Chris Ballard @chrisjballard.bsky.social · 23/09/2026I read somewhere that Haley Joel Osmont is in the Arctic with an archeological team examining a previously undiscovered settlement When asked about it, he said "Icy Dead People" 031
Chris Ballard @chrisjballard.bsky.social · 22/09/2026It is a bit weird to see a Torquay United player in the same international squad as players from Chicago Fire and Seattle Sounders. 000
Chris Ballard @chrisjballard.bsky.social · 15/09/202695% of the time one spends in the supermarket is spent looking for that one damn thing 000
Chris Ballard @chrisjballard.bsky.social · 15/09/2026Watching an episode of Elementary and trying to explain to Rebecca all about Vinnie Jones. 000
Chris Ballard @chrisjballard.bsky.social · 05/09/2026Alejandro Garnacho has incriminating pictures of every Premier League manager, surely 000
Chris Ballard @chrisjballard.bsky.social · 05/09/2026Well done, people. I see that even Gerardus Mercator has been cancelled. (He's not that bad; it's just...projection) 011
Chris Ballard @chrisjballard.bsky.social · 29/08/2026It's an absolute disgrace that a player called Solanke isn't taller and skinnier 000
Reposted by Chris BallardFT @fucktheory.bsky.social · 25/08/2026Imagine being talented and beautiful and rich and famous and still the most noteworthy thing about you is how good a person you are. 99268156333
Chris Ballard @chrisjballard.bsky.social · 26/08/2026Technology is great. I can download an audiobook from a magic sky computer and then play that on my uncabled headphones while I drive around in an electric van. It speaks volumes... 000
Chris Ballard @chrisjballard.bsky.social · 19/08/2026Yes. It's why Oppenheimer did *Removes shades* ..such good Numb3rs. *the Who kicks in* YEAAAAHHHH 120
Reposted by Chris BallardCount Binface @countbinface.bsky.social · 10/08/2026It’s election week! At this important moment I would like to address your entire planet with a message to the people of Earth. And I think I found the perfect place to do it. 772835927
Chris Ballard @chrisjballard.bsky.social · 10/08/2026I have always been fully aware that I'll never be cool, but equally I also know I'll never be as uncool as this dork 010
Chris Ballard @chrisjballard.bsky.social · 09/08/2026Me, reading this; Well, that's icky. Yeah, that's a bit icky too. Yikes, this guy FUCKING 53 YEARS OLD?!? 001
Chris Ballard @chrisjballard.bsky.social · 30/07/2026Maybe this is merely the seasonal Graham/McConnell aisle? 110
Chris Ballard @chrisjballard.bsky.social · 30/07/2026Dropped my toothpaste on the floor this morning. Totally crestfallen 141
Chris Ballard @chrisjballard.bsky.social · 23/07/2026Cashier; why are you giggling? Me; no reason 010
Chris Ballard @chrisjballard.bsky.social · 19/07/2026I'm pleased they finished 3rd, but getting them on a stage is very much on the lame side 000
Chris Ballard @chrisjballard.bsky.social · 19/07/2026Bellingham is *only* 23. Bloody hell, the next few years could be fun 010
Chris Ballard @chrisjballard.bsky.social · 19/07/2026Which obviously have preferred England to make the final, but that was a game that reminds me why I love this idiotic sport so much 020
Chris Ballard @chrisjballard.bsky.social · 19/07/2026What a truly sensational goal. Game was bananas. Way better than losing the final 1-0 to a Oyazarbal goal. 010
Reposted by Chris BallardJesse @requiemarm.bsky.social · 18/07/2026when someone on Chopped attempts to make risotto 014327
Chris Ballard @chrisjballard.bsky.social · 18/07/2026Clearly, Olise feels bad for Eze and Guehi, his erstwhile mates. 000
Reposted by Chris BallardGarfield🎃Thelonius👻Remington🧟III🦇 @roscoegbarrel.bsky.social · 18/07/2026I feel like if you are a Torquay United fan you have endured enough noble suffering to be excluded from that broad group. 111
Chris Ballard @chrisjballard.bsky.social · 18/07/2026Goals scored in the third place playoff shouldn't count for the Golden Boot. Ive been saying that since Toto Schillaci 000
Chris Ballard @chrisjballard.bsky.social · 18/07/2026Of course, having been so much better first half, it'd be typical for England to find a way to fuck this up 000
Chris Ballard @chrisjballard.bsky.social · 18/07/2026Kane; put me in, Tommy T, I can win the golden boot! 000
Chris Ballard @chrisjballard.bsky.social · 18/07/2026I take everything back - the third place game is totally worthwhile and everybody loves it 020
Chris Ballard @chrisjballard.bsky.social · 14/07/2026If the French number 24 gets tackled by two Spain players at once, would that be a Cherki sandwich ? 000
Chris Ballard @chrisjballard.bsky.social · 14/07/2026If I reply to a pun with a "boo!" gif, it really means "well done, I very much enjoyed this" 000
Chris Ballard @chrisjballard.bsky.social · 14/07/2026Llorente would win second prize in a Tim Ream lookalike contest. 100
Reposted by Chris BallardMark Yesilevskiy @markwhyy.com · 14/07/2026Letting a Tottenham defender do that to you... for shame. 021
Chris Ballard @chrisjballard.bsky.social · 14/07/2026I've watched enough of this world cup to know what to do when your wide players are entirely ineffective. It's time to bring on Saka and Rashford 000
Chris Ballard @chrisjballard.bsky.social · 14/07/2026Marc Cucurella always looks like a particularly angry spaniel 000
Chris Ballard @chrisjballard.bsky.social · 07/07/2026Was Pulisic actually fit? He looked *terrible*. I mean, nobody really emerges from this game with much credit, but he was noticeably poor 120
Chris Ballard @chrisjballard.bsky.social · 07/07/2026It's not going to happen but it would *hilarious* of US somehow managed to Belgium Belgium 000
Chris Ballard @chrisjballard.bsky.social · 07/07/2026Assuming US does get knocked out in 20 minutes or so, they've played the worst of the 3 host nations in the last 16 games 000
Chris Ballard @chrisjballard.bsky.social · 07/07/2026Everything the orange cockwomble touches turns to shit 000
Chris Ballard @chrisjballard.bsky.social · 07/07/2026Pochettino's halftime talk; "be less bad and instead try being gooder" 210
Chris Ballard @chrisjballard.bsky.social · 07/07/2026The young lady on his left; Don't call me daughter. (Lowest of low hanging fruit) 020
