Miles Grover
@butt-goblin.com
692 followers 849 following 914 posts
I have a big BUTT and I also lie I’m a goblin, which I won’t deny And I got green skin, and some truly awful taste, and my round thing in your face butt-goblin.com
I have a big BUTT and I also lie I’m a goblin, which I won’t deny And I got green skin, and some truly awful taste, and my round thing in your face butt-goblin.com
![Someone told Butt Goblin to check out YouTube Shorts, but he doesn't think they're his cup of tea [Butt Goblin looks in the mirror wearing a pair of red shorts with the YouTube logo on them]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:ymhmebvl7fpbxy2icek3gn6b/bafkreia274jw22v6r5coxheuvwfjirsgfmhaistsztt2b6yznrlsss6hti)
![[Woman]: I found my keys! [Butt Goblin]: Thank the lord! [Caption]: No one ever realizes Butt Goblin is talking about KALLIPYGORON, LORD OF BUTTS](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:ymhmebvl7fpbxy2icek3gn6b/bafkreihx7ejfzm5w46v7yobfguwpob4whuhqiklxfakftxv54wkloorgtq)
![[Bonus panel]: KALLIPYGORON KNOWS WHERE YOUR KEYS ARE](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:ymhmebvl7fpbxy2icek3gn6b/bafkreibrtg7apqmpewn2srqafzd6e2dclldtee7rhjdf5nrnfexlcifbue)
![Petting Madam Spaghetti always leaves a perfect crime scene behind [Butt Goblin's hand has cat hair stuck to it. On the floor is the outline of a cat made of cat hair]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:ymhmebvl7fpbxy2icek3gn6b/bafkreieaghbpquu53nelycdqudnpsqgpxz5jp5wsomv4gpn3ioz6oxmpze)
![The president was calling. One more mission. Butt Goblin took a long, slow drag. Every time I think I'm out, they pull me back in. [Butt Goblin, wearing a fedora, and his environment are in black and white except for the hotdog that he's taking a drag on, which is hotdog colored. Behind him, a phone rings, and next to it sits a snub-nosed revolver.]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:ymhmebvl7fpbxy2icek3gn6b/bafkreie37cjtvdf76qtoqhfigbgm45ehgssyzi4x5xreauigvwempomclq)
![Butt Goblin spent a lot of time in study hall working on his signature [we see many different attempts and styles of Butt Goblin's signature, as well as The Cool S, Butt Goblin riding a dinosaur, Butt Goblin rocking out on a flying V guitar, and other youthful scribbles]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:ymhmebvl7fpbxy2icek3gn6b/bafkreigythrwj5huhfe45miwervrolc627awzy7ilt2hfmdvvett2dh4qi)
![A boy has his tongue sticking out and is recoiling from Butt Goblin, who is holding out what looks like a cup of bubble tea. Boy: I THOUGHT YOU SAID BUBBLE TEA [Caption]: In fact, Butt Goblin had offered a sip of his "bug ball tea"](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:ymhmebvl7fpbxy2icek3gn6b/bafkreiat5le6jqx7fgdu6nx247esuf7wg3makvrjlu3ujyysfk5clypekq)
![Butt Goblin stands next to a witch. He's holding a big novelty check that says WINNER! at the top, while confetti rains down. The check says PAYABLE TO: The little @$#**!! who coated my broomstick in bacon grease / FOR THE AMOUNT OF: MAY WARM BREAD SMELL OF BURNT HAIR UNTO THE TENTH GENERATION / FOR: Curse / [signed]: Grizelka. Caption: Congratulations, Butt Goblin! You're the 500th curse recipient!](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:ymhmebvl7fpbxy2icek3gn6b/bafkreicqcobnllscjebnacxqspr7yk62jjqozzjw5hedolfgmeaklzzkfu)
![Butt Goblin's position in the debate of how to pronounce "gif" is whatever is most annoying to everyone around [Butt Goblin, to a little girl]: Hello little jirl - I would like to jive you a jift - it is a toy guraffe](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:ymhmebvl7fpbxy2icek3gn6b/bafkreih5t35sfbyl24iq4dxca6yjfm24kil4ebxrmfts4cl6v5lf72ji3i)
![Butt Goblin looks so peaceful. What could he be dreaming of? [He's dreaming of a swirling rainbow dimension with 5 clowns posed like the Spice Girls, singing IF YOU CLOWNABE MY CLOWNER YOU GOTTA CLOWN WITH MY CLOWNS]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:ymhmebvl7fpbxy2icek3gn6b/bafkreiacsrgczsebrn6ozelou5qfzxfjnadtcl4v5pfhywj67vrnakapa4)
![The many moods of Butt Goblin: - Depressed [butt hanging down] - Jubilant [butt perked up] - Ambivalent [one cheek up, one down] - Frustrated [butt clenched and scrunched like a fist] - Stepped in gum [butt recoiling away] - Dreamt he was an actuary [butt all woogly] - Playing video games [butt is squared off] - Just realized that's free gum [butt pointy like a couple of torpedoes] - Thinking about those beans [butt cheeks shaped like beans]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:ymhmebvl7fpbxy2icek3gn6b/bafkreigwtcqor2cycf6g7muwe5prlipbssn2hnpkmw4sylxxpuwvxwoh6a)
![Butt Goblin defeated many guards, traps, and even an evil horse with too many legs to make his way to the dungeon and rescue his friends [Butt Goblin and the boy look at the sewer skeleton, still chained up, who says: Thanks, but I think I'm gonna chill here for a while. This is actually a pretty swanky joint for skeletons]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:ymhmebvl7fpbxy2icek3gn6b/bafkreifae5wk2vdzwupcsbtfociulck6oyupavwgm7ov72pvjxme54bvvy)
