Sign in

dadvans | the winnipeg jorts

@dadvans.bsky.social
704 followers 247 following 1.5K posts

del. prev @dadvansss on twitter. 30s. PNW ↔️ MTL. 4/5 surprise poison bugs. we start the voyage home in our wounded vessel.

PostsRepliesMedia
dadvans | the winnipeg jorts @dadvans.bsky.social · 20h
imagine you publicly break up with your boy best friend work husband and then release this song on his birthday
opening lyrics to No It Isn’t by +44:

Please understand
This isn't just goodbye
This is I can't stand you
This is where the road crashed into the ocean,
It rises all around me and now we're barely breathing
A thousand faces we'll choose to ignore
Curse my enemies forever
Let's slit our wrists and burn down something beautiful
This desperation leaves me overjoyed
With fading lights that lead us past the lives that we destroy
000
dadvans | the winnipeg jorts @dadvans.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
Brian Kinney for reference
2003 shirtless gale Harold in a cowboy hat and ugly oakleys wearing an even uglier bracelet with shells on a leather band and the shells look like if a Georgia o keefe painting had a skeleton
120
dadvans | the winnipeg jorts @dadvans.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
intentionally bad edit of an old evgeni malkin tweet that originally read "just saw that the tomato - fruit?? true?" now reads "just saw that the (tiny font) actor playing Louis - good?? true?"
060
dadvans | the winnipeg jorts @dadvans.bsky.social · 14/08/2026
I did not stop drinking Bloody Caesars and head to my gate at 8AM for this on my birthday!!!!!!
Text notification that reads: Your flight AC304 to Montreal is delayed because we need to complete scheduled aircraft maintenance. It will now depart at 09:40. We apologize and are working to get you on your way.

To check your trip status, or to learn more about your rights when there's a disruption, visit flyac.ca/4qdjmeii
130
dadvans | the winnipeg jorts @dadvans.bsky.social · 06/07/2026
just wet, wet mud. bae.
from an I think you should leave sketch where it shows Sam Richardson shrugging with “redacted” in brackets, censoring the line “I honestly hope he dies” about the wrestler toilet truck who keeps using his soft picturesque romantic park grass for wrestling
060
dadvans | the winnipeg jorts @dadvans.bsky.social · 28/06/2026
hi eva this has nothing to do with your post but bluesky won't let me message u a picture and i saw this letterboxd review of the new jackass movie and thought of u
letterboxd review for jackass that says "1) a person near me was explaining to someone who spike jonze is and then zpike jonze showed up, a real 'that's chappie' moment"
110
dadvans | the winnipeg jorts @dadvans.bsky.social · 27/06/2026
I know in my heart another team had him designed in a lab to ensorcel and distract sid
Screenshot of instagram post on first round draft pick Liam Ruck that says “role model: Nathan MacKinnon” and “favorite food: peanut butter”
180
dadvans | the winnipeg jorts @dadvans.bsky.social · 26/06/2026
like don’t get it twisted, today is my first full day of freedom since I got traumatic butthole surgery a month ago and Tony and I are absolutely knocking one back at 3pm and talking about going to Vietnam and not coming back
A mostly empty glass of beer and a hand with an Anthony Bourdain tattoo
160
dadvans | the winnipeg jorts @dadvans.bsky.social · 23/06/2026
This looks like my favorite gal, Bootsie!
A tortoise shell cat named bootsie getting her nose booped in the beer aisle of the dépanneur
0130
dadvans | the winnipeg jorts @dadvans.bsky.social · 20/06/2026
so you'll answer this question but when **i** drunk e-mail you several years ago asking for your analysis on tom delonge from blink-182--
youtube screenshot of a professional accent specialist answering question "is there a lesbian accent"
090
dadvans | the winnipeg jorts @dadvans.bsky.social · 16/06/2026
your star sign, your Myers-Briggs’s, your enneagram— these say nothing real about you compared to your MTV Nextsona (I’m sadly always gonna be a Brett, 18)
Profile card of MTV Next (a mid-00’s “dating” show) contestant getting off the Next Bus, which says:


