iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Beyond. It's literally a war in my head 24/7. Ugh. Thanks, hearing that means a lot. ❤️ I try to be, my brain just doesn't always like to be. They are, like Jesus. If I ever get rich, I'm going to use the money to start programs to encourage exotic vets and help people pay for their rodents.

000

Thank you. Haha, I'd have done the same tbh. Without even a second thought. I know. ❤️ He definitely had probably one of the best lives out there. Had me all the time. Was spoiled. Cost me over 2000+ which I'm still paying on, in his whole life. Lol But it was worth it. Everything was worth it.

000

Depends. The vet I took Kira to was $260. My friends and family on Facebook helped me raise the money. I've always been iffy with females because of tumors. Not that it stopped my last guinea pig, Zelda, who had one for half of her life and still loved till over 7.

000

That is true. He wasn't my pet though, he was literally my kid. ❤️ I showed him especially but all my other babies to everyone like a proud father. Haha My phone has only had their pictures as my home screen and lock screen. My lock screen rotates 15 photos of my babies.

000

Indeed. And I only left his side 3 days in his whole life and it's because he was in the ICU. I haven't worked since 2020 so I'm always home. Night owl and homebody. Lol My babies always got my attention unless I have to goto the store. But I'd take them if I could and they liked car rides. 😹

000

Yeah I know. I know I did all I could and waiting wasn't an option. Especially when he hadn't ate or drank for days, nearly bleed out twice from his teeth cutting his tongue. We ended up having to get a new car a few weeks later because the AC just wouldn't work ever again.

000

No worries! I know no one would like things in that kind of way. 😄 They are, and man, driving from Ohio (where i live) to Florida (in-laws live) always scares me because of the temp difference. Like I'm so paranoid from taking them out of the car to in the house.

000

Yeah. I don't know if they were weak from age+lack of nutrition from being sick cause he never had an issue before, none of my rats ever had teeth issues. Always told by vets how good their teeth looked.

000

Thanks! They so are, especially Zacky. ❤️

010

Online stigma def doesn't help with that. As long as I vibe with someone I'm fine with being friends. I don't even look my age, aging like wine lol Don't act it thanks to being stunted from trauma. 🙃 Most of my friends at my last job was 18-23. Only people who were into gaming, anime, music, etc

030

Atm these are what I have on mine that are on my wishlist.

210

Hey, I got your trade. I only have one Magby for the trade. These are the only duplicates I have.

Once again, no asking how I am when we get to the car. Just nothing, all because I got annoyed over her not doing just ONE thing while I napped. All because I didn't do anything when she was napping because I was waiting for her so we could tag team it. And this is why... I want to die. Fuck this..

000

Literally the thing I need most with my BPD is some understanding and more than anything, some show of care and love. How is watching your fiancé struggle that much when you haven't seen him that upset in a longtime love? Not to mention next day in therapy hearing his depression is 9.5/10. Yet...

100

Just a stubborn fucking attitude because I got annoyed she couldn't even at least clean up HER mess on the couch, HER coffee table. I don't know how you watch your fiancée be like that and not try to help. If I notice her off, be it sad or angry, I try to calm her down. Me? Nope, I dont deserve it.

100

And this whole time, I'm clearly not okay, I'm stressed as hell, because the owner can control if we get kicked out or not since we are month to month. I'm wincing in pain, struggling to get around without hurting. I'm so mad because of the dicks attitude and I get NOTHING from her. Not.one.thing.

100

I figure, well, it either breaks or doesn't. Breathing isn't helping. She's not helping, and all I can think about is cutting myself to get the emotions out. But I don't, instead I re-gauge my ear cause it hurt, I kick a crappy ply wood board till I'm exhausted, which doesn't take much btw.

100

And it happens every time the apartment needs to be cleaned. Every.single.time. So I bust my ass getting it done. The owner comes in & is a total fucking cunt & beyond pisses me off to the point despite being on a mood stabilizer I needed to get it out. So I tried to break a crappy piece of wood.

100

When the apartment was a total disaster and the owner was coming. Cause I knew how much needed to get done,cause I refuse to apologize for being so frustrated. My body feels like it got hit by a bus from all I did that day. What should have been doable required me to get my mum to help get it done.

100

Wow... just wow. "I am in love with you but I need time to think if I wanna continue this" 'Maybe you gave up on this relationship but I'm not' is what she said back in Febuary when my mental state was horrible like it is now. Doing this because I got really annoyed she didn't get anything done...

100

I'm tired of being around people who don't understand my mental illnesses. I'm tired of the lack of support and help to get better. Constantly showing you don't care to someone with trust issues from BPD is not the way to get that cycle to change and to be able to be trusted. I just don't get it.

020

Finally on my favorite Pokémon episode ever with my favorite, Haunter! 🖤👻

010

No problem! Always glad to help anyone if I can. 😊

000

If anyone wants to be friends on Pokémon TCG Pocket feel free to add me! 5719398940539771 Premium player so I open a few packs a day. I'm always up for fun battles if you want to just chill & have fun, as well as testing decks, or simply playing stupid jokes decks. 🙂 #PokemonTCGPFID #PokemonTCGP

230

Ah, okay. I got a spare normal EX version if at any point you wanted it. 🙂 Just lemme know cause it'll be there. I hardly trade unless it's for 1 star illustrated art.

100

I've heard the same, but in my experience, which is only four, my two from the lady lived the longest. The other two, Angel & Colby (breeder), came from a dad who was more prone to mycoplasma flare-ups. Angel had them often, Colby almost never had them. Kira had hormonal aggression, Zero had none.

000

Yes, it is! And he didn't show his age until about 2 and a half. Technically, a pet store. This lady from craigs list had TONS of rats. Guess she had a lot, and a local pet store went out of business and gave them to her. Unfortunately, like 4 of the girls were pregnant, and she didn't know.

000

Nice! Man I want that Mew, it's so goddamn pretty. Congrats dude!

Any certain Lugia you're trying for?

100

The Psyduck is so pretty! I hardly ever get useful shinies, useful to me, at least. Kudos though!

So now I'm just trying to relax, watching Pokémon (season 1) on her Netflix while playing Pokémon TCG Pocket. I just wish her furniture was comfy. Lol No couch, only cheap recliners that feel like they have little padding. 😵 No spare bed so it's either the uncomfortable recliner or no sleep.

020

For the first time ever, I left. At my aunts home. I needed to get out of our home before I did something stupid to myself because the itch was strong. I don't care to have more scars on my left arm, especially when it's hot out and I'll probably be in Florida in a week, which is hot as hell. 😵

000

Sorry for the 8 responses. Lmao I have ADHD and just end up writing books before I know it. 😹

Beyond loved. ❤️ He was my best friend, my rock, my everything, my child. The first pet I ever really loved and felt connected to. Connecting with animals and people are really hard because of my BPD. I spent so much on him to keep him healthy and with me. 2500+. He cost me $5. Lol The little butt.