iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 05/08/2026

Amazon cancels plans for a data center at seabird island.

Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 05/08/2026

Plans to convert Sardis pond into a refracting pool are on hold after a rare white crow was observed nearby, says Mayor Ken Popove.

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 05/08/2026

Opinion - building waterslide parks that double as data centres to maximize space and reduce water usage is short sighted.

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Reposted by Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire)

The Onion @theonion.com · 04/08/2026

Technological Advancements Allow Data Centers To Run On Even More Electricity theonion.com/technological-advancem…

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 05/08/2026

Cutting-edge shrink ray technology is now available to allow more visitors to enjoy the beauty of #Cultus lake.

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 04/08/2026

#chilliwack has unveiled a new culturally appropriate city emblem.

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 10/07/2026

Chilliwack Mayor Ken Popove says the tradition of placing a Dutch clog in the center of a newly constructed roundabout is over.

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 10/07/2026

Major League Pub has added an extra table, chair, and CRT TV for Chilliwack’s soccer enthusiasts.

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 10/07/2026

Highly anticipated Scientist’s Fair Supermarket opens in Chilliwack; offerings include GMO produce, twice homogenized milk, Tomacco syrup, and popular brand WayBeyond Meats.

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 10/07/2026

Everything is good, thank you. We had to lease out a new warehouse to expand our circulation from 3 papers to 8. We’ll still run our weekly full page advertisement for BC Ferrys as our 175 year contract with them requires us to do. We wish we’d never ran that unfavourable chowder review.

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 10/07/2026

For a bull, this is uncomfortable. For a Cow, this would be udderly depressing.

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 03/07/2026

We found this enthralling read in the bookstore on deck 5 located near the Sea Cucumber stairwell.

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 03/07/2026

Been so much time In a long long line De lay lay lay lay lays

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 26/06/2026

Paddle board or panel board? Camp with an Amp? You can enjoy all these thrills driving the Columbia valley circuit. Stop at the lake, camp at a powered site, and zip line Cultus Lake Adventure Parks new “ZapLine” ride!

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 25/06/2026

A Harvard grad has proposed updating the title of the “Schrodingers Box” experiment to the “Hormuz Straight” paradox. “It’s neither open nor closed.”, said the grad. “Technically, one could fly cargo straight up and wait for the earth to rotate underneath, allowing the movement of fossil fuels”.

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 25/06/2026

Traffic chaos ensnared #Chilliwack commuters Thursday morning due to road construction and the semi-annual Coppers For Krill parade on Vedder Road.

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 25/06/2026

If you think that’s bad, our editor got stuck in traffic while the Coppers For Krill parade rolled down Vedder Road.

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 14/05/2026

Excited Chilliwack residents are hunting down Adam Sadler for selfies during his shooting of the Mennonite love story “Happy Harder”.

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 06/05/2026

This is a test of the BC parody alert system. Please continue eating your salads and romaine calm.

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 06/05/2026

Breaking: Chilliwack research facility accused of fowl play, weaponizing chickens, to profit from middle eastern conflict.

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 17/04/2026

Highway one traffic ground to a halt Thursday afternoon after dramatic clouds provided an unusual spectacle overhead.

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 11/04/2026

Scientists deeply concerned after traces of non-earth biological life found on space capsule.

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 11/04/2026

Chilliwack built Fartemis ii expected to land at the Wolfe Road Treatment Centre in t-1 hour.

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 09/04/2026

We’re proud to announce operation epic failure has been completely successful in eliminating any military puns from our feed and our weekly magazine. If viewing notes related to this statement on our website, please reload your browser for the latest round of updates.

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 27/03/2026

Reminder: Please do not eat your Chilliwack Lions Bingo tickets until all winners have been confirmed.

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 26/03/2026

RCMP have identified a driver who struck an overpass after finding and analyzing sandal prints left in a mud puddle on the shoulder of highway one.

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 26/03/2026

Bradley Gionet has been announced as the new executive director of Chilliwack Safe Haven.

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 21/03/2026

Book a one way trip to Costco using Popove’s Water Taxi Services and receive a free food court hot dog.

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 21/03/2026

Cows saved from rising floodwaters after SD33 raised thousands during the first annual theological book burning to provide farmers with flood protection devices.

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 21/03/2026

Hybrid chickens created and bred in #chilliwack show promise for agriculture in a warmer and wetter world.

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 13/03/2026

Chilliwack farmers face growing costs as Hormuz shipping lanes reach crisis level; agricultural effluent prices skyrocket raising crop crap prices globally.

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 13/03/2026

Promontory residents are pushing for a bylaw limiting the size and contents of topsoil deliveries. Later, we will have an exclusive interview with an individual who will only be identified as Billy to dig deeper into this story.

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 13/03/2026

A man who is in hospital after being struck by a flying Brussels sprout during a recent windstorm while walking along Evans Road is expected to make a full recovery.

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 06/03/2026

“A dog is a man’s best friend until he betrays you by leaving you for the for the family next door and you have to shoot it”. - George Orwell.

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 05/03/2026

Costco has denied rumours that they encouraged the attack on Iran to increase their middle eastern hot dog sales.

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 04/03/2026

Large flash and boom seen and felt over Chilliwack, officials say Iranian missile launched at Old Yale brewery was shot down by Chilliwack’s Oliebollen defence system.

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 03/03/2026

Demand for flying carpets out of the Middle East are surging as wealthy lamp polishing enthusiasts look to escape the Middle East.

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 03/03/2026

Best to avoid the confusion of starboard and port, and not go anywhere at all.

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Reposted by Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire)

@bcferrys @bcferrys.bsky.social · 02/03/2026

Announcement: starting November 1st, we will remain permanently on Delayed Sailing Time (DST).

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 25/02/2026

This break in the state of the union address is brought to you by the makers of Deumiselvin. Because when life gives you oranges, you can trust Deumiselvin to take your pain away.

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 23/02/2026

Chilliwack residents trapped in Mexico say they haven’t experience this much violence since the Vancouver Canucks lost in the Stanley cup final.

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 23/02/2026

That kind of weather is sure to hold up BC Ferrys 10 o’clock sailing to Mahone Bay.

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