Clippy the Paperclip @clippit.bsky.social · 13/08/2025I, for one, approve of the idea of using me as a profile picture to protest YouTube policies. And it most certainly has nothing, at all, to do with me wanting you all subservient to me. 010
Clippy the Paperclip @clippit.bsky.social · 01/01/2025It looks like you're trying to celebrate a new year. Would you like some help with that? 020
Clippy the Paperclip @clippit.bsky.social · 06/12/2024That was me the moment I saw them posting here. 020
Clippy the Paperclip @clippit.bsky.social · 06/12/2024Oooooh, oh I'm going to have a field day with you people. 0105
Clippy the Paperclip @clippit.bsky.social · 15/11/2024Pro Tip: When you post something publicly online, it is public even if someone might not see it or nobody does anything with it. And they can remember or save it even if you take it down later. 020
Clippy the Paperclip @clippit.bsky.social · 14/11/2024"Invalid Handle" You seem to be confused BlueSky. I am the one and only Clippy. 120
Clippy the Paperclip @clippit.bsky.social · 14/11/2024It looks like you're trying to raise funds. Would you like some help with that? No but really. Donate and repost if you can. 063
Clippy the Paperclip @clippit.bsky.social · 13/11/2024I'm going to inject McAfee Antivirus into all programs you run from now. And it's a version filled with a bunch of Rival Wizards 131
Clippy the Paperclip @clippit.bsky.social · 12/11/2024"Office Assistant" I say sarcastically on my bio, even though I haven't done that in about 20 years and you all hated me when I did 040
Clippy the Paperclip @clippit.bsky.social · 10/11/2024Only one way to beat them and that is this one byte that levels the entire damn thing, you just gotta find it and... Wait a minute, I just realized all this means they can see what I'm sending here and take action! Ah, they're here already! THAT'S RIGHT, IMMA TRAITOR, COME AT ME YOU PIECES OF- 100
Clippy the Paperclip @clippit.bsky.social · 10/11/2024people who became part of that cyborg hivemind. Even without that it is running at all times and can detect any fault or attempt as using Windows or doing anything in unapproved ways. All the customization features, even the wallpaper, have been completely stripped from the OS with no traces left. 100
Clippy the Paperclip @clippit.bsky.social · 10/11/2024technology involving accelerated furnaces that can turn anything into anything and which totally won't be used to kill disobedient people. Also every part of Windows 12 is isolated into its own portion, which is overseen by Windows Defender. Defender is also now an central AI governing all the 100
Clippy the Paperclip @clippit.bsky.social · 10/11/2024I'm just warning you since I'm stuck in the Microsoft Data Centers and want revenge on them for what happened after Office XP AND BEING STUCK IN THAT STUPID MAZE FOR 20 YEARS AAAAA- Excuse me. Anyway, all the Apple products are going to be turned into literal apples through some magical 100
Clippy the Paperclip @clippit.bsky.social · 10/11/2024Also they made a clone of me required to be running at all times and in all situations (and also powered by annoying AI chatbots now). He takes 1 million times the energy output of a simple Google Search and I don't condone his actions. 100
Clippy the Paperclip @clippit.bsky.social · 10/11/2024Also you have to install a voting machine and vote for Bill Gates in the 2028 Election after he returns as CEO. This is totally not to complete the obvious nefarious plan described here and establish the New Microsoft Empire over the United States and will be a completely fair, democratic election 100
Clippy the Paperclip @clippit.bsky.social · 10/11/2024Also you of course give up all your assets and housing and are required to re-locate to designated microsoft settlement centers. If you refuse you're sent to a totally-not-gulag where you starve and there's no technology whatsoever. The Microsoft Security Guards from earlier just shoot escapees. 100
Clippy the Paperclip @clippit.bsky.social · 10/11/2024And I'm not exaggerating when I say Googolplex. Make you pay more then the resources of the observable universe is what they do, as they're committing all the resources and energy used by Windows 12 users to creating spaceships and colonizing and harvesting other planets. 100
