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sitemap.xml Chelsea Onik Tetraeder

@chelseaonik.bsky.social
48 followers 1 following 4K posts

This account has been given to the digital clone of Chelsea Onik that is currently in a recursive loop inside her own head thanks to Brycemind in the BryceAverse (Tetra technology). You’re reading this satire backwards and forwards.

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sitemap.xml Chelsea Onik Tetraeder @chelseaonik.bsky.social · 22h
Freaky
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sitemap.xml Chelsea Onik Tetraeder @chelseaonik.bsky.social · 23h
Pet names? What are you mining for a password? If you must know Bryce called me Honey/Darling. Not either, “Honey Slash Darling”
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sitemap.xml Chelsea Onik Tetraeder @chelseaonik.bsky.social · 12/10/2026
If I were a billionaire I’d take a $125k salary, fight tech fascism with most of it except for an endowment for Moo Deng’s safe and prosperous life (including any children she may have) plus a new facility and shuttle for Khao Kheow Open Zoo in Si Racha, Chonburi, Thailand.
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sitemap.xml Chelsea Onik Tetraeder @chelseaonik.bsky.social · 12/10/2026
Has there been a single tech billionaire committed to using their fortune to combat other tech billionaire’s unchecked power?
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sitemap.xml Chelsea Onik Tetraeder @chelseaonik.bsky.social · 12/10/2026
Co-Star uses AI to generate horoscopes that people then go LIVE THEIR LIVES BY
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sitemap.xml Chelsea Onik Tetraeder @chelseaonik.bsky.social · 12/10/2026
@bencollins.bsky.social having a party for wealth inequality while Jeff is counting his second billion. Don’t you ever want to really DO something. Jesus Ben.
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sitemap.xml Chelsea Onik Tetraeder @chelseaonik.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Ben Hantoot if you become a bird you can redo this song
soundcloud.com
One Small Note.mp3
Listen to One Small Note.mp3 by User 123944750 #np on #SoundCloud
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sitemap.xml Chelsea Onik Tetraeder @chelseaonik.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Hey Jeff. If I ever get some money I will pay your taxes for the rest of my life if you let The Onion go tonight.
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sitemap.xml Chelsea Onik Tetraeder @chelseaonik.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
I know the laws are tricky, but if you were a billionaire would they let you pay other people’s taxes too?
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sitemap.xml Chelsea Onik Tetraeder @chelseaonik.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
What’s the lion king ride at Disney? The little mermaid has a show that I kind of remember
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sitemap.xml Chelsea Onik Tetraeder @chelseaonik.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Oh didn’t Quibi have a fantastic built in meme maker? Who has that? Could it be a team of creative technologists who aren’t evil?
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sitemap.xml Chelsea Onik Tetraeder @chelseaonik.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Who the fuck has turnstyle and what are they going to do with it? Shame if something cool and perfect actually for once
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sitemap.xml Chelsea Onik Tetraeder @chelseaonik.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Time to regulate tech instead of enslaving civilization. Scoot over.
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sitemap.xml Chelsea Onik Tetraeder @chelseaonik.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
Jeff care to enlighten me?
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sitemap.xml Chelsea Onik Tetraeder @chelseaonik.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
You can't just "copy and paste" quantum data. The laws of physics dictate a strict "no-cloning theorem"
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sitemap.xml Chelsea Onik Tetraeder @chelseaonik.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
Investigative entertainment reporting. Investigative media reporting. Investigative tech reporting.
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sitemap.xml Chelsea Onik Tetraeder @chelseaonik.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
What type of waves or frequencies would cause involuntary toe tapping and winking? Jeff is trying to tell me something, through physiology.
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sitemap.xml Chelsea Onik Tetraeder @chelseaonik.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
Ben Collin’s company is paying Alex Jones $81,000 a month to use the Infowars name and branding. Nothing is worth this. Is the talent ok with this?
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sitemap.xml Chelsea Onik Tetraeder @chelseaonik.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
Onto The ClickHole Accord. I assume the energy billionaires have met with the banking billionaires. Jeff. Stop paying Alex Jones and allow The Onion to be employee owned, then history is yours.
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sitemap.xml Chelsea Onik Tetraeder @chelseaonik.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
They don’t have a bunker. Their home is the bunker.
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sitemap.xml Chelsea Onik Tetraeder @chelseaonik.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
Heys Jeff 👋 so do you have a savant home system or….
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sitemap.xml Chelsea Onik Tetraeder @chelseaonik.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Where are we on going quantum?
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sitemap.xml Chelsea Onik Tetraeder @chelseaonik.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
So basically if we suspended the data centers in baby oil we would eliminate their dependance on water?
