colton @coltoeee.bsky.social · 16/01/2026them: you better not be the greatest donkey of all time when i get there my goat ass: 020
colton @coltoeee.bsky.social · 11/12/2025just found out there’s a movie about horny gay cannibals featuring parker posey #iclaim 000
colton @coltoeee.bsky.social · 08/12/2025sorry guys, my mind was playing tricks on me! does anyone wanna meet at the double r diner later? 010
colton @coltoeee.bsky.social · 08/12/2025pedal to the metal petal to the medal… pedal to the medal…… petal to the metal……… peter to the meg………… 010
colton @coltoeee.bsky.social · 20/11/2025i have very few five star movies but drugstore cowboy is easily one of them. van sant created a masterpiece with it and matt dillon is the sexiest anyone has ever looked on screen imo. i hope you watch it soon!! 110
colton @coltoeee.bsky.social · 18/10/2025does anyone know of any direct flights to kingdom hearts? 000
colton @coltoeee.bsky.social · 18/10/2025stream tate mcrae or take a picture in front of the billie eilish truck 010
colton @coltoeee.bsky.social · 18/10/2025lemme get a box with a black bean crunchwrap, a soft potato taco, cheesy fiesta potatoes, and a large baja blast. also can i please get some hot and fire sauce? thanks 000
colton @coltoeee.bsky.social · 18/10/2025oomf made the fatal mistake of casually bringing up nicole kidman in front of me… 000
colton @coltoeee.bsky.social · 12/09/2025even though you have only four people in your life to play with…. lalalalala 110
colton @coltoeee.bsky.social · 12/09/2025life is all about spending 300 dollars on board games in the span of 5 days 120
colton @coltoeee.bsky.social · 05/09/2025(looking off in the distance) getting some serious kubrikesque vibes here 000
colton @coltoeee.bsky.social · 05/09/2025have any of you seen southland tales? i need to talk about southland tales. someone talk about southland tales w me. 000
colton @coltoeee.bsky.social · 18/08/2025and just like that finale so horrendous i quite genuinely feel a panic attack coming on…………….. 120
colton @coltoeee.bsky.social · 16/08/2025you tweeted one of my jokes years ago and went semi viral so irdgaf also choke 000
colton @coltoeee.bsky.social · 09/08/2025i’ve barely made any progress bc i’m too busy smashing lol 000
colton @coltoeee.bsky.social · 08/08/2025but then sometimes you meet someone who watches like 2-3 movies a day regularly and youre like “okay so thats not what life’s all about” 000
colton @coltoeee.bsky.social · 08/08/2025sometimes i wanna read a book really bad but its impossible to find and it’s only months later i remember i work at a library that will order any book i want… just happened! 030
colton @coltoeee.bsky.social · 05/08/2025vanessa hudgens explaining her trip to europe: basically what we’re gonna do is france 120
colton @coltoeee.bsky.social · 27/07/2025accidentally invited two swingers into my bf and i’s apartment 030
colton @coltoeee.bsky.social · 18/07/2025so if alvin of alvin and the chipmunks fame has canonically seen pink flamingos, what else has he watched? where do we draw the line? salo? im sure hes seen it. wait why hasnt there been an alvin and the chipmunks movie in so long? is it bc the last one flopped? make a remake of salo w the chipmunks 000
