc at 11.29 gallons each.

Screenshot of a Google search result that claims that a Wendy’s single patty is 4 inches by 4 inches by 163 inches thick.

That’s over 2000 cubic inches or 11.29 gallons.

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DaoToaD @daotoad.bsky.social · 16/04/2026

The pachy one you were thinking of is the “stupid bowl cut lizard” or pachycephalosaurus. As a 6 year old I liked that one because it was hard to say, but I could say it and thereby assert a modicum of intellectual superiority over adults who couldn’t. That made up for it looking dumb.

Pachycephalosaurus. The dumb bowl cut lizard. Trying to look cool despite the crappy haircut its mom gave it.

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DaoToaD @daotoad.bsky.social · 14/02/2026

Are your fajitas boring and bland? Add many small pieces of real cheese to make your fajitas fascinating! — A message from the American Dairy Council and The Cheese Wife

Photo of a finger pointing at a line on a page in a book.

SPELLS, CHARMS AND INCANTATIONS

Page 97

Take a shoe that the woman you love has worn, fill it with rue, and hang it over your bed to make her love you.

"To win a maiden's love, get a hair and a pin off her un-perceived, twist the hair around the pin, and then throw them backwards into a river. "

👉You may fascinate a woman by giving her a piece of cheese.

Put nine drops of fresh blood on a cloth which you will steam the————— ne you love.

Burn —— ter you have perspired heavily in it and int———into the food or drink of the man you d——

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DaoToaD @daotoad.bsky.social · 08/02/2026

DUDE, YOU’RE GETTING A DELL!

ICE “detain” someone.

Source:
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/tear-gas-immigration-protest-chicago-area-broadview-rcna232494

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DaoToaD @daotoad.bsky.social · 27/01/2026

I hate that it’s true that Biden was the most progressive president I’ve seen in my lifetime. And yet, at the same time, this is exactly the sort of shit I expected from him. We have so far to go as a nation.

Screen grab from Twin Peaks slightly misquoting David Lynch’s character, who says that his colleagues must “fix their hearts or die”. Since Lynch wrote and Directed the show it’s fair to attribute the words to him.

Anyhow, this has a caption that reads:

FIX YOUR HEARTS OR DIE!

This is the great work of every individual and, especially, that of the United States as a whole. Only most of don’t know it. We’re in a moment of crisis right now because we have failed to address our many bigotries. We seem to love hating people for their race, their gender identity, their sexuality, and their religious preferences more than we love ourselves or our nation, and now we’re paying the price.

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DaoToaD @daotoad.bsky.social · 21/01/2026

Quick! Set up an online store to hawk some shirts or some bacon flavored peanut butter or something. MONETIZE THE VIRALITY …or live in regretful poverty for the rest of your days.

Galadriel from Peter Jackson’s Fellowship of the Ring. She’s all green and grey and spooky and backlit. She says in a spooky echoey voice that sounds like Laurie Anderson’s “voice of authority” with more reverb “All shall love me and despair!”

So fire up that Shopify storefront and hawk that bacon flavored peanut butter and the t-shirts with the picture of your post for $50 a pop. Issue a memecoin.

Take the ring.

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DaoToaD @daotoad.bsky.social · 08/01/2026

I was trusted with a label maker once. What did I do with this awesome responsibility? Purely to aggravate my wife, I put a label on a random jar that lay in her line of sight that said “A Label”. She won that skirmish; she has a secret stash of typewriter correction tape which she wielded well.

A jar of some sort of vitamins or supplement with a large white label that says “A Label”. The large space between the A and the L has a small white patch covering something up.

What could it be?

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DaoToaD @daotoad.bsky.social · 08/01/2026

Timeline cleanse. Not a cat.

A black and tan dog in an e-collar (aka cone of shame) stares, glassy eyed, directly into the camera. The e-collar totally obscures her body (except for a tiny bit of toe peeking out of you’re persistent enough to find it.

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DaoToaD @daotoad.bsky.social · 17/12/2025

This is the corner of my kitchen where my experiments live. Sauerkraut fermenting, blue oyster mushrooms mushrooming, and alfalfa sprouts draining. Looking forward to eating these things alive.

