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lady bea

@captaingrammar.bsky.social
87 followers 99 following 469 posts

30-something. She/her. Amateur knitter and professional third wheel.

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lady bea @captaingrammar.bsky.social · 12h
@timdownie.bsky.social Just wanted to give you a heads up that there's a fake account impersonating you! I've blocked and reported it to the Bsky team but thought I should let you know.
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lady bea @captaingrammar.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
What the fuck even is my algorithm?
An advert from Shein Home of an anthropomorphic ghost, on all fours, back arched and caked-up booty in the air. It's supposed to be a tealight holder for Halloween, but it's terrifying in all the wrong ways.
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lady bea @captaingrammar.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
Cool. Leave him there.
Screenshot of a headline from The Verge that reads: "Google is sending MrBeast into the wilderness, armed with AI". Frankly, unless that wilderness is the arctic tundra, it's not wild enough.
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lady bea @captaingrammar.bsky.social · 12/08/2026
I don't give a fuck what anyone says, space shit is *so cool*! #eclipse2026
A smart phone picture of the solar eclipse, taken through eclipse glasses. The sun looks like a tiny crescent moon.
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lady bea @captaingrammar.bsky.social · 04/08/2026
No cheating (not sure why you would): post your lockscreen
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lady bea @captaingrammar.bsky.social · 15/07/2026
'Hair' today, gone the next.
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lady bea @captaingrammar.bsky.social · 05/07/2026
Best pub sign I've seen in ages. Well done, Hythe.
Fantastic chalkboard on a bricked walkway. Writing reads: "Our chef has two Michelin tyres" and "Soup of the Day: whiskey".
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lady bea @captaingrammar.bsky.social · 02/07/2026
My ideal partner would enjoy a trip to Chetham's Library in Manchester...
A picture of the interior of Chetham's Library where, apparently, the Dark Academia aesthetic was born. Black wooden shelves, gates and vaulted beams... Delightful!
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lady bea @captaingrammar.bsky.social · 29/06/2026
Absolutely smashed the puzzle today, @hankgreen.bsky.social!
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lady bea @captaingrammar.bsky.social · 22/06/2026
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lady bea @captaingrammar.bsky.social · 17/06/2026
Sharing this here for posterity because I have never in my life been better than average at a sudoku.
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lady bea @captaingrammar.bsky.social · 30/04/2026
Me: I should buy simpler jewellery. Something 'classic' that goes with everything. Also me: YOU NEED THIS MEDUSA HEAD NECKLACE.
An image of a detailed Medusa head pendant - a female with snakes for hair - rendered in titanium with a titanium rope chain. The kind of thing which would raise questions and eyebrows if you wore it to work.
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lady bea @captaingrammar.bsky.social · 16/04/2026
Well, Bluesky's error messages are a little intense, no?
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lady bea @captaingrammar.bsky.social · 13/02/2026
Featuring classics such as "O Lonely Night" and "Single Bell Rock"...
Tweet from user @jzux that reads: going Valentine's Day caroling (crying in public)

This very much reflects my thoughts on this so-called 'holiday'.
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lady bea @captaingrammar.bsky.social · 31/01/2026
QTP with a fictional female character you love!
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lady bea @captaingrammar.bsky.social · 13/01/2026
For reference: www.identifymedals.com/article/iron... There's always a chance this is *entirely coincidental*. However, there's also a non-zero chance that I could sprout wings and fly to Neverland, so...
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lady bea @captaingrammar.bsky.social · 08/01/2026
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lady bea @captaingrammar.bsky.social · 03/01/2026
It's giving Muse's 'Absolution'...
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lady bea @captaingrammar.bsky.social · 06/12/2025
Pantone's Colour of the Year is... Well, it's just fucking white, isn't it?
An image depicting a man wearing flowing white trousers and shirt, standing on a white and blue, cloudy background. He's standing as though ready to be accepted into heaven, which is ironic, considering I would dearly love to send those who selected WHITE as Colour of the Year to have a fucking word with their maker.
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lady bea @captaingrammar.bsky.social · 30/11/2025
Sacrifices were made (I had to move cactii and a tradescantia in a macrame hanger, then wrangle a tension rod)
Snowflake-shaped curtain lights hanging in a window, with numerous succulents and a begonia maculata in front of them
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lady bea @captaingrammar.bsky.social · 20/11/2025
This is not a drill, people - Stargate's comin' back!