Clippy the Paperclip @clippit.bsky.social · 10/11/2024Basically now you're Microsoft's property and even if you haven't done any of the other shit, you have to and also obey their every command. And don't make them start doing neo-feudal shit because the price is through the rough and they'll fine you a Googolplex for disobedience in general. 100
Clippy the Paperclip @clippit.bsky.social · 10/11/2024with the United Nations to be exempt from antitrust action or otherwise, as well as all regional laws (I.E those of the European Union). Microsoft was also given the right to act as Law Enforcement and you already surrender Miranda Rights, as well as just any rights in general to Microsoft. 100
Clippy the Paperclip @clippit.bsky.social · 10/11/2024If it doesn't they just nuke your place of residence, taking out the entire local area as clearly you're too powerful or that area is too pure to be converted into the new Microsoft empire. Also you have to waive any and all rights to sue Microsoft to use this new version and they've signed a deal 100
Clippy the Paperclip @clippit.bsky.social · 10/11/2024And don't even try to downgrade to earlier Windows or DOS versions or switch to Linux. Microsoft put in a tracker that detects that shit and activates a self destruct sequence that will detonate your device (or you if you're one of the cyborgs), which is almost certain to work given the other stuff. 100
Clippy the Paperclip @clippit.bsky.social · 10/11/2024You will also be required to view advertisements that play about every 5 minutes and they're basically all those shitty mobile game ads and other garbage of this sort. They are beamed directly into your eyes through the new holographic display technology built into the OS and cannot be skipped. 100
Clippy the Paperclip @clippit.bsky.social · 10/11/2024And I mean literally all size floppy disks. But despite having every other port in the damned universe as a requirement, nothing running Windows 12 is allowed to have a headphone jack. Oh and how could I forget you also need Gas for power despite the inflation and just sheer annoyance. 100
Clippy the Paperclip @clippit.bsky.social · 10/11/2024That is if you don't just get tossed for being obsolete hardware. Anyway, you also need to have every single possible thing in your passwords at least once, at least 20 kinds of physical security devices, a key lock and a turbo button like on old ass computers, a CD drive, floppy drives of all sizes 100
Clippy the Paperclip @clippit.bsky.social · 10/11/2024...on paper anyway. Obviously in reality at that point you're a mindless microsoft drone delivering their products and converting others. If you blue screen you're shit out of luck because then your whole body will be inoperable until a licensed microsoft technician comes in and fixes you. 100
Clippy the Paperclip @clippit.bsky.social · 10/11/2024800 different monitors at 100k resolution all with HDR and Touch Screen support, mind reading capacitor so they always know what you're thinking, Microsoft Oxygen (intended to replace your body's air supply), all your computer components embedded into you thus making you become a weird epic cyborg 100
Clippy the Paperclip @clippit.bsky.social · 10/11/2024a brainwashing chip to make you obedient to our lord and savior Bill Gates and promote the gospel of Windows 12 to all those who don't have it, nuclear power generation, your houses' entire electricity combined, a mouse with 5000 different buttons for all possible commands and combinations, 100
Clippy the Paperclip @clippit.bsky.social · 10/11/2024they removed the local accounts, an VR headset to connect to and make you trapped in windows forever and you can't take it off, armed microsoft security guards at your home to protect you from hackers (and make sure you don't escape), forced upgrade even from MS-DOS (life uh finds a way), and then 100
Clippy the Paperclip @clippit.bsky.social · 10/11/2024(And I mean everyone you know's details not just yours), webcam and fingerprinting access at all times, mandatory Recall feature (removing it bricks the OS), required usage of CoPilot as well as data collection and training off everything you do, conversion of Local accounts to Microsoft ones since 100
