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Stone Cold Jane Austen

@cofactorstrudel.bsky.social
4.1K followers 6.1K following 13K posts

Just a passing housewife. NB She/They/Mum 🏳️‍🌈 Erstwhile esports journalist. Former otome game narrative writer. Former film makeup and sfx artist. Former I.T. guy. One day it'll say "author" here, but hopefully never "former author" Live cringe and die free.

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Stone Cold Jane Austen @cofactorstrudel.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
His own band left him ahahahahah
Instagram post from Irish band Beoga. Text reads: We have made the decision to depart as Ed Sheeran's band on the remaining US Loop tour, following the silencing of Macklemore by zionist lobbies.

We are a traditional Irish band who never saw ourselves playing in stadiums of that size and that opportunity is not lost on us. We have been friends with Ed for over 10 years now and will continue to be. We believe in dialogue as a means of progressing the plight of the Palestinian people.
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Stone Cold Jane Austen @cofactorstrudel.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
Look at this little fucking weasel
Part of an Instagram post by Ed Sheeran. Text reads: I am not complicit. I have my personal views on this devastating conflict. Just because I choose not to speak publicly, it doesn't mean I don't have them, and it doesn't mean I don't care. Nor does it mean I don't support causes in my own, personal way.
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Stone Cold Jane Austen @cofactorstrudel.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
Fuckin lol
Image with text: All supporting acts withdraw from Ed Sheeran's tour in solidarity with Macklemore

Three openers and live band for Sheeran's tour depart after removal of Macklemore over 'free Palestine' comments
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Stone Cold Jane Austen @cofactorstrudel.bsky.social · 20/06/2026
Don't act like you know me
Screenshot of blue text that says "YOU'RE NEVER GOING TO BE LYING ON YOUR DEATHBED WISHING YOU'D BEEN A BIGGER JERK."
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Stone Cold Jane Austen @cofactorstrudel.bsky.social · 31/05/2026
Two books meme. The thick book says "Pride and Prejudice". The thin book says "Pride and Prejudice if Mrs Bennett had a gun"
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Stone Cold Jane Austen @cofactorstrudel.bsky.social · 18/05/2026
Dorian Electra wearing all purple velour and faux fur, dancing with backup fancers in purple playsuits and silver thigh highs. Behind them all in giant letters it says "DADDY LIKE"
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Stone Cold Jane Austen @cofactorstrudel.bsky.social · 15/05/2026
You don't say 😒
Headline: Inquest told use of taser on 95yo Clare Nowland was 'excessive'

Above is a picture of Clare Nowland, an elderly lady with white hair
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Stone Cold Jane Austen @cofactorstrudel.bsky.social · 14/05/2026
I love how artists are like "just a quick little sketch" and its like
The sistine chapel from a distance
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Stone Cold Jane Austen @cofactorstrudel.bsky.social · 03/05/2026
How are you gonna be a fuckin' lolicon and also clutch your pearls about sexual content in LADs? I'd heard Snowbreak incels were trying to get LADs banned because they're pissed their shitty game hit EoL and also bilked them with one last event and blamed the CCP.
KanicDiscrepancies-02

"It's not pornographic"

Yeah right. Go gaslight someone else.

Followed by a quote tweet with a thumbnail of Zayne from Love and Deepspace lying down to get a massage.Twitter screenshot:
BTS come to ATLANTA! @kimirs15

If giving your lover a massage is pornographic to you then all the games you're playing right now need to be reported for doing basic things as well.



@JureatP

KanicDiscrepancies-02

Yes, a fully naked man, get backshots, and caressed is pornographic. And it will be reported to CCP. Have funA picture from JureatP Twitter that says "my 9 favourite students" with a bunch of anime girls who look like children
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Stone Cold Jane Austen @cofactorstrudel.bsky.social · 02/05/2026
Such a good question
A google search suggestion that says "why did Ben Shapiro eyebrows"
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Stone Cold Jane Austen @cofactorstrudel.bsky.social · 30/04/2026
I'd show you guys some of the new LADs event cards but...
YouTube message: This video has been removed for violating YouTube's policy on nudity or sexual content
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Stone Cold Jane Austen @cofactorstrudel.bsky.social · 19/04/2026
So one of the main reasons I've been writing and posting a LADs fanfic is because I'd really like to engage with readers online, but I'm still undecided about how I want to deliver my OG novels (e.g. trad pub, serialised webnovel, indie pub etc). The results have been surprisingly positive so far!
Screenshot of comment.

