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Commander Sterling

@commandersterling.bsky.social
35K followers 130 following 4K posts

Stephanie Sterling. Writer for Vampire Survivors, Date Everything, & Quantum Witch. Transfem She/Them Polyantagonist. Also a pro wrestler. Currently accepting writing gigs for cool games by cool people.

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Commander Sterling @commandersterling.bsky.social · 5h
Also, I recommend switching language from English A to English B. The original game never localized combat-based voice lines, but Remastered clumsily splices in English lines from later games. It’s way more dissonant considering all the modern actors are blatantly different. English B undoes this.
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Commander Sterling @commandersterling.bsky.social · 22h
I reviewed Onimusha: Way of the Sword. It's got some of the best sword fighting in the action genre, let down only by the surprising amount of recycling it does with its own material. On the whole though? Great game. Read here: www.thejimquisition.com/post/onimush...
thejimquisition.com
Onimusha: Way Of The Sword - Oni The Best (Review)
Onimusha: Way of the SwordReleased: September 4th, 2026Developer: CapcomPublisher: CapcomSystems: PC, PS5 (reviewed), Switch 2, Xbox SeriesAs I might have suggested in my review of Samurai’s Destiny, ...
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Commander Sterling @commandersterling.bsky.social · 9h
For all the improvements, they made one really unfortunate downgrade to Dynasty Warriors 3 Remastered - you can’t knock enemies into other enemies anymore. It kind of kills certain movesets which relies on that kind of crowd clearance and I don’t know why they did it.
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Commander Sterling @commandersterling.bsky.social · 22h
I reviewed Onimusha: Way of the Sword. It's got some of the best sword fighting in the action genre, let down only by the surprising amount of recycling it does with its own material. On the whole though? Great game. Read here: www.thejimquisition.com/post/onimush...
thejimquisition.com
Onimusha: Way Of The Sword - Oni The Best (Review)
Onimusha: Way of the SwordReleased: September 4th, 2026Developer: CapcomPublisher: CapcomSystems: PC, PS5 (reviewed), Switch 2, Xbox SeriesAs I might have suggested in my review of Samurai’s Destiny, ...
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Commander Sterling @commandersterling.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
DW3 Remastered showed up. Suffice to say, I’m having a lovely evening.
Zhang He being a fucking legend as he inquires after the aesthetic qualities of the enemy camp.
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Commander Sterling @commandersterling.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Got a new video for you. It's ostensibly about Marvel's Wolverine, but it's more akin to a series of sharp kicks aimed at Sony's bollocks. youtu.be/5UQTABnglQQ
youtu.be
Sony's Wolverine
YouTube video by Stephanie Sterling
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Commander Sterling @commandersterling.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Is it any wonder Ubisoft’s executives are excited about AI game development? A virtual employee won’t report them for sexual assault.
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Commander Sterling @commandersterling.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
I’m honestly just disgusted. Sick of having to watch Alleged Intelligence and its fraudulent proponents recieve an eternal blowjob from a procession of grown adults who’ve torched their dignity, each craven gobbler pretending they can’t see the Emperor’s naked, prolapsed anus.
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Commander Sterling @commandersterling.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Only one of the words in “artificial intelligence” is relevant to the technology being described, so of course that’s the word they want to get rid of. Then again, the new term is now 100% inaccurate bullshit and deeply pathetic, which is at least thematically appropriate.
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Commander Sterling @commandersterling.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
I didn’t want to see the cunt when he was alive, much less when he’s finally dead.
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Commander Sterling @commandersterling.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Got a new video for you. It's ostensibly about Marvel's Wolverine, but it's more akin to a series of sharp kicks aimed at Sony's bollocks. youtu.be/5UQTABnglQQ
youtu.be
Sony's Wolverine
YouTube video by Stephanie Sterling
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Commander Sterling @commandersterling.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Several hours in, Silent Hill Townfall’s pretty good. It pulls simple but brilliant little tricks to make you anxious, and the environments are great. I’m not enthused by the gameplay on its own (it’s fiiiiine) but the theater supporting it has been strong enough to carry the whole thing so far.
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Commander Sterling @commandersterling.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
You can have a video tomorrow if you want.
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Commander Sterling @commandersterling.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
I’ll accept all sorts of surreal imagery in Silent Hill, but this much publicly available housing anywhere near the British Isles is pushing it.
Silent Hill: Townfall screenshot showing many “For Sale” signs.
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Commander Sterling @commandersterling.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Jake and Paul Logan shill for Prime Energy because it’s the only chemical that can burn the taste of boots from out of their mouths.
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Commander Sterling @commandersterling.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
You’re not a wrestler cutting a promo if you use generative AI, you’re just posting fanfiction of yourself. Don’t be the fakest thing in wrestling, folks.
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Commander Sterling @commandersterling.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
I’ve been asked, but no I didn’t get a letter, I doubt I’m on the radar at all. If Bobby’s tastes are anything like his friends’, I’m too old for him to care about me anyway.
