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Claudia Lonow

@crapaport.bsky.social
1.7K followers 137 following 515 posts

Played Diana on Knots Landing. CUT TO: COCAINE MONTAGE. CUT TO: TV writer who created 4 shows. CUT TO: indie movie director. CUT TO: death. She/Her

PostsRepliesMedia
Reposted by Claudia Lonow
Robert Reich @rbreich.bsky.social · 17/02/2026
What’s one way we can rein in ICE? We can start by boycotting ICE’s corporate collaborators that are profiting from the agency’s cruelty. Watch.
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Claudia Lonow @crapaport.bsky.social · 12/02/2026
Pam Bondi (the dow is 50,000!)
media.tenor.com
two women standing next to each other with the words twenty five thousand on the bottom right
ALT: two women standing next to each other with the words twenty five thousand on the bottom right
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Claudia Lonow @crapaport.bsky.social · 09/02/2026
I’d like to thank Jill Zarin for ensuring me I do NOT need to watch her on TV ever again. I’m sure she’ll be just as vile on her new Golden Girls rip off show as she was about Bad Bunny.
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Claudia Lonow @crapaport.bsky.social · 08/02/2026
New for 2026 -- resigning as "enough punishment" for participating in and/or turning a blind eye to sex trafficking women and children.
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Reposted by Claudia Lonow
The Onion @theonion.com · 07/02/2026
ICE Agent Scores Easy Win By Deporting Own Family
theonion.com
ICE Agent Scores Easy Win By Deporting Own Family
CHICAGO—Saying he couldn’t remember the last time an immigration raid had been so convenient, fast, or fun, Immigration and Customs Enforcement agent Mark Hammond reportedly scored an easy win Monday ...
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Claudia Lonow @crapaport.bsky.social · 06/02/2026
New pitch to increase the birth rate: men stop raping children.
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Claudia Lonow @crapaport.bsky.social · 02/02/2026
My Roman Empire is the Roman Empire cuz gender is a construct. I think this joke is 2 years too late, but time is also a construct so 🤷‍♀️
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Claudia Lonow @crapaport.bsky.social · 27/01/2026
Perfume is like a billion dollars now? (This has been a distraction from the usual horror show).
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Claudia Lonow @crapaport.bsky.social · 15/01/2026
Not hearing enough from democrats either. Trump has declared war on us.
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Reposted by Claudia Lonow
The Onion @theonion.com · 13/01/2026
GOP Adds ‘ICE Kills Everyone’ Pillar To 2026 Platform theonion.com/gop-adds-ice-kills-eve…
GOP Adds ‘ICE Kills Everyone’ Pillar To 2026 Platform
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Reposted by Claudia Lonow
ProPublica @propublica.org · 13/01/2026
NEW: Civilians have had apparent seizures. One had his eyes roll back. Another had ribs broken. “I felt like I was going to pass out and die,” said a 16-year-old citizen put in a chokehold. The government won’t say if any agents have been punished.
propublica.org
We Found More Than 40 Cases of Immigration Agents Using Banned Chokeholds and Other Moves That Can Cut Off Breathing
Civilians have had apparent seizures. One had his eyes roll back. Another had ribs broken. “I felt like I was going to pass out and die,” said a 16-year-old citizen put in a chokehold. The government ...
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Claudia Lonow @crapaport.bsky.social · 10/01/2026
I seriously thought this was an Onion headline.
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Claudia Lonow @crapaport.bsky.social · 07/01/2026
She hurt his feewings.
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Claudia Lonow @crapaport.bsky.social · 07/01/2026
Even though I knew it would happen eventually, I'm sad about it. (This statement goes for multiple things).
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Reposted by Claudia Lonow
Allison Gill @muellershewrote.com · 07/01/2026
NEW: MAYOR FREY: “ICE, get the fuck out of Minneapolis.”
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Claudia Lonow @crapaport.bsky.social · 07/01/2026
Every local politician needs to show up at these protests and protect their constituents.
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Claudia Lonow @crapaport.bsky.social · 07/01/2026
By @jonathanschmock.bsky.social
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Claudia Lonow @crapaport.bsky.social · 07/01/2026
Deadthefilm.com is HERE on dynasty.tv (best place to get it cuz they're cool and there's extra shit there), apple.tv , amazon and google play. YAY!!!!!
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Claudia Lonow @crapaport.bsky.social · 05/01/2026
You can GET D(e)AD TODAY!
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Claudia Lonow @crapaport.bsky.social · 03/01/2026
Deadthefilm.com — 2 more days till release!!!! January 5th!
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Claudia Lonow @crapaport.bsky.social · 03/01/2026
Deadthefilm.com is available for preorder now on dynasty.tv. Out on dynasty.tv Apple.tv and Amazon JANUARY 5th!
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Claudia Lonow @crapaport.bsky.social · 30/12/2025
I have developed an allergy to any perceived or even imagined "pressure."
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Claudia Lonow @crapaport.bsky.social · 29/12/2025
Is there anything one can do with leftover white meat chicken (blech) to make it tasty that doesn’t involve an unhealthy amount of mayonnaise?
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Claudia Lonow @crapaport.bsky.social · 27/12/2025
Which wife were they on?
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Claudia Lonow @crapaport.bsky.social · 27/12/2025