"Im loving this series so

MUCHHHHHH ❤️❤️😭"Screenshot of comment.
"I saw this on tumbir and was hooked from the get- go!! I already love the way you've written their dynamic, AND MC finally has a personality <3 thank god. (I know it's a fully formed character it's just so seldom I see an oc/self insert that has thoughts outside of the LI.)"Tumblr screenshot.
Chapter 1"

(Name removed) Reblogged your post

#hey so !! #I just read through this on ao3 #if you haven't go do that now #it's so peak guys #also Caleb makes an IT IS WEDNESDAY MY DUDES

reference #and it's actually well timed and comedic #actually the humor in this fic is so good too #please go read it please #pretty please #caleb love and deepspace #caleb xiaScreenshot of comment 
"I love this fic!! Can't wait to see what's next !!!"
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Stone Cold Jane Austen @cofactorstrudel.bsky.social · 16/04/2026
Good morning, happy Adult Zuko day to those who celebrate (it is every day)
Adult Zuko uko bathed in silver moonlight, shirtless because of course he is. His dark hair is secured into a high bun and his fringe frames his face, partially covering the red scar on his eye. He looks slightly surprised and maybe a little threatened, as though someone started reading out the Discord comments about him
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Stone Cold Jane Austen @cofactorstrudel.bsky.social · 16/04/2026
Man every time I think I'm not cutting edge enough to try and get a job in tech journalism I see something like this. Someone hire me because at least I know what a switch is.
A network switch (black box with ethernet cables plugged into it) with the headline "This $14 Gadget Lets You Add More Ethernet Ports To Your Router"
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Stone Cold Jane Austen @cofactorstrudel.bsky.social · 16/04/2026
The most constant thing in the entire Love and Deepspace fandom is how 99% of us would abandon the game instantly for a lesbian version. In polls the female characters consistently win over the male characters.
Person 1: Give us GALS Infold you cowards Girls And Lesbian Space



Person 2: Oh god please no. If there was a sapphic version of LADS it would be over for me I'd never have money again
I would move into a cardboard box 
Eat nothing but grass and leavesPerson 1: I know right I would abandon all 5 of these motherfuckers in a HEARTBEAT I wouldn't even bother trying to make space for both on my phone, bye LADs

Person 2: Ugh my bi ass could never abandon them but with how much I simp for women I KNOW I would whale for all 5 female LIs in addition

so fast (edited)

Like even LADS with the same characters genderbended would ruin me

Person 1: 100% like muscular lesbian Caleb oh my fucking god piledrive me jiejie
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Stone Cold Jane Austen @cofactorstrudel.bsky.social · 15/04/2026
Sorry LADs I have a new fandom now
The "Friendship ended with Mudasir" meme with the text changed to "Friendship ended with Caleb now Adult Zuko is my best friend"
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Stone Cold Jane Austen @cofactorstrudel.bsky.social · 15/04/2026
For you ❤️
Adult Zuko pictured from underneath. Hair is back with messy bangs framing his faceAdult Zuko with an open shirt and man bun, man spreading and presumably doing other unseen man stuff anyway he looks hotAdult Zuko with his face in his hands in his firelord outfit with long hair and the little gold crown
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Stone Cold Jane Austen @cofactorstrudel.bsky.social · 15/04/2026
Also this is how I discovered the new Avatar movie existed
A Discord post that says "Im going to take adult zuko and make him cum so much his balls turn into raisins"
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Stone Cold Jane Austen @cofactorstrudel.bsky.social · 15/04/2026
This will be a level of horny the likes the internet has never before known. They made agedup!zuko real. Brace yourselves.
Adult Zuko just the finest fucking thing you ever saw, long, dark hair unbound and looking shocked, presumably from reading what Ao3 is surely already writing about him
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Stone Cold Jane Austen @cofactorstrudel.bsky.social · 14/04/2026
I need her to kill me
Star and Stripe from My Hero Academia. A huge muscular blonde woman with amber eyes and biceps that can just choke me out until I die happy. In some panels she's wearing a tank top and ponytail and in others she's wearing blue with red amd white stripes on her chest and cape.
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Stone Cold Jane Austen @cofactorstrudel.bsky.social · 12/04/2026
The doctor called I got a new diagnosis
Heading says: Caleb Syndrome.
Instead of brain there is Caleb.
Underneath are two pictures of Caleb from Love amd Deepspace. He has ash brown hair, warm violet eyes and an expression that says he'd swallow your soul in a single unhinged bite.
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Stone Cold Jane Austen @cofactorstrudel.bsky.social · 11/04/2026
Guess whose doctors just shrugged about the cause when they were diagnosed with idiopathic hypersomnia only to be diagnosed with POTS like 2 years later
Idiopathic Hypersomnia & non- restorative Sleep

