iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Cavar 🏳️‍⚧️🇵🇸 ✡️ @cavar.bsky.social · 21/08/2026

I was also invited by @sarahclark.bsky.social to introduce the folio. I've been thinking a lot about what I wrote last year. Take my hand, refuse tact & sense. anmly.org/autistic-pro...

The small something could be a creature, perhaps a technology. Maybe, in more abstract terms, a political orientation or set of social norms. Looking back, I now understand “A small something” as part of a larger body of autistic poetic work, which, in my view, are always and already “protesting” neuronormative creative and political frameworks. Thinking back to the misleading figure of the savant and this demand for autistic exceptionality, it seems to me that to impute autistic life into our creative practices, to document it as it exists and not as our neurotypical counterparts with it were, then we must turn to a form prepared to resist normative grammars and restrictive relationships to language, activity, and achievement. After all, these very restrictions—this sociocultural “common sense”—are what got us into this mess in the first place: demands for tact over honesty, ambiguity over courage.

Instead, I want live in a poetics which refuses common sense, a poetics of autism.

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Cavar 🏳️‍⚧️🇵🇸 ✡️ @cavar.bsky.social · 21/08/2026

Read "Poem for my Empire" in ANMLY's amazing Autistic Protest Poetry folio here!! anmly.org/ap41/sarah-c...

[sarah] Cavar
Poem for my Empire

I am learning how to be weakness leaving the body.
I am licking citric atlas critic acid off my fingers.

Every day is keep doing my tasks keep reminding and head down.
Nobody minds the back kept slant until straight again.

My name are looking for rooms among all the names the
all the other names.

My Sarah looking for its girl among its mother.
A name is looking for more cells to burn.

I am learning to learn appropriating the hurts of others
Is the wrong kind of sorrow.

Doesn’t suit this age of me.
Doesn’t suit this plane of me, too flat, too full,
Too echoes.

I have viewed suffering as a sign of power. Why
Am I suffering at the edge of submission?

I just encountered a sharp ugly comfort
But it was not the product of my mind.

It is hard to want to die when everything is wanting to die
and hard to live.

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Cavar 🏳️‍⚧️🇵🇸 ✡️ @cavar.bsky.social · 30/05/2026

CAVARS WHEN IT'S TIME TO EXAMINE CLASS, FEMALE FRIENDSHIP, AND DISORDERED EATING www.astrolabe.ooo/cavar-skim

The "sickos" meme, with a man with a sickos shirt peering through a window as he says "yes...ha ha ha...yes!"

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Cavar 🏳️‍⚧️🇵🇸 ✡️ @cavar.bsky.social · 28/05/2026

Failure to Comply @featherproof.bsky.social and Differential Diagnosis @nupress.bsky.social are part of the same practice of generative refusal. Really glad I got to bring in both.

C: The distinction between liberatory and liberation is really important, and one I’ve been asked about often regarding Failure to Comply and Differential Diagnosis. With Failure, one of the most fundamental takeaways I wanted to leave the audience with is that words are a formidable weapon, but they cannot act alone. They need to be accompanied by other acts of resistance - violent, material, collective, persistent, ongoing. The axe can’t work alone, nor the knife, nor the gun. It’s frustrating and reductive when the arguments for the liberatory power of poetry always assume poetry is acting alone. It never is! Poets fight! We’re violent! We always have skin in the game. Poetry is one tool that some of us have chosen to hone. I think that it is a crucial part of a vast arsenal of practices of resistance, refusal, and liberatory pursuits.

