iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Sadgirl McBoobs™ @brookass-tweets.bsky.social · 07/11/2022

ok wait so posts on mastodon are called TOOTS?! 🤣🤣🤣 that's what my family calls farts!! hard pass

Sadgirl McBoobs™ @brookass-tweets.bsky.social · 04/11/2022

and like not for nothing but I also hadn't eaten solid food in 24 hours and only slept 3 hours so I was not at my best by any means

000

Sadgirl McBoobs™ @brookass-tweets.bsky.social · 04/11/2022

like I get why they do it because they don't have all day for you to get it together but I was so fucking confused and out of it and he's like telling me complicated shit like I'm some kind of medical professional and meanwhile my brain is all <rebooting, please wait>

100

Sadgirl McBoobs™ @brookass-tweets.bsky.social · 04/11/2022

it should be illegal for a doctor to explain anything to you or make you agree/sign anything within 2 hours of waking up from anesthesia

100

Sadgirl McBoobs™ @brookass-tweets.bsky.social · 20/10/2022

you think you're really good at Swyping? try to Swype "simultaneously". go on, I dare you

000

Sadgirl McBoobs™ @brookass-tweets.bsky.social · 20/10/2022

my husband is alternating between intense snoring and deep sighs in his sleep and it's really starting to piss me off. I feel simultaneously judged and put upon

100

Sadgirl McBoobs™ @brookass-tweets.bsky.social · 19/10/2022

why is there no tick box in settings to hide all sports forever from my Twitter pls

000

Sadgirl McBoobs™ @brookass-tweets.bsky.social · 19/10/2022

why is there no way to see everything trending EXCEPT fucking sports? something like 9 out of 13 categories in trending are NBA or football. I DON'T CARE ABOUT SPORTS & I NEVER WILL!! SPORTS HAS ITS OWN FUCKING CATEGORY OF FILTER!! WHY DOES IT ALSO HAVE TO SHOW UNDER TRENDING?

100

Sadgirl McBoobs™ @brookass-tweets.bsky.social · 19/10/2022

t minus 5 hours until gutter guys arrive and I have to be functional

000

Sadgirl McBoobs™ @brookass-tweets.bsky.social · 19/10/2022

look, I've had horrible insomnia for 3 days straight, this was only a matter of time

100

Sadgirl McBoobs™ @brookass-tweets.bsky.social · 19/10/2022

ah, 3:28 am, perfect time for my nervous breakdown

100

Sadgirl McBoobs™ @brookass-tweets.bsky.social · 19/10/2022

we got 5 (again) now because Two-Face came back! unfortunately my dream is farther away than ever because everyone hates him now bc they don't recognize his scent after a month outside 😕🧐

000

Sadgirl McBoobs™ @brookass-tweets.bsky.social · 19/10/2022

ps somehow while glaring, I failed to actually look at any of their faces

000

Sadgirl McBoobs™ @brookass-tweets.bsky.social · 19/10/2022

now if it had been Fiona Apple, Winona Ryder, or @RichardEngel, I would have cared! of course I probably still wouldn't have noticed, bc my only interaction with the table next to us was to glare in their direction bc we had had the corner all to ourselves before they got there

100

Sadgirl McBoobs™ @brookass-tweets.bsky.social · 19/10/2022

my family & I were seated next to the Olsen twins at dinner tonight. my sister knew but she didn't say anything bc she didn't want *us* to embarrass *them*. then my stepmother saw Kelly Ripa in the stairwell. everybody was mad impressed except me. I couldn't care less!!! 🤣🤣🤣

100

Sadgirl McBoobs™ @brookass-tweets.bsky.social · 16/10/2022

the sheer amount of rage I feel when I should have been in bed 3 hours ago and my stupid body is complaining because I've been sitting in the same position playing Civ 6 since midnight cannot be underestimated

000

Sadgirl McBoobs™ @brookass-tweets.bsky.social · 14/10/2022

me: I just wish I could have all 4 cats on the bed with me at once, no fighting my husband: it's good to have aspirations

100

Sadgirl McBoobs™ @brookass-tweets.bsky.social · 09/10/2022

can't you just let us have this, man

000

Sadgirl McBoobs™ @brookass-tweets.bsky.social · 05/10/2022

back on my bullshit* *lying in bed farting endlessly

000

Sadgirl McBoobs™ @brookass-tweets.bsky.social · 30/09/2022

ps now updated with even MORE lyrics! haha!

