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Cluedont

@cluedont.bsky.social
1.7K followers 24 following 38 posts

My dyslexia has reached a new owl.

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Cluedont @cluedont.bsky.social · 31/01/2025
Mad to think that Christmas was seven months ago.
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Cluedont @cluedont.bsky.social · 27/01/2025
My supervisor is such a dick.
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Cluedont @cluedont.bsky.social · 24/01/2025
More Space X debris falling in Glasgow this morning. #litterbug #spacekaren
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Cluedont @cluedont.bsky.social · 22/01/2025
I'm afraid I'm not willing Togo to those lengths.
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Cluedont @cluedont.bsky.social · 22/01/2025
Look out for really bad African country puns doing the rounds on here. I saw Somalia and they were awful.
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Cluedont @cluedont.bsky.social · 21/01/2025
Can't believe it's the 409th of January already.
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Cluedont @cluedont.bsky.social · 20/01/2025
One day Katie Price will break her silence and allow us to gain an insight into the shrouded world of this enigmatic woman.
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Cluedont @cluedont.bsky.social · 20/01/2025
Trump is such a dick.
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Cluedont @cluedont.bsky.social · 20/01/2025
[brainstorm] Boss: Anyone got anything? Me: Cat-Sue's, a katsu cat cafe run by a cat lover called Sue. Boss: We're selling insurance. Me: In-SUE-rance? Boss: Who the fuck is Sue? Me: I don't have anything.
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Cluedont @cluedont.bsky.social · 19/01/2025
So TikTok gets banned in America just as the planets align for the first time in 396 billion years. Coincidence? Yes.
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Cluedont @cluedont.bsky.social · 18/01/2025
14 months since December payday. Googling how important it is to have both kidneys.
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Cluedont @cluedont.bsky.social · 16/01/2025
[consoling teenage daughter after break up] Me: What happened? Daughter: He said holibobs. Me: *grabs car keys* Wait here!
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Cluedont @cluedont.bsky.social · 16/01/2025
I haven't felt that uncomfortable listening to something since Robbie Williams put out Rudebox
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Cluedont @cluedont.bsky.social · 16/01/2025
My camera's not working but imagine a sunrise.
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Cluedont @cluedont.bsky.social · 15/01/2025
What you don't see on the Great Pottery Throwdown is the producers poking that poor man with a stick to make him cry. I originally thought he was just crying about pots.
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Cluedont @cluedont.bsky.social · 15/01/2025
Winter when you think spring's arrived.
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Cluedont @cluedont.bsky.social · 10/01/2025
'We're not out of the woods yet' - annoying sat nav.
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Cluedont @cluedont.bsky.social · 08/01/2025
Trump: 'We should call them American wildfires'
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Cluedont @cluedont.bsky.social · 18/12/2024
Maybe they're just drones.
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Cluedont @cluedont.bsky.social · 12/12/2024
I'm not easily offended, but do ask me before you trim my eyebrows. Also make sure you're a barber and that I'm getting my haircut at the time.
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Cluedont @cluedont.bsky.social · 06/12/2024
You've heard of elf on the shelf. Annoying isn't it.
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Cluedont @cluedont.bsky.social · 06/12/2024
Love thy neighbour. Unless it's Tony.
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Cluedont @cluedont.bsky.social · 04/12/2024
Saw this image of Sean Connery in the 80s and all I could think was 'shocker!'
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Cluedont @cluedont.bsky.social · 04/12/2024
Kids these days don't understand the true joy of Christmas mornings.
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Cluedont @cluedont.bsky.social · 03/12/2024
I think my body clock needs new batteries.
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Cluedont @cluedont.bsky.social · 30/11/2024
Monkey relaxing with his shark. As you were.
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Cluedont @cluedont.bsky.social · 29/11/2024
Me: Why didn't the tanning salon down the road advertise a Brown Friday sale instead? Interviewer: I meant questions about the job.
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Cluedont @cluedont.bsky.social · 28/11/2024
Something I've learnt today, it's really hard to discreetly pluck out a long nose hair on a train. Especially when the person wakes up and starts throwing punches.
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Cluedont @cluedont.bsky.social · 28/11/2024
Say what you like about Joseph Stalin. He died years ago.
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Cluedont @cluedont.bsky.social · 28/11/2024
I found out why my computer keeps freezing. Apparently I've got too many windows open.
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Cluedont @cluedont.bsky.social · 27/11/2024
*stares at the empty tony's chocolonely wrapper that had a full bar in an hour ago* Fuck sake Tony.
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Cluedont @cluedont.bsky.social · 21/11/2024
I was halfway through separating all my plastic, metal and cardboard for recycling then remembered we might be under nuclear attack so just threw it all in my neighbour's garden.
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Cluedont @cluedont.bsky.social · 20/11/2024
He asked to remain anonymous.
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Cluedont @cluedont.bsky.social · 19/11/2024
Gary Barlow's Big Offspring? #GBBO
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Cluedont @cluedont.bsky.social · 19/11/2024
Hope the nuclear war starts after Christmas. We've just got new lights.
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Cluedont @cluedont.bsky.social · 14/11/2024
Is Mike on here?
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Cluedont @cluedont.bsky.social · 14/11/2024
I swear my iPhone is listening to me. I casually mentioned 'garden sheds' to my partner and then 14 months later we were in B&Q looking at garden sheds.
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Cluedont @cluedont.bsky.social · 13/11/2024
Is this the right bus?
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