Stuff sitting on a white kitchen counter. From left to right:
- a lumpy plastic bag with a collections of pale shapes jumbled inside
- a cylinder with some sort of pale wrapper splayed open at the end facing the camera. It contains some sort of white and grayish brown substance, at the center or the cylinder a mass of blueish gray globes is gathered near the center or the speckled substance.
- a squarish bowl holds a an upside down mason jar. The jar is filled with thousands of little white tendrils, no more than half an inch long. The mass of tendrils sits at what would be the top of the jar if it were upright. A scattering of specs and tendrils cling to the erstwhile bottom of the jar.

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DaoToaD @daotoad.bsky.social · 12/12/2025

Behold, the power of Propaganda!

A stack of sliced cheese on a white plate.

Above the stack a caption reads “Cracker optional”

Below the plate a caption reads “Behold the power of Cheese. ™️”. With a tiny slug about the US dairy board or something.

This dumb 80s ad campaign is being used metaphorically to comment on the massive amount of propaganda distorting our political system.

Despite what the ad says, in the case of our benighted politics, the cracker is not optional.

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DaoToaD @daotoad.bsky.social · 03/12/2025

Once you realize how easy it is to make tortillas, this isn’t an emergency. Flour, fat, salt, baking powder. Or it that won’t work for you, reach for a bowl and cut the tortilla into strips and fry it for a bit (or not). I am the Nexus One, I want more tacos buey, I’m not done.

The Voight Kampf test scene from Bladerunner. But about tearing your tortilla in on an overstuffed burrito.

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DaoToaD @daotoad.bsky.social · 19/11/2025

The canonical recipe. www.seriouseats.com/two-minute-m...

Process photos showing the steps for Serious Eats two minute mayo recipe.

A jar with an egg cracked into it. And some unidentified other stuff too. Mustard or garlic probably.

The same jar with the oil being poured in on top of the other junk.

The jar now has a stick blender in it and it’s starting to mix the jar junk.

The jar is now full of mayonnaise and the stick blender is laying on its side next to the jar, covered in mayonnaise.

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DaoToaD @daotoad.bsky.social · 11/11/2025

Yoda is such a great actor. He’s so underrated. Before he got famous from his cameos in Star Wars, he worked for decades in children’s TV, enduring over 9 hours of make up every day in order to complete his transformation.

Yoda, in his role-within-a-role performance tour de force as Super Grover striking a dramatic pose.

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DaoToaD @daotoad.bsky.social · 13/10/2025

I love translation fails so much.

Box for a product called Magic Hole.

It’s a frying pan with a hole in the back (maybe)—there’s a gripped fish and some veggies in the pan and there are little arrows pointing to something in the back wall of the pan, most likely the eponymous Magic Hole.

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DaoToaD @daotoad.bsky.social · 11/10/2025

A much nicer costume. But Space Giants Goldar has better hair.

Goldar of Space Giants shows off his spectacular golden tresses.

He’s also got Hamburger Helper hands in his human form. But so does his sworn enemy Rodak.

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DaoToaD @daotoad.bsky.social · 11/10/2025

Is there a Goldar in Power Rangers too or is this just a Space Giants deep cut. Space Giants and Ultraman were my jam at age 6.

Goldar (of Space Giants) and his electronic space family fights Rodak and his monster of the week.

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DaoToaD @daotoad.bsky.social · 11/10/2025

The wait is over! Just got a copy of Queen Demon, by the inimitable @marthawells.com from the library. Going to devour this sequel to Witch King for the joy of it, but also so the copy can be passed on to the next person as soon as possible. #marthawells #risingworld #murderbot

Screenshot showing the ebook cover of Queen Demon by Martha Wells.

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DaoToaD @daotoad.bsky.social · 28/09/2025

We need to remember that Obama never promised to lead us to some post-racial promised land. It was harebrained pundits who proclaimed the arrival of a post racial America—because it sounded exciting. It was about as premature a claim as Bush 2’s “mission accomplished” speech.

George W Bush standing behind a lectern on the deck of an aircraft carrier. He’s wearing a presidential power suit with a red tie. His right hand raised in a thumbs-up gesture. Behind him, on the conning tower, is an American flag banner with the words “MISION ACCOMPLISHED” on it.