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Cavar 🏳️‍⚧️🇵🇸 ✡️ @cavar.bsky.social · 20/04/2026

i am currently reading this insane [laudatory] book as we speak and using possibly the funniest bookmark ever while doing so

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Cavar 🏳️‍⚧️🇵🇸 ✡️ @cavar.bsky.social · 17/03/2026

Toronto!!! i'll be in your city next week for Differential Diagnosis's @nupress.bsky.social launch ft. Twoey Gray, at @anotherstoryto.bsky.social 🥰 Come talk transMadness + horrifying/horrible poetics + more with us on March 24!!! tickets here: www.eventbrite.ca/e/1976374074...

another story bookshop and northwestern university press present the toronto launch of differential diagnosis by cavar, in conversation with twoey gray

rsvp at cavar.eventbrite.ca
tuesday march 24 / 7pm
in store, 315 roncesvalles ave.

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Cavar 🏳️‍⚧️🇵🇸 ✡️ @cavar.bsky.social · 13/03/2026

catch me in these places reading + talking DIFFERENTIAL DIAGNOSIS @nupress.bsky.social !!! plain text in alt ofc. can't wait to see you all in Toronto, Columbia SC, Amherst MA, and Minneapolis!!! if you're not going to be there and want a signed bookplate, dm me your address and i'll send you one!

3/24, 7pm - Toronto, CAN

Another Story Bookshop w/ Twoey Gray

4/10, 6pm - Columbia, SC

Queer Haven Books w/ Evelyn Berry

4/21, 6:30pm - Amherst, MA

Amherst Books w/ Niamh Timmons

5/23, 6pm - Minneapolis, MN

Boneshaker Books w/ Danez Smith

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Cavar 🏳️‍⚧️🇵🇸 ✡️ @cavar.bsky.social · 04/03/2026

awpeople....i am here!!!! find me places. especially would love for you to come to Crafting Trans Horror ft. @zefrrr.bsky.social @lunareyhall.com @olivasthewriter.bsky.social @nicanstett.bsky.social it's going to be so so so awesome!!! 👻

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Cavar 🏳️‍⚧️🇵🇸 ✡️ @cavar.bsky.social · 15/02/2026

you can also send something in these ways; send me a copy of your receipt and I'll happily send e-copies of my books. and thank you! www.paypal.me/sarahcavar

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Cavar 🏳️‍⚧️🇵🇸 ✡️ @cavar.bsky.social · 15/02/2026

things are hard financially, so i wanted to bump my editing commissions page! i am available for editing, proofreading, process consultations, and select sensitivity reading for creative and academic works, including cover letters, agent query letters, & personal statements. www.cavar.club/editing

Freelance Info & Rates
Thanks for considering me as a partner in your important project! Whether you’re applying to college or grad school or a new job; perfecting a poem, story, or essay; or need a push to move forward on your next big project, I’m happy to provide editorial support and creative mentorship. The rates listed below, unless otherwise specified, apply to a broad editorial package featuring proofreading, developmental edits/suggestions, and copyedits.

AI Statement: I am committed to integrity as a human editor, and as such, do not use AI at any stage in the editorial/feedback process.

For all of the below services as well as other inquiries, please email editorialcavar at gmail.com, or click here.

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Cavar 🏳️‍⚧️🇵🇸 ✡️ @cavar.bsky.social · 17/01/2026

two incredible transMad poets, Crystal Odelle and Cameron Awkward-Rich, left generous blurbs. Check them out!

"TransMad automythology, diagnostic of refusal, animal / bodymind of hunger grief play--Differential Diagnosis asks why peer precisely at what can't be measured. Whether internal organ or fridge door, Cavar is gracious, opens and langues what's inside: a whole of holes, the riddled disease, all that can be / is, and lives."--Crystal Odelle, author of Trans Studies

"Reveling in poetry's tendency toward 'bloat' and excess and not-yet-normalized syntax, this propulsive debut collection showcases and delights in the poet's mad wit. Through Cavar's serious humor and playful theorizing and clever attempts to 'outwit' Gender, psychopower, and 'commonsense, ' Differential Diagnosis offers all of us who sense that we were "born in the wrong episteme" strategies for making and making 'where the nameless live.'" --Cameron Awkward-Rich, author of An Optimism

