iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Dale Smith @dalesmithonline.com · 02/10/2026

Say hello to my little penis.

RANDOM LINE
FROM A MOVIE
THAT FANS OF IT
INSTANTLY KNOW

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Dale Smith @dalesmithonline.com · 29/07/2026

Remembering that time Paul Whitehouse was in The Three Doctors.

The back of a military man with black hair and a brown uniform (Nicholas Courtney's The Brigadier) looking at an older man with messy hair and a scowling face (Laurie Webb's Mr Ollis) against the traditional quarry in Southern England backdrop that represents an alien world in Doctor Who. Mr Ollis has a look of Paul Whitehouse about him.

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Dale Smith @dalesmithonline.com · 23/06/2026

Me visiting the reflecting pool.

A man in a white uniform holding a gun, his left arm disappearing into a blob of green goo that also spreads across his face. It looks almost as if an over-stretched make-up department wrapped him in bubblewrap and painted it green BUT THAT IS DEFINITELY NOT WHAT HAPPENED OK?

0224

Dale Smith @dalesmithonline.com · 05/06/2026

Make a Doctor Who title less scary.

The title card for the 15th Doctor story "Boom", only I have changed the name of the story to "Boop" for comic effect. Aren't I a wag?

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Dale Smith @dalesmithonline.com · 04/06/2026

Should be this badboy m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5...

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Dale Smith @dalesmithonline.com · 04/06/2026

Addendum: it's not possible that in 1988 this wasn't a reference to the Fifth Doctor, right?

Jeff Goldblum in his 20s looking bemused at the camera whilst wearing a cream jacket and a cricketing jumper. He looks ready to step in and play the Doctor should Peter Davison be unable. Which he never is. Davison is the GOAT.

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Dale Smith @dalesmithonline.com · 23/04/2026

There are lies, damn lies, and this street sign, which was *fucking miles* away from Fallowfield.

Picture of a street sign in Reading that reads "Fallowfield Close".

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Dale Smith @dalesmithonline.com · 06/03/2026

Maybe I had this AI thing all wrong.

A screenshot of a Google search for "As A Kang Should Be" "reviews" that reads as follows:

"As A Kang Should Be by Dale Smith is a highly acclaimed, "brilliant" Doctor Who spin-off novel set in the Paradise Towers universe. Reviews praise it as an original, deeply emotional, and "necessary" piece of fiction. It has received glowing praise for its unique take on the characters, with one reviewer calling it "highly recommended".

Key Takeaways from Reviews
Highly Recommended: Described as one of the most original pieces of Doctor Who related fiction.
Emotional Impact: The story is deeply engaging, with at least one report of it moving a reader to tears."

Note that the AI seems to have gain this opinion primarily from reading the reviews page on my website, which exists primarily to sell the book to potential readers. So the book is declared to be "critically acclaimed" because its writer has highlighted a number of reviews that say it's worth you buying.

That reader who was reported to be "moved to tears"? My daughter, as is made clear on the page in question. I'm sure nobody could ever find a way of gaming this system.

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Dale Smith @dalesmithonline.com · 24/02/2026

Oh yeah, it's definitely an influx of other religions that's doing it.

By Tweedle - Own work, data taken from Measuring religious affiliation in Great Britain: the 2011 census in historical and methodological context, using Tables 1 and 3 (up to 1978) and BSA Religious affilation surveys from 1983 to 2018., CC BY-SA 4.0, The chart shows that the number of people claiming no religion has grown exponentially since the 1980s. https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=128461024

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Dale Smith @dalesmithonline.com · 25/01/2026

Always keep the shop assistant guessing.

A tube of No More Nails (Original Instant Tack) laid over a small pack of Nails, purchased at the same time from my local hardware store.

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Dale Smith @dalesmithonline.com · 21/01/2026

Watched #Grease last night, which - as you can see from this screengrab - is a remake of Attack of the 50ft Woman made in the 1970s about the 1950s, kind of like someone making a Brit pop musical now. The producers have taken songs from everyone - the theme is a Barry Gibb number - but it works.

Giant Sandy terrorises poor Danny Zucko as he begs her not to destroy Rydell High in a screengrab from the movie Grease (1978): a disproportionally big blonde woman on the left of the screen with a young, slick-haired greaser standing on a metal gantry to the right.

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Dale Smith @dalesmithonline.com · 31/12/2025

It wasn't quite as straight-forward as that, although nobody ended up getting charged (but it is tricky to see an innocent explanation).

