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Akephallus

@cryptotheism.bsky.social
6.7K followers 186 following 968 posts

I study western esotericism for a living "they're like the Bill Nye of the occult" -Alfed Einstein

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Akephallus @cryptotheism.bsky.social · 2h
Hey man I know my uncle can lay eggs like Yoshi and throw them to solve problems, but he's like, sensitive about it. You really shouldn't have brought it up. You should apologize.
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Akephallus @cryptotheism.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Friend: I guess fuck sloops, marry caravels, kill- Me: Oh real quick, I just someone swear an oath against you. Friend: White? Me: White male oath yes.
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Akephallus @cryptotheism.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
When you consider a new worldview
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Akephallus @cryptotheism.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Miquella would tell you not to get the surgery. And he would call you brave.
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Akephallus @cryptotheism.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Baroque 2007 is such an enthralling experience
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Akephallus @cryptotheism.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Hi. I'm gonna stream Baroque (2007)
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Akephallus @cryptotheism.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Victorian Urchin: Oi Mx, I worked me little fingers to the bone but got two vapes and an iphone six Me: Well done chauncey, you get an extra hour of Angry Video Game Nerd this week. Victorian Urchin: (reaching for a hidden dagger) Only an hour?
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Akephallus @cryptotheism.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
I can't help but feel that something was lost between Mortal Shell 1 and 2. The new game lacks the jank of its predecessor, but also much of its creative spark. The first game has so many interesting design choices that feel sidelined in favor of an inferior sekiro parry.
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Akephallus @cryptotheism.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
NTA
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Akephallus @cryptotheism.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
I went to see a puppet show in the park and it was so hot I had a POTS flare up and nearly fainted. There was also a guy dressed like a Homestuck character in the audience.
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2008gayguy.bsky.social @2008gayguy.bsky.social · 18/10/2024
lady gaga... just found out about her!
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Akephallus @cryptotheism.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Ngl I think it's safe to call Adventures of Huck Finn underrated. This books reputation as required reading sandbags how fantastic it actually is. It should be discussed in the same weight class as Moby Dick.
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Sarah Z @sarahz.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Sex gifs
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Akephallus @cryptotheism.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
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Akephallus @cryptotheism.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Should I put this thing in a big slingshot and shot it into space
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Slideshare Gems @goodslides.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
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Akephallus @cryptotheism.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
If I was sexually kicked into quicksand I would smirk bc I know it's not like cartoons.
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Akephallus @cryptotheism.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Hitting a cart? (Face darkens) Like the bandits that have been plaguing my trade routes?
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Akephallus @cryptotheism.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
(Sloshes my wine goblet) Tell me more of this bad video game.
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Akephallus @cryptotheism.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
WE ARE LIVE WITH THE SURGE www.twitch.tv/cryptotheism
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Akephallus @cryptotheism.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
My recent move to Da Big City has made me 10x more social and thus 10x less intersted in Posting. I feel like I am able to put more of my energy into my actual important work.
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Akephallus @cryptotheism.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
[guy in a labcoat showing rapidly me photos] Lives in a hell of their own creation. Hell of their own creation. Hell of their own creation. Well adjusted. Hell of their own creation. Well adjusted but is currently creating their own special hell. Hell of their own creation.
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Akephallus @cryptotheism.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Ready for a fun night out? Friend: Before the uber gets here, how is the blade of damocles hanging? Do I look doomed? Doomed as fuck! Girl it will fallllll.
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USER WAS BLOCKED FOR THIS POST @blockedforthispost.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
heyyyyyyyyy *snuggles up to you*
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Akephallus @cryptotheism.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Mark Twain's rewrite of Hamlets soliloquy is one of the most charming things I've read in this year. It's a great microcosm of Twain's style. Lighthearted and playful over some seriously impressive literary flourishes.
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e621 tag bot @e621tagbot.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
spilled_liquid
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Akephallus @cryptotheism.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Corru./observer is almost too good to play on stream. This is a game I want to get absorbed in.
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Akephallus @cryptotheism.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
www.twitch.tv/cryptotheism Playing Corru. observer
twitch.tv
cryptotheism - Live on Twitch
Corru.Observer | Streaming the surge for 2 viewers.
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Akephallus @cryptotheism.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
(Looking over your shoulder while you look at art hyper ass growth art) Oh dear. I hope these young men find a curse for their condition. It- *takes a deep, emotional breath* -its good of you to care.
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Akephallus @cryptotheism.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
I'm frankly a poser for haunted puppets. I'm not cool enough to be a haunted puppet. (Looks around to see if any women will take pity on me) Do any of you fine young ladies have 1.10¢ for bus fare?
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scorpy @socpens.com · 21/09/2026
my papa Geppetto carved me out of this special piece of wooood
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ball blam burglerber @gaelicgalpal.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
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Akephallus @cryptotheism.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Getting into Lolita fashion has got me learning about the Chinese domestic textile market and international shipping logistics. I'm buying shit through a third party warehouser so I can buy direct from taobao at a quarter the price.
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Akephallus @cryptotheism.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Hey man whats up- (narrows eyes) you're age regressing by about two days right now, aren't you?
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Akephallus @cryptotheism.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Tonight at 5 I wanna play Corru.observer
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Sarah Z @sarahz.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Yeah I know a good number of these
A sign for “SubDog”
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Akephallus @cryptotheism.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
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Akephallus @cryptotheism.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Playing dress up again
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Hot Calc @hotcalc.bsky.social · 03/07/2026
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Akephallus @cryptotheism.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
Is he okay
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Akephallus @cryptotheism.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
Spent 11 hours laying this bad boy. Hope the pope enjoys it.
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Akephallus @cryptotheism.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
WE ARE LIVE WITH THE SURGE www.twitch.tv/cryptotheism
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Rachel Theresa⭐Cali Zughase @shamaness.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
she got a gig working for that chinese coconut milk brand that keeps getting in trouble for writing that drinking it will make your boobs grow bigger in their ads
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Akephallus @cryptotheism.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
I've been playing FF7 on emulator and I understand why every girl in 1997 was obsessed with Cloud.
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Akephallus @cryptotheism.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Tonight on twitch I will be playing my favorite mid soulslike; THE SURGE. 5pm Pacific. I am unbelievably excited to show off this bizarre little game and how it is secretly brilliant.
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Take Meowt by Franz Ferdinyan @wendysnowradish.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
If I was the bouncer at The Turtle Club I would have ripped Dana Carveys head clean off his shoulders
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Akephallus @cryptotheism.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
Watch my video. Join my patreon.
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Akephallus @cryptotheism.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
Twitter has now removed my ability to look at asses of any gender unless I download their wretched little app and send some pasty little twerp my government id.
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Akephallus @cryptotheism.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
Ever since I left the circus, you
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Akephallus @cryptotheism.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
And your phone has more of these funny images on it? (Swirls my wine glass) Well well well. How interesting. Proceed.
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