Chris Leyhe @chrisleyhe.bsky.social · 03/10/2026Before the crowbar was invented, crows had to drink at home. 110
Chris Leyhe @chrisleyhe.bsky.social · 24/09/2026An old Zulu saying... "If you don't think that you alone can make a difference in the world, spend 1 night in a closed-in hut with a single mosquito". 010
Chris Leyhe @chrisleyhe.bsky.social · 18/09/2026Despite the cost of living, it still remains popular. 010
Chris Leyhe @chrisleyhe.bsky.social · 10/09/2026If pigs could fly, imagine how good their wings would taste. 010
Chris Leyhe @chrisleyhe.bsky.social · 04/09/2026"Roses are red" "Beer is great" "Poems are hard". 010
Chris Leyhe @chrisleyhe.bsky.social · 19/08/2026The weather is nice. What a great day to go outside & look at your phone. 020
Chris Leyhe @chrisleyhe.bsky.social · 13/08/2026An alcoholic tried to become a lawyer, but he couldn't pass the bar. 010
Chris Leyhe @chrisleyhe.bsky.social · 10/08/2026Stupidity knows no boundaries, but it knows alot of people. 000
Chris Leyhe @chrisleyhe.bsky.social · 02/08/2026Autocorrect makes me say things that I didn't Nintendo. 020
Chris Leyhe @chrisleyhe.bsky.social · 27/07/2026Bro, when Christine & Raoul finish singing "🎶All I ask of you🎶" on the rooftop, they walk away. Then the Phantom comes out and sings his part. That's when Yvette laughs at me for getting teery-eyed.🤣 110
Chris Leyhe @chrisleyhe.bsky.social · 27/07/2026Probably, but sappy is often defined in dictionaries as "unreasonably sentimental" and I still get teery-eyed at the 2004 "Gerard Butler" version of Phantom of the Opera.🤣🤣🤣 120
Chris Leyhe @chrisleyhe.bsky.social · 27/07/2026Those who do not remember the past are doomed to repeat it.... Those who do not remember the past correctly are doomed altogether. 010
Chris Leyhe @chrisleyhe.bsky.social · 20/07/2026If I put my Grandmother's number on speed-dial, can that be considered an "instagram"? 010
Chris Leyhe @chrisleyhe.bsky.social · 06/07/2026Procrastination is a dish best served eventually. 020
Chris Leyhe @chrisleyhe.bsky.social · 30/06/2026If you can't get up to vote, you might have "electile" dysfunction. 020
Chris Leyhe @chrisleyhe.bsky.social · 21/06/2026Any salad can be a ceaser salad if you stab it enough. 020
Chris Leyhe @chrisleyhe.bsky.social · 20/06/2026Happy Fathers Day to any guy who asks his GF or wife "Who's your Daddy"? 020
Chris Leyhe @chrisleyhe.bsky.social · 14/06/2026When posting, spellcheck can be your worst enema. 010
Chris Leyhe @chrisleyhe.bsky.social · 09/06/2026A lion would never drive drunk. But a "Tiger Wood". 010
Chris Leyhe @chrisleyhe.bsky.social · 29/05/2026Children are the "Beautiful Enslavement". Once your first is born, nothing else matters. Your most deepest, primal animal instincts take over and suddenly, your sole purpose on this Earth is to give them everything you never had.🥲💚👍 020
Chris Leyhe @chrisleyhe.bsky.social · 23/05/2026Bringing a dog named Shark to the beach was a bad mistake. 010
Chris Leyhe @chrisleyhe.bsky.social · 16/05/2026Soy milk is just regular milk introducing itself in Spanish. 020
Chris Leyhe @chrisleyhe.bsky.social · 12/05/2026A debut album is like a fart. It doesn't last long after you cut it. 020
Chris Leyhe @chrisleyhe.bsky.social · 03/05/2026You better believe it bro. In the ASMR realm, you're name carries no differently than my own.😊👍 110
Chris Leyhe @chrisleyhe.bsky.social · 03/05/2026I don't know about anyone else, but I really need to teach my facial expressions how to use their inside voice. 120
Chris Leyhe @chrisleyhe.bsky.social · 29/04/2026The definition of stalking: When two people go out for a romantic walk together....but only one of them knows it. 020
Chris Leyhe @chrisleyhe.bsky.social · 24/04/2026After getting a physical at a doctor's office, a man was told by his doctor "You're in good shape, but you need to stop masterbating". The man said "Why? Is it unhealthy?" The doctor said "No, but you're scaring everyone in the waiting room". 010
Chris Leyhe @chrisleyhe.bsky.social · 13/04/2026Murals can be quite beautiful. They're very large and in some cases quite detailed. They not only display the skill, but also the passion of the artist. But ultimately....they simply tell you that you are in a bad neighborhood. 010
Chris Leyhe @chrisleyhe.bsky.social · 06/04/2026There are only 29,220 days in 80 years. In retrospect, that's not much time. Do what you can with them. 010
Chris Leyhe @chrisleyhe.bsky.social · 04/04/2026Statistically: 50% of those who tried dating apps said that they had a positive experience.... The other half are still missing... 010
Chris Leyhe @chrisleyhe.bsky.social · 22/03/2026The worst thing about betrayal is that it never comes from your enemies. 010
Chris Leyhe @chrisleyhe.bsky.social · 22/03/2026Sexy feet pic? Why yes. Pixie feet sex sounds nice too.🦶🧚♀️ 010
Chris Leyhe @chrisleyhe.bsky.social · 15/03/2026Am I getting older? Or are grocery stores playing cooler music nowadays. 010
Chris Leyhe @chrisleyhe.bsky.social · 04/03/2026A foolish man complains about a hole in his pocket, but a wise man uses it to scratch his b*lls. 010
Chris Leyhe @chrisleyhe.bsky.social · 04/02/2026A wize man once said "Sex is like pizza. Even when it's lousy, it's still pretty good".🤔 010
Chris Leyhe @chrisleyhe.bsky.social · 25/11/2025Ah! The day before Thanksgiving! My 11th Anniversary without a cigarette!🥳🥳🥳 030
Chris Leyhe @chrisleyhe.bsky.social · 24/11/2025A question for the ages... Is "asscheecks" one word? Or should they be seperated.🤔 010
Chris Leyhe @chrisleyhe.bsky.social · 06/03/2025Many people think it would be really cool if Pegasuses existed in real life. But when you think of what a pigeon does to a windshield, what do you think a horse would do? 010
Chris Leyhe @chrisleyhe.bsky.social · 20/02/2025True story: My cat,"Trudy" (pure bred Tuxedo female) was a stray feral kitten when she ran into my house after I opened the door to get the mail during a snowstorm. Me & my wife (GF at the time) kept calling her "our little intruder" but didn't know what to name her. Then it dawned on us!🤣 000
Chris Leyhe @chrisleyhe.bsky.social · 15/02/2025I remember when the most most painful thing about being alone on Valentines Day is that it feels like the whole world is having a party but you're not invited. Just remember, Valentines is 1 out of 365 of a year of not felling so isolated. After that, it's smooth sailing.👍 010
