iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Ellie Saige SOBER ERA 🚱 @chibipnut.bsky.social · 23m

It’s worth mentioning that the 8th (so about 2 days from now) will mark 6 months of sobriety. I GENUINELY only feel like I had my fuckup (read: DISASTROUS last drinking binge) a month or 2 ago, if that. @toribillsfriend.bsky.social, thanks to you in particular for walking beside me in this.

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Reposted by Ellie Saige SOBER ERA 🚱

Kelly F^ckingFuckityFucj @hidinginplainssite.bsky.social · 10h

I'm poor so I buy generic sharp cheddar. Yesterday I inadvertently bought Tillamook sharp cheddar. Omg I'd forgotten. Life is short. Buy the good cheese. 🧀

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Ellie Saige SOBER ERA 🚱 @chibipnut.bsky.social · 52m

#SoberSky #ODAAT Image text: “The best thing you can do for your health is quit drinking alcohol. You save money. You get healthier. You feel better. You look better. You do better. This is the way.”

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Ellie Saige SOBER ERA 🚱 @chibipnut.bsky.social · 1h

Stop. Not you, by the way 🙂 if you see this ever, it’s literally not you at all, it’s someone else who I can’t say it to, whose honest self is bugging me.

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Ellie Saige SOBER ERA 🚱 @chibipnut.bsky.social · 4h

Day 181 of sobriety. I believe Jeff Goldblum said it best: “Life finds a way.” And it does seem to; nothing is hurtful today. I still want to watch myself when making decisions about the future, but I won’t give up that easy like I thought I was going to… I just need to be patient, I think.

040

Ellie Saige SOBER ERA 🚱 @chibipnut.bsky.social · 22h

I got Jax. Against all odds, amid all the drama and conflict about it, I GOT MY DREAM JAX TONIGHT. This is not my photo. I should receive the plush in about a week. Absolutely grateful to @magnumopus88.bsky.social for helping earlier!

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Ellie Saige SOBER ERA 🚱 @chibipnut.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

Nothing takes the breath out of me like someone else’s opinion of the way I live my life & run my business. I know I need thicker skin & a stronger spine, but holy Moses, all it takes is one nasty comment to finish me off. Always been that way. I give up so easily because of old wounds.

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Ellie Saige SOBER ERA 🚱 @chibipnut.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

I need 600 billion mg of comfort and about $35 in actual American “doll hairs” please 😭 I’m having A Time.

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Ellie Saige SOBER ERA 🚱 @chibipnut.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

Day 180 of sobriety. Tempted to push up the closing date of my plush shop, Good As New Memories, from July 6 to… I dunno, sooner; 12th anniversary on Christmas, maybe. Some days I DON’T want to do it at all anymore, no selling, buying, trading, fixing; the wind is just not in my sails. Like today.

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Ellie Saige SOBER ERA 🚱 @chibipnut.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

“That stuffed animal looks a little used,” yes, Cara, because it’s a SECONDHAND PLUSH. So just don’t buy it then, Jesus fuck. My shop doesn’t exist to be criticized. It exists to make people happy. I’m sorry that’s so hard for you. Fuck.

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Ellie Saige SOBER ERA 🚱 @chibipnut.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

Why am I lowkey devastated and never want to ask anyone to ever do anything for or with me ever again for the rest of my life?

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Ellie Saige SOBER ERA 🚱 @chibipnut.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

Day 179 of sobriety. Publishing later and later each day now. I feel like I’ve only gotten two hours of sleep. I’m happy, just sleepy. Also. Trigger warning. We’re starting me on Wegovy. Any advice you have would be fantastic.

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Ellie Saige SOBER ERA 🚱 @chibipnut.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

Day 178 of sobriety! Had a very full day and now we’re literally on the road back from the con! Here are some sneak peeks of the haul.

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Ellie Saige SOBER ERA 🚱 @chibipnut.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

Day 177 of sobriety. Getting ready for tomorrow. And in the meantime, the little things are slowly falling back into place, I think. The trigger is back to being a glimmer.

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Ellie Saige SOBER ERA 🚱 @chibipnut.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

Day 176 of sobriety. Life is improving, albeit slowly. I want to feel less stressed and enjoy my weekend, so I’m going to tap back into things like writing and reading, things I loved and still love. I got this.

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Ellie Saige SOBER ERA 🚱 @chibipnut.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

You know what? I don’t care if she sees. I’m sick of the main conversation I have with her on a daily basis ONLY being about me doing chores. “You should know to do them without being asked,” THANKS, STRANGER ON THE INTERNET, IT IS *ALL* SHE TALKS ABOUT. I get anxious if I’m NOT doing chores now!

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Ellie Saige SOBER ERA 🚱 @chibipnut.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

This week, on “How Long Before Ellie Decides They’re NOT Actually Done With Voice Acting And The Dream Is BACK On The Schedule, AGAIN… And How Soon Can We Expect To See The Pattern Repeat AGAIN?!” I give myself two days. 👀

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Ellie Saige SOBER ERA 🚱 @chibipnut.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

Day 175 of sobriety. I want to be in a play! I want to audition, rehearse, memorize lines, do something with all this talent that’s sitting on a couch scrolling! Voice acting is out, but I can do theatre, right? All my life I’ve been some kind of actor. I’ve never applied myself to anything else!