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Commander Sterling @commandersterling.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
We’ve made the Internet slightly worse by releasing another cry for help posing as a “comedy” podcast: bostonfavoriteson.podbean.com/e/the-acoust...
bostonfavoriteson.podbean.com
The Acoustic Sessions | Boston’s Favorite Son
Jonathan is raw and uncut as he gives us his best Woody. Lockpick Ricky has entered the room and there's a new king in town who's all about change.
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Commander Sterling @commandersterling.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
I reviewed Marvel's Wolverine, a game that's rather mediocre and offers one of the most rubbish versions of Logan ever witnessed. Read here: www.thejimquisition.com/post/marvel-...
thejimquisition.com
Marvel's Wolverine - Old Bland Logan (Review)
Marvel's WolverineReleased: September 15th, 2026Developer: Insomniac GamesPublisher: SonySystems: PS5It’s an often mocked cliché that reviewers love pointing out when a superhero game “makes you feel ...
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Commander Sterling @commandersterling.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
I reviewed Marvel's Wolverine, a game that's rather mediocre and offers one of the most rubbish versions of Logan ever witnessed. Read here: www.thejimquisition.com/post/marvel-...
thejimquisition.com
Marvel's Wolverine - Old Bland Logan (Review)
Marvel's WolverineReleased: September 15th, 2026Developer: Insomniac GamesPublisher: SonySystems: PS5It’s an often mocked cliché that reviewers love pointing out when a superhero game “makes you feel ...
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Commander Sterling @commandersterling.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
I reviewed Serious Sam: Shatterverse. It's stunning in its complete lack of ability to justify itself. A wasted opportunity and the most tenuous use of the "roguelite" label I've ever seen. Read here: www.thejimquisition.com/post/serious...
thejimquisition.com
Serious Sam: Shatterverse - Dimensional Disappointment (Review)
Serious Sam: ShatterverseReleased: August 31st, 2026Developer: Behavior InteractivePublisher: Devolver DigitalSystems: PC, PS5 (reviewed), Xbox SeriesI like what story there is to the Serious Sam seri...
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Commander Sterling @commandersterling.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
I reviewed Serious Sam: Shatterverse. It's stunning in its complete lack of ability to justify itself. A wasted opportunity and the most tenuous use of the "roguelite" label I've ever seen. Read here: www.thejimquisition.com/post/serious...
thejimquisition.com
Serious Sam: Shatterverse - Dimensional Disappointment (Review)
Serious Sam: ShatterverseReleased: August 31st, 2026Developer: Behavior InteractivePublisher: Devolver DigitalSystems: PC, PS5 (reviewed), Xbox SeriesI like what story there is to the Serious Sam seri...
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Commander Sterling @commandersterling.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
Mystique’s ability to dispel cereal is one of her more obscure powers. This Mysteerios scene is a great nod to the original X-Men lore.
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Commander Sterling @commandersterling.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
Kokiri Village of the Damned.
Ocarina of Time Remake’s Link looks like he eats human skin.
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Commander Sterling @commandersterling.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
It’s been a long time since a game made me literally yell “YES” after beating a boss, but the new Onimusha is so good at making fights feel exciting. Even the easy bosses apply just enough pressure to keep you really locked in. Plus they’re just cool.
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Commander Sterling @commandersterling.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
I reviewed Aliens: Fireteam Elite 2. It's more fun-if-janky horde shooting with a big expansion made to player options and character building. It's pretty good. Read here: www.thejimquisition.com/post/aliens-...
thejimquisition.com
Aliens: Fireteam Elite 2 - Resupply Or Die, Folks (Review)
Aliens: Fireteam Elite 2Released: August 25th, 2026Developer: Cold Iron StudiosPublisher: Daybreak Game CompanySystems: PC, PS5, Switch 2, Xbox SeriesI couldn’t in good conscience recommend Aliens: Fi...
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Commander Sterling @commandersterling.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
I’m genuinely surprised. Usually when a site like that crops up, one of the first things users do is rip into my reviews. A site that judges trustworthiness based on a critic’s opinion lining up with the common consensus doesn’t match my reputation among The Gamers, which is interesting.
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Commander Sterling @commandersterling.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
The BBC has spent years attacking trans people, with a specific effort made to keep us out of the conversation so their dishonest reporting can go unchallenged. The BBC can offer nothing I’d want.
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Commander Sterling @commandersterling.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
The cinema had a lot of unsold tie-in tat from old films going cheap. Apparently nobody wanted an Anaconda bucket until Stephanie saw one for three fifty.
Anaconda tie-in popcorn bucket. It’s a bucket with a ludicrously big snake’s head for a “lid” and now it’s my problem.
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Commander Sterling @commandersterling.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
It was lovely. Just a lovely film.
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Commander Sterling @commandersterling.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
About to watch Coyote vs. Acme. As a big Road Runner fan, I’m pretty excited.
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Commander Sterling @commandersterling.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
Just saw a video that censored the word “shooting” in a conversation about filming a movie. We really are just offering up our entire language to the God Algorithm, huh?
