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Jane Doe

@certainlynotliz.com
1.7K followers 2.1K following 729 posts

Just dancing through the lightning strikes. ALLCAPS. Opinions here are my own; nothing is an endorsement. 🫶 📚✈️ 📸 🏒

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Jane Doe @certainlynotliz.com · 26/08/2026
Everyone get mad at this very real logo. If you would like other small business related reasons to be mad please reach out, there are plenty, I'll walk you through them. - Your friendly neighborhood Little Business (apparently) Advocate
"Vintage-style blue and cream illustration of a circular seal for the Smaller War Plants Corporation. The seal features an Eye of Providence atop a brick pyramid, with the Latin motto 'Annuit Coeptis' arched above and a ribbon banner reading 'Little Business' below. The seal sits against a backdrop of an illustrated industrial skyline with factory buildings and smokestacks."
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Jane Doe @certainlynotliz.com · 11/08/2026
If you’re looking for a single quick view of your teams current status in real-time, the Microsoft 365 “people” companion app is built for this
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Jane Doe @certainlynotliz.com · 10/08/2026
And because I’ve committed to the bit
1989 (Taylor’s Version) cover made to look like the cover for Carl vin Clausewitz’s On War  (Carl’s Version)
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Jane Doe @certainlynotliz.com · 10/08/2026
His name is Carl and he was born in 1780
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Jane Doe @certainlynotliz.com · 13/07/2026
The way I will take any quiz that assigns me Pantone colors…
My Pantone birth chart palatte with Aries Sun, Aries Moon, Virgo Rising, and Aquarius Venus
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Jane Doe @certainlynotliz.com · 02/07/2026
Cartoon depiction of a pitcher of juice, the Kool-Aid man, with arms and legs, and a face painted on the pitcher, holding up a smaller pitcher with the words Oh Yeah! Under the pitcher's feet.
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Jane Doe @certainlynotliz.com · 01/07/2026
That’s it, I’m gonna fist fight the sun
A screenshot of the AccuWeather app showing the heat index in Alexandria, Va is currently 112 degrees
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Jane Doe @certainlynotliz.com · 02/04/2026
Chrome. It's 9am. What the fuck?
Screenshot of Chrome with 47 tabs open
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Jane Doe @certainlynotliz.com · 23/03/2026
Absolutely beautiful flowers, but I’ll never know who they’re from because the card was written in gibberish 😂
A vase of colorful flowers sitting on a shelf in front of a gallery wall
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Jane Doe @certainlynotliz.com · 25/02/2026
Two years later
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Jane Doe @certainlynotliz.com · 25/02/2026
A white background with black lettering with 
the NHL logo
HOCKEY IS FOR
EVERYONE
* Except Women when we are Getting Wasted with the Head of the FBI and Laughing About Them While on the Phone with the President
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Jane Doe @certainlynotliz.com · 24/02/2026
Just because I need to see it again
Hockey player Tom Wilson delivers a hit to Brody Tkchuk
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Jane Doe @certainlynotliz.com · 22/02/2026
And we still got this, which WAS satisfying
A picture Tom Wilson hitting a Tkachuk during the Olympic gold medal ice hockey game with the caption “hang it in the Louvre”
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Jane Doe @certainlynotliz.com · 18/02/2026
My dog, Wilson, has dementia and that means sometimes he gets really really anxious and it’s hard to redirect him and calm him down. What works? I’m so glad you asked, it’s, for reasons unknown, the Twilight movies. He’s totally locked in and it’s completely calmed him down 😂
A small brown and black dog, Wilson, laying on a sofa attentively watching the Twilight movie
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Jane Doe @certainlynotliz.com · 10/02/2026
Suited up for what feels like the first time in forever. The goal (as always) is to dress like that bear on the Polo sweaters
Picture of a feminine presenting human in front of a full length mirror in a blazer, button down, and adult  pants.
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Jane Doe @certainlynotliz.com · 12/01/2026
The absurdity of having to pay to receive packages at your own home
A screenshot from my buildings package locker registration screen showing the $20 registration fee and a late fee of $3 per day for not picking up a package fast enough.
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Jane Doe @certainlynotliz.com · 10/12/2025
but I need all those tabs
screen shot of the google chrome tab bar with what looks like at least 45 tabs open
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Jane Doe @certainlynotliz.com · 21/11/2025
Came here to get a dopamine hit from swifties psyched for cardigans but instead I found this. Happy break ruined.
Screenshot of trending topics that include: NATO, CDC, National Guard, Karoline Leavitt, Coast Guard, and The Archers
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Jane Doe @certainlynotliz.com · 18/11/2025
Thank you all for coming, there’s a lot on the agenda so we’ll skip the introductions
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Jane Doe @certainlynotliz.com · 17/11/2025
Linkedin is particularly odd today
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Jane Doe @certainlynotliz.com · 10/11/2025
My advice is always ruin the workplace
New York Time Headline “Did Women Ruin the Workplace?”
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Jane Doe @certainlynotliz.com · 27/10/2025
