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Bonnie the Derpatron

@bonniethederpatron.bsky.social
355 followers 714 following 1.8K posts

Derpy with a side of weird. Complicated and Passionate. Occasional streamer, still working full time currently. Chronic pain warrior. 🏳️‍🌈 Pansexual/ she/her 🏳️‍🌈 linktr.ee/bonniethederpatron

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Reposted by Bonnie the Derpatron
Chronic Illness Humor @chronicillness.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
meme with text at the top and a scene from the animated show Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends below.

Top text reads: "When you rarely wear makeup.... and suddenly there's an event where you need to wear some and you just end up like:"

The image below shows the tall, thin imaginary friend character Duchess wearing exaggerated pink lipstick, prominent eyelashes, and a bow on her head while holding a lipstick tube.

Bottom subtitle text reads: "I'm a lady."
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Bonnie the Derpatron @bonniethederpatron.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Chanting "long live hamas" is the fucking opposite of of what you should do to show support for Palestine. That is disgusting and should be condemned by all. You're no better than the zionists and their extremism saying that shit.
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Bonnie the Derpatron @bonniethederpatron.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
Sometimes I really wish I could kill whatever neurodivergent part of me it is that finds tv noises to be like nails on a chalkboard when im trying to sleep. It makes me irrationally angry and irritated and I just wish I could be normal.
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Bonnie the Derpatron @bonniethederpatron.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
There's a special kind of extremely frustrating helplessness only disabled people will understand, when you can see what needs to be done, you want to get it done, and yet you physically cannot. 😭
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Bonnie the Derpatron @bonniethederpatron.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
Literally me.
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Bonnie the Derpatron @bonniethederpatron.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
The petulant toddler in a disgusting old white man's body in the white house somehow continues to escape the reaper. 😤
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Bonnie the Derpatron @bonniethederpatron.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
😭 Fuck 2026. That was not the obituary we needed.
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Bonnie the Derpatron @bonniethederpatron.bsky.social · 14/08/2026
Not having access to your phone 40 hours a week is kind of a drag when you want to get your small business started up again. 🙄 I need insurance and a paycheck more though unfortunately.
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Bonnie the Derpatron @bonniethederpatron.bsky.social · 18/07/2026
Everytime my daily pain gets worse I think this is it surely.... surely it can't get any worse. And then it does.
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Reposted by Bonnie the Derpatron
Chronic Illness Humor @chronicillness.bsky.social · 15/07/2026
meme with text at the top that reads: "WHEN YOUR JOINTS ARE ON FIRE, YOU HAVEN’T SLEPT IN 3 DAYS, AND THE DOCTOR SAYS YOUR LABS ARE NORMAL."

Below the text, Lisa Simpson is shown sitting on the floor of her bedroom, clutching her knees close to her chest. She has a wide, manic, and severely sleep-deprived expression with bloodshot, wide-open eyes.
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Bonnie the Derpatron @bonniethederpatron.bsky.social · 15/07/2026
Hardest thing to explain to normal people.
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Reposted by Bonnie the Derpatron
Chronic Illness Humor @chronicillness.bsky.social · 11/07/2026
[faint door in dark background]


3am

ghost:
moans in anguish

me: same
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Reposted by Bonnie the Derpatron
Chronic Illness Humor @chronicillness.bsky.social · 11/07/2026
#satire @thehardtimes.bsky.social
A screenshot of a satirical news article from The Hard Times. The large, bold headline reads, "Man Without Dental Insurance Running Out of Good Sides of Mouth to Chew With." Below the headline on the left, it attributes the article to Patrick Coyne on June 28, 2019. On the right is the logo for "The Hard Times," featuring a stylized green combat boot with a face and sharp teeth.

