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Danny Hewson

@dannyhewson.bsky.social
159 followers 76 following 257 posts

Definitely not a seagull. Arch-prognosticator and futurist. D&D DM. 40K painter. Writer of weird fiction. 🏳️‍🌈 linktr.ee/danny.hewson My first novel, "Empty Shells", is now available on Amazon in eBook and paperback. I'm told it's quite good.

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Danny Hewson @dannyhewson.bsky.social · 20h
Don’t forget walking up to a bed and IMMEDIATELY getting eight hours of uninterrupted sleep and waking up fully rested. Absolute fantasy.
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Danny Hewson @dannyhewson.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
So we’re all agreed that the dogs that played Odin in “Heart of the Beast” are collectively getting best actor at the Oscars this year, right? #dogs #cinema
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hey i’m josh @kingadahipsters.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
my artist transition of what that weird skull wheelbarrow would look like with flesh on it. I made the head look like Conan O’Brien
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Danny Hewson @dannyhewson.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
“From the moment I understood the weakness of my flesh, it disgusted me. I craved the strength and certainty of steel. I aspired to the purity of the Blessed Machine.” Have you heard of our lord and saviour The Omnissiah?
static.klipy.com
Warhammer 40k Tech-Priest Screeching
ALT: Warhammer 40k Tech-Priest Screeching
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Danny Hewson @dannyhewson.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
A slightly belligerent seagull.
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Danny Hewson @dannyhewson.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
So are we all agreed that Hegseth’s dick doesn’t work without major pharmaceutical assistance? Because this obsession has to come from somewhere.
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Effie Seiberg is a spooky Cyborg @effies.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
post by @ItsAndyRyan