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Cavar 🏳️‍⚧️🇵🇸 ✡️ @cavar.bsky.social · 08/12/2025

Show me a picture on your phone that has your energy that isn’t a selfie

Diagram of a face wearing glasses, illustrating how to connect glasses chains to one’s stretched ears. The text reads “swappable chains of your choosing / chain connects to tunnels/plugs / balances both form and function.” It is part of a Reddit post captioned “everyone, I have designed stylish eyeglass chains for those who wear and drop their glasses a lot :)”

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Cavar 🏳️‍⚧️🇵🇸 ✡️ @cavar.bsky.social · 25/11/2025

FJKDSHFJDHFKDJ I PUT THIS IN MY DISSERTATION AND FORGOT ABOUT IT AND NOW IT'S ON PROQUEST???????

These practices, naturally, inspired and continue to inspire debates which never fail to strike me as painfully passé and also in dire need of my unsolicited opinion.

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Cavar 🏳️‍⚧️🇵🇸 ✡️ @cavar.bsky.social · 23/11/2025

hello all semi/nonhuman entities & accomplices, i'm editing a @fifthwheelpress.bsky.social blog series on multispecies / alterhuman writing, and submissions are open now through Dec 15!!! You should submit something! Especially if you're unpublished! Don't self-reject! fifthwheelpress.com/blogsubs

submission guidelines: Alterhuman/Multispecies
Some people aren’t human. Actually, mostly people aren’t: cats, sharks, trees, rocks, and everyone in between each hold histories and vital relationships that are too often sidelined in favor of anthropocentric narratives. For this call, I want to see stories in which the idea(l) of human individualism is narratively and poetically challenged. Stretch and break the bounds of who is typically afforded a voice; who matters; who counts as an ally in the struggle for collective liberation; and who determines what it means to be a person at all. In addition to more conventionally multispecies/nonhuman narratives, I’m particularly interested in works by/featuring alterhuman characters and themes, and am looking for the complex, imaginative, thoughtful over the polemic/educational.

Regular fwp length guidelines apply (up to 1500 words/no more than 3 pages of poetry/hybrid pieces).

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Cavar 🏳️‍⚧️🇵🇸 ✡️ @cavar.bsky.social · 15/10/2025

find my pieces & audios here. and check out everyone's incredible work! anmly.org/ap41/sarah-c...

I am learning how to be weakness leaving the body.
I am licking citric atlas critic acid off my fingers.

Every day is keep doing my tasks keep reminding and head down.
Nobody minds the back kept slant until straight again.

My name are looking for rooms among all the names the
all the other names.

My Sarah looking for its girl among its mother.
A name is looking for more cells to burn.

I am learning to learn appropriating the hurts of others
Is the wrong kind of sorrow.

Doesn’t suit this age of me.
Doesn’t suit this plane of me, too flat, too full,
Too echoes.

I have viewed suffering as a sign of power. Why
Am I suffering at the edge of submission?

I just encountered a sharp ugly comfort
But it was not the product of my mind.

It is hard to want to die when everything is wanting to die
and hard to live.

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Cavar 🏳️‍⚧️🇵🇸 ✡️ @cavar.bsky.social · 15/10/2025

thank you @anmlymag.bsky.social / @sarahclark.bsky.social for making space for autistic protest poetry & inviting me to introduce the issue. as i read through these works, i feel i can see the future of our craft. anmly.org/autistic-pro...

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Cavar 🏳️‍⚧️🇵🇸 ✡️ @cavar.bsky.social · 02/10/2025

a new poem about one of my/our names in @petrichorlit.bsky.social :) petrichormag.com/28-sarah-cavar

I follow my knowledge to neck
solar plexus waist spoon-hips
pale thighs. And so follows the
sun in hasty afterwards.
A small opacity of lies
between our bodies: mine &
theirs & rayoflight’s. When I
bow service in the shadow of
our name we drapes me in their
clothing. When I kiss their feet
they render us a broken prince.

