Richard Jones @burningbeard85.bsky.social · 12/10/2026Hi! I’m First Sea Lord Dudley Pound. Welcome to 160
Richard Jones @burningbeard85.bsky.social · 11/10/2026I’m going to start all my work emails with “Kind Regards” so people instinctively delete them and I don’t get followup questions. 000
Richard Jones @burningbeard85.bsky.social · 10/10/2026I bet its footprints are in cursive after it goes through a puddle. 1101
Richard Jones @burningbeard85.bsky.social · 08/10/2026It’s just a coincidence that the nonprofit is named after him. The website mentions his “bravery and grace” but that could be due to how good he is at maneuvering through a Costco Gas. 130
Richard Jones @burningbeard85.bsky.social · 05/10/2026It’s great when they start mouthing at you like that. “Oooh I’m gonna bite ya! Look at these sharp teethers! Any second now! Next stop bite-town!” 010
Richard Jones @burningbeard85.bsky.social · 01/10/2026Possibly unrelated, but the Deer Park delivery driver keeps muttering how he’s always ready to go “Akimbo-mode.” The folks in the Pearson testing center downstairs are a rough bunch, so it might just be that. 010
Richard Jones @burningbeard85.bsky.social · 30/09/2026When a University Bee Lab has some product out on the streets? Oh, hell yeah. 020
Richard Jones @burningbeard85.bsky.social · 30/09/2026I remember being so scared of that damn dagger as a kid. My cousins went and bought a replica of it. 050
Richard Jones @burningbeard85.bsky.social · 30/09/2026Naval squadrons organized by cereal type. Vice-admiral of the Golden Grahams. 000
Richard Jones @burningbeard85.bsky.social · 29/09/2026You can gauge the state of healthcare by how many “We buy diabetic test strips” are on a single pole. 001
Richard Jones @burningbeard85.bsky.social · 28/09/2026If you ask them, I bet they’ll throw in a Carolina Squat at a discount. 000
Richard Jones @burningbeard85.bsky.social · 24/09/2026Ron Perlman singing sweetly while they light the fire is etched in my brain. 020
Richard Jones @burningbeard85.bsky.social · 23/09/2026I say “That’s rough” and then you say “What are ya gonna do?” and it’s the same level of satisfaction in the end. 130
Richard Jones @burningbeard85.bsky.social · 22/09/2026m.youtube.com/watch?v=6w2U...m.youtube.comFritz Learns to Catch Compilation #1YouTube video by Fritz Dog 010
Richard Jones @burningbeard85.bsky.social · 22/09/2026Throw in a few references to Encarta ‘95 and Myst 070
Richard Jones @burningbeard85.bsky.social · 16/09/2026(Siloed off my social media to the point that I only get Yerba Mate and tereré-related news) Is it the new Strawberry Kiwi flavor Yerba Madre put out? I also have some thoughts. 030
Richard Jones @burningbeard85.bsky.social · 08/09/2026I like the Surgeons General feel of that. “Five of the previous Michaels McDonald sign a letter encouraging Americans to take it to the streets.” 140
Richard Jones @burningbeard85.bsky.social · 02/09/2026Captain, engineer reports 105% on the Gatorade Frost possible…but not recommended 000
Richard Jones @burningbeard85.bsky.social · 26/08/2026It was my second job (Dollar Tree was the first). I have never smelt worse after a shift in my life, and I once had a job making compost tea with fish emulsion and molasses. 010
Richard Jones @burningbeard85.bsky.social · 26/08/2026Harry Crane runs from the room weeping when you mention the discontinued Veggie Max. 100
Richard Jones @burningbeard85.bsky.social · 21/08/2026Is this the economy? I was hoping it was more steel-girder and wheat based 040
Richard Jones @burningbeard85.bsky.social · 21/08/2026Maybe keep it light. Something related to traffic or urban planning maybe? Or just movies? 020
Richard Jones @burningbeard85.bsky.social · 18/08/2026It’s pretty good. If you add a shot of sambuca it becomes a “Careless Whisper”. Though the creeper vines start grasping at your ankles and wrists all the time. 020
Richard Jones @burningbeard85.bsky.social · 15/08/2026Numeroff screams obscenities at Charlie Kaufman for suggesting that animals don’t need clothing in the illustrations. 010
Richard Jones @burningbeard85.bsky.social · 05/08/2026I am unable to say “rotini” without sounding it like a jawa. My children dread pasta night. 0100
Richard Jones @burningbeard85.bsky.social · 04/08/2026A Shogun Named Marcus m.youtube.com/watch?v=HADp...m.youtube.comClutch - A Shogun Named Marcus (Official Video)YouTube video by OfficialClutch 010
Richard Jones @burningbeard85.bsky.social · 04/08/2026I was in the same dark place until I signed up for a no-risk session with Ganbaatar, the Matrimonial Mongolian. Now all I drink is fermented mares milk that has shaken up in the saddle all day as I move along the steppes of central Maryland. 040
Richard Jones @burningbeard85.bsky.social · 03/08/2026That’s exactly how I feel about Capt Midnight. m.youtube.com/watch?v=janP...m.youtube.comCapt MidnightYouTube video by Tomahawk - Topic 010
Richard Jones @burningbeard85.bsky.social · 02/08/2026It is a reminder of the family’s sometimes dark past. Patriarch Buster Heeler’s initial penal transportation to Australia was explained away as simple eccentricity at the time. In fact, he was hopelessly addicted to eating cat feces. 011
Richard Jones @burningbeard85.bsky.social · 28/07/2026Hell yeah man, place of honor on the bookshelf. 070
Richard Jones @burningbeard85.bsky.social · 28/07/2026Francis Bacon (Tom Hardy) proposing reforms to English Law with a CRUSHING bass soundtrack 021
Richard Jones @burningbeard85.bsky.social · 27/07/2026Christopher Nolan should never stop. Divine Comedy is next. Audiences want Thomas Aquinas in a badass mask/helmet combo 140
Richard Jones @burningbeard85.bsky.social · 27/07/2026Smitty is more of a pinpoint strike kinda broheim, while Tucker prefers the ponderous, yet inescapable, marching barrage. Kyle passed out at the targeting oculus, so we drew dicks all over him. 000
Richard Jones @burningbeard85.bsky.social · 27/07/2026The third one didn’t say particularly unhinged things. He would do really accurate/hurtful impressions of me. “My name’s daddy, I like trees and trucks, bahbahbah” 000
Richard Jones @burningbeard85.bsky.social · 27/07/2026Another one liked to urgently whisper in my wife’s ear when she was asleep that “there’s someone in the room.” He later clarified that he meant one of his brothers. 100
Richard Jones @burningbeard85.bsky.social · 27/07/2026He also drew a picture of us walking over our own gravestones and asked my wife for her phone’s passcode so he had it “for when she died.” 110
Richard Jones @burningbeard85.bsky.social · 27/07/2026One of mine once asked what would happen if I took my hands off the wheel when I was driving. I said that I shouldn’t because the car might crash. He smiled real wide and quietly said “Do it.” 100
Richard Jones @burningbeard85.bsky.social · 26/07/2026Do you riff on different styles of loading the dishwasher? I’d like to be prepared for the next time they ambush me just for drinking a fifth of Old Forester before dinner. 020
