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Unindicted Co-Conspiritor

@co-conspiritor.bsky.social

190 followers 661 following 110 posts

My face always feels like I've eaten a lemon wedge covered in hot sauce

Posts Replies Media

Unindicted Co-Conspiritor @co-conspiritor.bsky.social · 17/06/2025

Not to rain on your parade, but did anyone actually tell us how to get… how to get to Sesame Street?

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Unindicted Co-Conspiritor @co-conspiritor.bsky.social · 07/06/2025

International symbol of ‘I might have another sandwich’

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Unindicted Co-Conspiritor @co-conspiritor.bsky.social · 10/05/2025

Overhead at the Met Gala Ball; Hannibal Lecter … who are you wearing?

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Unindicted Co-Conspiritor @co-conspiritor.bsky.social · 29/03/2025

Pants are for pussys dicks and assholes

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Unindicted Co-Conspiritor @co-conspiritor.bsky.social · 17/02/2025

I swear after you give me this lobotomy I’ll never ask for a favor again

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Unindicted Co-Conspiritor @co-conspiritor.bsky.social · 15/02/2025

I love my wife even more after she told me she thought the song ‘Material Girl’ was all about sewing

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Unindicted Co-Conspiritor @co-conspiritor.bsky.social · 01/01/2025

I got here at 11:12, are the doors closed?

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Unindicted Co-Conspiritor @co-conspiritor.bsky.social · 21/12/2024

@bethh.bsky.social linger on your pale blue eyes

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Unindicted Co-Conspiritor @co-conspiritor.bsky.social · 15/12/2024

Don’t listen to any one, what doesn’t kill you will chop off your legs and challenge you to kickball tomorrow

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Unindicted Co-Conspiritor @co-conspiritor.bsky.social · 07/12/2024

Everyone knows all caterpillars are sinners who commit crimes and go into hiding and then come out in disguise from the witness protection program

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Unindicted Co-Conspiritor @co-conspiritor.bsky.social · 22/11/2024

I’m feeling happy What the fuck did I forget

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Unindicted Co-Conspiritor @co-conspiritor.bsky.social · 16/11/2024

When people ask my wife the secret to a long happy relationship, she always says “mutual respect.” But she is wrong because she’s a big dummy.

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Unindicted Co-Conspiritor @co-conspiritor.bsky.social · 16/11/2024

Socks are the new napkins

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Unindicted Co-Conspiritor @co-conspiritor.bsky.social · 15/11/2024

Answer every phone call with ‘I told you to never call me here’

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Unindicted Co-Conspiritor @co-conspiritor.bsky.social · 15/11/2024

I need to get to sleep I’ve passed this same pig with sparklers and roller skates three times now

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