my robot interns are on the struggle bus today
Screenshot of AI response to "Hey! You're not supposed to be using betting market data!" reading "You're absolutely right - I apologize for the error, the instructions explicitly state "no speculation or unreliable sources allowed. Never include information from betting sites, casinos, odds makers, or any other entertainment based source" Screenshot of AI response reading "Thank you for clarifying - I can now confirm there IS an active government shutdown"
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Jane Doe @certainlynotliz.com · 24/10/2025
I bet you $20 that a millennial wrote this headline 😆
Screenshot of a headline reading "Bosses are firing Gen X Left and Right (And Honestly, We See Why)
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Jane Doe @certainlynotliz.com · 16/10/2025
Teams' got jokes this morning
A screen shot of a teams message reading 25% of men in New Zealand* are named Hamish
*not a real statistic but very probable
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Jane Doe @certainlynotliz.com · 12/10/2025
Saw my best friend since the second day of 7th grade today, in person, for the first time in 10 years. I already miss her
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Jane Doe @certainlynotliz.com · 11/10/2025
Remember that time I commanded my high school’s army? Took a tour today and the legacy endures (we won the award and also hand made that guideon in 1997) 🤣😂🤣 bonus picture of 15 year old me taking this way too seriously
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Jane Doe @certainlynotliz.com · 09/10/2025
cool cool cool cool cool cool cool
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Jane Doe @certainlynotliz.com · 08/10/2025
Seriously friends, this made my afternoon
screen shot of text from meeting recap reading: [Blank] explained that the meeting was initiated through your introduction, highlighting your role in connecting the parties. She emphasized your close working relationship and described you as a wonderful partner and advocate, which set a positive tone for the conversation.
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Jane Doe @certainlynotliz.com · 01/10/2025
I always thought the stereotype that the elderly eat dinner early was kinda fake, but then this elderly Trash Gremlin started harassing me for his dinner at 4:30pm, on the dot, every single day.
Photo of an elderly scruffy small black and tan dog begging for food
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Jane Doe @certainlynotliz.com · 30/09/2025
cool cool cool cool cool...totally normal stuff 😧
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Jane Doe @certainlynotliz.com · 26/09/2025
Well at least they added to cart this time?
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Jane Doe @certainlynotliz.com · 19/09/2025
I am cackling
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Jane Doe @certainlynotliz.com · 19/09/2025
I have a meeting in 7 minutes and we've been at less than a minute for two minutes now...will we make it?
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Jane Doe @certainlynotliz.com · 19/09/2025
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Jane Doe @certainlynotliz.com · 16/09/2025
I would like to issue a sincere apology for the consistent terrible jokes to whatever corporate minder has to monitor my teams chat with my work bestie/the strategy and operations to my strategy and growth.
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Jane Doe @certainlynotliz.com · 15/09/2025
A thing I’ve learned about losing a lot of weight is that people I haven’t seen in person in a while don’t seem to think it’s ok to acknowledge any difference at all. Like they get real awkward. Friends, I’m proud of this, this was work, please clap.
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Jane Doe @certainlynotliz.com · 10/09/2025
Is Navy Yard on fire? Everything ok over there?
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Jane Doe @certainlynotliz.com · 29/08/2025
Consulting/Management expense?!?!?
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Jane Doe @certainlynotliz.com · 21/08/2025
I’m on the largest commercial airliner that has ever existed, see? (I assume the map is to scale)
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Jane Doe @certainlynotliz.com · 21/08/2025
Aaaaannnddd…I am on a flight for another 3 hours 46 minutes
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Jane Doe @certainlynotliz.com · 20/08/2025
Besties, a thing has happened 😲
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Jane Doe @certainlynotliz.com · 12/08/2025
Challenge: post your last photo taken in DC to show what a hell-hole it is.
A sidewalk leading to the Capitol. Clean, pretty, peaceful and decidedly not a crime ridden shithole
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Jane Doe @certainlynotliz.com · 01/08/2025
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Jane Doe @certainlynotliz.com · 01/08/2025
She’s fully defrosted 🧂💨
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Jane Doe @certainlynotliz.com · 28/07/2025
“Pre work” is just regular work
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Jane Doe @certainlynotliz.com · 24/07/2025
Happy 5th birthday folklore
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Jane Doe @certainlynotliz.com · 17/07/2025
Why is LinkedIn?
A nope found in its natural habitat
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Jane Doe @certainlynotliz.com · 16/07/2025
Sorry buddy, we’ve gotta work
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Jane Doe @certainlynotliz.com · 17/06/2025
If only this meant I was doom scrolling less
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Jane Doe @certainlynotliz.com · 06/06/2025
And a happy fall asleep in your toy basket Friday to all who celebrate
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