Brett, 18
- hates hand sanitizer
- obsessed with Nicole Richie
- pees outside whenever he can
080
dadvans | the winnipeg jorts @dadvans.bsky.social · 12/06/2026
Home away from home for however long it takes me to poop without almost dying
Hospital bedroom
270
dadvans | the winnipeg jorts @dadvans.bsky.social · 05/05/2026
I saw someone make this comparison and u know what they weren’t wrong
Georgi from Yuri on ice with eye makeup and lipstick that makes him look like he just ate grimace’s ass
110
dadvans | the winnipeg jorts @dadvans.bsky.social · 06/04/2026
the simpsons image of the sign that said “don’t forget you’re here forever” that has photos over letters to rewrite the sign to say “do it for her” but instead of baby Maggie it’s pictures of the dog laika
0241
dadvans | the winnipeg jorts @dadvans.bsky.social · 06/04/2026
The “don’t forget you’re here forever” sign from the simpsons with photos pasted over to remove letters so it says “do it for her” but instead of baby Maggie it’s pictures of laika
0112
dadvans | the winnipeg jorts @dadvans.bsky.social · 29/03/2026
not to brag but I was kind of the ITYSL 1989 baby of the year
Cutest goddamn baby you’ve ever seen in your life
060
dadvans | the winnipeg jorts @dadvans.bsky.social · 19/03/2026
mike white eliminated on survivor, my people are free
dw standing in the rain with arms open and eyes closed, feeling the rain on her skin no one else can feel it for her only she can let it in, no one else, no one else, can feel the rain on her skin
120
dadvans | the winnipeg jorts @dadvans.bsky.social · 01/03/2026
my mental state
an AO3 update on bsky about the site being down followed by a bsky athletic update featuring a gif of a boy at a basketball game melting down in the ugliest way
060
dadvans | the winnipeg jorts @dadvans.bsky.social · 27/02/2026
it's the same photo
rob rausch eating an egg like a snake eats an egg
110
dadvans | the winnipeg jorts @dadvans.bsky.social · 21/02/2026
can you believe this little dork is turning 15 this spring
the most handsome gray cat in the world sitting in his little car tower
2110
dadvans | the winnipeg jorts @dadvans.bsky.social · 18/02/2026
i love hockey
all of canada with a "say the line bart" expectation looking at bart simpson with a maple leafs hat who resigningly says "mitch marner" and then all of canada cheering
0349
dadvans | the winnipeg jorts @dadvans.bsky.social · 13/02/2026
MY WIFE MADE ME AN ERASERHEAD BABY LABUBU FOR VALENTINES DAY IM THE LUCKIEST MAN ALIVE !!!!
A labubu body swaddled in a blanket with the face of the baby from eraserhead
0110
dadvans | the winnipeg jorts @dadvans.bsky.social · 11/02/2026
huge life accomplishment and jumpscare when they mentioned my YouTube comment on the lonely island podcast this week
screencap of podcast text. 

Seth Meyers: somebody said this about Great Day: this sketch came out when I was in college and was having the occasional cocaine weekend and I would definitely put this on while cutting lines 

Andy Samberg: don’t do drugs, but I love that.
140
dadvans | the winnipeg jorts @dadvans.bsky.social · 11/02/2026
m got us one that looks like this years ago and it is the mvp of this house
reusable lint/pet hair roller
010
dadvans | the winnipeg jorts @dadvans.bsky.social · 16/01/2026
an angel lives with us on earth and his name is scrambles
the sweetest cat in the world with the most permissive squinty gaze the sweetest cat in the world again but with big almond eyes more open allowing a single pet from the photographer
2170
dadvans | the winnipeg jorts @dadvans.bsky.social · 06/01/2026
(teddy roosevelt voice) the light has gone out of my life @thesavbananas.bsky.social
email from Savannah bananas stating I didn’t win tickets in the local banana ball ticket lottery for 2026
160
dadvans | the winnipeg jorts @dadvans.bsky.social · 05/01/2026
whenever one of my teams is playing detroit
dean pelton from community saying "oh [patrick kane]'s in this?" while frowning down at a play program
1130
dadvans | the winnipeg jorts @dadvans.bsky.social · 30/12/2025
eating fried chicken and wife pointed out we are also dressed like fried chicken
wife contemplating her chicken wearing a sweater that looks like fried chicken Can u tell the difference between me and this fried chicken im eating
090
dadvans | the winnipeg jorts @dadvans.bsky.social · 26/12/2025
All the girls gays and theys in this little sports bar tonight. Ive never heard a crowd cheer louder than when they turned the subtitles on two minutes in.
1120
dadvans | the winnipeg jorts @dadvans.bsky.social · 26/12/2025
I would say come to the heated rivalry season rewatch at champs bar at 6pm but my wife and I literally had to murder bribe and steal the two seats we have and we got here 30 minutes ago
Outside Champs bar, bar chalkboard sign that says “CHAMPS HESTED RIVALRY 2ND FLOOR”
1160
dadvans | the winnipeg jorts @dadvans.bsky.social · 26/12/2025
every straight hockey guy with a podcast reviewing heated rivalry at the end of 2025
clip of kylie jenner saying "i feel like this year is really about like, the year of just realizing stuff. and everyone around me. we're all just realizing things."
0161
dadvans | the winnipeg jorts @dadvans.bsky.social · 20/12/2025
watching hockey drinking a Bloody Caesar at my Vancouver layover and they’re playing Avril Lavigne, if u cut me right now I would bleed maple
Bloody Caesar drink at a hockey bar in Vancouver airport
0140
dadvans | the winnipeg jorts @dadvans.bsky.social · 19/12/2025
the v/a for TLG is SO much better. meanwhile every woman in HR sounds like her
the GRRRANDMAHHHHH IT'S MEEEE ANNAHSTASHAAAAA drag queen from anastasia (1997)
110
dadvans | the winnipeg jorts @dadvans.bsky.social · 19/12/2025
He said this after reading Tough Guy
“Writers, like elephants, have long, vicious memories. There are things I wish I could forget.”
William S. Burroughs
030
dadvans | the winnipeg jorts @dadvans.bsky.social · 13/12/2025
happy 100 years to dick van d-slur
1131
dadvans | the winnipeg jorts @dadvans.bsky.social · 02/12/2025
tfw ur car overheats for the second time in a month and u are stalled out on the side of the road waiting for a tow truck and cancelling all ur afternoon meetings
guy who is going to be ok making a peace sign and closing his eyes in the drivers seat of his deeply cursed car
190
dadvans | the winnipeg jorts @dadvans.bsky.social · 18/11/2025
updated my work slack status to set serious expectations with business partners
work slack status is a moon emoji that says "mercury retrograde 11/9 - 11/29"
380
dadvans | the winnipeg jorts @dadvans.bsky.social · 05/11/2025
once again
bad mspaint drawing by and of allie brosh throwing confettin in front of a rainbow and smiling sun and sparkles that says MAYBE EVERYTHING ISN'T HOPELESS BULLSHIT
0254
dadvans | the winnipeg jorts @dadvans.bsky.social · 05/11/2025
Progressive W’s on the day Dick Cheney died got me feeling this way
schoolgirl from Cabin in the Woods holding an evil spirit turned into a frog saying “the evil is defeated”
0120
dadvans | the winnipeg jorts @dadvans.bsky.social · 04/11/2025
text from wife that says “In real life paddington is REAL and he’s our son”