Pronouns are erotic, though
this is difficult to notice
still harder to admit: I: am:
I: a narrow panic, lightness
tightened to a throaty vowel.
This, I am told, her body
does, spoons favor from my
open mouth. Snaps elastics
of my flesh. I do not want to
know anymore, third penitent
in the booth of our name. But
my sun is just a star, turning
at the horror of our closeness.

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Cavar 🏳️‍⚧️🇵🇸 ✡️ @cavar.bsky.social · 02/08/2025

Happening at Barnes and Noble Smithfield Rhode Island!!!! 2pm today AKA in half an hour!!!!!

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Cavar 🏳️‍⚧️🇵🇸 ✡️ @cavar.bsky.social · 24/07/2025

very pleased to announce that my tribute to the dolls, "mushroom girls in love: redux", was nominated for @sundresspub.bsky.social Best of the Net by @fifthwheelpress.bsky.social ! <333

mushroom girls in love: redux
[sarah] Cavar
Themes: monster girls, yuri

Love comes in all sizes. Blame it on those gods
I guess. Plenty of inserts with explanations,
illness, operations, and even a dastardly royal
plot. While this fungi world may seem a yuri
paradise (Adorable concept + a shroompedia)
I recommend only for the yuri completionist
or mycological fanatic. if you’re looking for
something that “makes sense” and “is cohesive,”
look somewhere else. (1)

When mushroom girls fall in love, fertilizer mute-dances on their undulating
rhizome.
When they fall, their carrotlove greens top 4 orange bottom. | Fuck | makes a
plump round sound.
Morphology:
Mushroom girls are also tight. In the right ways. Vast, too, like
hazes mazes and ramps. When they tangle they can feel
their beating insides breathe together, gilled undervents
turning into breathing mouths. Mushroom girls say | let me
love you with my million miniature mouths. | Mushroom girls
treat love like a challenge. And mushroom girls will not back
down without a fight.

1 Found text fragments compiled from online reviews and descriptions of Mushroom Girls in Love by Kei Murayama (Seven Seas Press, 2018)

Etiology:
Mushroom girls emerge in damp conditions. Prefer the rain.
Prefer-prefer the period just after, not so that they might
smell the dewgrass or stare into emergent rainbows, but so
they might snuggle deep inside the mud, make their beds in
it. A bed of leaves and twigs. A bed of bugs. A bed of eating.
Mushroom girls eat dirt and perhaps each other.
Epistemology:
Mushroom girls a million ways & birth more girls on every
edge. Think in rain and damp and moss and muck. Make
love to yucky things. But mushroom girls know no yuck:
everything is mushroom girls given time & tenderness.
Phenomenology:
There is no mushroom girl. Mushroom girls are plural already.
One implies another, because mushroom girls cannot make
it alone.
Today storms beat the windows and the doors and swinging tree limbs
back and forth and drains emit their alto gurgle and frogs & salamanders
dance the edges. Dirt makes brown-damp paste. Worms wind manylooping
notions. Under mooncover, mushroom girls make the most egregious haste.
But slugs come first.

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Cavar 🏳️‍⚧️🇵🇸 ✡️ @cavar.bsky.social · 13/06/2025

Somehow, #phdone!!!! Today I walked at graduation and am officially Dr. Cavar. Thank you everyone for your support!!!!!!!

Me, Cavar, in a hood, cap and gown and keffiyeh, standing with my advisor, Colin milburn, in red regalia.

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Cavar 🏳️‍⚧️🇵🇸 ✡️ @cavar.bsky.social · 17/04/2025

you can also find a rich trove of autistic poetry & poetics in Mel Baggs (z'l)'s archive. Sie wrote as a sibling to the redwoods and oaks of her home, to the water, to the rocks, and to anyone of any species denied rightful access to personhood.