Her: who's your favorite literary vampire?
Me: the one in Sesame Street
Her: he doesn't count
Me: I can assure you that he does
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Sarah Andersen @sarahseeandersen.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
The image is of a four panel comic.
In panel one, we see a man sitting at a restaurant table. He is sweating. He says "Y-you have beautiful eyes".
The second panel zooms in on the man's face. He says, "I'm sorry. I'm just so nervous."
In panel three we see that a biblically accurate angel is sitting on the other side of the table.
In panel four we zoom in on the angel's face, who says "BE NOT AFRAID".
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Danny Hewson @dannyhewson.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
A new chapter, and a new set of nightmare fuel predictions, has been added to my horoscope series on Wattpad. Statistically it probably won’t be you. Probably. You hope. www.wattpad.com/story/414080... #comedy #horoscope
wattpad.com
Dr Danny's Astrological Extravaganza - Danny Hewson - Wattpad
Horoscopes for the discerning masochist. Where most soothsayers like to keep things vague, so that any person might find applicability in them, I prefer to be...
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🍬 Abigail Kemske 🍬 @abigailkemske.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
Welp, confirmation from a market that gen AI art is used when there are "no other options." No other options?? SEriOSLy? 🤔 Let's start a thread of where you can find art to use in the public domain because I'm sick of this shit! Please reply below with your favorite resources. 👇
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Danny Hewson @dannyhewson.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
There’s a real “Im just being a pest” barrier to repeat marketing that i struggle to beat. The writing was the easy part. LINK IN PROFILE! Runs away and hides behind the sofa.
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Danny Hewson @dannyhewson.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
Also “broduce” surely HAS to be a euphemism.
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Danny Hewson @dannyhewson.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
I mean I do want more internet numbers, but their annual price rises are almost as big a piss take as virgin media. That said they can’t possibly be less reliable…
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Danny Hewson @dannyhewson.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
Were I cynical, I'd say that there was a connection between the email I got from BT saying "you can have full fibre now, if you give us more money" and the fact my internet's been running like shit ever since.
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😱 Spooky SpectreKILLoquy 🔪 🩸 @caulimovirus.bsky.social · 27/03/2026
scary monster man
bloody pencil with words “write a horror story using only 3 words”
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Danny Hewson @dannyhewson.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
Unexpected self digestion. Surplus child conscription. Piano wire shibari. Cannibal veal atrocity. Missing, presumed unwanted. Lost diving bell. Mandatory flesh harvest. and for contrast Submarine fart nightmare, gluten free bread, japanese toilet recall, canned chicken sushi,
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Danny Hewson @dannyhewson.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
Foot pic. #feet #3dprinting #40k
The 3d printed foot of a 40K warhound titan. You see the joke is it’s a foot pic of a giant war robot.
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Danny Hewson @dannyhewson.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
Okay, so at this point what’s the likelihood that Nvidia is selling the same GPUs to multiple customers because they know they’ll never take delivery, or so few will over such a long time they can just pull from the warehouse as and when?
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Danny Hewson @dannyhewson.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
“Hello, I’m that character you added to flesh out a scene. I will not be leaving, will bulldoze myself to main character status, and will be on the cover of the next book.” Characters have a mind of their own. I do like him though.
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Danny Hewson @dannyhewson.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
They just have no taste.
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Danny Hewson @dannyhewson.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
Time for another chapter of The Monsters Among Us! www.wattpad.com/myworks/4145... #writing #fiction #werewolves #vampires #supernatural
wattpad.com
The Monsters Among Us - Danny Hewson - Wattpad
The Monsters Among Us follows a podcaster who has spent their career trying to find proof of the existence of monsters in the days after those very same monste...
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Danny Hewson @dannyhewson.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
There are two things that prove you’re not old yet. 1: you fell over. You didn’t “have a fall”. This is an important distinction. 2: you didn’t break your hip. If it helps, we could call you a clumsy fucker?
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Danny Hewson @dannyhewson.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
I've got a guy setting up amazon ads for Empty Shells. One of the sub campaigns is targeted against a long list of target books. What he's basically accidentally done is set up a massive reading list for me. #booksky
static.klipy.com
Joe Exotic: Never Going to Financially Recover
Alt: Joe Exotic: Never Going to Financially Recover
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Rae Radford @raeradford.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
Yep, leave me behind….. #BookSky
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Danny Hewson @dannyhewson.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
"Look how many sales I've made" says the oddly clammy man selling ten pound notes for a quid a piece. "Surely soon I'll start making a profit."
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Danny Hewson @dannyhewson.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
I wrote a book! People keep telling me it's quite good. I have not, however, learned how to do marketing yet. www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0H8K6M95R Honestly, the writing is the fun part. It's trying to get people to read it that's the painful bit.
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Danny Hewson @dannyhewson.bsky.social · 15/08/2026
There's too much stuff in my Steam library I've barely played, so let's review all of it. We're starting with a mind bender. #games #gamereview
dannysworldofstuff.com
5D Chess with Multiverse Time Travel 
All the odd stuff in my steam library, in alphabetical order – Part 1 We’ve all got loads of shit in our Steam libraries, right? Sales and bundles and whatnot? I’ve been wanting to try and actually do some reviews and some critical writing, and while I was at it, why not knock another one off the list and give some time to the games I own that I’ve never played or barely touched?
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Danny Hewson @dannyhewson.bsky.social · 15/08/2026
I’m experimenting with amazon ads, going to have to contact some reviewers… but my fallback is wandering around Comic-Con and similar events wearing this.
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Danny Hewson @dannyhewson.bsky.social · 15/08/2026
While I’ve done a fair amount in London parks, my favourite ever writing spot was this rooftop in Croatia. Look at that view.
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Danny Hewson @dannyhewson.bsky.social · 15/08/2026
I’m perpetually surprised by the physical existence of my book. Like “this is a real product I can hold, that I wrote” never ceases to amaze me. It’s just a shame I’ve now got to figure out marketing it.
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Danny Hewson @dannyhewson.bsky.social · 14/08/2026
As a gesture of support, I’m currently putting the bins out. Also it’s my bin day.
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Danny Hewson @dannyhewson.bsky.social · 10/08/2026
www.wattpad.com/story/414841... A standalone short story from the world of my novel "Empty Shells" for your enjoyment. #writing #fiction #shortstory
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Danny Hewson @dannyhewson.bsky.social · 12/08/2026
The only news coverage they should get is all the insider trading.
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Danny Hewson @dannyhewson.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
Why, when faced with writing my author page on Amazon, is my first instinct to write a comedy roast of myself? #writing #selfpublishing
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Danny Hewson @dannyhewson.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
I don’t know how many times I’ve been through Empty Shells looking for typos and iffy sentences. But that’s what you have to do. It’s professional pride, and the end result is all the better for it. I’d be mortified if someone paid me for something I’d put that little effort into.
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Danny Hewson @dannyhewson.bsky.social · 10/08/2026
The way I see it, if you’re going to make a damp potato burrito, you might as well just go all in and replace the rice AND the hash brown with mashed potato.
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Danny Hewson @dannyhewson.bsky.social · 10/08/2026
I've been in write-only mode for too long. I need to read more. So I'll review them too, while I'm at it. #booksky #review
dannysworldofstuff.com
Book Review: New Earth, by M.R. Forbes
To give a spoiler-free pitch, the basic idea is the protagonist coming out of suspended animation on a deep space colony ship where things have gone badly wrong. He wakes up, without even his memory, and is immediately set upon. I’ll try and keep the rest light on explicit spoilers, but... you know. The story is dark from the off. Damn near everything that could go wrong, already has gone wrong, and we’re only finding out about it as the protagonist does.
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Danny Hewson @dannyhewson.bsky.social · 10/08/2026
Wait, surely no one put the hash brown IN the burrito? It would go all soggy. That would defeat the point.
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Roxi Horror 💀🌸 @roxiqt.com · 18/11/2025
This might be an unpopular opinion but what this baby seal is doing is very special to me, personally.
screenshot of a YouTube video still of a chubby baby seal laying on the snow with the caption "In the glittering backlight, a fat baby seal is doing nothing special."
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Danny Hewson @dannyhewson.bsky.social · 10/08/2026
And a quote from one of my friendly readers: "That is the most wholesome story about best friends who regularly murder each other I have ever read." I mean it's statistically likely to be the only one, but I'm still happy with the feedback.
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Danny Hewson @dannyhewson.bsky.social · 10/08/2026
Summary: A scavenger who travels Hell's highways seeking eccentric riches discovers a (temporarily) deceased demon and brings him along. When he recovers she discovers he has an unusual story to tell, a tale of a unique friendship and a duel across decades.
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Danny Hewson @dannyhewson.bsky.social · 10/08/2026
www.wattpad.com/story/414841... A standalone short story from the world of my novel "Empty Shells" for your enjoyment. #writing #fiction #shortstory
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Danny Hewson @dannyhewson.bsky.social · 10/08/2026
God are there not enough of them already? I know of at least five shops that are 50%+ HP stuff. Some of them to the point I'm beginning to think they're the new "American Candy" tax/laundering dodge.
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Danny Hewson @dannyhewson.bsky.social · 09/08/2026
That’s Numberwang! #numberwang #snacks
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Danny Hewson @dannyhewson.bsky.social · 09/08/2026
Draw me like one of your French pastries.
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Danny Hewson @dannyhewson.bsky.social · 08/08/2026
This weeks D&D session: Super-villain Steve Thameswater builds a giant shit refinery to make a fortune out of turning sewage into products and pumping the run off into the river, which the city uses for drinking water. #dnd #ttrpg #subtlety
static.klipy.com
Garth Marenghi Garth Marenghi'S Darkplace
ALT: Garth Marenghi Garth Marenghi'S Darkplace
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Danny Hewson @dannyhewson.bsky.social · 06/08/2026
Where did he think the cream comes from?
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Smooth Dunk @smoothdunk2.bsky.social · 05/08/2026
4 panel comic