Below the text is a photograph of a bearded man wearing glasses and a red-and-white checkered flannel shirt over a white t-shirt. He is standing outdoors in front of a backdrop of green park trees and is looking down intently at a half-eaten sandwich or burger held in both of his hands
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Reposted by Bonnie the Derpatron
Chronic Illness Humor @chronicillness.bsky.social · 11/07/2026
If others with the same disorder can do it,

[pic of a nervous guy with his head in his hands]

then good for them! But I'm not them.
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Reposted by Bonnie the Derpatron
Chronic Illness Humor @chronicillness.bsky.social · 11/07/2026
Nowadays seeing me in person is either by appointment or by mistake.
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Reposted by Bonnie the Derpatron
⛩️ 𝑫𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒉 𝒃𝒚 𝑯𝒊𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒉𝒊 ⛩️ @deathbyhibachi.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
Maybe We Should Just Accept It At This Point #Art by Tiny Piece of Mercury
Two skullies sit on the ground and have a smoke while the world falls apart around them
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Reposted by Bonnie the Derpatron
Chronic Illness Humor @chronicillness.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
Stay home and rest, but trigger depression (guy boxing)

vs

go out and trigger a health flare
(guy boxing)
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Bonnie the Derpatron @bonniethederpatron.bsky.social · 11/07/2026
When you zone out so hard that you miss multiple bus stops and have to take an Uber to work. 💀
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Reposted by Bonnie the Derpatron
Chronic Illness Humor @chronicillness.bsky.social · 09/07/2026
CHRONICALLY ILL PEOPLE TEND TO DOWNPLAY THEIR SYMPTOMS BECAUSE BEING HONEST ABOUT THEM TENDS TO WEIRD PEOPLE OUT.
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Reposted by Bonnie the Derpatron
Chronic Illness Humor @chronicillness.bsky.social · 09/07/2026
Top Text: "YOUR FUTURE IS BRIGHT." in large, white, italicized capital letters.

Image Description: A serene landscape showing a bright sun rising or setting over rolling hills and mountains, with its golden light reflecting perfectly across the calm surface of a wide river or lake.

Bottom Text: "Mostly because of fluorescent hospital lighting." in a stark black sans-serif font.

Watermark text: MyBodyIsTryingToKillMe.com
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Bonnie the Derpatron @bonniethederpatron.bsky.social · 09/07/2026
Free time? What’s that? 😅 Don't know her.
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Bonnie the Derpatron @bonniethederpatron.bsky.social · 05/07/2026
It's a Florence and the machine kind of morning.... or afternoon I guess? Getting moving is becoming increasingly difficult lately.
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Reposted by Bonnie the Derpatron
Chronic Illness Humor @chronicillness.bsky.social · 05/07/2026
image featuring a white rounded text box centered over an impressionistic painting of choppy dark blue water and light, hazy mountains in the background.

Inside the white box, the black text reads: "I didn't wake up feeling rested. That's like 30 years in a row now."

MyBodyIsTryingToKillMe.com
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Reposted by Bonnie the Derpatron
Chronic Illness Humor @chronicillness.bsky.social · 05/07/2026
@chronicillness.bsky.social - The human spirit was not designed for this many prescription meds.

MyBodyIsTryingToKillMe.com
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Bonnie the Derpatron @bonniethederpatron.bsky.social · 27/06/2026
My brain won't shut up about all the millions of little things I need to get done but I have to go work an 11 hour shift... *sigh* capitalism sucks.
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Reposted by Bonnie the Derpatron
Chronic Illness Humor @chronicillness.bsky.social · 26/06/2026
No, YOUR body is a temple. Mine is a Waffle House floor at 2am after a knife fight.

mybodyistryingtokillme.com
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Reposted by Bonnie the Derpatron
Chronic Illness Humor @chronicillness.bsky.social · 26/06/2026
@FrancisTheCrow - In other news, life continues to be a surreal hellscape. The thought of having to watch things get progressively worse for the rest of my life is exhausting.
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Reposted by Bonnie the Derpatron
Chronic Illness Humor @chronicillness.bsky.social · 23/06/2026
@spoonfulofhannah.bsky.social
@spoonfulofhan

Something that I wasn't prepared for when I became chronically ill:

You have to get to know yourself all over again because healthy you is not the same as sick you
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Reposted by Bonnie the Derpatron
Chronic Illness Humor @chronicillness.bsky.social · 24/06/2026
Comic by: JUST IS
four-panel webcomic titled "JUST IS" by the artist Just Is, presented in image_d57a74.jpg.