Headline from the Campaign website: Betting controversy around announcement of new Doctor Who. It's a newspaper I've never heard of but the only one not operating a scammy "pay us and we'll let you opt out of cookies" system. https://www.campaignlive.co.uk/article/betting-controversy-around-announcement-new-doctor/871086

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Dale Smith @dalesmithonline.com · 12/11/2025

Repost with an iconic fictional band (if you feel like it)

An 80s stadium band on stage. The lead is a big-haired woman with a guitar, and behind her are two other women: the bass player and a keytar player. Both are looking across stage right to the third guitarist, a small duck in a power suit holding a red guitar. Behind them is a globe made of lights. It's a still from Howard the Duck (1988) featuring the band Cherry Bomb in the climactic performance of the theme song.

010

Dale Smith @dalesmithonline.com · 06/11/2025

Another fine episode, but all the way through I couldn't quite remember the cover they were talking about and could only think of this fine painting. Pretty close, I reckon.

The painting that Captain Blackadder claimed to have painted showing the horror of war, as a black haired soldier stands horrified over the body of a dead nun on the ground. The painting style is expressionist, and TBH the screen-grab is a bit blurry.

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Dale Smith @dalesmithonline.com · 23/10/2025

The big screen versions of British sitcoms don't always work, but I think this one manages to send Gary on holiday to Spain without spoiling the tone of the original. Shame they recast though.

Promo image for the sitcom Gary: Tank Commander, featuring Greg McHugh in military camouflage gear squinting at the camera and looking macho with three other similarly dressed characters behind him. The title of the show is at the bottom of the image.

010

Dale Smith @dalesmithonline.com · 12/10/2025

Finally found the right picture to show Stephen Fry so he properly understands the Scunthorpe problem.

Coat of arms of a Manchester school: a shield with four emblems - including 3 crowns, 4 lions and a boiled egg that appears to have stolen Jesus' halo - and a banner underneath. The banner has the school's motto on it: concordia res parvæ crescunt. Apparently this means "With harmony, small things grow," which to be honest isn't much better. Was this school set up by Chubby Brown? We will never know.

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Dale Smith @dalesmithonline.com · 06/10/2025

Just looked up the word "miscast" in the dictionary, and all it has is this picture. Weird.

Pierce Brosnan, an older actor with a full beard that has gone mostly white, wearing a tartan shirt and a flat cap looks out at the camera as if he's considering exactly which part of upperclass Northern Ireland the Cockney Trades Union man Ron Richie's accent should come from.

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Dale Smith @dalesmithonline.com · 16/09/2025

'Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg has told analysts that people without smart glasses may one day be at a "significant cognitive disadvantage" compared to those who do use the tech'

Both of Zaphod Beeblebrox's heads find that their danger-sensitive sunglasses have gone completely black in the face of certain peril, from the BBC Hitchhikers Guide TV adaptation.

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Dale Smith @dalesmithonline.com · 22/07/2025

More people are considering AI lovers and we shouldn't judge.

A man in a panama hat and cream suit is tied to a chair under a cloth, with a robot made of sweets that looks suspiciously like Bertie Bassett but definitely isn't oh no sir looms over him. The first man screams. A third man similarly tied up is in the background, watching both with an unreadable expression. This is the Seventh Doctor Who being tortured by the Kandyman from The Happiness Patrol by Graeme Curry, and nothing dirty, ok?

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Dale Smith @dalesmithonline.com · 12/07/2025

Shots fired in this morning's Guardian Feast.

Photo of a recipe in the Guardian Feast food magazine "Benjamina Ebeuhi: The Sweet Spot." column. The first line is "I don't buy jaffa cakes nearly as often as other biscuits", and a thousand McVities lawyers and HMRC Revenue Officers all looked up at the same time, like dinosaurs sensing the arrival of a challenger.

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Dale Smith @dalesmithonline.com · 27/06/2025

Post the same actor in two roles that show their range.

Tom Baker plays The Doctor and Meglos in the TV story Meglos.

010

Dale Smith @dalesmithonline.com · 23/06/2025

"What's a poster you had up in your room growing up?"

Alister Pearson's poster of the First Doctor surrounded by various kinds of Cybermen.

Alister Pearson's poster of the Fourth Doctor surrounded by various kinds of Sontaran.

Alister Pearson's poster of the Third Doctor surrounded by various kinds of Ice Warrior.

