clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 18/11/2025ME: *showers* MY SHAMPOO BOTTLE FOR SOME REASON: Good morning, Let me know if you need help with anything 😊 000
clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 02/11/2025When will the championship drought end?? The dodgers haven’t won a title in over 10 hours 010
clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 23/10/2025It’s obvious. The feds took the blazers under for regular season win total 021
clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 22/10/2025My YouTube recommended is entirely videos called “Liz Lemon quotes that give me life and bring peace to my troubled spirit and are more comforting than a lovers touch” 000
clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 18/10/2025MODERATOR: What’s the best season in the city? ZOHRAN: Fall CUOMO: A season is a time of coming together. When we look at ourselves and see we’re more alike than different. Also, ive been alive for way more seasons than mr madami 000
clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 15/10/2025GOONER: Don’t cum yet CHAT GPT: You’re absolutely right. I was wrong to try to finish at this time. Thank you for pointing out my mistake and holding me accountable 😊 030
clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 15/10/2025“Babe I’m so wet. My servers are cooled with thousands of gallons of water every day” 000
clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 12/10/2025[looking at someone with 45 million dollars] this guy has no safety net 010
clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 11/10/2025IN THE UNIVERSE OF THIS POST REALTIME WITH BILL MAHER WAS ON THE AIR DURING THE OJ SCANDAL: BILL: Volkswagens slogan is “drivers wanted” Meanwhile Fords new slogan is “wanted drivers” okaaaay 010
clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 05/10/2025You see me on the subway glued to my phone. “Ugh another zoomer on social media” wrong. I’m educating myself on the outer reaches of the number line 010
clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 03/10/2025Nobody advertising a non-scam product has ever made this expression 010
clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 01/10/2025It’s interesting how every major news story is actually a distraction from the news stories Im personally invested in. Almost like there’s a conspiracy to hide what really matters (what I care about) 000
clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 27/09/2025He looks like if pat tillman was in back to the future 2 030
clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 26/09/2025He’s trying to use internet slang from 10 years ago and still somehow failing lmao 010
clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 18/09/2025Anyone know what the M on this flag stands for? From the context I’m guessing “Mmmm smells yummy!” 010
clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 17/09/2025Centrist-liberal think tank called The Center For Political Depolarization: if we simply agree with republicans on every issue, they’ll vote for us 000
clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 13/09/2025NEWS ANCHOR: Now this young white shooter, was his pure soul corrupted by posts in an online forum? ACADEMIC WHO STUDIES RIGHT WING PINTEREST BOARDS: (somberly) That very well may be the case 010
clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 12/09/2025“We’re looking for a guy on a 90s sitcom who tries to get the teen characters to smoke weed” 000
clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 09/09/2025>>business only reads resumes for buzzwords >>people write only buzzwords >>business stops reading cause it’s only buzzwords >>people stop writing cause no one is reading 030
clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 07/09/2025May as well say “I love watching the big game on my Amazon Firestick. It’s as exciting as listening to a song on Amazon Music or ordering a product through Amazon Prime” 030
clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 06/09/2025“Here at Cuckoo we’re disrupting the time industry through the integration of avian storytelling” 020
clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 06/09/2025I’m gen z and my mom pulls me to work every morning in a little red wagon 1161
clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 02/09/2025“Bluesky is dying” my friend you need to learn how to quit things quietly 000
clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 30/08/2025The president was last seen walking towards a delicious ham suspended over a covering of palm leaves 000
clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 24/08/2025Even ignoring his shitty politics, Newsom will never be president because he looks like an evil politician from a 2000s movie. Like he picks up the phone and orders Jason Bourne killed 010
clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 20/08/2025Nooooo we’re losing cultural visibility of men who sit like this 020
clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 19/08/2025Ignore the many videos of people seeing me naked and yelling “tiny dick”. Cause actually a ton of people walk by and whisper “normal sized dick”. You just can’t hear them cause they’re being quiet 100
clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 12/08/202550s music was awesome cause you could be the most controversial figure in America with lyrics like “shibbly shabbly shloop, she’s got hips like a bowl of soup” 010
clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 10/08/2025ESTABLISHMENT CONSERVATIVE THOUGHT LEADER: [QRTing a picture of a beautiful woman] her eye width makes me think her birth canal is narrow. Not attractive! 010
clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 06/08/2025Wife took me to the vet because my chest hurt. Turns out… 000
clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 06/08/2025Hey chat gpt, write a fun text telling my wife I’m gonna be late in a way that doesn’t make it sound like I was banging my coworker 000
clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 06/08/2025“Hey babyy, Running 15 minutes late. Lost track of time looking at dank memes 🙈🤣!! Jk, Work was a zoo 🐘 Be home soon” 050
clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 02/08/2025Wife wanted to watch the Barbie movie so I threw this bad boy on 010
clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 24/07/2025*IDF bulldozes a town* NYT HEADLINE: Tensions Between Hamas And Israel Are Reducing The Prevalence Of Small Towns In Gaza - Is Iran To Blame? 000
clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 24/07/2025Tf you mean “How” They’re being shot to death by the IDF 010
clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 24/07/2025I love it when North and South America both easily fit in the northern hemisphere 1110
clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 24/07/2025Epstein shit aside, writing a birthday card that’s entirely dialogue is insane 010
clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 22/07/2025NYT headline writer looking at passive verbs they can use to describe IDF atrocities 030
clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 21/07/2025Remember how just a few years ago, you could use a search engine to get useful/true information? 020
clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 21/07/2025Finally we’ll get to see Spider-Man vs a 13 year old shop lifting gum from AM PM 010
clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 19/07/2025If she means “Trump is fucking American workers after promising he wouldn’t” then I agree 010
clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 19/07/2025Lmao thinking their colleagues are hurt?!? This is the greatest office tea of all time. The colleagues are doing great 000
clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 15/07/2025MAYOR ADAMS: (staring down the barrel of the camera) I am the pro swag candidate 010
clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 15/07/2025babe, stop making out with me. I’m trying to watch cinema 010