Panel 1

Description: A young woman with brown hair tied back, wearing a pink long-sleeved shirt and blue pants, stands outside a house next to a green bush and a closed door. She has a blank, wide-eyed expression and holds one arm across her stomach.

Speech Bubble: "THIS IS ALICE, SHE'S HAD A STOMACH ACHE FOR A MONTH"

Panel 2

Description: Alice stands inside a clinic looking at a male doctor. The doctor is a bald-headed man with glasses, wearing a white lab coat and a stethoscope, holding a clipboard. They both look at each other with neutral, wide-eyed expressions.

Speech Bubble: "SHE WENT TO THE DOCTOR YESTERDAY"

Panel 3

Description: The doctor holds up a hand as he speaks condescendingly to Alice. Alice looks back at him with an annoyed, furrowed brow, her arm resting at her side.

Speech Bubble: "AFTER RUNNING NO TESTS, HE TOLD HER TO TRY LOSING SOME WEIGHT"

Panel 4

Description: A night scene under a starry sky. The perspective is from behind Alice as she stands over a freshly dug dirt hole in a grassy field. She holds a shovel smeared with red blood. Inside the hole, a blood-stained white lab coat and a leg are visible, implying she murdered the doctor.

Speech Bubble: "SO NOW ALICE HAS A STOMACH ACHE AND HAS TO GET RID OF A BODY!"

Footer Text

Bottom Left: "Comic by: JUST IS"
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Bonnie the Derpatron @bonniethederpatron.bsky.social · 25/06/2026
Oh good... action number 192474839101 of thie administration that is illegal.
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Reposted by Bonnie the Derpatron
Crystal Resists @crystalresists.bsky.social · 25/06/2026
Timeline cleanser
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Reposted by Bonnie the Derpatron
Chronic Illness Humor @chronicillness.bsky.social · 25/06/2026
I just feel so let down by my own body recently. No matter what I do to give my body what it needs, I feel like nothing I do is enough. Chronic illness is having to battle daily with myself and that’s so draining physically and mentally.
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Bonnie the Derpatron @bonniethederpatron.bsky.social · 19/06/2026
Being in incredible amounts of pain 24/7 is exhausting on levels I can't describe.
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Reposted by Bonnie the Derpatron
Chronic Illness Humor @chronicillness.bsky.social · 19/06/2026
Euler diagram titled "COMMUNICATING" WITH MY DOCTORS from image_79dc96.png, illustrating the breakdown of communication through concentric/nested circles:

Largest circle (Light Purple): Labeled "WHAT I WANT TO SAY".

Second circle (Medium Blue): Nested entirely within the first circle, labeled "WHAT I CAN PUT INTO WORDS".

Third circle (Light Blue): Nested entirely within the second circle, labeled "WHAT I SAY TO THE DOCTOR".

Smallest circle (Pale Mint): A tiny circle nested within the third circle, with an arrow pointing to it labeled "WHAT THEY HEAR".

The URL "MyBodyIsTryingToKillMe.com" is printed in light gray text in the bottom right corner.
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Bonnie the Derpatron @bonniethederpatron.bsky.social · 19/06/2026
Respect to U-haul. 👌 Their job listing explicitly saying if you use AI for any part of the application or interview process you will be disqualified.
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Reposted by Bonnie the Derpatron
Chronic Illness Humor @chronicillness.bsky.social · 18/06/2026
meme using a classical oil portrait of an elderly woman with styled white hair, wearing a formal, light-colored dress with a sheer lace shawl, seated in an ornate armchair. Overlaid on the right side of the image is white text with a dark outline that reads word for word:

"I’ve reached that age where I don’t care how I look in photos anymore. I’d rather look good in X-rays, scans, and test results."