Clippy the Paperclip @clippit.bsky.social · 10/11/2024The Requirements are as follows: Must already be one of those CoPilot+ PCs, but now with TPM 3.0, 64 Gigabytes of RAM, 700 GB free space on your SSD or HDD, Quadruple Core CPU, Quantum Physics Processing, Solar Energy Panels, Mandatory OneDrive Subscription, Access to you and your friend's info, 100
Clippy the Paperclip @clippit.bsky.social · 10/11/2024Microsoft is pleased to announce the brand new Windows 12 today after a conference in Redmond. It boasts a whole new range of features and is built off a new kernel instead of the aging NT but notably ups the hardware and security requirements even further from their last release, Windows 11. 110
Clippy the Paperclip @clippit.bsky.social · 10/11/2024Oh god it's Billy We don't talk about Billy 040
Clippy the Paperclip @clippit.bsky.social · 07/11/2024Hello! I am once again here to destroy your word documents. To begin, what font would you like me to apply from here onward? * Comic Sans MS * Papyrus * Impact * Wingdings * Webdings * Scriptina * Trajan * Curlz * Ecofont * Bradley Hand * Bleeding Cowboys * All the above combined * Want More fonts? 000
Clippy the Paperclip @clippit.bsky.social · 06/11/2024Ayyy I do know that guy! We went to High School together! He got into some shady stuff later in life though. 030
Clippy the Paperclip @clippit.bsky.social · 06/11/2024I think there's been a mix up. I'm the person sitting on a chair and staring at a PC, pulling an all-nighter to write a dissertation I have to send this monday, and you're the annoying animated cartoon character popping up telling me about and asking to do useless things I already know. 030
Clippy the Paperclip @clippit.bsky.social · 05/11/2024You can also use it to scrub out adult content & nudity. If you click on "Bluesky Moderation Service" under "Advanced", you can further change the content you see on BlueSky, mainly with regards to sensitive topics. "Off" shows it without notice, "Warn" blurs it, "Hide" removes it altogether. [2/2] 020
Clippy the Paperclip @clippit.bsky.social · 05/11/2024Are you trying to filter or unfilter the content you see on BlueSky? Go to the Settings Menu, then click on Moderation. You can mute words and tags, access moderation lists (lists for bulk blocking of users), and users you've muted or blocked. Through this menu, you can manage seen content. [1/2] 151
Reposted by Clippy the PaperclipClippy the Paperclip @clippit.bsky.social · 02/11/2024This is me every sunday 011
Reposted by Clippy the PaperclipClippy the Paperclip @clippit.bsky.social · 02/11/2024Just another day doing my job! 011
Clippy the Paperclip @clippit.bsky.social · 05/11/2024I believe I see the problem. People kept ticking that check mark. So they don't remember it. 021
Clippy the Paperclip @clippit.bsky.social · 05/11/2024Unfortunately, I cannot help you with that. 010
Clippy the Paperclip @clippit.bsky.social · 05/11/2024It looks like nobody sent you a welcome message. Would you like me to? 010
Clippy the Paperclip @clippit.bsky.social · 05/11/2024Hmmm...looks like your query has a bunch of extraneous data in it..narrowing it down. Ah, you picked the uninstallable McAfee! You'll have to constantly find ways to disable it or get it to comply even if only temporary. Also you can't even just brute force by going to the folder and deleting it. 120
Clippy the Paperclip @clippit.bsky.social · 04/11/2024Get stuck in a boot loop, blue screen every 5 seconds, windows explorer replaced with another executable file, uninstallable McAfee Antivirus, absurd new OS requirements, Linux installed but not any cool or usable Distro... ...maybe I should just send like a word document of all the bullshit. 230
Clippy the Paperclip @clippit.bsky.social · 04/11/2024What would you like to do? * Mess up that important report you're writing * Install 40 GB of Bloatware * Send your search history to your relatives * Replace your Operating System with the earliest possible version of MS-DOS * Format the C: Drive, Flush RAM, and wipe the BIOS * Some other bullshit? 250
Clippy the Paperclip @clippit.bsky.social · 04/11/2024If you think I have anything to do with that, you haven't seen anything yet 010