My response that says “what could be truer than this”
010
dadvans | the winnipeg jorts @dadvans.bsky.social · 04/11/2025
how I’ll sleep at night after I kidnap the actor in the new paddington costume
Butters and Cartman from South Park. Cartman is dressed up as a robot named AWESOM-O to trick butters into believing he’s a real robot because butters has blackmail material on cartman he’s hiding in his room. Butters believes AWESOM-O is his new real robot friend and is snuggled up to him at night in the picture.
120
dadvans | the winnipeg jorts @dadvans.bsky.social · 02/11/2025
11th inning vibes
a baseball with a smiley face that says "what are you gonna do with that big bat? gonna hit me? better make it count. better make it hurt. better kill me in one shot."
0214
dadvans | the winnipeg jorts @dadvans.bsky.social · 02/11/2025
as always, the toronto sports fan experience
jake peralta pointing at a corgi and saying "do not blow this for us"
0190
dadvans | the winnipeg jorts @dadvans.bsky.social · 28/10/2025
shohei ohtani
velma from scooby doo saying "you stop that"
050
dadvans | the winnipeg jorts @dadvans.bsky.social · 28/10/2025
being in the office when work announces 30k in layoffs starting tomorrow and u are one of 3 people on ur team that survived the last time they did this
James Franco with a noose around his neck turning to the man standing next to him in the gallows saying “first time?”
3110
dadvans | the winnipeg jorts @dadvans.bsky.social · 20/10/2025
"Inflatable Costume Company CEO Unsure How Best to Further Civil Unrest, Ensure YOY Profits for Q4 in 2026"
A perplexed businessman sitting at a desk holding his head as if he has a migraine while staring at a report
2171
dadvans | the winnipeg jorts @dadvans.bsky.social · 20/10/2025
you ever forget something and it itches at the back of your mind, so you google "who wrote 'what a strange, sad day it's been'" and get whammied back a whole decade
An old ask message from the blog site tumblr where an anonymous user writes "one time i met chris pine in a coffee shop in central pennsylvania (when he was filming that dumb runaway train movie!) and he was wearing hipster goggles and this nubby sweater and he was writing in his moleskine journal and when i approached him he had just written 'what a strange, sad day it's been.' i figured this was relevant to your interests."
2267
dadvans | the winnipeg jorts @dadvans.bsky.social · 18/10/2025
me for 24 hours after every protest I’ve been at this year
Allie brosh surrounded by rainbows and sunshine and confetti saying “maybe everything isn’t hopeless bullshit”
1182
dadvans | the winnipeg jorts @dadvans.bsky.social · 08/10/2025
survived tube up my butt now we feast
A picture of tiramisu
490
dadvans | the winnipeg jorts @dadvans.bsky.social · 02/10/2025
we've been waiting for official H1B guidance at work for two weeks and legal finally dropped a 3 page FAQ that might as well be this image over and over
man in a car saying "I don't know what any of this shit is, and I'm fucking scared."
170