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Reposted by Count Binface

Count Binface @countbinface.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

How to deceive a human being. Featuring Elizabeth Holmes, Richard E. Grant, the unblinking CEO of Manchester City, the Labour party conference and Oxford Street. Read all about it in my brand new newsletter! countbinface.substack.com/p/how-to-dec...

countbinface.substack.com

How to deceive a human being

A handy alien guide to some dos and don’ts

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Count Binface @countbinface.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

countbinface.substack.com

How to deceive a human being

A handy alien guide to some dos and don’ts

931040

Count Binface @countbinface.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

Party Conference Season is here! But don’t despair. So is my intergalactic take on the week’s news. Get it here! countbinface.substack.com/p/tis-the-se...

countbinface.substack.com

‘Tis The Season of Rubbish!

Aka Party Conference time is upon us. And so is my intergalactic round-up!

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Count Binface @countbinface.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

Read all about it! My tactics, my strategy, my toilet-buying suggestions and (as if you need it) much more. countbinface.substack.com/p/exclusive-...

countbinface.substack.com

EXCLUSIVE: WHY I’M NOT RUNNING

Holborn & St Pancras will just have to make do...

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Count Binface @countbinface.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

I don't need £5 million gifts. But if you enjoy what I do, you can bung me a trio of affordable croissants (£3) or a Ferrari at ko-fi.com/countbinface. I'll do a separate crowdfunder for political campaigns, but l've reopened this just for little old me. Much luv, CB x

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Count Binface @countbinface.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

Riddle me this. If somebody donates £36 million to a political party and £5 million to its leader, how is the £5 million not political? Asking for a parliamentary standards commissioner.

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Count Binface @countbinface.bsky.social · 09/09/2026

You might have to turn up for the results of this one, Nige.

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Count Binface @countbinface.bsky.social · 03/09/2026

At what point does a British by-election get awarded to the silver medalist, à la Ben Johnson and Carl Lewis? Asking for a friend of a friend, i.e. me. #Clacton

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Count Binface @countbinface.bsky.social · 03/09/2026

An alien's take on the Bayeux Tapestry.

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Count Binface @countbinface.bsky.social · 01/09/2026

Can't get a moment's peace on this bloody planet.

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Count Binface @countbinface.bsky.social · 25/08/2026

Count Binface meets the press: GERMANY

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Count Binface @countbinface.bsky.social · 19/08/2026

Count Binface meets the press: AUSTRALIA

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Count Binface @countbinface.bsky.social · 17/08/2026

Thank you ITV and Good Morning Britain.

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Count Binface @countbinface.bsky.social · 14/08/2026

I came first in the Clacton by-election! Of the candidates who bothered to turn up for the results. Here is my victory speech!

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Count Binface @countbinface.bsky.social · 12/08/2026

For thousands of years, a solar eclipse has been a prophetic harbinger of a spectacular, epoch-making event. Just saying. #VoteBinface #Clacton

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Count Binface @countbinface.bsky.social · 11/08/2026

An American interviewer asked me about my political beliefs. #VoteBinface

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Count Binface @countbinface.bsky.social · 11/08/2026

You may have seen I broadcast a message to planet Earth from the edge of space. I thought it was equally important to speak to deep space about you and your lovely little planet. But I thought humans might like to see it too, so here it is. #Clacton #VoteBinface

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Count Binface @countbinface.bsky.social · 11/08/2026

I’m so grateful to have received kind messages from the next generation of humans over the last few weeks. This is from Edward, aged 10. Thank you!

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Count Binface @countbinface.bsky.social · 10/08/2026

People of Clacton! Show your support for me by putting a bin outside your house, one day this week, of a colour of Tendring Council's choice. This will be unequivocal proof of the success of my campaign.

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Count Binface @countbinface.bsky.social · 10/08/2026

It’s election week! At this important moment I would like to address your entire planet with a message to the people of Earth. And I think I found the perfect place to do it.

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Count Binface @countbinface.bsky.social · 09/08/2026

I don’t know if this really happened. But if it did, I salute you Alan.

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Count Binface @countbinface.bsky.social · 09/08/2026

I believe Clacton deserves an MP who will spend their time shining a light on everything the area has to offer. And why wait till I'm elected? I've been to visit one of the constituency's most stunning landmarks.

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Count Binface @countbinface.bsky.social · 07/08/2026

Oh I do like to be beside the Clacton-on-Seaside.

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Count Binface @countbinface.bsky.social · 06/08/2026

There now follows a party election broadcast by the Count Binface Party, And if I do say so myself, it's a banger. #VoteBinface #Clacton

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Count Binface @countbinface.bsky.social · 05/08/2026

53,800 of these bad boys are landing in Clacton. Ain’t they beauts? #VoteBinface

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Count Binface @countbinface.bsky.social · 31/07/2026

✅ Touring Clacton ✅ Visiting local businesses ✅ Listening to constituents’ concerns ✅ Hi-vis vest Make your Vote Count! #VoteBinface #Clacton

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Count Binface @countbinface.bsky.social · 29/07/2026

Damn. I was looking for Micah Richards.

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Count Binface @countbinface.bsky.social · 27/07/2026

Here it is. My manifesto for the 2026 Clacton By-Election. It's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Join me, clean up Clacton and let's make 13th August Bin Day! #VoteBinface #VoteyMcVoteface #YesWeTinCan

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Reposted by Count Binface

Count Binface @countbinface.bsky.social · 19/07/2023

Under a Binface government, anyone who doesn’t accept human-made climate change as fact will be sent back to school, from Year 1 right the way to A Levels, to see if anything goes in the second time round. #VoteBinface

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Count Binface @countbinface.bsky.social · 23/07/2026

@tgnprofessor.bsky.social Hi Andrew, can I DM you? I sent you one on Twitter. CB

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Count Binface @countbinface.bsky.social · 19/07/2026

Wayne Rooney to be new BBC commentator for Eurovision. #VoteBinface

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