Bush made this speech to celebrate victory in our invasion of Iraq. This was six weeks into an 8 year war (going with Wikipedia for the length of the war, it’s messy and hard to pin down the end).

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mission_Accomplished_speech

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DaoToaD @daotoad.bsky.social · 29/08/2025

That’s a fake account. We all know what the *real* King Arthur looks like.

Arthur, from the PBS animated series of the same name, wearing a large gold crown studded with jewels and sitting on a large blue throne with his arms raised as confetti falls through the air around him.

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DaoToaD @daotoad.bsky.social · 27/08/2025

Anyone caucusing with the GOP is a fascist or a quisling. Climbing into bed with them to ensure that the weapons that will be turned on Americans are reliable is denialism. At least we can take comfort in knowing that our tanks were a good value & won’t break down before the mass killing commences.

The famous Tank Man from the Tiananmen Square Uprising.

One man stands at the head of a column of four tanks, blocking them by simply standing there. It was a shocking display of people power that seemed to show a possible future of democracy with Chinese characteristics taking hold in China.

That did not happen. The tanks didn’t break down, they didn’t stay stopped. Instead there was a massacre of tremendous proportions. Nobody knows how many were killed. Somewhere between 200 and 10,000. Probably.

Ask yourself, do we want an authoritarian state to have reliable military gear? Should we be buying tanks that will happily macerate hundreds of people under their treads without needing repair? Why is that a goal?

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DaoToaD @daotoad.bsky.social · 22/08/2025

Imagine a tater tot 35 feet long weighing approximately 600 pounds.

Harold Ramis as Egon Spengler in the movie Ghostbusters, holding a Twinkie that he uses to explain how there are a lot of ghosts in NYC at that point in the movie.

Now imagine the Twinkie is a tater tot.

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DaoToaD @daotoad.bsky.social · 19/08/2025

A Dyson sphere around the solar system, you say? Gonna need a bigger vacuum cleaner!

A giant (as in several of miles tall) robot in a skirt holds a giant vacuum cleaner. It’s floating in space above a planet.

Screen grab from Space Balls. Robot is Mega Maid.

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DaoToaD @daotoad.bsky.social · 01/08/2025

Naked Gun is good, and do go see it. But don’t forget the TV series that spawned it. All six glorious episodes of Police Squad! (IN COLOR) are shining diamonds of peak Zucker, Abraham, and Zucker wit.

Title card from Police Squad! (IN COLOR). The best TV series ever.

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DaoToaD @daotoad.bsky.social · 01/08/2025

I can’t eat the ramen (fucking gluten sensitivity fucking sucks, I miss real bread and ramen so much). But this sauce is great. If you like the sauces, check out their tinned kimchi. It’s super good.

A tin of Samyang Buldak kimchi. Good stuff. Spicy, sour, and about as natural as Funyuns. Delicious.

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DaoToaD @daotoad.bsky.social · 18/07/2025

The only down side is that you’ll risk missing out on content related to the most underrated Sweathog.

Juan Luis Pedro Felipo de Huevos Epstein as played by Robert Hegyes in the TV series “Welcome Back Kotter”.

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DaoToaD @daotoad.bsky.social · 15/07/2025

That and fertilization seem to be their top kinks. Pretty sure they also make racist peanut butter cups with the both flavors. In a moment of weakness I asked an AI to make an image for this. It came out better than expected.

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DaoToaD @daotoad.bsky.social · 09/06/2025

Okay, WTF is a swampers blanket? Google turned up useless horse crap.

Horse shit Google search results.

Git yerself a swamp ass monster blanket.

Is that a blanket for an ass monster that lives in a swamp or a blanket for a monster that has a sweaty butt?

We may never know.

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DaoToaD @daotoad.bsky.social · 04/06/2025

At least you aren’t stuck in the hellscape of Thomas the Tank Engine. Be sure to behave or the humans will rip your wheels off and trap you in a box and use you as a generator.

Smudger the train imprisoned as a generator.