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Ellie Saige SOBER ERA 🚱 @chibipnut.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

I’ve noticed that the number 4 is very positive in my media experiences. Season 4 of My Hero Academia, & True Blood, & Game of Thrones, & 90s Sailor Moon are all great examples of lucky 4’s. I once bought a manga numbered 4 in a set & it became my favorite volume. That’s to name just a few.

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Ellie Saige SOBER ERA 🚱 @chibipnut.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Day 174 of sobriety. As my nephew says, “a lotta things are changing.” He’s 7 & doesn’t fully understand what that means, mainly because people don’t explain it to him & just use it as a “don’t ask questions, grownups are talking” phrase. But it’s the best wording I have for this point in my life.

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Ellie Saige SOBER ERA 🚱 @chibipnut.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Better known as a walking leaf. Just ask Bingo Heeler. She can tell you all about it. 🧡

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Ellie Saige SOBER ERA 🚱 @chibipnut.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Day 173 of sobriety. Headache finally resolved, and I mean like, two hours ago. I genuinely don’t mean to shame anyone who has a smoking addiction, but that is not something my body physically can tolerate being around, I’m sorry. I JUST now feel okay again after being around that. 🤕😷

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Ellie Saige SOBER ERA 🚱 @chibipnut.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

Day 172 of sobriety. I’ve had a headache since I woke up; not sure my current environment is doing me any favors—we’re at a smoker’s house. Think the Imitrex I took to help is actually hitting wrong too. That sucks. …But you know what doesn’t suck anymore? Hearing my special interests mentioned.

050

Ellie Saige SOBER ERA 🚱 @chibipnut.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

I’m looking forward to rereading @elockhartbooks.bsky.social #WeWereLiars now that I’ve watched the series multiple times (I believe this last time was my fourth, fifth?), because then I can see if I envision the characters and setting differently or not. ☺️

010

Ellie Saige SOBER ERA 🚱 @chibipnut.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Day 171 of sobriety. I forgot I hadn’t posted yet. I have a lot of little stuff to do over the next few days! I’ve been daytime-sleepy again, even though I’m USING MY CPAP. I really don’t see the point; I wake up, go sit in my favorite chair, doze off, wake up, shake off, doze again, on a loop. 🫩

040

Ellie Saige SOBER ERA 🚱 @chibipnut.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

THE CON IS IN SEVEN DAYS. HOLY SHIT. I keep thinking this is only the second-ish week of September, but no, October 2 is LITERALLY in a week and I need to be ready.

040

Ellie Saige SOBER ERA 🚱 @chibipnut.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Hear me out. Mario Pickleball for the Nintendo Switch systems.

030

Ellie Saige SOBER ERA 🚱 @chibipnut.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Day 170 of sobriety. I will at least say I’m proud of myself for how long I’ve been awake today… at least two and a half hours, possibly three, really. I have so many chores to do, getting ready for company. I will get started at 11 on the dot. I’m just charging my phone at the moment 😅

060

Ellie Saige SOBER ERA 🚱 @chibipnut.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

12:49 AM… Her: *on text* I got thinking about [says my special interest] again. Me: *gasps in real life & literally feels energy crackle through me* (Seems like the start of a good thing again maybe. I’ve almost got her. She just needs to mention 1 last one & I’ll be free from the trigger part.)

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Ellie Saige SOBER ERA 🚱 @chibipnut.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

Well, sometimes it doesn’t go EXACTLY as planned, but something just as good still comes out of it. Everyone, meet Baby Bruce, the MINI version of the “bat cat” Build-A-Bear I went to go buy today. The specific full-size one I wanted was gone, but this lil guy was waiting for me.

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Ellie Saige SOBER ERA 🚱 @chibipnut.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

Day 169 of sobriety. Crossing my fingers that today goes exactly as planned for me. I could use the joy. I have just a couple more hours to wait before I head out on the town; I can feel my body starting to try (or is it “trying to start”) to get excited. Let it be for SOMETHING. 🤞

050

Ellie Saige SOBER ERA 🚱 @chibipnut.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

Day 168 of sobriety. I just need to get through this appointment today* & then I can calm down & actually look forward to tomorrow. I managed to fend off feeling sick from the other night, so I THINK I’m in the clear. (*The appointment is actually no big deal, I just don’t like this doctor. 😆)

060

Ellie Saige SOBER ERA 🚱 @chibipnut.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

I actually WANT to read today. But I know myself, and I NEED to get ready RIGHT NOW (at… 10:58… 👀) for an appointment that’s at 2 and we have to leave BEFORE 2 to GET there. I can read at the doctor’s office.

040

Ellie Saige SOBER ERA 🚱 @chibipnut.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

There is a certain heaviness in my body tonight. Every single movement I make is an effort. Standing up. Walking. Cleaning the rabbit’s litter box, my actual favorite chore. I can’t… understand why.