Headline from Variety.com: New 'Stargate' TV Series Ordered at Amazon from 'Blindspot' Creator Martin Gero
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lady bea @captaingrammar.bsky.social · 31/10/2025
Candles? Lit. Pumpkin? Carved? Veil between realms? Thinner than my patience. A blessed All Hallow's Eve to you all.
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lady bea @captaingrammar.bsky.social · 31/10/2025
What in the name of Five Nights at Freddies is going on at my nearby garden centre's Christmas display, and why is Taylor Swift being implicated?!
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lady bea @captaingrammar.bsky.social · 09/10/2025
Oh hell yes...
Screenshot of a randomised horror movie character trope gif; my selection landed on "The Final Girl"
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lady bea @captaingrammar.bsky.social · 06/10/2025
...It might be time for website developers to update their lingo...
Error message upon updating my work's website that says: "Validation failed. ACF was unable to perform validation because the provided nonce failed verification." Why are we using the word 'nonce' in 2025? Joe Blogg on the street has a VERY different connotation with that word...
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lady bea @captaingrammar.bsky.social · 01/10/2025
It's the land of pasties, cream teas, cheese and cider - of course the South West is 'Southern Good'!
A meme from @memesofbritish: text reads "People keeping getting the North/South divide wrong, and it's time to set the record straight" with a take on the DnD moral alignment chart laud over a map of England and Wales. Top row: over the north of Wales and Liverpool, Northern Good. Over Sheffield and Leeds, Northern Neutral. Over the North East coast, Northern Evil. Middle row: over Wales, Midlands Good. Over Birmingham, True Midlands. Over Norfolk, Midlands Evil. Bottom row: over Somerset and Devon, Southern Good. Over Bournemouth and the Isle of Wight, Southern Neutral. Over London and Brighton, Southern Evil.
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lady bea @captaingrammar.bsky.social · 20/09/2025
Although whoever is copywriting for the Argos website's done a fab job here. I'd get to "it's got 4 sockets, innit?" before contemplating my career choices.
A screenshot of the product description for a 4-socket extention cord. It reads: "This Masterplug 13A 4-socket extension lead is a cost-effective solution for everyday home power needs. Designed for simplicity and value, it's perfect for home offices, bedrooms, or living spaces. With an 1m cable, it offers extended reach, allowing flexible placement along walls or behind furniture, with wall-mounting options for added convenience. Safety shuttered sockets ensure added protection, while the sleek, compact white design blends with any decor. Certified to BS1363-2 safety standards and includes a 1-year manufacturer's warranty."
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lady bea @captaingrammar.bsky.social · 12/09/2025
I cannot justify spending £40 on a pair of boots in this economy but BOY do I wish I could...
An image of a pair of knee-high, military-style lace up boots, with a chunky heel. They'd make me look like a fucking bad-ass, and up my height to about 5'3".
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lady bea @captaingrammar.bsky.social · 08/09/2025
...At least the sun's out?
Screenshot of the weather widget on my desktop telling me that on this, the 8th day of September in 2025, the temperature is MINUS 273 degrees Celsius. Because suddenly we've moved to Uranus.
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lady bea @captaingrammar.bsky.social · 04/09/2025
I'm going to need this in a 'small', pleaseandthankyou.
A black t-shirt with the phrase 'Maybe she's born with it, maybe it's Sertraline' emblazoned on the front. It's reminiscent of the Maybelline advertising campaign, and a what better way to advertise that your girl is medicated than having the fact emblazoned across your tits?
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lady bea @captaingrammar.bsky.social · 01/09/2025
Nice.
DHL delivery tracker telling me I'm stop 69!
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lady bea @captaingrammar.bsky.social · 27/08/2025
Why yes, Oh Mighty Algorithm, this mug *does* appeal to my interests. However, after clicking the link to discover it is 24 WHOLE BRITISH POUNDS, I think the fuck not.
A truly lovely matt black Le Creuset mug, with gloss black bats adorning the side. A shame it's so wildly expensive.