Panel 1:
A post from “kavishj9611” that reads: 

“All the people who are anti-Al or want to slow Al progress, I have one question:
If Al disappeared tomorrow, could you still get through an entire workday without ChatGPT, Claude, or any other
Al tool?
Imagine Al was suddenly banned.
Would you actually be willing to give it up?”

Panel 2:
And Orange Guy and a Pink Guy are standing in a room that has two pipes in it. Both pipes are pumping raw sewage into the room. The characters are waist deep in it.
Orange Guy says smugly “Ok Mr “I don’t want to be in a room that’s filling up with raw sewage” let me ask you this”

Panel 3:
The sewage has reached their chests. Pink Guy is gagging. Orange Guy smugly continues “If all this sewage disappeared right now, could you get through the day without it?”

Panel 4:
The sewage is almost up to their eyeballs. Orange Guys says “Look at that shit floating past your face. Are you willing to give that up?”
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Danny Hewson @dannyhewson.bsky.social · 06/08/2026
Yes, this is a screenshot from my Roll20. Yes that's a four dimensional gelatinous hypercube. Yes the token is animated. Yes it is also really stupid. That is all. #ttrpg #dnd
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Count Binface @countbinface.bsky.social · 05/08/2026
53,800 of these bad boys are landing in Clacton. Ain’t they beauts? #VoteBinface
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