POTS patients frequently report excessive daytime sleepiness despite a full night's sleep. Some meet criteria for idiopathic hypersomnia, a condition that may reflect disordered sleep architecture due to poor transitions between REM and NREM sleep (Adra et al., 2022).
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Stone Cold Jane Austen @cofactorstrudel.bsky.social · 09/04/2026
Not that I care if they're good or not, I'm not into werewolf fiction. Well, unless...
Silver from Deadlock. She has a blonde wolf cut and is wearing a thick collar with a crescent moon hanging ogf it. She's dressed in brown leather and looks like she's my girlfriend and my wife and we are married. In thr background is a big werewolf snarling in front of a blood moon.
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Stone Cold Jane Austen @cofactorstrudel.bsky.social · 09/04/2026
I keep getting these ads. Why is the werewolf genre all like cuck porn for women 😭
Some shitty werewolf novel ad on Reddit. 
"The moment the Alpha saw me, his expression changed - like he had been searching for me.#The Biggest Werewolf Sensation of the Year

u/NRGoodnovel Promoted

Zara snaked one arm around his neck and yanked him closer to her, smirking at me from the bed. Ryan clenched his jaw, "Fated mates make each other stronger, Avery."

The text is laid over an image of someone skiing, for some reason.Liz Lemon saying "No, thank you, please"
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Stone Cold Jane Austen @cofactorstrudel.bsky.social · 04/04/2026
Yeah. The safe list isn't TOO small, just doesn't contain any of the condiments I like 😂 Iove soy, black vinegar, chilli crisp, fermented hot sauce 😭
Category

Vegetables

Fruits

Grains

Animal

Proteins

Plant

Proteins

Low Histamine Foods

Zucchini, carrot, celery, pumpkin, squash, broccoli, cabbage, Asian greens, kale, lettuce, rocket, silverbeet, corn, green/orange capsicum, leek, onion (cooked), garlic (cooked), potatoes (white, red, sweet), turnip, parsnip, beetroot, snap-frozen veggies (fresh frozen), fresh herbs (basil, parsley, thyme)

Apple (peeled), pear (peeled), mango, watermelon, blueberries, lychee, pomegranate, grapes, fresh figs, cherries (in moderation), apricots (fresh), plums (fresh), dragon fruit.

Avoid dried, overripe, or fermented fruit.

Rice (white, brown, jasmine, basmati), quinoa, buckwheat, millet, oats (gluten-free if needed), amaranth, polenta, cornmeal, corn thins, rice cakes, plain GF pasta, rice noodles, vermicelli noodles, chickpea or lentil pasta (check tolerance), almond flour, coconut flour, rice flour

Dairy

Nuts & Seeds

Fresh (not aged or processed) meats and fish: chicken, turkey,

lamb, beef, white fish (snap frozen and cooked quickly)

Eggs (whole-though egg whites can be a liberator for some), Collagen peptides (unflavored), plain gelatin

Cooked dried legumes (well soaked and rinsed): chickpeas, lentils, split peas (individual tolerance varies)

Birds Eye vegan chicken strips

Plain hard tofu or TVP (tolerated by some)

Hemp, brown rice protein powders (unflavoured or vanilla only);

Lactose-free cottage cheese, ricotta, cream cheese, butter (small amounts), buffalo mozzarella, goat cheese (fresh, unaged), halloumi.