Alister Pearson's poster of the Seventh Doctor surrounded by the shadows of his former selves. The quote “There are worlds out there where the sky is burning, where the sea's asleep and the rivers dream, people made of smoke and cities made of song. Somewhere there's danger, somewhere there's injustice and somewhere else the tea is getting cold. Come on, Ace, we've got work to do.” from Survival Episode 3 is at the top of the page.

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Dale Smith @dalesmithonline.com · 23/06/2025

I also have a short story in the forthcoming @obversebooks.bsky.social Party Like It's 1998! charity collection. Full of great authors and EDA nostalgia, plus the added glow of helping a good cause. Pre-order now at obversebooks.co.uk/product/part... #DoctorWho #EDAs

The cover of Party Like It's 1998, featuring a sketch of a stylised green figure with flowing locks holding a watch against a background of swirling patterns. The figure is the Eighth Doctor as drawn by Paul Magrs.

050

Dale Smith @dalesmithonline.com · 06/06/2025

Someone sent me this, and I think I will be thinking of it for the rest of my life. #DoctorWho

A screenshot of Ncuti Gatwa regenerating, only instead of Billie Piper it is Charles Hawtrey who has appeared. However, the new Doctor's first line remains the same: "Oh, hello!"

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Dale Smith @dalesmithonline.com · 03/06/2025

What fresh nonsense is this? GDPR compliant?

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Dale Smith @dalesmithonline.com · 25/05/2025

See also the sheer amount of bone on display in the Rani's lair and Wish-world in general.

010

Dale Smith @dalesmithonline.com · 25/05/2025

Ok, I lied: one thought about last night's #DoctorWho. By including Captain Poppy as the Doctor's "real" daughter, RTD is deliberately toying with the fan audience. Not only are we meant to remember the Doctor saying he has a granddaughter but not children yet in The Devil's Chord, but also this.

A small, dark-skinned girl dressed in a yellow flowing robe looks up into a dark and swirling purple sky as she stands in front of a strange concrete monument. It is the Timeless Child, the first(?) incarnation of the Doctor from TV's Doctor Who.

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Dale Smith @dalesmithonline.com · 20/04/2025

BTW: three people watching the Doctor's antics from another dimension, vicariously living through how entertaining he is? Where do they get their crazy ideas from?

Doctor Who's Gods of Ragnarök, three grey statue-like beings with large bulbous heads and blank white eyes. Gary Russell told us the three gods were called Rag, Nar and Rök. Presumably they always sat left to right like Ant and Dec are supposed to.

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Dale Smith @dalesmithonline.com · 16/04/2025

A movie that takes place where you're from

Poster for the film Jadoo - two middle-aged Asian men stand in the background glaring at a knife stuck into a red chilli in the foreground. I do not know what Jadoo means, but the film is about two chefs falling out when they open rival restaurants in Leicester.

010

Dale Smith @dalesmithonline.com · 14/04/2025

However, the poet they have hired to do the subtitles for this season is operating at the top of their game.

The TARDIS materialises at the start of The Robot Revolution, and the subtitles describe its familiar wheezing-groaning sound as "Engine in the Sky"

The TARDIS dematerialises at the end of The Robot Revolution, and the subtitles describe its familiar wheezing-groaning sound as "Engine in the Sky"

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Dale Smith @dalesmithonline.com · 10/04/2025

I'm old enough to remember when the Uk had its own version of Saturday Night Live.

Image of Rod Hull, dressed in pink top hat and tails, looking lovingly into the eyes of Emu, a hand puppet with long, glittering "feathers" forming its body. This comes from Emu's All Live Pink Windmill Show, which was real television and was really live, but was broadcast on a Friday. Still, beggars can't be choosers.

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Dale Smith @dalesmithonline.com · 10/04/2025

I know, I know, but there's something almost poetic about the way Google's AI manages to combine disparate pieces of information and present them as something so clearly wrong. It seems to have been confused by the line "think Black Orchid" in an old Doctor Oho review.

Google's AI summary for a search of "Marc Platt" "Black Orchid", which states categorically "Marc Platt is a screenwriter who wrote the Big Finish audio adventure "The Behemoth" featuring the Doctor Who character, Black Orchid."

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Dale Smith @dalesmithonline.com · 01/04/2025

Nicely played, nicely played. <Blocks>

A notification that Magic Skin Repair has followed me.

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