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Commander Sterling @commandersterling.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
I heard there was genuine concern following my match on Sunday. Like, a friend who wasn’t even at the show messaged to check up on me. I’m okay. On an unrelated note, I scream *really* loudly.
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Commander Sterling @commandersterling.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
I reviewed the bizarrely rereleased Lord of the Rings: War in the North. A rubbish game back in its day, this pointless waste of time is even worse now. Read here: www.thejimquisition.com/post/the-lor...
thejimquisition.com
The Lord of the Rings: War in the North Legacy Edition - Piddle Earth (Review)
The Lord of the Rings: War in the NorthReleased: August 11th, 2026Developer: Snowblind Studios (original), AspyrPublisher: AspyrSystems: PC, PS5, Switch 2, Xbox SeriesWhy?It’s a fair question, is it not? Of all the two-bit trash to ooze out of the seventh generation, The Lord of the Rings: War in the North has to rank among the least deserving of resurrection. Something as bad as Too Human or Amy could at least meme their way into justifying a rerelease, but War in the North possesses neither th
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Commander Sterling @commandersterling.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
I reviewed the bizarrely rereleased Lord of the Rings: War in the North. A rubbish game back in its day, this pointless waste of time is even worse now. Read here: www.thejimquisition.com/post/the-lor...
thejimquisition.com
The Lord of the Rings: War in the North Legacy Edition - Piddle Earth (Review)
The Lord of the Rings: War in the NorthReleased: August 11th, 2026Developer: Snowblind Studios (original), AspyrPublisher: AspyrSystems: PC, PS5, Switch 2, Xbox SeriesWhy?It’s a fair question, is it not? Of all the two-bit trash to ooze out of the seventh generation, The Lord of the Rings: War in the North has to rank among the least deserving of resurrection. Something as bad as Too Human or Amy could at least meme their way into justifying a rerelease, but War in the North possesses neither th
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The ManSpyder @manspyder.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
BIG BIG GOLEM!
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Ross Reelachart @rossreelachart.bsky.social · 24/08/2026
"Bipedal torpedo" Amazing. Gonna use that now.
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Commander Sterling @commandersterling.bsky.social · 24/08/2026
New video! It's a retrospective look at Dead Island, where we give it some rarely afforded credit as more than just Dying Light's larval state. Though it's very flawed, there's a lot to appreciate Dead Island for. youtu.be/QacFNoo_lw8
youtu.be
Dead Island Deserves Its Due
YouTube video by Stephanie Sterling
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Commander Sterling @commandersterling.bsky.social · 24/08/2026
New video! It's a retrospective look at Dead Island, where we give it some rarely afforded credit as more than just Dying Light's larval state. Though it's very flawed, there's a lot to appreciate Dead Island for. youtu.be/QacFNoo_lw8
youtu.be
Dead Island Deserves Its Due
YouTube video by Stephanie Sterling
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Commander Sterling @commandersterling.bsky.social · 23/08/2026
Y’know what? When you go back to the Attitude Era, you learn that Rikishi actually had a great ass. Back then it was presented as a hybrid of comedy and horror. Today, it’d make people jealous.
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Commander Sterling @commandersterling.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
The Sinking City 2 delivered one hell of a sobering gut punch in an incredible way. I’ll describe it in replies. It’s not a story spoiler, but if you’re playing it, you may want to have the moment dawn on you…
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Sonic Yo-dead @sonicyoda.neocities.org · 11/11/2024
12) The theme from The Bill is a Castlevania stage theme
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Commander Sterling @commandersterling.bsky.social · 21/08/2026
I only learned yesterday that there’d been a Demon Headmaster revival in 2019. I then watched the entirety of it because it was legitimately great stuff.
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Commander Sterling @commandersterling.bsky.social · 20/08/2026
I got around to watching Return to Silent Hill and the best I can about it is that it makes me appreciate Silent Hill 2 even more. Y’know, because Return to Silent Hill is fucking shit.
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Commander Sterling @commandersterling.bsky.social · 18/08/2026
Still got it. Looks like tonsillitis at this point so now I gotta see the doctor. Yaaaaay! Currently my neck is swollen and breathing’s harder thanks to all the crud in my airways. This sucks, I don’t mind telling you.
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Commander Sterling @commandersterling.bsky.social · 18/08/2026
They need to remaster some old wrestling games. I can barely play the newer ones but the Smackdown series was bloody great, and I know many people would kill for a redo of No Mercy.
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Commander Sterling @commandersterling.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
So far The Sinking City 2 is… good. Like, a genuinely good game. I’m very early in, but the overall quality bump is impressive as hell. Hopefully it continues, I’ve been rooting for this one.
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Commander Sterling @commandersterling.bsky.social · 14/08/2026
A true classic of its era.
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Commander Sterling @commandersterling.bsky.social · 12/08/2026
We did the Not Good Thing again.
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Commander Sterling @commandersterling.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
I’ve had a sore throat for days. It was instant too, the other night my body was just “bloop, you have a sore throat now,” and thus it was. I think it’s getting better, but I’m still waiting for the rest of the cold I thought was coming. Feels like a crab’s been living in my neck.
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