For dairy-free options: almond, coconut, oat or rice milk

Coconut yogurt (for some, but these are fermented so tolerance varies)

Chia seeds, flaxseeds/LSA, pumpkin seeds (pepitas), sesame seeds, hemp seeds, almonds, macadamias, pine nuts, Brazil nuts (max 2 daily). Refrigerate & use within 3 months.

Fats & Oils

Extra virgin olive oil, coconut oil, sunflower oil (cold-pressed), ghee,

Nuttelex or other dairy-free spreads.
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Stone Cold Jane Austen @cofactorstrudel.bsky.social · 04/04/2026
Well on my way to becoming the greatest smut writer of all time, the feedback is peak 😎 (No, I'm not sharing it. I am wayyyy too shy, I don't want anything to interrupt my flow rn. May post it when it's finished.)
Gguuuhhhhh 😳

Uhhh yeah this is hot

Bro broke his own mind for protag lmao

SO YUM

I read it twice already LMFAOAND YOU WERE WORRIED ABOUT WHETHER THIS WAS SEXY OR NOT????!??!!??!

Underneath is like a wojack style drawing of one person with a psycho expression gripping the shoulders of another person so hard that they bleed.
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Stone Cold Jane Austen @cofactorstrudel.bsky.social · 04/04/2026
"please see here for this list of your favourite foods/foods you're no longer allowed to eat" Fuck my life guess I'll just eat Mascarpone out of the tub for every meal so I don't die of migraines and low blood pressure.
A table of high histamine foods: Aged meats: salami, ham, bacon, sausages

Smoked/marinated/canned

Fish: tuna, sardines, mackerel, anchovies, shellfish

Aged cheeses: parmesan, cheddar, gouda, camembert, bl cheese (any cheese but some may tolerate cream cheese/cottage cheese)

Fermented foods: kimchi, sauerkraut, vinegar, soy sauce,

tempeh, kombucha, tamari, yogurt

Alcohol: wine (especially red), beer, champagne

Chocolate, cocoa

Dried fruits: raisins, dates, figs etc

Vegetables: tomato, spinach, eggplant, avocado, olives in brine/vinegar, pickles, mushroom, any pickled veg

Fruits: banana, citrus (orange, lemon, lime, grapefruit), pineapple, papaya, kiwi, strawberries, raspberries, guava

Leftovers (especially meat and fish)

Yeast products (nutritional yeast, brewer's yeast)

Wheat (gluten)
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Stone Cold Jane Austen @cofactorstrudel.bsky.social · 03/04/2026
They're just trying to make me die of mad at this point
Promoted Reddit bullshit post "I spent $1000+ testing every spicy Al writer so you don't have to. Here is the definitive 2026 winner.

Al Tech News @AITechNews

Grok @grok

AI ANALYSIS

"Smut(redacted)stands out for uncensored writing due to its zero-restriction policy on adult content, unlike filtered Als like ChatGPT. It offers advanced Al for generating explicit stories... and modes like Story and Companion for seamless creativity"
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Stone Cold Jane Austen @cofactorstrudel.bsky.social · 03/04/2026
Woke up to this shit on Telegram and was too mad to go back to sleep for like an hour. I'm gonna cut sick, I hate this shit so much
A telegram chat window with a stupid fucking "✨AI" icon right on top of the fucking send button so they can pretend in their analytics that we're all actually using it as we accidentally mash it trying to send a god damn message I hate it here
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Stone Cold Jane Austen @cofactorstrudel.bsky.social · 28/03/2026
Charlie from Always Sunny in a court room saying "I'm well-versed in TERF law"
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Stone Cold Jane Austen @cofactorstrudel.bsky.social · 28/03/2026
Bro what the fuck
The official White House Android app:

Injects JavaScript into every website you open through its in-app browser to hide cookie consent dialogs, GDPR banners, login walls, signup walls, upsell prompts, and paywalls.

Has a full GPS tracking pipeline compiled in that polls every 4.5 minutes in the foreground and 9.5 minutes in the background, syncing lat/Ing/accuracy/timestamp to OneSignal's servers.

Loads JavaScript from a random person's GitHub Pages site (lonelycpp.github.io) for YouTube embeds. If that account is compromised, arbitrary code runs in the app's WebView.

Loads third-party JavaScript from Elfsight (elfsightcdn.com/ platform.js) for social media widgets, with no sandboxing.

