iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Carson Olshansky @carsonolshansky.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

I don’t need to watch superhero movies. They’re gonna save us from the monsters either way. We’ll be okay.

040

Carson Olshansky @carsonolshansky.bsky.social · 02/03/2026

Dude, sometimes I’ll take a melatonin and then just stay awake for the buzz

070

Carson Olshansky @carsonolshansky.bsky.social · 28/02/2026

Nothing quite like spending a warm day sitting in the park until you need to pee worse than you’ve ever needed to pee in your life 😌

060

Carson Olshansky @carsonolshansky.bsky.social · 21/12/2025

Whenever I shake someone’s hand, I’m always surprised by how much softer it is than I would’ve guessed, which leads me to conclude that I must think hands are really hard and gross

070

Carson Olshansky @carsonolshansky.bsky.social · 01/12/2025

Practice is so important. All the time I’ve spent drawing, painting, and crocheting has made me really good at not getting writing done.

110410

Carson Olshansky @carsonolshansky.bsky.social · 24/11/2025

I’m gonna be honest - I would’ve guessed keeping myself alive as an adult would have less in common with taking care of a Tamagotchi

0121

Carson Olshansky @carsonolshansky.bsky.social · 27/09/2025

Being nonbinary is awesome if you love doing multivariable calc every time you get the check on a date

090

Carson Olshansky @carsonolshansky.bsky.social · 17/05/2025

I love when someone offers me a cigarette, cause it means they haven’t figured out my whole deal yet

080

Carson Olshansky @carsonolshansky.bsky.social · 19/04/2025

The coolest thing a person can be is in love with one of my friends. More people should be in love with one of my friends.

061

Carson Olshansky @carsonolshansky.bsky.social · 19/04/2025

So beautiful to see all these New Yorkers out celebrating the first hot stinky garbage smell day of the year 🌸

060

Carson Olshansky @carsonolshansky.bsky.social · 13/04/2025

Running into acquaintances is so scary. Oh, so now some random guy gets to know what it looks like when I go from my regular face to my people face?

070

Carson Olshansky @carsonolshansky.bsky.social · 19/03/2025

One of the most beautiful displays of human nature is when someone comes into a space for the first time and tries to make fun of someone else for being an idiot, but then everyone else is like “hey! That’s OUR idiot!”

070

Carson Olshansky @carsonolshansky.bsky.social · 14/03/2025

Sometimes, a music person will use a term like “slowcore” that makes me feel stupid, and then I’ll start using that term and making other people feel stupid, and this is how we perpetuate the cycle of being unpleasant to talk to

0101

Carson Olshansky @carsonolshansky.bsky.social · 05/03/2025

Keeping in touch with heterosexual culture by having a fast-casual salad bowl in midtown

080

Carson Olshansky @carsonolshansky.bsky.social · 26/02/2025

Tired of having friends who challenge me to be better. Time to make friends who make me think “least I’m not that guy”

180

Carson Olshansky @carsonolshansky.bsky.social · 25/02/2025

New Substack is up about nudity, egg freezing, dysphoria, and the arbitrariness of examination room rules open.substack.com/pub/reviewmo...

150

Reposted by Carson Olshansky

Josh Gondelman @joshgondelman.bsky.social · 06/02/2025

Brooklyn: I'm doing a What's New? show on Sunday at Union Hell telling a bunch of new jokes! And I've got very funny guests Myq Kaplan, Carson Olshansky, and Hoodo Hersi who will be telling jokes too! Yes, you'll miss the first quarter of the Super Bowl. It's fine! Tickets:

eventbrite.com

Josh Gondelman: What's New?

Josh Gondelman: What's New? - Sunday, February 9 - 4:30pm Doors / 5:00pm Show

3745

Carson Olshansky @carsonolshansky.bsky.social · 21/01/2025

Hot chocolate is the perfect sweet treat for when you wanna be reminded that nothing is ever as you remember it and innocence, once gone, is lost forever

0100

Reposted by Carson Olshansky

Lily @lilywrites.bsky.social · 17/01/2025

anyway maybe the wrong time but one thing i did to procrastinate on writing last week is watch a bunch of davinci resolve tutorials to make it look like mulholland drive aired on the disney channel in 2007

010227

Carson Olshansky @carsonolshansky.bsky.social · 14/01/2025

Working on this new idea for a world where people are nice

090

Carson Olshansky @carsonolshansky.bsky.social · 08/01/2025

My mom used to sing me “Both Sides Now” as a lullaby, so by the time I was watching Teletubbies, I was like “well this is only half the story”

060

Carson Olshansky @carsonolshansky.bsky.social · 03/01/2025

It’s so important for schools to fund arts programs. Otherwise, how will kids who don’t know they’re trans yet find other kids who don’t know they’re trans yet to have weirdly charged friendships with?

070

Carson Olshansky @carsonolshansky.bsky.social · 01/01/2025

If you text someone “so???” at 12:05 on new years, it means did you kiss

030

Carson Olshansky @carsonolshansky.bsky.social · 17/12/2024

Crazy that we teach kids about dinosaurs immediately. Like, you like these guys? Well the passage of time is irreversible, and extinction is inevitable.

0101

Carson Olshansky @carsonolshansky.bsky.social · 11/12/2024

I need more 23-year-old friends. Stories are no fun when everyone in them makes mature, reasonable decisions.

081

Carson Olshansky @carsonolshansky.bsky.social · 05/12/2024

Host: hey, you’re up next. What credit should I use? *5 min later* You may know this next comic from the time they wrote a letter so considerate it made their therapist tear up. Put your hands together for Carson Olshansky!

1862