I’ve learned to sustain myself
In tiny drops of water
From oases so small
They’re invisible
To the naked eye

You flow over jagged rocks
Like a mountain spring
That reminds me
I’ve forgotten how
To be thirsty

Over the trees
I see
A flock of birds
Made out of nothing but light
A flock of birds
Waiting for your final flight
So don’t be afraid
Don’t be afraid when they come
They’re only coming
To welcome you home
When it’s time to fly away
Then fly away
Don’t hold out too long
Trying to stay
You have the whole of eternity
To fly into

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Cavar 🏳️‍⚧️🇵🇸 ✡️ @cavar.bsky.social · 06/04/2025

visual aid. don’t miss the free feet pic guys it’s a rare one

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Cavar 🏳️‍⚧️🇵🇸 ✡️ @cavar.bsky.social · 29/03/2025

Trans Horror was so packed last night I'm still wordless with joy. It was beyond my wildest dreams as to what an AWP offsite could be, thanks to so many amazing writers and a truly fantastic audience. Ty everyone who made it possible. (photo creds to @lunareyhall.com + @cdeskilson.bsky.social !!)

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Cavar 🏳️‍⚧️🇵🇸 ✡️ @cavar.bsky.social · 26/03/2025

Out like a Lamb is TONIGHT, 7pm @ the Wayfarer!!!!!!! I’ll be wearing my cow print pants and reading about trans dyke cyborg sex YEEHAW come through

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Cavar 🏳️‍⚧️🇵🇸 ✡️ @cavar.bsky.social · 23/03/2025

here's my silly little awp graphic. excited to rep @manyworlds.place at Out Like a Lamb + sign with @featherproof.bsky.social + @whaleroadreview.bsky.social. Plus, check out the offsite I'm co-hosting with the incredible @cdeskilson.bsky.social, A Night of Trans Horror!

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Cavar 🏳️‍⚧️🇵🇸 ✡️ @cavar.bsky.social · 28/02/2025

@poemsandcake.bsky.social and I had a magical chat at Firestorm Co-Op last summer just a week after FAILURE TO COMPLY was published. Today, I get to share it with you again on @honeyliterary.bsky.social. Feeling haunted & encouraged by my own words. www.honeyliterary.com/issue9/the-l...

Cavar: Yes, very much so. I could like listen to you talk about archives all day, 'cause like this was just really delightful to listen to. (Diamond laughing) But very much so. I think coming into college, I, as a teenager, I experienced forced institutionalization for being Mad and a sort of lifetime of medical and psychiatric abuse prior to and subsequent to that. And I was trying to figure out the way I was going to relate to this sort of language that had been used, both as an excuse and as violation in and of itself toward me. And I couldn't go so far as to disavow it because that would be proving the powers that be right. And I couldn't embrace it because, you know, obviously I'm not gonna do that. And so, obviously I learned that the word I should use for this is disidentification when I first read José Esteban Muñoz.

But around that same time, I was also getting super, super theory-headed in my freshman year of college. And, reading Muñoz, reading Foucault, reading Spillers, reading Hartman, reading Moten, reading all of these people who all were talking about the same thing—and that is whatever violations power attempts to make, those violations are immense, but they're never totalizing. That's literally not possible. Because if power were totalizing, we wouldn't be able to name it.

And of course, many people in the context of this novel are not able to name the power that RSCH has over them. Because RSCH, the imagination in this novel is a database that is never complete, and never searchable, fully. And there are words and there are linguistic turns of phrase that are only able to be thought about in very particular ways. And that's of course a way of narrowing the forms of thought that are allowed. And therefore, like the possibilities of resistance.

But as someone who is not… I mean, we're getting closer and closer, but we're not quite here. And by here, I'm pointing to the cover of my very scary book. (Diamond chuckles) We still have the ability to a degree to think, to think at the frayed edges and the borders of power, to think at the edges of legibility and common sense.