Sends email addresses to Mailchimp, images are served from Uploadcare, and a Truth Social embed is hardcoded with static CDN URLs. None of this is government infrastructure.

Has no certificate pinning. Standard Android trust management.Ships with dev artifacts in production. A localhost URL, a developer IP (10.4.4.109), the Expo dev client, and an exported Compose PreviewActivity.

Profiles users extensively through OneSignal - tags, SMS numbers, cross-device aliases, outcome tracking, notification interaction logging, in-app message click tracking, and full user state observation.
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Stone Cold Jane Austen @cofactorstrudel.bsky.social · 26/03/2026
A screenshot from Dota 2 with player Cyborgmatt saying "Help! Game is hard"
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Stone Cold Jane Austen @cofactorstrudel.bsky.social · 25/03/2026
Extremely. A new myth released today that everyone has been waiting a long time for and it has this line even in the English release.
Caleb from Love and Deepspace as a Ghost King with long brown hair and warm purple eyes. The subtitle says "I'll offer my baby sister..."Caleb from Love and Deepspace as a Ghost King with long brown hair and warm purple eyes.
Subtitle: "Everything she's wished for."
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Stone Cold Jane Austen @cofactorstrudel.bsky.social · 23/03/2026
Cool guess my novel is just fucked then I'll start again thanks Google 👍
A google docs message saying "Can't open this document

Sorry, Google Docs is unable to open the document."
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Stone Cold Jane Austen @cofactorstrudel.bsky.social · 22/03/2026
Like look how cute he is???
Varian from the Tangled TV series. He has black hair and buh blue eyes with freckles. He's dressed steampunk stype with goggles on his head, leather gauntlets and a white collared shirt with a brick red vest. His arms are crossed and he looks mildly unhappy.Varian grits his teeth angrily, bathed in red light and surrounded by valve readers and levers
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Stone Cold Jane Austen @cofactorstrudel.bsky.social · 20/03/2026
Could not ask for a more pleasing response from a beta reader 🥰
A picture of a cow looking wistfully at the ocean with the comment "MFW I now have to sit patiently abd wait for chapter 2"
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Stone Cold Jane Austen @cofactorstrudel.bsky.social · 18/03/2026
I just had insomnia, I was SO dramatic
Awake again The clock is dead The ink of night Inside my head

It swirls like smoke I breathe it in In choking gulps I feel it grin

The monstrous smile The looming face The eyes beguile The night gives chase

It takes my life In shards and hours As sunlight streams My body cowers

Waits for the night To live again The dead can walk

In steps arcaneThe magic black The moonlight grey The night is mine It's my affray

I swing and kick As daylight comes Blood in my head It beats and thrums

The pain it screams In morning light I die again To wait for night
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Stone Cold Jane Austen @cofactorstrudel.bsky.social · 18/03/2026
Naw, I was basing it off this quote. It's just funny coz he obviously pulled a random number of centuries out of his ass and just happened to pick a time that's famous for people being introspective, because he's a stupid idiot who probably knows as little about history as he does about philosophy 😂
Stupid egg head billionaire Marc Andreessen saying "You go back 400 years ago"
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Stone Cold Jane Austen @cofactorstrudel.bsky.social · 18/03/2026
Pictured: my boyfriend
Bakugo from my hero academia. He has a spiky looking motif, a black eye mask with spiky blonde hair and some kind of...red and black spiky crest thing at the back of his head. He's got a black jacket with a neck high collar and double red buttons. He also has some kind of boxy metal collar thing that looks a bit like a missile launcher. His expression is cranky
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Stone Cold Jane Austen @cofactorstrudel.bsky.social · 16/03/2026
Seriously, look at this colour 😍
Beautiful loose weave fabric in warm pastel purple
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Stone Cold Jane Austen @cofactorstrudel.bsky.social · 13/03/2026
3 presenters.
Far left: weird hair slicked to the skull in a weird shape 
Middle: half dropped GHD curls over one shoulder, parted unflatteringly with no height added at the top of the hair.
The third one is fine, i guess, with a high ponytail that also has weird GHD curls.
The makeup on all three is unflattering and looks washed out.
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Stone Cold Jane Austen @cofactorstrudel.bsky.social · 12/03/2026
*Kid scribbling furiously on her etchasketch in the back seat* Me: Whatcha drawing, baby? Her: I'm not drawing. I'm writing a letter to the government. Honestly it looks pretty similar to the letters I write them.
A picture of an etchasketch with a bunch of random letters and question marks and exclamation marks
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Stone Cold Jane Austen @cofactorstrudel.bsky.social · 10/03/2026
Tumblr post by multi-fandom-lunatic

