clayton @claayton.bsky.social · 23/08/2026i’m starting to think these fellas aren’t so good after all 000
clayton @claayton.bsky.social · 23/08/2026Observed this in my own life, especially after getting married. Going out and drinking is so expensive! 010
clayton @claayton.bsky.social · 08/08/2026It was a great twist to learn that the Lieutenant had a penis this whole time 010
clayton @claayton.bsky.social · 07/08/2026At the concert yesterday I accidentally crop dusted a child. Didn’t even realize he was there. And obviously their faces are right at ass level 000
clayton @claayton.bsky.social · 04/08/2026Telling wife I love my wedding ring it’s just wayyyy too warm to wear to the equinox sauna 001
clayton @claayton.bsky.social · 11/07/2026This is probably true based solely on how personally odious Altman is. It seems like even his own people in the valley despise him. No constituency 000
clayton @claayton.bsky.social · 10/07/2026As long as you don’t stop walking and don’t make any loud noises you can basically stay at the grocery store until they close 000
clayton @claayton.bsky.social · 23/09/2025Rolling the glass around with my wrist and smelling the water 010
clayton @claayton.bsky.social · 22/09/2025I think it’s clear the attacks are a show of force and the inklings of a new GWOT frontier, not anything more reasonable than that 000
clayton @claayton.bsky.social · 22/09/2025(6’2 195 lean adult man voice) do you think I could pull off the teddy she wears 000
clayton @claayton.bsky.social · 22/09/2025Sabrina Carpenter makes being 4’10 in heels sound so fun 110
clayton @claayton.bsky.social · 22/09/2025So the same girl stuff as before, that’s cool. I hope you can protect your lady or whatever from threats inside and outside the kingdom… 010
clayton @claayton.bsky.social · 22/09/2025took too many zyns in a row. mouth tastes like blood award 000
clayton @claayton.bsky.social · 22/09/2025yesterday i took slightly too long to unbutton my girlfriend’s weird tunic shirt thing so she started humming the Jeopardy theme 020
clayton @claayton.bsky.social · 22/09/2025Done with the LSAT is the only thing 6 months cashed out to. how’s my oomfie doin 110
clayton @claayton.bsky.social · 14/05/2025My gf was singing some unreleased Lana Del Rey and I started singing along with her and she stopped and then she called me a whore 020
clayton @claayton.bsky.social · 13/05/2025We should let seals vote. They are extremely intelligent 030
clayton @claayton.bsky.social · 13/05/2025Your girl must be a classic vine the way she rode and worked my head 010
clayton @claayton.bsky.social · 13/05/2025Great Jon Bois on the subject youtu.be/n36R8xlhe1U?...youtu.beWOULD YOU LIKE TO BUY A MATTRESS? | PRETTY GOOD, EPISODE 19YouTube video by Secret Base 060
clayton @claayton.bsky.social · 13/05/2025Giannis will retire and start a lucrative line of ceramic cookware 🔥🔥🔥 the Bucks will be moved to Vancouver 000
clayton @claayton.bsky.social · 13/05/2025I’ve ruminated a little further on this. It was not chance and never could have been. There’s no god in the NBA this shit is rigged 010
clayton @claayton.bsky.social · 13/05/2025Dude they read that lottery ball and Cooper Flagg looked like he wanted to fucking kill himself 110
clayton @claayton.bsky.social · 12/05/2025Pretty sure I got some sort of brain eating parasite too but then IT STARVED!!! 010
clayton @claayton.bsky.social · 12/05/2025In college I got pink eye in both eyes from swimming in a 3 foot deep stagnant-water desert pool and then I intentionally gave it to my roommate because I hated him and he deserved to suffer 120
clayton @claayton.bsky.social · 12/05/2025Like okay you cannot have worn this to fight people. You can’t have put this on anticipating a battle 030
clayton @claayton.bsky.social · 12/05/2025A pear is sort of like if an apple was changed in several ways 010
clayton @claayton.bsky.social · 12/05/2025Woke DC sniper: Before we proceed I would like to first acknowledge that this clocktower sits on the unceded land of the Anacostan peoples 010
clayton @claayton.bsky.social · 12/05/2025When I was a child I saw the GTA 3 girl with the lollipop and got really horny but didn’t know what I was feeling so I got scared but I couldn’t stop looking at her. This basic relationship to beautiful women has remained mostly unchanged 010
clayton @claayton.bsky.social · 12/05/2025Jimmy Stewart gay af for investigating a murder when Grace Kelly phat ass out like that 010
clayton @claayton.bsky.social · 12/05/2025Oomf was driving me in her car and came in super super hot about to hit a line of cars coming to a stop and when she realized, in the moment before she stomped the brakes, she just started meowing??? 020
clayton @claayton.bsky.social · 10/05/2025Your girl must be the McDonald’s Playplace ballpit the way she giving me hand foot and mouth 010