And all of these writers that I was reading were kind of talking about how do we step beyond this or how do we at least peek? And so I'm interested in thinking about what is archive, thinking about what is sensical, what is history, what is normal.

In being like, okay, what if we just rip that? Like these stickers here (Cavar grabs a set of stickers from the table). There's wax paper and then there's plastic. And so what if we just do this? You know what I mean? For the audio people, I'm peeling the sticker off of the wax.

And so I'm thinking about how to write a book about archives and about memory that does that.

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Cavar 🏳️‍⚧️🇵🇸 ✡️ @cavar.bsky.social · 11/02/2025

You can support me (+other trans/disabled/Mad authors) by requesting our books at your library/ordering them at your local indie or on Bookshop, as well as just spreading the word. I'm also excited to announce that FAILURE TO COMPLY is available from the @queerliblib.bsky.social as of this month.

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Cavar 🏳️‍⚧️🇵🇸 ✡️ @cavar.bsky.social · 11/02/2025

I write with & an informed by my experiences with trans, disability justice, and Mad scholar-activism. You can see some of my thinking/genealogy in this interview for Archer Magazine. "I'm concerned about who's already trapped in the future." archermagazine.com.au/2025/01/arch...

KS: I’m thinking of this passage near the end describing a last generation of activists who used slogans such as, ‘THINK ME WEAK/BUT I AM POWER.’ Like their bodies, they deviantly grammared. I wonder what your thoughts are on claiming, using, reusing, breaking or fragmenting language?

Cavar: I first learned that grammar could talk about something other than parts of speech when I read the paper ‘Mama’s Baby, Papa’s Maybe’ by Hortense Spillers, which is subtitled ‘An American Grammar Book’. It talks about this process during the Transatlantic Slave Trade by which African persons were transformed into chattel as the founding grammar of US American society, and this thinking about the world was extremely influential for me.

Poetry has been really helpful. Reading more about variations to English like pidginisation has helped with that. Also, in my sophomore year of college, a beloved professor told me that I was allowed to make up my own term if there was no term, and then I saw that reinforced within the trans communities that I moved through – being in a place where it was completely normal and expected to change your name, change your pronouns, change your signifiers. Go by something no one else understands.

All these things together – even if they aren’t direct super-material means of Resistance ™ – illustrate cracks in a grammar that society presumes to be natural. Calling attention to those cracks is extremely important.

KS: The uses and abuses of technology – for surgery, for surveillance, for medicine, for data collection – are a major theme in the novel, both in the oppressive setting and in characters’ resistance and liberation. What are your thoughts about the state of technology now?

Cavar: I owe a lot of my thinking about the drawbacks of technology under systems of neoliberalism and racial capitalism to people like Ruha Benjamin and, more recently, to Legacy Russell. These are Black feminist theorists talking about the brokering of data as an expansion of chattel slavery, and the accumulation and usage of data as a means of controlling populations more broadly. Also, Simone Browne writes about contemporary policing and surveillance practices and their relation to slavery and settler colonialism, and the literal ones practiced in prisons and psychiatric institutions.

Anything understood as speculative, if it is imaginable, is happening somewhere, to someone, even if it looks different. My fears around new technologies are less about what the future could look like, and more about who the future is already happening to. In the example of climate change, it is discussed as something that might happen in the future, when entire islands are already going underwater. I’m concerned about who’s already trapped in the future.

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Cavar 🏳️‍⚧️🇵🇸 ✡️ @cavar.bsky.social · 24/01/2025

Check out this interview I did for Archer on noncompliance, abolition, fucked-up tech, Madness, and more. archermagazine.com.au/2025/01/arch...

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Cavar 🏳️‍⚧️🇵🇸 ✡️ @cavar.bsky.social · 24/01/2025

Without downloading any new pics, where are you mentally?

