iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

THE SOCIAL RECKONING INT. COURTROOM - DAY Attorney: "In German, 'Zukerberg' translates to 'sugar mountain.' Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my client is nothing more than a big sweetie. {Murmurs and gasps fill the courtroom} Judge: {banging gavel} Order! Order!

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

writing a gift of the magi-esque story about two graphic designers who are forced to pivot and become uber drivers and they crash into each other

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Me: {sweating in front of my grad students after another taxing lecture} "Okay I'm gonna say this ONE more time: don't say GHOSTS if you mean GHOULS. They are different things." Student: {raising hand} "What about goblins?" Me: "Get the fuck outta here."

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

My favorite Smashing Pumpkins lyric.

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

"Thanks for all the support, but now I got you" I say as I stand up my halloween skeleton. "NYEHHH!" I imagine it saying back in it's shrill skeleton voice.

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Halloween is the one time of the year when we honor skeletons by standing them up for change.

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

Do you need more superhero IP, you sick monsters? Here is a list of all the original superhero movies I have pitched to big movie studios along with the reason(s) they were extremely rejected. Subscribe to my haunted newsletter please. welcometowormfarm.substack.com/p/finally-so...

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

INSTEAD OF: "I hate your guts." TRY: "You've beautiful guts." INSTEAD OF: "Put up your dukes." TRY: "Wrap those beautiful dukes around me."

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

Anyone with a robot vacuum is not scared of the robot uprising. They're just gonna keep trying to choke themselves on the same wire.

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

Lot of winners at the Emmys this year. One thing is for sure: TV shows truly are the movies of television.

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

I'm Detective Sense and this is my partner, Detective Sensibility.

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 13/09/2026

Bro I’m so sorry, if I knew you were dating Strega Nona I NEVER would’ve made spaghetti, I’m sorry Strega

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 09/09/2026

finally an iphone with even more screen to break etc. etc.

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 09/09/2026

Excited to wear my fall fashions as I continue to sit and work from home and see nobody.

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 09/09/2026

Excuse me Mr. The Devil but there seems to have been a mistake I was promised a special place in hell.

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 01/09/2026

{pouring a glass of water} Me: (remembering school) "Meniscus."

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 24/08/2026

Me: "Hello, I got stuck in the muck." 911: "I'm sorry to hear that, sir, can you take a peek around and check if there is also mire?" Me: "Sure, hold on." 911: "Thanks." {squishing sounds from phone} Me: "Yeah, I'd say it's probably a 60/40 muck/mire situation."

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 20/08/2026

The name's Joaquin Pheonix. Pheonix as in the immortal fire bird of myth. Joaquin as in the sound swords make when they fight each other.

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 13/08/2026

In my dream last night everyone knew "www" stood for "wise wizard of the woods" because in the olden times if you needed a question answered you would seek out the wise wizard in the woods and the internet is a digital version of that.

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 12/08/2026

Buddy there's no better burglar in the business than me. Jewels are begging to be burgled by yours truly. Watch out or I just might burgle you as well. Just kidding (or am I?) I even burgled a skyscraper one time and truth b'told I shouldn't've burgled that. Some things are just too big to burgle.

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 12/08/2026

"I'm GoNnA StEaL tHe JeWeLs UnDeR cOvEr Of DaRkNeSs" yeah me fuckin' too, pal. MOVE IT ALONG.

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 12/08/2026

Just got to the museum to steal the royal jewels during the eclipse and there's a whole fuckin' line of burglars!

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 12/08/2026

“And I shall remove my kidneys lest ye think me full o’beans.” - Winston Churchill

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 12/08/2026

Whether it be back, junk, or bone, America is bonkers for yards!

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 03/08/2026

Tightened a screw in my apartment and then just wandered around my apartment with the screwdriver in case anything needed tightening.

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 27/07/2026

Okay that one sucked but okay here's my impression of if Ronald Reagan was in Obsession (2026). "Mr. Gorbachev, Bear likes this girl." Wow you guys didn't like that one either. You have to imagine that Mr. Gorbachev is in the movies as well.

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 27/07/2026

Okay so here is my impression of Ronald Reagan if he got stuck in the backrooms. "Mr. Gorbachev, stare down this hall."

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 22/07/2026

Can I explain this gap on my resumé? How familiar are you with the concept of Jumanji?

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 21/07/2026

Dr. Doom: "STRETCH AS YOU MIGHT, MR. FANTASTIC, FOR NO MAN– ELONGATED OR REGULAR– HAS EVER REMOVED THE HOOD FROM- fuck." {Dr. Doom's hood falls down revealing rusty male pattern baldness on his metal head} "A GASP!! MY MAGNETS! THE KID AT MICHAEL'S SAID THEY WOULD HOLD ONCE SEWN INTO MY HEAVY GARB."

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 21/07/2026

Dr. Doom: "DO YOU LIKE MY CLOAK, CAPTAIN AMERICA? I SEWED MAGNETS INTO THE RIM OF THE HOOD SO IT DOES NOT FALL OFF IN THE BREEZE. I GET COLD DESPITE BEING SOME KIND OF MECHANICAL MAN, YOU SEE. BEHOLD AS THE BREEZE FAILS TO DISRUPT THE VERY HOOD I HAVE BE-SEWN MAGNETS INTO. I SEW MY OWN GARB."

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 20/07/2026

Odysseus: Truly this whole thing has been pretty odyssian. Really an odyssey. Some might even call it THE odyssey. I’m Odysseus by the way.” Cyclops: “Okay.”

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 19/07/2026

It’s my job to stand on the sidelines with a microphone during the World Cup and make the “pmmffmp” sound whenever someone kicks the ball.

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 10/07/2026

If I were Goalkeeper in the World Cup, I would simply do rapid cartwheels to and fro across the goal, creating powerful winds that would prevent the ball from ever entering the Goal Zone.

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 07/07/2026

{randy newman voice} 🎵chewbacca friend in me🎵

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 06/07/2026

You know all the regular cracker companies were panicking when graham crackers came out.

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 03/07/2026

Scientist: {looking through microscope} This specimen is covered in microbes. Me: Oh so now they’re YOUR crobes?

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 30/06/2026

Every time it cuts to the American team's coach talking to a player on the sidelines I like to imagine he's saying "remember don't touch da ball with your hands okay have fun"

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Daniel Spenser @danielspenser.bsky.social · 30/06/2026

So many movies are about either Spider-Man or The Mummy but never the same movie are they the same guy or what

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