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Brian Phillips

@brianphillips.lol
24K followers 621 following 3.2K posts

Senior Writer at The Ringer covering the intersection of tech, politics, and media 🦉 NYT bestselling author of Impossible Owls 🦉 also, how can I put this: sports bookshop.org/p/books/impossible-owl…

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Brian Phillips @brianphillips.lol · 2h
If Chuck Schumer could work black-market turtles into more of his pleas to save democracy he'd get my $1 so fast it would make his head spin
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Brian Phillips @brianphillips.lol · 2h
This is the least annoying text from a Democratic politician that I've received in at least eight years
A text reading:

Fitzpatrick is paying a turtle trafficker to lie about me. Seriously.
Read more: bh4pa.org/turtle?
t=ayP4wG
-Bob Harvie
Text STOP to quit
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Brian Phillips @brianphillips.lol · 11h
I wrote about iced coffee
theringer.com
How “Can You Bring Iced Coffee to a Job Interview?” Became Society’s Ultimate Litmus Test
America is divided. Generations are at war. Where do you stand on the most urgent debate of the past week?
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Brian Phillips @brianphillips.lol · 11h
I wrote about iced coffee
theringer.com
How “Can You Bring Iced Coffee to a Job Interview?” Became Society’s Ultimate Litmus Test
America is divided. Generations are at war. Where do you stand on the most urgent debate of the past week?
97715
Brian Phillips @brianphillips.lol · 28/09/2026
A DOINK IN DENVER
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Neil Serven @neilserven.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Otters with jobs
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Brian Phillips @brianphillips.lol · 24/09/2026
I wrote about British hats
theringer.com
Eight Burning Questions About the Fight to Ban British Guard Hats
An extremely important deep dive into one of the world’s most pressing problems: the big, fuzzy hats at Buckingham Palace
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Brian Phillips @brianphillips.lol · 24/09/2026
I wrote about British hats
theringer.com
Eight Burning Questions About the Fight to Ban British Guard Hats
An extremely important deep dive into one of the world’s most pressing problems: the big, fuzzy hats at Buckingham Palace
1010514
Brian Phillips @brianphillips.lol · 22/09/2026
Also few if any Picts in Tokyo Drift
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Brian Phillips @brianphillips.lol · 22/09/2026
The King and I in heavily accented Canadian French
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Brian Phillips @brianphillips.lol · 22/09/2026
I admire the vision but you gotta go harder than this. Schindler's List in Old English. Tron in Old English. The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift in the extinct Celtic language spoken by the Picts
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Chairman Goa Tse-tung @jctenton.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
i often think of the gas station in deus ex and the terrifying 2050s cyberpunk nightmare era prices on the sign
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Justin Hendrix @justinhendrix.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
Incredible reporting.
bloomberg.com
Inside the US ‘Kill Chain’ That Destroyed an Iranian School
Pentagon investigators have discovered that flawed intelligence, outdated imagery and an overreliance on AI contributed to a missile strike that killed 123 children in Minab.
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Brian Phillips @brianphillips.lol · 17/09/2026
I didn't trust AI to tell me whether AI will kill us all in the next decade. So I turned to the one branch of science more reliable than LLMs: Bracketology
theringer.com
The AI Apocalypse Bracket: Just How Doomed Are We, Really?
Is AI really likely to wipe out humanity within the next decade? We used the most scientific tool in existence to get an answer.
820047
Brian Phillips @brianphillips.lol · 18/09/2026
Horrific possibility but not an extinction threat on its own. Bubble team. Could do real damage in the NIT
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Brian Phillips @brianphillips.lol · 18/09/2026
Ess Dub knows ball
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Dan Ancona @danancona.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Never smashed a follow button this quickly. Effing brilliant and hilarious.
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Bryan Toporek @btoporek.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Come for the concept, stay for the repeated strays that Pat McAfee's music career catches
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Brendan Bell @bdbell.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
A bit of a longer read, but absolutely well worth it. The conceit is fun and engaging (if even a little goofy!), but the information presented is impeccably sourced, well-reasoned, and compelling. Undoubtedly the best article I've read on the topic.
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Scott Tobias @scotttobias.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
This is a legitimately astounding piece of work.
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Brian Phillips @brianphillips.lol · 17/09/2026
Oh, I'm getting fired, that's a given
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Brian Phillips @brianphillips.lol · 17/09/2026
Fill out your bracket now.....before it's too late
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Brian Phillips @brianphillips.lol · 17/09/2026
I didn't trust AI to tell me whether AI will kill us all in the next decade. So I turned to the one branch of science more reliable than LLMs: Bracketology
theringer.com
The AI Apocalypse Bracket: Just How Doomed Are We, Really?
Is AI really likely to wipe out humanity within the next decade? We used the most scientific tool in existence to get an answer.
820047
Brian Phillips @brianphillips.lol · 17/09/2026
Karen please don't give them any ideas about putting me on the poop beat
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Gillian Branstetter @gbbranstetter.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
I'm admittedly not an early child development expert but it does seem the ideal scenario for any baby is being collectively raised by a traveling women's professional soccer team
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Emily M. Bender @emilymbender.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
Straight talk time: Doomerism is BORING. It's the same fantasties rehashed over and over again, just louder each time. And with each iteration it seems that new audiences are being reached, and a new group of people needs to be talked down from unnecessary fear. >>
