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Cosmic Raise

@cosmicraise.bsky.social
359 followers 52 following 4K posts

Board certified douche canoe; fully accredited jackwad DMs open, I said with completely unwarranted optimism

PostsRepliesMedia
Cosmic Raise @cosmicraise.bsky.social · 17h
Do those legs go all the way up…oh, I see they do, never mind
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Cosmic Raise @cosmicraise.bsky.social · 17h
Pashing Smumpkins (sorry if someone already did this)
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Cosmic Raise @cosmicraise.bsky.social · 17h
Of all the posts to not be at 69 likes yet 😑
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Cosmic Raise @cosmicraise.bsky.social · 17h
In fairness, they do include the caveat ”we all shall die”
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Cosmic Raise @cosmicraise.bsky.social · 17h
KALI MA!!!!!!
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Cosmic Raise @cosmicraise.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
If you get an answer can you let me know?
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Cosmic Raise @cosmicraise.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Prisoner swap?
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Cosmic Raise @cosmicraise.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Y’all we need to get this one to 69 likes
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Cosmic Raise @cosmicraise.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
I had forgotten about this one, an all timer for sure
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Cosmic Raise @cosmicraise.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
You have to double bag it
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Cosmic Raise @cosmicraise.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
It’s depressing how accurate this is.
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Cosmic Raise @cosmicraise.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Is it a tank? 😂
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Cosmic Raise @cosmicraise.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Did they say why? Sorry if you already went over this, I haven’t been able to scroll much lately.
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Cosmic Raise @cosmicraise.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Wait, did you still get everything that was sent to kofi? And what was their issue?
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Cosmic Raise @cosmicraise.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
It doesn’t seem to present a hurdle to many other posters 🤐
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Cosmic Raise @cosmicraise.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
[11:58pm] IRON MAIDEN: (sick guitar riff)
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Cosmic Raise @cosmicraise.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
“Me too!!!” - every horny guy (including me)
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Cosmic Raise @cosmicraise.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
There’s gonna be SO MUCH butthole
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Cosmic Raise @cosmicraise.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Nice 😎
I dropped the 69th like
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Cosmic Raise @cosmicraise.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Same. It’s also a great non-gendered substitute for “you guys”.
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Cosmic Raise @cosmicraise.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
It’s nice to see that the courts still function -sometimes-.
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Cosmic Raise @cosmicraise.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Well, horny guys at least 🤭
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Cosmic Raise @cosmicraise.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Would have been infinitely cheaper to pay me a few bucks more and retain my skills and experience, but nope. Now I have a job I enjoy, make a shit ton more, and I’m a union member. And I hope this is exactly how your story plays out too.
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Cosmic Raise @cosmicraise.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
This is great news, but ummm…Alberta? TF are y’all doing up there? You’re supposed to be smarter than us.
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Cosmic Raise @cosmicraise.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
See what I mean? You know how to motivate people!
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Cosmic Raise @cosmicraise.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Was this a nonprofit? From my own experience they are great at cutting off their nose to spite their face.
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Cosmic Raise @cosmicraise.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Sure! Car insurance, right?
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Cosmic Raise @cosmicraise.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Let her cook!
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Cosmic Raise @cosmicraise.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
I think you’ve got your hands full 😂
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Cosmic Raise @cosmicraise.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
BOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! (complimentary)
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Cosmic Raise @cosmicraise.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
This is the most on-brand thing I can imagine from a Democrat
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Cosmic Raise @cosmicraise.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
It is indeed Thirsty Thursday, and I think I’ll have a drink
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Cosmic Raise @cosmicraise.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
You just know how to motivate people ( . )( . )
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Cosmic Raise @cosmicraise.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Aaaaand she’s at #3 😂
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Cosmic Raise @cosmicraise.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
I still remember the first time I dropped the 69th like 🥰
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Cosmic Raise @cosmicraise.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
I like the inclusivity of marking it with a giant dong for people who are not fluent in English.
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Reposted by Cosmic Raise
The Hard Times @thehardtimesnews.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
Rob Schneider Files for Relevancy thehardtimes.net/breaking/rob...
thehardtimes.net
Rob Schneider Files for Relevancy
WASHINGTON — Rob Schneider, once the famed pariah of SNL and star of such classic films as ‘Deuce Bigalow’ and ‘The Hot Chick,’ filed... Continue this tale
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Cosmic Raise @cosmicraise.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
Please give her her job back we can’t take any more!!!!!!! 😫
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Cosmic Raise @cosmicraise.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
I flavor blasted your goldfish, please respond
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Cosmic Raise @cosmicraise.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
NM, found it
m.youtube.com
What's Happening Inside Russia Right Now That Nobody Is Saying Clearly
YouTube video by Pyotr Kurzin | Geopolitics
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Cosmic Raise @cosmicraise.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
I’m almost afraid to ask, but who is that on the right?
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Cosmic Raise @cosmicraise.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
Let it never be forgotten that in troubled and fraught times for our nation, times that called for courage and conviction, and for the best of us, Apple stood up and said “not it”
Screen shot from Apple maps with Lake Ontario labeled “Lake America”
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Cosmic Raise @cosmicraise.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
“You cannot pick him for every one“ holy hell 😂
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Cosmic Raise @cosmicraise.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
Somehow when I went to FB to check my notifications, they shoved a post memorializing him into my timeline. Had to scroll for a little bit before the comments delivered. “Oh, was today the anniversary? I thought it was necks weak.”
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Cosmic Raise @cosmicraise.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
“Second greatest military in the world“ 😑
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Cosmic Raise @cosmicraise.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
I still have a reminder set for when I get in my car after work to check the highway for traffic, because they were doing construction on the highway that was causing backups like three years ago.
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Cosmic Raise @cosmicraise.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
I got one up there two years ago and it’s still there!
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Cosmic Raise @cosmicraise.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
See y’all there! At the meeting in Europe where we all will be, that is.
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Cosmic Raise @cosmicraise.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
You won’t even try it? It took me a LONG time to fill that 😕
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Cosmic Raise @cosmicraise.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
Fuck these assholes in their fucking asses. For you and for everyone else who will be hurt.
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