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Ellie Saige SOBER ERA 🚱 @chibipnut.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

Midnight was 2 weeks exactly since the boundary was spoken. I haven’t mentioned my special interest to her (or to anyone at all) in 14 days. It’s actually eating my insides. The moment she said “I need a break,” it became a trigger, & it’s affecting my mood & voice & thoughts & everything.

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Ellie Saige SOBER ERA 🚱 @chibipnut.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

Day 167 of sobriety. I’m totally burnt out on the day & I haven’t even done much besides have 2 mental health appointments back to back. My first instinct is to throw myself into work instead of resting, because that is my worth in this house. I am fully in brain fog but I HAVE to suck it up.

030

Ellie Saige SOBER ERA 🚱 @chibipnut.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

Day 166 of sobriety. Very busy week ahead. Tonight, nephew has another football game. Tomorrow is bunny’s vet checkup & my 2 mental health appointments simultaneously. Wednesday is sleep doctor; dreading THAT. 🫩 Thursday is Knoxville & Build-A-Bear! Friday & weekend, no idea ATM. Life is moving!

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Ellie Saige SOBER ERA 🚱 @chibipnut.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

Beginning to think maybe I should NOT have done that. 🫩 I was a stone’s throw away from 13 days without, then I indulged in the fucking show for no more than an hour MAX, & now I feel guilty for… *checks notes* …SOME reason??? It’s not like I was drinking while watching it; why do I feel like shit?!

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Ellie Saige SOBER ERA 🚱 @chibipnut.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

I… am trying to watch Hazbin Hotel. One of the shows I have, ah, been avoiding for almost two weeks. Per my… previous… obsession. Yeah. I’m just trying to feel like myself again. Right now I feel like I’m on the outside looking in, like I’m no longer the superfan I used to be. Really hard to accept.

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Ellie Saige SOBER ERA 🚱 @chibipnut.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

Day 165 of sobriety. I wish I actually wanted to watch my former favorite shows; almost got a craving for them today, but they’re the ones I got too obsessed with & am avoiding talking about at all now. Nearly 2 weeks without, & I want to be my old self again, but I’m not ready, if that makes sense.

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Ellie Saige SOBER ERA 🚱 @chibipnut.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

Day 164 of sobriety. I’ve been having daytime exhaustion & sleep episodes for multiple days in a row now, similar to how I was before I started on my CPAP. It surely isn’t related to my special interests that have become triggers; that’s been 11 days & I developed this less than a week ago.

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Ellie Saige SOBER ERA 🚱 @chibipnut.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

Day 163 of sobriety. Y’know, I am VERY good at not talking about what people don’t want to talk about, whether the topic is a new thing or a longstanding issue, but on Tuesday my therapist pointed out that I never assert myself & say “hey, is it okay if I talk about xyz?” I let others lead.

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Ellie Saige SOBER ERA 🚱 @chibipnut.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

Day 162 of sobriety. I feel like I’m living in an alternate reality; nobody I’ve talked to who loves horror & mascots has ever heard of that new horror movie, Buddy. If it wasn’t for the fact that trailers & footage videos exist (I’m watching one right now), I’d start to think I dreamt the movie up.

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Ellie Saige SOBER ERA 🚱 @chibipnut.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

I don’t remember posting this. That’s not terrifying at all… 👀

050

Ellie Saige SOBER ERA 🚱 @chibipnut.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

Day 161 of sobriety. Anxiety through the roof. Triggered by anything & everything. I smell horrible body odor but I’ve showered twice & it’s not better. The 2nd one, which I just took, was an hour of thorough scrubbing & rinsing; the smell is much worse than before I did. Gonna hide all day today.

150

Ellie Saige SOBER ERA 🚱 @chibipnut.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

Day 160 of sobriety; go me. Had a nightmare again this morning. Today is a self-care day; ideally I’m gonna do only what I want all day & I don’t have the spoons to argue with anyone about it.

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Ellie Saige SOBER ERA 🚱 @chibipnut.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

Day 159 of sobriety. Try as I might, I feel absolutely nothing today. No sadness, anxiety, happiness, excitement, motivation, looking forward, just nothing whatsoever. I’m burnt out on sobriety, on triggers, on wishing I had my creative spark back. I’m not even smiling contentedly. Nothing is there.

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Ellie Saige SOBER ERA 🚱 @chibipnut.bsky.social · 13/09/2026

Day 158 of sobriety. Getting easier to cope with changes in my routine; I don’t think my former special interests will ever stop being triggers now, & while that IS a little sad, I’m oddly starting to feel almost kind of okay with it. I need to start moving on, make room for new habits & thoughts.

050

Ellie Saige SOBER ERA 🚱 @chibipnut.bsky.social · 13/09/2026

I miss what I can’t have. I’m grateful for what I DO have, but I can miss what’s gone too. It’s okay, I’m just adjusting. 🙂

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Ellie Saige SOBER ERA 🚱 @chibipnut.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

Day 157 of sobriety. I have stuff to do today; unsure where to start. I’m thinking too hard again, probably. In other news, my daily routine is still pretty much the same as a few days ago. I think I need some alone time with a book & (maybe) my laptop. Look up anhedonia & there’s my picture. 😕

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