chat reminder to just write whatever the fuck you want. write that

overused trope. write that obscure shit that no one will have heard of. just. do it.
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Stone Cold Jane Austen @cofactorstrudel.bsky.social · 10/03/2026
A hero, really
An anthropomorphic cockroach with big muscles looking very cheerful
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Stone Cold Jane Austen @cofactorstrudel.bsky.social · 07/03/2026
If I had to say what's on my mind, it would be "Why the hell does my headphones app have an LLM in it that's asking about my feelings?"
A screenshot of a phone notification from Anka soundcore that saus "quick break? Ask Anka what's on your mind". Which is almost English, I guess.
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Stone Cold Jane Austen @cofactorstrudel.bsky.social · 04/03/2026
I always thought she deserved better while Carmen got exactly what she deserved 😂
Carmen's fuck ugly boyfriend from Starship Troopers. He has a bovine expression on his face and is wearing black body armour
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Stone Cold Jane Austen @cofactorstrudel.bsky.social · 03/03/2026
Her strength gone, she struggled desperately to fend off the weight of his sword bearing down on hers, his knee on her belly crushing the breath out of her.

"I bet you wish you could kill now, don't you, oh great god?"

Rin felt a hot spray obscure her vision and squeezed her eyes shut, turning her face as blood burst from the man's swiftly opened neck.

Kai's voice appeared from somewhere behind the soldier.

"She can still accept your sacrifice," he said coldly, shoving the corpse, which fell heavily to the ground.
020
Stone Cold Jane Austen @cofactorstrudel.bsky.social · 03/03/2026
Face
He held her aggressively, pressing his face against her. His hands gripped and squeezed wherever he could get ahold of.

Fuck, he was so hard. Why did she smell so good?

"Don't tell me that you don't want it. I can feel that you do, you're practically glowing with it." he said.

She shoved upward with one knee, sliding out from under him before pinning him to the bed by his wrists.

"Are you quite finished?" She snapped, glaring down at him.

He glared back up at her.

"I haven't even gotten started."

"That aphrodisiac has addled your brain.

You're too injured to even think about this. Look, you're bleeding again."

The fog in his brain swirled. Now that she mentioned it, his wound did feel quite painful. He could feel the damp blood starting to cool the fabric against his skin.

"If I let you up, are you going to behave and let me take a look?"

He nodded, agitated but defeated.
020
Stone Cold Jane Austen @cofactorstrudel.bsky.social · 03/03/2026
Historians say these two women were likely just good friends
Tesho snuggled in next to Ysa, putting her cold feet against the back of Ysa's warm legs. "Ay! You little ice goblin!" Ysa complained, but

she didn't pull away.

"I can't get warm. I'm forever frozen half to death in this place"

She lay her head on Ysa's chest.

"What am I to do when you are gone? You shall have your handsome new lover and I shall have to seduce a new girl every night simply to stay warm."

"Something tells me you'll be able to manage

it." Ysabel said.

"I hope he knows how to please you. You never did let me show you how to please yourself."

"Oh stop it, you lecher!"

"Why do you spurn life's most important skill?" Tesho cried.

Ysabel laughed.

"You will come and find me won't you? I might not be able to get a message to you."

"My love, were you hidden inside the Shadow Tree, outside the world itself I would find you.
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Stone Cold Jane Austen @cofactorstrudel.bsky.social · 03/03/2026
Most
"Nine hells. You don't know anything about men."

"What is it that I'm supposed to know?" He saw her reach halfway for her notebook, then stop herself.

"Nothing, it's just that most girls your age know how to please and entice men to get what they want."

She frowned. "I see."

"It's not meant to be an insult."

"You're not pleasing to men' is a

compliment?"

"How do you always do that?" he cried.

"Do what?"

"Take whatever I've said and extract the worst possible meaning from it?"

"I'm adept at negativity." she said.

"You think you're joking!"
020