iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 05/08/2026

Amazon cancels plans for a data center at seabird island.

Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 05/08/2026

Plans to convert Sardis pond into a refracting pool are on hold after a rare white crow was observed nearby, says Mayor Ken Popove.

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 05/08/2026

Opinion - building waterslide parks that double as data centres to maximize space and reduce water usage is short sighted.

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Reposted by Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire)

The Onion @theonion.com · 04/08/2026

Technological Advancements Allow Data Centers To Run On Even More Electricity theonion.com/technological-advancem…

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 05/08/2026

Cutting-edge shrink ray technology is now available to allow more visitors to enjoy the beauty of #Cultus lake.

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 04/08/2026

#chilliwack has unveiled a new culturally appropriate city emblem.

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 10/07/2026

Chilliwack Mayor Ken Popove says the tradition of placing a Dutch clog in the center of a newly constructed roundabout is over.

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 10/07/2026

Major League Pub has added an extra table, chair, and CRT TV for Chilliwack’s soccer enthusiasts.

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 10/07/2026

Highly anticipated Scientist’s Fair Supermarket opens in Chilliwack; offerings include GMO produce, twice homogenized milk, Tomacco syrup, and popular brand WayBeyond Meats.

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 26/06/2026

Paddle board or panel board? Camp with an Amp? You can enjoy all these thrills driving the Columbia valley circuit. Stop at the lake, camp at a powered site, and zip line Cultus Lake Adventure Parks new “ZapLine” ride!

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 25/06/2026

A Harvard grad has proposed updating the title of the “Schrodingers Box” experiment to the “Hormuz Straight” paradox. “It’s neither open nor closed.”, said the grad. “Technically, one could fly cargo straight up and wait for the earth to rotate underneath, allowing the movement of fossil fuels”.

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 25/06/2026

Traffic chaos ensnared #Chilliwack commuters Thursday morning due to road construction and the semi-annual Coppers For Krill parade on Vedder Road.

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 14/05/2026

Excited Chilliwack residents are hunting down Adam Sadler for selfies during his shooting of the Mennonite love story “Happy Harder”.

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 06/05/2026

This is a test of the BC parody alert system. Please continue eating your salads and romaine calm.

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 06/05/2026

Breaking: Chilliwack research facility accused of fowl play, weaponizing chickens, to profit from middle eastern conflict.

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 17/04/2026

Highway one traffic ground to a halt Thursday afternoon after dramatic clouds provided an unusual spectacle overhead.

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 11/04/2026

Scientists deeply concerned after traces of non-earth biological life found on space capsule.

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 11/04/2026

Chilliwack built Fartemis ii expected to land at the Wolfe Road Treatment Centre in t-1 hour.

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 09/04/2026

We’re proud to announce operation epic failure has been completely successful in eliminating any military puns from our feed and our weekly magazine. If viewing notes related to this statement on our website, please reload your browser for the latest round of updates.

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 27/03/2026

Reminder: Please do not eat your Chilliwack Lions Bingo tickets until all winners have been confirmed.

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 26/03/2026

RCMP have identified a driver who struck an overpass after finding and analyzing sandal prints left in a mud puddle on the shoulder of highway one.

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 26/03/2026

Bradley Gionet has been announced as the new executive director of Chilliwack Safe Haven.

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 21/03/2026

Book a one way trip to Costco using Popove’s Water Taxi Services and receive a free food court hot dog.

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 21/03/2026

Cows saved from rising floodwaters after SD33 raised thousands during the first annual theological book burning to provide farmers with flood protection devices.

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 21/03/2026

Hybrid chickens created and bred in #chilliwack show promise for agriculture in a warmer and wetter world.

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 13/03/2026

Chilliwack farmers face growing costs as Hormuz shipping lanes reach crisis level; agricultural effluent prices skyrocket raising crop crap prices globally.

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 13/03/2026

Promontory residents are pushing for a bylaw limiting the size and contents of topsoil deliveries. Later, we will have an exclusive interview with an individual who will only be identified as Billy to dig deeper into this story.

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 13/03/2026

A man who is in hospital after being struck by a flying Brussels sprout during a recent windstorm while walking along Evans Road is expected to make a full recovery.

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 06/03/2026

“A dog is a man’s best friend until he betrays you by leaving you for the for the family next door and you have to shoot it”. - George Orwell.

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 05/03/2026

Costco has denied rumours that they encouraged the attack on Iran to increase their middle eastern hot dog sales.

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 04/03/2026

Large flash and boom seen and felt over Chilliwack, officials say Iranian missile launched at Old Yale brewery was shot down by Chilliwack’s Oliebollen defence system.

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 03/03/2026

Demand for flying carpets out of the Middle East are surging as wealthy lamp polishing enthusiasts look to escape the Middle East.

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Reposted by Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire)

@bcferrys @bcferrys.bsky.social · 02/03/2026

Announcement: starting November 1st, we will remain permanently on Delayed Sailing Time (DST).

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 25/02/2026

This break in the state of the union address is brought to you by the makers of Deumiselvin. Because when life gives you oranges, you can trust Deumiselvin to take your pain away.

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 23/02/2026

Chilliwack residents trapped in Mexico say they haven’t experience this much violence since the Vancouver Canucks lost in the Stanley cup final.

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 23/02/2026

Chilliwack missing children advocate pleads with residents to not feed wild dingos.

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 23/02/2026

IOC says they have plans for the future to adopt to a changing world, such as a K2 bobsled challenge, an exciting Lhotse luge track, and Nepalese para-ski jumping.

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 23/02/2026

Nate McKinnon graciously donates battle earned stuffy to Brady Tkachuk so he can complete his collection.

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 23/02/2026

Olympic athlete takes hard earned metals home by clearing customs while sitting in metal object tray.

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 20/02/2026

A newly discovered species of waterfowl shows promise for the future of farming in a warmer and wetter world.

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 20/02/2026

Prince Andrew - creeper or crown royal? We used some tarot cards and asked Michael Jackson’s ghost (bless his heart) to find out.

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 19/02/2026

Canada US Women’s Hockey Game delayed after Zamboni crash, unclear if Poulin’s constant directing of the Zamboni driver instructing him how to clean the ice along the boards was a factor.

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 12/02/2026

The City of Chilliwack would like to remind residents that bylaw 38.27.6 prohibits individuals from growing plants that attract wild bees, depriving wild plants such as blackberries and Giant Hogweed from pollination.

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 11/02/2026

Russian athletes arrested, deported from Italy after posing as an Olympic curling Team from the Philippines.

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 11/02/2026

IOC to review IKEA sponsorships after a metric/imperial Allen key mix up caused a Dutch speed skater to lose her blade during a race due to a loose bolt.

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 09/02/2026

Seattle penalty called; ten yards for gyrating.

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 09/02/2026

This quarter is brought to you by Telus - “walk far to reach somebody”.

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 09/02/2026

This half time show has been brought to you by Bass Pro Shops, because “It’s a good time to go outside”.

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Chilliwack Daily Chronicle (Satire) @chillychronicle.bsky.social · 09/02/2026

Olympic officials are asking for patience while they clear titanium and carbon fibre debris from the ski slopes.

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