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Brian Phillips @brianphillips.lol · 12/09/2026
Look, I love Sports Emotion as much as the next fan, but I have to admit there's something incredibly badass about Rybakina winning the U.S. Open and topping out at "pleased"
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Brian Phillips @brianphillips.lol · 12/09/2026
I'd tell you to mute him, but you might miss penetrating insights like "both players need to win this second set, but there's more pressure on Sabalenka, after losing that first set"
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Brian Phillips @brianphillips.lol · 12/09/2026
I could be listening to Mary Carillo talking about the time Patrick Rafter introduced her to a wombat in 1994 and instead I've got Patrick McEnroe slowly repeating "this feels like a must-win game" for the 67th time in this match
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Brian Phillips @brianphillips.lol · 12/09/2026
I know it's boring to complain about sports commentators but giving a major final to Patrick and Mary Joe is like staging a Rembrandt exhibition under a 40-watt light bulb
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Brian Phillips @brianphillips.lol · 12/09/2026
Sabalenka's body language getting perilously close to the deadly Me When I've Been on Hold with Customer Service for More Than Six Minutes Zone
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Brian Phillips @brianphillips.lol · 12/09/2026
158 MPH SERVE???????????!?
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Brian Phillips @brianphillips.lol · 11/09/2026
when I catch myself drafting a Bluesky response to someone in my mentions with 2.3k followers and 57.8k posts
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Howard Beck @howardbeck.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
NBA owners are, uh, having a moment. I'm not sure that's a good thing. Latest from me, at The Ringer:
theringer.com
Does the NBA Have an Owner Problem?
NBA owners are having a moment, but not necessarily a good one. “Every day or every week, it’s like: Wait a second, how can that be possible?”
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Brian Phillips @brianphillips.lol · 09/09/2026
I'm a joy to text with during sports
A text reading "GODDAMN EMMA" followed by a text reading "—Miss Bates after the picnic on Box Hill"
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Brian Phillips @brianphillips.lol · 09/09/2026
I assume this benefits billionaires somehow 🤔
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Brian Phillips @brianphillips.lol · 09/09/2026
Probably because BILLIONAIRES BOUGHT THE MATH
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Brian Phillips @brianphillips.lol · 09/09/2026
They literally just showed Navarro's parents in the stands and still didn't mention that they're among the richest people on earth??
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ryanphurley.bsky.social @ryanphurley.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
At least soft pedal it... "US Open brought to you by Fidelity... and Navarro certainly is familiar with the asset management business" "Pegula playing the biggest sporting match in NY state... until the Bills play week 12 Monday night right here on ESPN"
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Brian Phillips @brianphillips.lol · 09/09/2026
I suspect this is basically the answer, though the taboo is so comprehensive that I also suspect it's been handed down from an oligarch-pleasing boss somewhere above the individual producers and commentators
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Brian Phillips @brianphillips.lol · 09/09/2026
It seems like a...pretty important piece of context for understanding the players?
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Brian Phillips @brianphillips.lol · 09/09/2026
Does anyone with more sophisticated media knowledge than mine understand why ESPN will burn endless cycles talking about tennis players' backgrounds/childhoods but will not ever, ever state that Pegula and Navarro are the children of billionaires, even when they're playing each other?
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BUM CHILLUPS AKA SPENCER HALL AKA PRESIDENT FOOTBALL @edsbs.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
That worked
Tellling a bot to fuck off
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Brian Phillips @brianphillips.lol · 06/09/2026
I think mostly I was just typing really fast 🙃
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Brian Phillips @brianphillips.lol · 05/09/2026
"So what else is going on?"
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Brian Phillips @brianphillips.lol · 05/09/2026
I just said "How's it going" to three people at a memorial service. You can't buy social graces like these. If you're lucky, you simply acquire them at birth
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Brian Phillips @brianphillips.lol · 03/09/2026
I have plunged into the dark, icy depths of Lake America and returned with a column about MAGA's obsession with names
theringer.com
MAGA’s Big, Beautiful Quest to Rename the Entire World
The Lake America story is spectacularly dumb. It’s also spectacularly important.
910526
Brian Phillips @brianphillips.lol · 03/09/2026
I wrote about names
theringer.com
MAGA’s Big, Beautiful Quest to Rename the Entire World
The Lake America story is spectacularly dumb. It’s also spectacularly important.
3403
Brian Phillips @brianphillips.lol · 03/09/2026
This one went some places
DONALD J. TRUMP: The Canadians are very nasty people. They've treated me very badly. When I visited Montreal, they let me eat a Horse, but it wasn't Secretariat.
HEAD OF SPACE FORCE: Did you ... want to eat
Secretariat, sir?
DONALD J. TRUMP: He was the best Horse. Even the failing New York Times, a Corrupt Media Outlet polluting the shelves of our beautiful Newsstands, an excellent form of Furniture, by the way, which I love to Peruse at our many immaculate Kiosks and Airport Racks, that I know are there even though I never walk through a Concourse, because Presidents, outstandingly, are bequeathed with different, and better, Flying Protocols, never using Commercial, for Security, and Other Reasons, polluting our Newsstands, as I say, with LIES and FAKE NEWS about the Election, which I won, easily, acknowledges this.
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Brian Phillips @brianphillips.lol · 03/09/2026
I have plunged into the dark, icy depths of Lake America and returned with a column about MAGA's obsession with names
theringer.com
MAGA’s Big, Beautiful Quest to Rename the Entire World
The Lake America story is spectacularly dumb. It’s also spectacularly important.
910526