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Dad Jokes

@dadjoke.bsky.social
3.3K followers 359 following 161 posts

No politics. Only The Best Dad Jokes!

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Dad Jokes @dadjoke.bsky.social · 31/08/2023
The right is melting down over a fake Fox story that the Biden Administration is going to limit alcohol to two beers a week. Wait till I tell them it’s gotta be just two Bud Lights. It must be painful to be this stupid.
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Dad Jokes @dadjoke.bsky.social · 15/06/2023
#joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes #funny
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Dad Jokes @dadjoke.bsky.social · 07/06/2023
“Your underwear is much too tight and very revealing,” I said to my wife. She said, “Wear your own then.” :) #joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes #funny
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Dad Jokes @dadjoke.bsky.social · 02/06/2023
Ha ha #joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes #funny
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Dad Jokes @dadjoke.bsky.social · 01/06/2023
Who's addicted and who's learning #joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes #funny
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Dad Jokes @dadjoke.bsky.social · 01/06/2023
#joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes #funny #meme
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Dad Jokes @dadjoke.bsky.social · 01/06/2023
I already was having a rough day, and then somebody went and ripped the front and back pages from my dictionary. It just goes from bad to worse. #joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes #funny
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Dad Jokes @dadjoke.bsky.social · 01/06/2023
#joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes #funny
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Dad Jokes @dadjoke.bsky.social · 30/05/2023
A chemist froze himself at -273.15 C, and everyone said he was crazy. It turned out he was 0K. #joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes #funny
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Dad Jokes @dadjoke.bsky.social · 30/05/2023
#joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes #funny
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Dad Jokes @dadjoke.bsky.social · 30/05/2023
Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward. That's just how I roll. #joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes #funny
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Dad Jokes @dadjoke.bsky.social · 29/05/2023
Thanks for explaining the word 'Plethora' to me. It means a lot. #joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes #funny
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Dad Jokes @dadjoke.bsky.social · 29/05/2023
What did the fish say when it swam into the wall 🧱? Dam! #joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes #funny
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Dad Jokes @dadjoke.bsky.social · 27/05/2023
#joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes #funny
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Dad Jokes @dadjoke.bsky.social · 22/05/2023
A Mobius strip walks into a bar looking pretty sad. Bartender asks what's wrong. Mobius strip: Where do I even start? (Please repost if you liked it!) #joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes #funny
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Dad Jokes @dadjoke.bsky.social · 22/05/2023
What do you get when you mix human DNA with sheep DNA? Kicked out of the petting zoo. #joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes #funny
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Dad Jokes @dadjoke.bsky.social · 21/05/2023
What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter. #joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes #funny
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Dad Jokes @dadjoke.bsky.social · 20/05/2023
My boss really hates it when I shorten his name to Dick… Mostly because his name is Steve… #joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes #funny
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Dad Jokes @dadjoke.bsky.social · 20/05/2023
#joke #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes #funny
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Dad Jokes @dadjoke.bsky.social · 19/05/2023
In Tokyo yesterday, I confused the words "jacuzzi" and "yakuza". Now I'm in hot water with the Japanese mafia. #joke #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes #funny
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Dad Jokes @dadjoke.bsky.social · 19/05/2023
After dinner, my wife asked if I could clear the table. I needed a running start, but I did it by like 2 inches! #funny #joke #jokes #dadjoke #dadjokes #humor
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Dad Jokes @dadjoke.bsky.social · 19/05/2023
Al Pacino’s brother, Cap, is famous for his coffee. #joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes #funny
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Dad Jokes @dadjoke.bsky.social · 19/05/2023
#joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes #funny
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Dad Jokes @dadjoke.bsky.social · 19/05/2023
Our electricity company has just disconnected us. Now we are powerless to do anything about it. #joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes #funny
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Dad Jokes @dadjoke.bsky.social · 19/05/2023
Why do scuba divers fall backwards into the water? Because if they fell forwards, they'd still be in the boat. #joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes #funny
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Dad Jokes @dadjoke.bsky.social · 18/05/2023
Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon? The food is great, but there's just no atmosphere! 😁 #joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes
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Dad Jokes @dadjoke.bsky.social · 18/05/2023
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Hey." The horse says "Sure." 😁 #joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes
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Dad Jokes @dadjoke.bsky.social · 18/05/2023
People can be so annoying. The other day someone was telling me I drink like a fish so I had to tuna them out. 🤣 #joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes
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Dad Jokes @dadjoke.bsky.social · 16/05/2023
#joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes
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Dad Jokes @dadjoke.bsky.social · 16/05/2023
Ha 😆 #joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes
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Dad Jokes @dadjoke.bsky.social · 15/05/2023
A few decades ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have no Cash, no Hope and no Jobs. Please don't let Kevin Bacon die! #joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes
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Dad Jokes @dadjoke.bsky.social · 13/05/2023
Just been for my prostate exam. Got the thumbs up. #joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes
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Dad Jokes @dadjoke.bsky.social · 13/05/2023
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down! #joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes
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Dad Jokes @dadjoke.bsky.social · 12/05/2023
When will a priest laugh at your Friday joke? When it’s a Good Friday joke! #joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes
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Dad Jokes @dadjoke.bsky.social · 12/05/2023
What do you call a row of rabbits walking backwards? A receding hairline! #joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes
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Dad Jokes @dadjoke.bsky.social · 12/05/2023
Met a really attractive sky diving instructor. I fell for him. #joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes
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Dad Jokes @dadjoke.bsky.social · 12/05/2023
What do you call a sad latte? A depresso. #joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes
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Dad Jokes @dadjoke.bsky.social · 11/05/2023
Jim sent ten different puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did. #joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes
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Dad Jokes @dadjoke.bsky.social · 11/05/2023
What did the janitor shout when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies! #joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes
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Dad Jokes @dadjoke.bsky.social · 11/05/2023
I burned 2000 calories today. I left my cake in the oven for too long. #joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes
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Dad Jokes @dadjoke.bsky.social · 11/05/2023
#joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes
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Dad Jokes @dadjoke.bsky.social · 11/05/2023
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk I have a workstation… #joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes
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Dad Jokes @dadjoke.bsky.social · 11/05/2023
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky. #joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes (^▽^)
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Dad Jokes @dadjoke.bsky.social · 11/05/2023
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day. #joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes
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Dad Jokes @dadjoke.bsky.social · 10/05/2023
To the person who stole my glasses, I will find you. I have contacts! #joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes
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Dad Jokes @dadjoke.bsky.social · 10/05/2023
What did the buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at school? Bison. #joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes
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Dad Jokes @dadjoke.bsky.social · 10/05/2023
If Bill Gates eats American food and Gandhi ate only Indian food, what food does Usain Bolt eat? If Bill Gates eats American food and Gandhi ate only Indian food, what food does Usain Bolt eat? Fast Food #joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes
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Dad Jokes @dadjoke.bsky.social · 10/05/2023
I’ve been doing crunches twice a day now. Captain in the morning. Nestle in the afternoon. #joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes
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Dad Jokes @dadjoke.bsky.social · 10/05/2023
My wife rang me at the pub and said, “If you’re not home in 10 minutes, I’m giving the dinner I cooked for you to the dog.” I was home in 5 minutes. I’d hate for anything to happen to my dog. #joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes
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Dad Jokes @dadjoke.bsky.social · 10/05/2023
You dig, I dig, he digs, she digs, we dig, they dig. It's not a easy poem coz it's deep. #joke #jokes #humor #dadjoke #dadjokes
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