![[The extremely bad vibes guy from a few comics ago]: Yes, it is I, Koshchei the Deathless, who has kidnapped your friends! But you cannot kill me! My death is hidden in a needle, inside an egg, inside a duck, inside a hare, inside a locked chest, buried under the great oak tree on the secret mystical island of Buyan! [Caption]: "Wow, twinsies!" said Butt Goblin. "Back in '87, I hid my ability to consider consequences in a circus peanut inside of a koosh ball wrapped in a CVS receipt stuffed inside a crusty old ham that I absolutely mummified in duct tape and then tossed under a bridge in rural Saskatchewan"](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:ymhmebvl7fpbxy2icek3gn6b/bafkreicnm4iqmii45s7ikhuvzkoxijupkailutmlajdwy7te4jmqzekgwa)
![Butt Goblin is prepared for many contingencies [Butt Goblin is about to answer a ringing rotary phone which is labeled "kidnapped friends emergency line". Elsewhere in the room are other similar phones labeled "acquaintance victim of identity theft emergency line", "family member lost keys emergency line", "mailman's nephew hurt his leg emergency line", and "butt is on fire emergency line".]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:ymhmebvl7fpbxy2icek3gn6b/bafkreifxnxcnzgltyb26hhvg2njeqvff7beoi2izlb76l4nxgzbjzjjjoy)
![[Panel 1] Boy, chained up in a dungeon: Wow, waking up in a dungeon. This is like a total adventure story! [Panel 2] Boy: And you know it's a nasty dungeon if there's a skeleton chained up too! [Panel 3] Skeleton's eyes glow red and its head raises. [Panel 4]: Skeleton: Right? Everyone knows skeletons are model citizens, so only the worst bad guys would ever put us in a dungeon](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:ymhmebvl7fpbxy2icek3gn6b/bafkreibs5feknvpswgpmtxexqzg75ndyam5v5fqabzy6gj77gsy6wjaige)
![A creepy dude with unkempt hair and beard, weird long shoes, gross teeth, long yellow fingernails, and a robe that might be made out of burlap is pinching Butt Goblin's butt. [Creepy dude]: wEll heLLo tHEre sWeEt CHeeKs [Caption]: The utterly rancid vibes alone were enough for Butt Goblin to immediately declare this dude his new arch-nemesis](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:ymhmebvl7fpbxy2icek3gn6b/bafkreih5c6glnv2ycgblwcyimts7qdyk72inznuw2ke4n5s7pf672yej4u)
![Do people often tell you that you smell good, your odor is inoffensive, or worst of all, that you have no noticeable aroma whatsoever? Butt Goblin can help. [We see 3 sticks of deodorant, except they say "Reodorant by Butt Goblin". The scents are: Microwaved Fish, Roadkill & Onion, and Welcome to the Skunk Pit.]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:ymhmebvl7fpbxy2icek3gn6b/bafkreifzqux3tpiaqtrupdjji3zepsmengnv2ls4ohbv7qfhkb6bcxjc7u)
![Butt Goblin is dressed like the main character of PizzaCake Comics. A man wearing a red hat that says "I'm dumb" and a red shirt that says "terrible opinions haver" is screaming angrily with spittle coming out of his mouth. [Terrible opinions haver]: It's possible for butts to be too big [Butt Goblin, making the Bugs Bunny face from the meme and pointing a shotgun at the man]: No. Caption: Making political comics is a piece o' cake](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:ymhmebvl7fpbxy2icek3gn6b/bafkreif67ksvexnctf5q64dlje3pqvxuw2uqtnfhn56gmozjsk2fgy75lu)
![Even after many years of working with all manner of slimy creatures, from slugs to eels to even slime molds, Dr. Snodgrass was not prepared for Butt Goblin's ooze factor [The scientist recoils from his microscope, which has apparently blasted slime out of the eye piece onto his glasses. A sample of Butt Goblin on the microscope's stage oozes slime all over the place. Butt Goblin, apparently bored, does a handstand in the background.]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:ymhmebvl7fpbxy2icek3gn6b/bafkreidrkzrbspe5uiq2hhih7k2j23imp5v2bycvgz2syhrqsu5yg5pxny)
![Now understanding that the biologist was asking for a sample of Butt Goblin's own DNA, he smiled knowingly. "Ah, you want the premium stuff." [Dr. Snodgrass looks on as Butt Goblin is winking and holding a bottle of "Chateau Vert Eau De Gobelin", which has a $5 sticker on it]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:ymhmebvl7fpbxy2icek3gn6b/bafkreichbd4uwxllfieqnko7ft2kefogwp4mqvwqclm72ltwpq664x4auq)
![Dr. Snodgrass explained his efforts to catalog the many strange and beautiful species of the world, and waxed philosophical about the worthiness of science as an endeavor. Butt Goblin listened intently and didn't steal anything. [Butt Goblin is wearing the scientist's glasses and lab coat and is snatching his wallet as well.]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:ymhmebvl7fpbxy2icek3gn6b/bafkreigiotuu4iqgw5qhk5bjoi7zuivhl6neoo27can7m5z4wcdajn5zr4)
![When the world-renowned biologist, Dr. Archibald Snodgrass, asked him for a DNA sample, Butt Goblin had several flavors for sale [Butt Goblin wears a trench coat and is holding it open to reveal several vials of green fluid inside it]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:ymhmebvl7fpbxy2icek3gn6b/bafkreiee3dcd2nfjydr6cnjpp42e54hecribrjtmphd6rbt2gdlliyyvi4)