I bet his kids were rolling their eyes behind his back.
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Claudia Lonow @crapaport.bsky.social · 26/12/2025
You can now pre order D(e)ad at deadthefilm.com. Yay!!!!
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Claudia Lonow @crapaport.bsky.social · 26/12/2025
media.tenor.com
a man wearing a red shirt and a necklace is giving a thumbs up and says yes .
ALT: a man wearing a red shirt and a necklace is giving a thumbs up and says yes .
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Claudia Lonow @crapaport.bsky.social · 24/12/2025
Why will there be "scary ghost stories" at the most wonderful time of the year? I get, "parties for hosting" and I guess "marshmallows roasting" and caroling out in the snow... but how did scary ghost stories get involved?
media.tenor.com
the words it 's the most wonderful time of the year are written in red
ALT: the words it 's the most wonderful time of the year are written in red
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Claudia Lonow @crapaport.bsky.social · 24/12/2025
Okay. (But MK Ultra is legitimately from a long time ago, so they'd have to be older. I mean, I'm not young, here).
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Claudia Lonow @crapaport.bsky.social · 24/12/2025
If I was a sex creep pedophile master mind, I don't know that I'd keep SO MANY FILES.
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Claudia Lonow @crapaport.bsky.social · 24/12/2025
Merry Xmas eve. I think xmas music is, like, a yearly, capitalist torture experiment conducted by the aging originators of MK Ultra.
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Claudia Lonow @crapaport.bsky.social · 22/12/2025
Our movie D(e)ad is available for pre order on dynasty.tv AND Apple.tv YAY!!!!
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Claudia Lonow @crapaport.bsky.social · 20/12/2025
For anyone surprised by the Epstein thing, I'd like to remind you we never saw his tax returns either. Or an actual, full medical report.
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Claudia Lonow @crapaport.bsky.social · 18/12/2025
Is there a way for Warners Bros Discovery to NOT be sold to Netflix? Or is, like, all hope lost?
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Claudia Lonow @crapaport.bsky.social · 15/12/2025
Deadthefilm.com is coming to your tv. You’ll be able to rent or purchase on Apple TV, amazon, YouTube, fandango starting in January — or you can pre-order it right now from dynasty.tv, and get special features on the platform!. Kickstarter backers—check your inbox, the film is on its way to you now!
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Reposted by Claudia Lonow
Chris Jackson @chriscjackson.bsky.social · 15/12/2025
This entire weekend
in the pit
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Claudia Lonow @crapaport.bsky.social · 15/12/2025
brace. brace. brace. brace.
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Claudia Lonow @crapaport.bsky.social · 15/12/2025
what the actual fuck.
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Claudia Lonow @crapaport.bsky.social · 30/11/2025
thank you so much for watching!!!!!!!! For anyone else who wants to see the movie, it'll be up on live.dynastytypewriter.com until december 2nd at 11:59pm!
live.dynastytypewriter.com
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Claudia Lonow @crapaport.bsky.social · 27/11/2025
This Saturday! November 29th! Virtual red carpet premiere of D(e)AD! Buy tickets at live.dynastytypewriter.com.
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Claudia Lonow @crapaport.bsky.social · 25/11/2025
All in the Family open.substack.com/pub/oldster/...
open.substack.com
All in the Family
A chat with Claudia Lonow about collaborating with her daughter Isabella Roland on "D(e)ad," a hilarious movie co-starring her partner and her parents—which you can watch online this Saturday...
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Claudia Lonow @crapaport.bsky.social · 21/11/2025
I hope you watch, qt!
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Claudia Lonow @crapaport.bsky.social · 20/11/2025
Online premiere of D(e)ad November 29th! Live chat with cast and crew! Tickets available at dynastytypewriter.com
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Claudia Lonow @crapaport.bsky.social · 18/11/2025
Well, it didn't ruin it for ME... if that's anything.
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Claudia Lonow @crapaport.bsky.social · 17/11/2025
Timothy Chalamet is famous, but so was Robby Benson and Timothy Hutton.
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Reposted by Claudia Lonow
omgpodcast22 @omgpodcast22.bsky.social · 13/11/2025
#ReleaseTheEpsteinFiles Epstein Epstein Epstein Epstein Epstein Epstein Epstein EPSTEIN EPSTEIN EPSTEIN EPSTEIN EPSTEIN EPSTEIN EPSTEIN EPSTEIN EPSTEIN EPSTEIN EPSTEIN EPSTEIN EPSTEIN EPSTEIN EPSTEIN EPSTEIN EPSTEIN EPSTEIN EPSTEIN EPSTEIN EPSTEIN EPSTEIN EPSTEIN EPSTEIN EPSTEIN EPSTEIN EPSTEIN...
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Reposted by Claudia Lonow
The Onion @theonion.com · 14/11/2025
Did Trump Know Jeffery Epstein? Did you kill Jeffrey Epstein? Watch Jeffrey Epstein: Bad Pedophile now to find out: www.youtube.com/watch?v=XjhSoGcQhWU
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Claudia Lonow @crapaport.bsky.social · 14/11/2025
Weather app saying I should prepare for a light rain and/or flood.
media.tenor.com
a man playing a guitar in front of a woman with the words the city i live in the city of angels above him
ALT: a man playing a guitar in front of a woman with the words the city i live in the city of angels above him
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Claudia Lonow @crapaport.bsky.social · 10/11/2025
I support @lataco.bsky.social and you should too.
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