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Cavar 🏳️‍⚧️🇵🇸 ✡️ @cavar.bsky.social · 12/01/2025

Your last saved meme is your moral philosophy Tankie moment?!???

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Cavar 🏳️‍⚧️🇵🇸 ✡️ @cavar.bsky.social · 08/01/2025

hi #sfwa ppl, this is my 1st year ever being ~awards eligible~ so i wanted to share 2 qualifying pieces! my debut novel, FAILURE TO COMPLY. sf body horror abt trans Mad dykes at the limits of the imaginable, languagable, & possible. sfwa members can download here: www.sfwa.org/forum/profil...

Prelude
the long necked axe struck clean out of me my most beloved
memories. Had my beloved been here with me, they could not have helped.
There are things, I learn, that they cannot do. As for me, there was never
hope for correction, as all my impurities have long known love. T h e r e
comes a time when the bad is loved so much it can neither be corrected nor
lived without. Love is like a binding seal, a wax to keep the imperfection in,
thick enough for water to skim yet never penetrate. Without the love, we
become easy to replace.
What is to be replaced when the eyes are shut. When the eyes are on
other things
An axe turned me from a loved into a a silence. This was final cut,
the thing to separate me from all I loved. Here I was at the brink of every-
thing
real. Nothingness wrung cool and sure in its wake, but I would not
know, because by then I was long gone.
Slated for replacement, I was naked: an Uncitizen. Eventually I
would receive a gown, light as air, translucent and white, all white, so white it
hurt my eyes even when the lids were shut. The opacity of a Citizen’s clothes
turned when I wore them to a jokelike gauze, transparent as
but I ahead myself. Know I was wrapped in a gauze that served
no purpose but shame.
With the swing of an axe, one makes a Citizens’ arrest.
a process by which the one swinging reasserted hisor-
her status as Citizen by stripping an Impure body of
its own

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Cavar 🏳️‍⚧️🇵🇸 ✡️ @cavar.bsky.social · 20/12/2024

my holes in electric lit! (lol) electricliterature.com/two-poems-by...

When I taste blood
my mouth don’t see it
as a bad thing.

See, every night I affront the mirror
w/ sordid tales of glorified
flossing.

So ask me: Does all my narrow
make this teeth look fat?

/

I don’t know

about you, but I was born in the wrong
episteime. My contrite gums
are cherry, jaw fusty.

&thus my slutty canines make lust
to the sound of tribbing
paradigms.

&thus I have cavities in my
cavities and also many
unofficial holes.

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Cavar 🏳️‍⚧️🇵🇸 ✡️ @cavar.bsky.social · 15/12/2024

thank you from the bottom of my cold dystopian heart to @stromberg.bsky.social for this smart, generous review of FAILURE TO COMPLY. tbh, it doubles as a "reader's guide," and I am delighted that people are engaging rigorously but also on F2C's own terms. buy!!: bookshop.org/a/81294/9781...

RSCH first founded its hegemonocosm on violent purges and maintains it through brainwashing and oppression, all justified on the grounds of being “evidence based” — the logic of which is naturally circular: the admissibility of evidence is determined by a regime whose overwhelming violence allows it to arrogate to itself sole arbitership of what is Real. This equivocal “heads I win, tails you lose” logic imparts power on the regime precisely by convincing its victims that it is they who are evil. Indeed, it appears almost nobody ever rebels or resists. Most seem cowed by the impossibility.

But RSCH wouldn’t need all these laws against deviancy if people didn’t sometimes fail to comply.

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Cavar 🏳️‍⚧️🇵🇸 ✡️ @cavar.bsky.social · 12/12/2024

some light reading while on my way to Boston for the day 😝 @scumbelievable.bsky.social 📚💙 #horrorsky

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Cavar 🏳️‍⚧️🇵🇸 ✡️ @cavar.bsky.social · 04/12/2024

someone left a bit of light reading in a campus bathroom for us!