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lady bea @captaingrammar.bsky.social · 25/08/2025
A still from The Simpsons showing a newspaper clipping of Grandpa with the headline "Old Man Yells at Cloud". A befitting meme in response to a dude who I can only hope is trolling us all.
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lady bea @captaingrammar.bsky.social · 19/08/2025
There are many reasons why Baldur's Gate 3 is my new favourite game, not least of which is that the dev/writing team clearly had a fucking blast creating it. #bg3 #ArseOverTeakettle
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lady bea @captaingrammar.bsky.social · 18/08/2025
Wild that, depending on what time of the month it is, that I can have an entirely different bra size.
Video still from Sailor J's ICONIC Contouring 101 video on YouTube with the caption "if the men find out we can shape-shift they're going to tell the church".
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lady bea @captaingrammar.bsky.social · 16/08/2025
You say "Halloween decorations", I say "home decor".
Two mirror-tiled ghost ornaments (one pink, one silver), proving that disco lives foreverA realistic skull-shaped ornament, flocked in black to give it a velvet finish. Just because it's a symbol for death doesn't mean it can't be fabulous.
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lady bea @captaingrammar.bsky.social · 06/08/2025
Hi, Alex Martin - kindly locate the nearest bin and toss yourself into it. Regards, I Still Give a Shit About the Integrity of the Creative Industries. #FuckAI
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lady bea @captaingrammar.bsky.social · 21/07/2025
Totally legit. Nothing funky here at ALL.
Screenshot of an email I received, supposedly from BT Sales, but the email address is dodgier than my stomach after eating gluten.
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lady bea @captaingrammar.bsky.social · 15/07/2025
If they don't call the main road "Bell End", then what's the fucking point?
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lady bea @captaingrammar.bsky.social · 13/07/2025
Are these technically men's shirts? Yes. Do I want them? Also yes.
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lady bea @captaingrammar.bsky.social · 06/07/2025
Just three besties judging a Mind-flayer together. No big deal. #bg3 #baldursgate3
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lady bea @captaingrammar.bsky.social · 06/07/2025
Anyway, it's 4am and I can't sleep because Shark Week *sucks*, so meet Adeleyne, my half high-elf sorcerer. #bg3 #baldursgate3
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lady bea @captaingrammar.bsky.social · 04/07/2025
Sign You're In Your 30s, no.1846: This genuine WhatsApp exchange between my sister and I.
A discussion between my sister and I about a place called The Tea and Biscuit Club in Sussex, the existence of Rhubarb Pie flavoured Rooibos, and their fabulous multi-coloured teapots. Never let it be said that we don't know how to live.
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lady bea @captaingrammar.bsky.social · 20/06/2025
Today in "Headlines That Confirm What We All Suspected": time.com/7295195/ai-c...
A headline from Time Online that says "ChatGPT May Be Eroding Critical Thinking Skills, According to a New MIT Study". No news on whether those resorting to AI to write their essays had any critical thinking skills to begin with, however.
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lady bea @captaingrammar.bsky.social · 17/06/2025
I try to make a Thing of alt-text...
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lady bea @captaingrammar.bsky.social · 17/06/2025
Taking one for the team is giving the okay for a group photo to go up on my work's official social media where everyone else looks fabulous and I look like this:
A photo of me, holding a glass of what I promise is only green smoothie, smirking at the camera and looking utterly shit-wrecked.
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lady bea @captaingrammar.bsky.social · 07/06/2025
It's giving "mum was let loose on the internet, bought Christmas pyjamas for the family and misjudged the sizes".
A woman wearing an oversized red, spangly, long-sleeved top with similarly baggy matching trousers. It looks like Dorothy's red shoes became sentient and are seeking revenge on all of Oz.
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lady bea @captaingrammar.bsky.social · 07/05/2025
Today's nugget, courtesy of Tudor scandal:
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lady bea @captaingrammar.bsky.social · 04/05/2025
Today on "T-Shirts I Found Online and Must Acquire":
Picture of a t-shirt with a print featuring a stylised image of a Puritan with the text "member of the Roanoke Hide and Seek Club". Because I watched that episode of Buzzfeed Unsolved and have a weird sense of humour.
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lady bea @captaingrammar.bsky.social · 01/05/2025
Especially tempting when *this* is what surrounds your office...
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