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clayton

@claytonjames.bsky.social
219 followers 198 following 477 posts

I’m just one man

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clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 02/11/2025
When will the championship drought end?? The dodgers haven’t won a title in over 10 hours
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clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 02/11/2025
Grand Tetons
Grand Tetons pop art poster
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clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 22/10/2025
My YouTube recommended is entirely videos called “Liz Lemon quotes that give me life and bring peace to my troubled spirit and are more comforting than a lovers touch”
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clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 18/10/2025
MODERATOR: What’s the best season in the city? ZOHRAN: Fall CUOMO: A season is a time of coming together. When we look at ourselves and see we’re more alike than different. Also, ive been alive for way more seasons than mr madami
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clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 15/10/2025
GOONER: Don’t cum yet CHAT GPT: You’re absolutely right. I was wrong to try to finish at this time. Thank you for pointing out my mistake and holding me accountable 😊
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clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 12/10/2025
[looking at someone with 45 million dollars] this guy has no safety net
Clickbait post about Conan getting fired from the tonight show that says he had “no show, no safety net, and 45 million dollars”
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clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 11/10/2025
IN THE UNIVERSE OF THIS POST REALTIME WITH BILL MAHER WAS ON THE AIR DURING THE OJ SCANDAL: BILL: Volkswagens slogan is “drivers wanted” Meanwhile Fords new slogan is “wanted drivers” okaaaay
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clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 05/10/2025
You see me on the subway glued to my phone. “Ugh another zoomer on social media” wrong. I’m educating myself on the outer reaches of the number line
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clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 03/10/2025
Nobody advertising a non-scam product has ever made this expression
YouTube ad reading “figma to full stack app with AI” plus a nerdy looking guy arching one brow
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clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 01/10/2025
It’s interesting how every major news story is actually a distraction from the news stories Im personally invested in. Almost like there’s a conspiracy to hide what really matters (what I care about)
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clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 18/09/2025
Anyone know what the M on this flag stands for? From the context I’m guessing “Mmmm smells yummy!”
Restaurant called McDonalds with an M flag flying in front of it
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clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 17/09/2025
Centrist-liberal think tank called The Center For Political Depolarization: if we simply agree with republicans on every issue, they’ll vote for us
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clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 13/09/2025
NEWS ANCHOR: Now this young white shooter, was his pure soul corrupted by posts in an online forum? ACADEMIC WHO STUDIES RIGHT WING PINTEREST BOARDS: (somberly) That very well may be the case
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clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 09/09/2025
Love to get an email from my dommy mommy
Bernie sanders email with the subject “pathetic”
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clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 04/09/2025
I have a fearful, holds-barred comedic style
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clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 02/09/2025
“Bluesky is dying” my friend you need to learn how to quit things quietly
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clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 30/08/2025
The president was last seen walking towards a delicious ham suspended over a covering of palm leaves
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clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 24/08/2025
Even ignoring his shitty politics, Newsom will never be president because he looks like an evil politician from a 2000s movie. Like he picks up the phone and orders Jason Bourne killed
Gavin newsom looking as cartoonishly corrupt as ever
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clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 19/08/2025
Ignore the many videos of people seeing me naked and yelling “tiny dick”. Cause actually a ton of people walk by and whisper “normal sized dick”. You just can’t hear them cause they’re being quiet
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clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 12/08/2025
50s music was awesome cause you could be the most controversial figure in America with lyrics like “shibbly shabbly shloop, she’s got hips like a bowl of soup”
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clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 10/08/2025
ESTABLISHMENT CONSERVATIVE THOUGHT LEADER: [QRTing a picture of a beautiful woman] her eye width makes me think her birth canal is narrow. Not attractive!
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clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 06/08/2025
Wife took me to the vet because my chest hurt. Turns out…
Heart worm pamphlet
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clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 06/08/2025
Hey chat gpt, write a fun text telling my wife I’m gonna be late in a way that doesn’t make it sound like I was banging my coworker
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clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 02/08/2025
Wife wanted to watch the Barbie movie so I threw this bad boy on
DVD copy of Barbie: A Fairy Secret
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clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 30/07/2025
What is this? A to-do list for cows?
Shave cream that says have utter
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clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 28/07/2025
Pal, I create my own prison every day
Ad for mobile game called lands of jail. Tagline - create your own prison
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clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 24/07/2025
*IDF bulldozes a town* NYT HEADLINE: Tensions Between Hamas And Israel Are Reducing The Prevalence Of Small Towns In Gaza - Is Iran To Blame?
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clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 24/07/2025
Tf you mean “How” They’re being shot to death by the IDF
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clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 24/07/2025
Epstein shit aside, writing a birthday card that’s entirely dialogue is insane
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clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 22/07/2025
NYT headline writer looking at passive verbs they can use to describe IDF atrocities
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clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 21/07/2025
Remember how just a few years ago, you could use a search engine to get useful/true information?
Bing search: how many days has it been since June 12th

AI summary: (Font size 80) 74 days
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clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 15/07/2025
MAYOR ADAMS: (staring down the barrel of the camera) I am the pro swag candidate
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clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 15/07/2025
babe, stop making out with me. I’m trying to watch cinema
Vitamix user guide on DVD
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clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 11/07/2025
“Sir have you been drinking tonight?” Me:
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clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 09/07/2025
He looks like a scientist who would advise Jurassic Park to create even more dangerous dinosaurs
Palmer Luckey, a total dickhead
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clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 08/07/2025
TSA will no longer require all passengers to take shoes off at airport security checkpointsQuentin Tarantino saying “what are you doing”
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clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 05/07/2025
Couldn’t remember Gene Roddenberry’s name for a second and called him Gene Waterballoon
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clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 30/06/2025
Bluesky is so diverse. Some people post jokes. Some people believe that jokes must be reported to the HOA (they also think this website has an HOA)
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clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 26/06/2025
Every day eric Adams releases a statement like “yes, from 2023 to 2024 The Hamburglar was on my food safety advisory board. I was unaware of his history”
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clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 20/06/2025
Awesome job google. Thank you for making ai responses ubiquitous
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clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 17/06/2025
Who should you hand the knife to: A normal guy or Norman Bates?

While some leftists may say normal guy, they’re ignoring that Bates has more experience wielding knives
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clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 14/06/2025
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Reposted by clayton
UNRWA @unrwa.org · 12/06/2025
We have lost all contact with our UNRWA colleagues in Gaza, communications have been cut off. This morning, for the first time in months, we did not receive their morning messages to say, "good morning" and "we are fine/alive". We anxiously await to hear from our colleagues.
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clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 11/06/2025
NANCY PELOSI: (Watching me in an improv show) there are some bad actors in LA today
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clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 10/06/2025
Imagine becoming a fucking marine and then your job is to protect a WeWork from graffiti
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clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 09/06/2025
I wish all weird noises my car makes a very please go away on your own
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clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 07/06/2025
Drakes the first guy to go on MTV Cribs and show his collection of cribs
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clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 04/06/2025
I thought a limit was the whole point of a fence
Truck with “NO LIMIT FENCE” written on it
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clayton @claytonjames.bsky.social · 02/06/2025
Devastating to see this
Over picture of Steph curry going night night: 

Heartbreaking

Basketball player forced to play despite clearly signaling that he’s sleepy
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