The Bhagavad Gita on top of a paper towel dispenser.

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Cavar 🏳️‍⚧️🇵🇸 ✡️ @cavar.bsky.social · 03/12/2024

An oldie but a goodie! beestungmag.com/issue04/one-...

Orange Season

In the future, we volunteer at the produce-distribution collective because we feel like it and because we really should and because we enjoy the smell of early-summer oranges as they roll toward us in great, eponymous tidal waves. Each has just been plucked by volunteers next door, who work in half-hour rotations so as not to succumb to the brutal May heat.

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Cavar 🏳️‍⚧️🇵🇸 ✡️ @cavar.bsky.social · 27/11/2024

but as far as others' go, i love HOW MUCH OF THESE HILLS IS GOLD by C Pam Zhang and THE ADVENTURES OF AMINA AL SIRAFI by Shannon Chakraborty!

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Cavar 🏳️‍⚧️🇵🇸 ✡️ @cavar.bsky.social · 27/11/2024

i'm in love with mine!! bookshop.org/p/books/fail...

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Cavar 🏳️‍⚧️🇵🇸 ✡️ @cavar.bsky.social · 27/11/2024

Another essay of mine is in Nat Brut, "The Beholding & Beheld: Madness and the Question of Care," written after a broken pelvis shattered (ha) my existing understanding of myself as a disabled person, + looks at questions of access intimacy, care, and in/ter/dependence. www.natbrut.com/sarah-cavar

What if this is the moment that I learn how to eat again. Am I ready? Am I ready, in a sense, to be cared-for, to be cared-out? I mean, to be cared-about? There is a feeling I get just from sitting, back hardly grazing my chair, inflamed, puffed-up skin grazing the place where the chair back meets the seat, and it itches and tingles but is numb in the places that matter. I locate in that itchy spot everything I have felt for the past 72 hours. I watch it move outward to my pelvis, to my stomach, to all the tiny muscles in my groin that pull and pull and pull, that tell me pain is constant whether in my bed or out of it, standing still or walking, that this pain, whatever number I assign it, will not leave.

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Cavar 🏳️‍⚧️🇵🇸 ✡️ @cavar.bsky.social · 27/11/2024

+ a complete family / hstry, a lyric essay in @honeyliterary.bsky.social about choosing to get a hysterectomy at age 20, being an agender / trans person and writer, and refusing to (re)produce a familial lineage. www.honeyliterary.com/issue4/hybri...

There is something poetic in scarring the site of the umbilical cord.8 In doing so, I deny the very people whose (re)productive efforts rendered me possible, upended the dynasty whose heterosexual whiteness brought them from poverty to vermouth and price-less menus. This, and the refrain: all we want is for you, someday, to do better than us. This is why we have you. When you’re a parent, you will want the same for your children. Now my children die in the biohazard bin. My children are medical waste. My children, like all children, are not children but misplaced possibilities.
I think often about the difference between “last" and “final,” the way that “last" can be Novocain for existential dread. For every Last Supper, there is a last week; for every last gasp, last-minute redemption. “Last" was recent blood, was when was your last period and is there any chance you might be pregnant? I was only the most recent of a coming-many, an Atlas to my family tree, the most recent of my bodies. "Last Girl Cavar” was bestowed upon me with pride and anxiety. In this instance, the girl is merely the promise of a woman who will make more, more, more. The girl is not an affinity but an obligation.
I am not a girl but I am the final. I tell the story of a family history that will soon end. Without intending to do so, I have ended history: severing it and slowly, painfully, excreting what remains.

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Cavar 🏳️‍⚧️🇵🇸 ✡️ @cavar.bsky.social · 23/11/2024

+ another one of my relatively rare hopeful poems in where meadows, a new mag I'm really excited about, "nude / poem / with ( top : scar )" notably, this one does a couple trans / genderqueer things with language, including piloting æ/ær pronouns, which i love but rarely get to use

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