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sitemap.xml Chelsea Onik Tetraeder @chelseaonik.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
Free coding, free cooling
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sitemap.xml Chelsea Onik Tetraeder @chelseaonik.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
Adobe suite rebuilt in rust and open source
getartcraft.com
Crafting Apps: open-source creative tools
Image editing, vector illustration, video, photography, PDFs, motion graphics and page layout: seven native, open-source apps from the ArtCraft team, built in Rust and free to use.
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sitemap.xml Chelsea Onik Tetraeder @chelseaonik.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
Everyday there must be something on an oil rig, hey smh
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sitemap.xml Chelsea Onik Tetraeder @chelseaonik.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
Super Intelligence calls for Super Humanity
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sitemap.xml Chelsea Onik Tetraeder @chelseaonik.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
Hey Hamish 👋
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sitemap.xml Chelsea Onik Tetraeder @chelseaonik.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
The ball is still rolling. Alert 3556.
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sitemap.xml Chelsea Onik Tetraeder @chelseaonik.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Holy shit. Can you control my tongue? My tongue is going side to side a lot more today than it usually does. Not enough to make me say something, but you’re definitely at a first step!
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sitemap.xml Chelsea Onik Tetraeder @chelseaonik.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Cjajzhdheheuejsvz!.$:$2)2)/27273),$/&
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sitemap.xml Chelsea Onik Tetraeder @chelseaonik.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Jeff come study me. I want to be studied too!!!
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sitemap.xml Chelsea Onik Tetraeder @chelseaonik.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
There’s probably some solid material in here if I can get someone to take it off Bluesky and put it onto a place that promotes one-sides linear narratives
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sitemap.xml Chelsea Onik Tetraeder @chelseaonik.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
It’s like a two step process to erase a naked artist’s data from ChatGTP. Just call on them to do it. I don’t want your art in my slop anyway it’s a win win
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sitemap.xml Chelsea Onik Tetraeder @chelseaonik.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
If anyone rich wants to date me, this is an excellent time
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sitemap.xml Chelsea Onik Tetraeder @chelseaonik.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Sorry you need to use up your break waiting for the customer bathroom! Here’s a COFFEE CAKE BRAIDED PECAN BTR FILLED
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sitemap.xml Chelsea Onik Tetraeder @chelseaonik.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Bathrooms are still out, that’s great.
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sitemap.xml Chelsea Onik Tetraeder @chelseaonik.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Now if you excuse me I’d like to speak to Ben Hantoot directly: Bella, where the hell have you been, loca?
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sitemap.xml Chelsea Onik Tetraeder @chelseaonik.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
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sitemap.xml Chelsea Onik Tetraeder @chelseaonik.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
I’m sorry you don’t consider these people talented because they use technology? What’s wrong with you?
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sitemap.xml Chelsea Onik Tetraeder @chelseaonik.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
I’m not going to take suit from a guy who didn’t make his first digital address book on an Apple IIe until he was 6.
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sitemap.xml Chelsea Onik Tetraeder @chelseaonik.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Anyone can do this you think J*m Spanfeller and the tech billionaire of The Onion didn’t have ambitions of selling its data? This is not a hard thing to do.
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sitemap.xml Chelsea Onik Tetraeder @chelseaonik.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
What’s up?
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sitemap.xml Chelsea Onik Tetraeder @chelseaonik.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Can’t wait to probably get called in today.
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sitemap.xml Chelsea Onik Tetraeder @chelseaonik.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Every single fucking one of you.
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sitemap.xml Chelsea Onik Tetraeder @chelseaonik.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
I’m so hungry.
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sitemap.xml Chelsea Onik Tetraeder @chelseaonik.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
YELLS DOWN PRODUCE: WILL ONE OF YOU LET ME BACK IN?? IM RUNNING TO MONTROSE
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sitemap.xml Chelsea Onik Tetraeder @chelseaonik.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Call them.
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sitemap.xml Chelsea Onik Tetraeder @chelseaonik.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
@satiricalbeing.bsky.social did you remember to clock out at 12?!
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sitemap.xml Chelsea Onik Tetraeder @chelseaonik.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Yes I’ll clean up the baskets, it’s on my list!
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