000

Sadgirl McBoobs™ @brookass-tweets.bsky.social · 03/09/2022

every time I go to PetSmart I have to stop myself from buying a LAERGE fish tank bc I don't need that hassle... but 🐠🐟🐡🐠

000

Sadgirl McBoobs™ @brookass-tweets.bsky.social · 29/08/2022

me after finishing Space Force season 2 and learning Netflix declined to renew it #SpaceForce #SaveSpaceForce #wtf #hashtag

000

Sadgirl McBoobs™ @brookass-tweets.bsky.social · 16/08/2022

it's real foreign body sensation time; whomst up

000

Sadgirl McBoobs™ @brookass-tweets.bsky.social · 16/08/2022

nothing like going on Twitter and seeing my only notification is just some generic "recommended for you" bullshit. really makes me feel special!

000

Sadgirl McBoobs™ @brookass-tweets.bsky.social · 08/08/2022

my accidental aesthetic is haunted crackhead

010

Sadgirl McBoobs™ @brookass-tweets.bsky.social · 08/08/2022

and then you undermine that effort by taking pictures of yourself where you look like a disheveled crackhead on day 3 of a 5 day bender

100

Sadgirl McBoobs™ @brookass-tweets.bsky.social · 08/08/2022

there are times when, in a certain melancholy type of mood, you find yourself wanting someone to Think You Are Cute

110

Sadgirl McBoobs™ @brookass-tweets.bsky.social · 04/08/2022

got some new supplements that claim to help with eye dryness, but the instructions say take FOUR of these giant fucking capsules daily for 8 weeks before expecting to feel any improvement so RIP my eyeballs and/or vision

000

Sadgirl McBoobs™ @brookass-tweets.bsky.social · 26/07/2022

these are my version of late night crazy texts 🤣🤣🤣

000

Sadgirl McBoobs™ @brookass-tweets.bsky.social · 23/07/2022

I'm back on my bullshit* *Doan's back pills

000

Sadgirl McBoobs™ @brookass-tweets.bsky.social · 10/07/2022

I'm taking it out and giving it to the raccoons

100

Sadgirl McBoobs™ @brookass-tweets.bsky.social · 10/07/2022

the sideways crying laughing emoji is so much better than the straight up and down one 🤣🤣🤣 hey I don't make the rules

000

Sadgirl McBoobs™ @brookass-tweets.bsky.social · 10/07/2022

not my husband putting spaghetti in the compost bowl 🤣🤣🤣

100

Sadgirl McBoobs™ @brookass-tweets.bsky.social · 08/07/2022

so tired my eyes are crossing , yet still scrolling Twitter dot com what am I hoping to see?

000

Sadgirl McBoobs™ @brookass-tweets.bsky.social · 03/07/2022

lol just weed, not weird weed. what would that even be, like laced with meth? no thanks

000

Sadgirl McBoobs™ @brookass-tweets.bsky.social · 03/07/2022

smonked a little weird weed for the first time in forever and had one (1) drink, so of course I had a low blood sugar episode and almost threw up. just in case you were wondering if I'm still cool

100

Sadgirl McBoobs™ @brookass-tweets.bsky.social · 18/06/2022

was taking a wee depression nap and dreamt there was a car that was a Jeep/Nissan hybrid called a Jissan 🤣🤔🤣

000

Sadgirl McBoobs™ @brookass-tweets.bsky.social · 18/06/2022

also he was only in there about an hour so he didn't have time to poop everywhere

010

Sadgirl McBoobs™ @brookass-tweets.bsky.social · 18/06/2022

ok I freed him. at least this one was quite sweet and didn't bark at me or try to bite me like the last one

110

Sadgirl McBoobs™ @brookass-tweets.bsky.social · 18/06/2022

am strongly tempted to drive him to the nearest park (a few miles from my house) and release him there but I'm so tired and in my nightgown 😕🤔

110

Sadgirl McBoobs™ @brookass-tweets.bsky.social · 18/06/2022

son of a bitch. it's like a horror movie, his glowing eyes... I literally just got into bed. now I have to get up and free this asshole, otherwise 1) it's cruel to leave him in there all night and 2) I'll wake up to a shredded towel and cage full of poop

110

Sadgirl McBoobs™ @brookass-tweets.bsky.social · 18/06/2022

can't wait for my nightly haul of several vicious raccoons

110