There is a faint, stylized watermark logo in the upper right background that reads "Gotta Louvre It".
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Reposted by Bonnie the Derpatron
Chronic Illness Humor @chronicillness.bsky.social · 17/06/2026
square, framed sign with a light-colored background and a natural wood frame rests outdoors against the base of a textured tree trunk.

The text on the sign reads:
"EXCUSE THE MESS. I'M A SHITTY HOUSEWIFE"
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Bonnie the Derpatron @bonniethederpatron.bsky.social · 17/06/2026
I hate humidity with a firey passion of 100,000 burning suns.
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Bonnie the Derpatron @bonniethederpatron.bsky.social · 17/06/2026
Live laugh toaster bath 👌
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Bonnie the Derpatron @bonniethederpatron.bsky.social · 16/06/2026
Bacon and limes 😅 🤢 Peanut butter and bananas too. Those ones trigger headaches though so could technically be an allergy. I am not picky at all and will try almost anything, but the things I don't care for end up being popular things 😂
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Reposted by Bonnie the Derpatron
Chronic Illness Humor @chronicillness.bsky.social · 15/06/2026
I'M NOT OVERWHELMED BECAUSE I CAN'T HANDLE IT. I'M OVERWHELMED BECAUSE I DO HANDLE IT.

ALL. OF. IT.
ALL. THE. FUCKING. TIME.
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Reposted by Bonnie the Derpatron
Chronic Illness Humor @chronicillness.bsky.social · 14/06/2026
[a black-and-white photo showing a hand holding a large, heart-shaped piece of paper. Handwritten message on the heart is written in fine-tip marker, concluding with a small drawn heart symbol at the bottom. The background is softly blurred, showing outdoor foliage and a bench.]

I hope that whoever is reading this knows that even if nobody checked on you today, you STILL matter ♡
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Reposted by Bonnie the Derpatron
Chronic Illness Humor @chronicillness.bsky.social · 14/06/2026
holding a candlelight vigil for my spoons
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Reposted by Bonnie the Derpatron
Chronic Illness Humor @chronicillness.bsky.social · 14/06/2026
@chronicillness.bsky.social - Pizza would never accuse you of faking your illness or tell you to lose weight.



MyBodyIsTryingToKillMe.com
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Bonnie the Derpatron @bonniethederpatron.bsky.social · 14/06/2026
On a more fun note, anyone got any bakery recommendations in Brooklyn NYC? 👀 I'm hankering for baked goods.
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Bonnie the Derpatron @bonniethederpatron.bsky.social · 14/06/2026
On a more fun note, anyone got any bakery recommendations in Brooklyn NYC? 👀 I'm hankering for baked goods.
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Bonnie the Derpatron @bonniethederpatron.bsky.social · 14/06/2026
My new job is stressing me out to the max but I literally fought tooth and nail just to get this one so I have to just keep suffering so my bills can get paid. 😩
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Bonnie the Derpatron @bonniethederpatron.bsky.social · 13/06/2026
Pickled onions are amazing.
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Reposted by Bonnie the Derpatron
julie muncy, calamity's augur @julie.radiantarray.io · 11/06/2026
MOTHERFUCKER
me, two months ago, posting "jesus they're going to use pokemon fucking go to make weapons technology aren't they"
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Reposted by Bonnie the Derpatron
Chronic Illness Humor @chronicillness.bsky.social · 11/06/2026
Chronic Illness Humor
@chronicillness.bsky.social

"You're gonna feel really sick in the morning if you stay up late."

Jokes on you I'm gonna feel really sick in the morning either way.

MyBodyIsTryingToKillMe.com
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