Text from the fan wiki:

According to Duke, Smudger was a show-off who rode roughly and often came off the rails while doing his own jobs on the Mid Sodor Railway. Duke tried to warn him to be careful, but Smudger ignored his advice. He was finally punished by being turned into a generator and being put behind the engine shed. Duke stated that Smudger would "never move again". Smudger's downfall was used by Duke to lecture Stuart and Falcon about disobedient engines.

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DaoToaD @daotoad.bsky.social · 11/05/2025

My dog is fundamentally opposed to the existence of squeakers and had developed advanced surgical methods for their eradication.

An extra sturdy dog stuffed animal toy with a hole neatly torn through its flank.

The the end result of the careful laparoscopic surgical method devised by my dog. The hole is no larger than is absolutely necessary for the removal and disarming of the squeaker.

The same reinforced dog toy from the previous photo with the squeaker inserted into the hole from which it was excised.

The top of the squeaker where the read used to be has been thoroughly removed, leaving only a few shreds.

Surgical precision.

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DaoToaD @daotoad.bsky.social · 11/04/2025

Repost with an image of your favourite James Bond (wrong answers only)

A GIF of John Pertwee as Bond; sporting a bow tie, an ascot, and a green velvet suit coat while using his martial arts skills to calmly disarm Oddjob.

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DaoToaD @daotoad.bsky.social · 07/04/2025

Sauce is bottled back up. Now it just need to rest for a couple days.

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DaoToaD @daotoad.bsky.social · 06/04/2025

Making barbecue sauce today. Using a recipe based on one from Joe’s KC (nee Oklahoma Joe’s). One batch uses a 32 oz bottle of ketchup. When you cook it down, it fits back into the same bottles. Just be sure let it cool so you don’t melt the bottle. I make two bottles worth at a time.

Barbecue sauce final? recipe

Ingredients
* 3 cups Heinz ketchup (32 oz bottle)
* 1 cup granulated sugar
* ½ cup packed brown sugar
* ½ cup cider vinegar
* ¼ cup water
* 2 tablespoons molasses
* 1 tablespoon Dijon-style mustard
* 1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
* 2 teaspoons garlic powder
* 2 teaspoons finely ground black pepper
* 1 teaspoon salt
* 1 teaspoon onion powder
* 1 teaspoon liquid smoke
Simmer for 1 hour, stirring frequently.
Let cool and bottle. Wait 48 hours to eat.

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DaoToaD @daotoad.bsky.social · 27/03/2025

Looks like it might be bigger on the inside.

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DaoToaD @daotoad.bsky.social · 25/03/2025

Improv fermented giardiniera. Super tasty, but ferments with onions smell pretty bad when you burp them.

A photo of sliced cauliflower, carrots, green peppers, and onions looking a little damp. Closer inspection shows a few flecks of herbs and spices.

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DaoToaD @daotoad.bsky.social · 09/03/2025

Digging through old boxes and found these save icons. These are very much of their time.

Photo of four 3.5 inch floppy disks.

A pale gray disk with a hand written label that indicates it contains “System 6?”, solitaire, Glypha, and Crystal Quest.

A dark red disk with a handwritten label Disk 20 of the backup set for my Mac LC. I had a 40 megabyte disk on that that held about 90 with disk compression.

And two AOL disks that I used to send in the business reply mail cards for because floppy disks were expensive.

One of the AOL disks has “zterm” written on it. Zterm was a Mac terminal emulator that was great for dial up BBSes.

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DaoToaD @daotoad.bsky.social · 05/03/2025

After we got our Christmas tree in 2023, our dog decided she liked the tree water best. So now we keep the watering can out for her all year. And yes, it must be on the hearth or it’s not good water anymore.

A read plastic watering can sits on the hearth of a stone fireplace.

A medium sized black and tan dog has her front legs up on the hearth while very her hind legs are on the floor.

She is stretching at an awkward angle to lap water from a small hole in the top of the watering can.

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DaoToaD @daotoad.bsky.social · 01/03/2025

Every day with this chucklehead is another opportunity to use the Simpsons’ “so far” meme. Bart: “This is the most embarrassingly craven behavior by a US President!” Homer: “This is the most embarrassingly craven behavior by a US President so far.” And yes, I am too lazy to use the template.

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