iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Cool Hand Luka @coolhandluka.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

drove through Seattle’s reddest suburb and saw a Christian-owned weed dispensary. even our conservatives are lib-pilled

050

Cool Hand Luka @coolhandluka.bsky.social · 07/07/2026

I’ve now seen Matthew McConaughey narrate pregame hype videos for every type of football

100

Cool Hand Luka @coolhandluka.bsky.social · 29/06/2026

just ordered a steak dinner at Dave & Buster’s. thank you for tuning in for “Rock Bottom with Cool Hand Luka”

3140

Cool Hand Luka @coolhandluka.bsky.social · 20/06/2026

by far the best decision my town made was using the Law & Order font for all the municipal building signage

010

Cool Hand Luka @coolhandluka.bsky.social · 12/05/2026

After coaching tonight’s Little League game, one of my players said he wants to be a coach just like me. I was in shock. Wiping a tear from my eye, I told him that our city and Little League Baseball Inc. would be out of their goddamn minds to allow a six year old to coach.

080

Cool Hand Luka @coolhandluka.bsky.social · 11/05/2026

to my son who just excitedly quipped his sister is like a “built-in car horn” while I forced her into her car seat mid-meltdown: excellent joke, but maybe now isn’t the time

030

Cool Hand Luka @coolhandluka.bsky.social · 10/05/2026

“Why is it called Mother’s Day? Why don’t they call it ‘Gummum Day?’” - my kindergartner, finally showing the courage to ask the hard-hitting questions

110

Cool Hand Luka @coolhandluka.bsky.social · 07/05/2026

I identify as ChatGPTQ because I’m constantly Questioning the intelligence of people who use ChatGPT

010

Cool Hand Luka @coolhandluka.bsky.social · 02/05/2026

my “2026 World Drivers Champion Oscar Piastri” preseason prediction doesn’t look so foolish anymore, does it?

000

Cool Hand Luka @coolhandluka.bsky.social · 01/05/2026

at a science fair and I found the most honest hypothesis in the scientific method’s 3500-year history

1121

Cool Hand Luka @coolhandluka.bsky.social · 19/04/2026

now driving through White Settlement, Texas, a town with what I assume is a very innocuous name

090

Cool Hand Luka @coolhandluka.bsky.social · 19/04/2026

a cool feature of Texas architecture is that every single house has the Lone Star featured somewhere on it this serves as a way for residents to communicate to their neighbors, “I also live here in Texas, just like you”

120

Cool Hand Luka @coolhandluka.bsky.social · 18/04/2026

at the NCAA Women’s Gymnastics Championships with my gymnastics-obsessed wife “men could do all of this better if they wanted to,” I seethe fatly as I take another sip from my 24oz beer

130

Cool Hand Luka @coolhandluka.bsky.social · 12/04/2026

call ‘em Walter and Jesse because they’re growing crystals

180

Cool Hand Luka @coolhandluka.bsky.social · 11/04/2026

I’d say my daughter’s bedtime routine is going well

150

Cool Hand Luka @coolhandluka.bsky.social · 03/04/2026

Issaquah Arco,,, welcome to the resistance

031

Cool Hand Luka @coolhandluka.bsky.social · 27/03/2026

hmu if you wanna split the Kansas City Great Wolf Lodge’s ranch milkshake with me

240

Cool Hand Luka @coolhandluka.bsky.social · 13/03/2026

If you’re cold, your town’s pioneering entrepreneurs are cold. Bring them inside.

140

Cool Hand Luka @coolhandluka.bsky.social · 27/01/2026

heading to St. Louis for a work thing, hit me with your top arches I should check out

220

Cool Hand Luka @coolhandluka.bsky.social · 24/01/2026

heading to an elementary school talent show

260

Cool Hand Luka @coolhandluka.bsky.social · 16/01/2026

don’t talk to me until I’ve had my energy waffle

150

Cool Hand Luka @coolhandluka.bsky.social · 22/11/2025

finally, a place to buy shoes like the ones they have on Broadway, a street most famous for its shoe shopping

160

Cool Hand Luka @coolhandluka.bsky.social · 05/11/2025

shoutout to the couple enjoying dinner in a Costco aisle (?) while sitting in the display office chairs (??) and putting their hot dogs directly atop the products on the shelf (???)

280

Cool Hand Luka @coolhandluka.bsky.social · 29/10/2025

carving jack-o-lanterns with two kids who are *very* particular about their designs while I have a sinus infection, what could possibly go wrong

020

Cool Hand Luka @coolhandluka.bsky.social · 01/10/2025

I’m not saying Jane Goodall fucked the chimps, but I *do* assume she could objectively recognize which ones were the sexy ones

120

Cool Hand Luka @coolhandluka.bsky.social · 30/09/2025

meet me at the Costco corporate offices if you want an ass kicking

360

Cool Hand Luka @coolhandluka.bsky.social · 24/07/2025

my son held up this tortilla and said “wow, this looks just like Dad’s back!” and it’s unquestionably the hardest I’ve ever been owned

1100

Cool Hand Luka @coolhandluka.bsky.social · 17/07/2025

I helped my kids clean their rooms the other day while we listened to some rock playlist. I left the room for a couple minutes while the playlist was going and uh long story short my kids are diehard System of a Down fans now

130

Cool Hand Luka @coolhandluka.bsky.social · 12/07/2025

Come to the Redmond Derby Days bike parade if you want to get your ass kicked in front of a thousand horrified children

140

Cool Hand Luka @coolhandluka.bsky.social · 03/07/2025

been in Kansas for less than an hour and my brother is already peeing off the highway in a field of tall grass, talk about tapping into your roots

030

Cool Hand Luka @coolhandluka.bsky.social · 03/07/2025

shoutout to the, uh, “forward-thinking” strip club employee who gave my kindergartner a baseball outside the Mariners game

150

Cool Hand Luka @coolhandluka.bsky.social · 28/06/2025

Once again, I foolishly believed my kids when they told me they were starving. Lmk if anyone wants half of a fish sandwich or most of a hot dog

020

Cool Hand Luka @coolhandluka.bsky.social · 09/06/2025

Killer road trip to @taylorshellfish.bsky.social with my dad and son today. 90° and nary a cloud in the sky. Kid ate 9 oysters, 3 geoducks, and a comical amount of ice cream. Poor bastard is gonna have the gnarliest shits tonight.

020

Cool Hand Luka @coolhandluka.bsky.social · 07/06/2025

Either Spitz just introduced jumbo size bags of dill pickle seeds, or the jumbo size bags of dill pickle seeds finally made their way to Seattle. In either case, my spirits are soaring as high as my sodium levels.

230

Cool Hand Luka @coolhandluka.bsky.social · 05/06/2025

Elon’s ketamine guy is about to become the second-richest person in the world

030

Cool Hand Luka @coolhandluka.bsky.social · 02/06/2025

[Dos Equis guy voice] I don’t always cook dinner, but when I do, it takes way longer than it should

0120

Cool Hand Luka @coolhandluka.bsky.social · 01/06/2025

helluva day for strawberry picking

140

Cool Hand Luka @coolhandluka.bsky.social · 26/05/2025

going to the tide pools today and I’m fully expecting to get so swept up in the excitement that I’ll neglect my children at some point

130

Cool Hand Luka @coolhandluka.bsky.social · 26/05/2025

My son’s preschool class brought home butterfly kits with two caterpillars in each kit. Pretty much every kid’s caterpillars liquified within days, so all the parents got to have fun conversations about death.

120

Cool Hand Luka @coolhandluka.bsky.social · 24/05/2025

sir are you implying you fucked my dog?